Page 49

FORTY-NINE

HUDSON

Puck Kings

Me

Tonight is the night, y’all.

Easy E

For what? Are you losing your virginity?

G-Money

Pretty sure he’s having more sex than you right now, dude.

Me

Thank you for your fascination with my love life, Ethan, but no.

I’m going to show Madeline and Lucy the sign language I’ve been learning.

Mavvy

Hell yeah, man!! I’m so pumped for you!

Mitchy

Dude. That’s awesome. Are you excited?

Me

I kind of want to throw up.

Is this too much?

Probably.

Sully

No.

G-Money

What the hell does no mean?

Sully

It means no, it’s not too much. This is a good fucking thing you’re doing, Hudson.

Easy E

I think I might be crying in the club RN????

Mitchy

It’s noon. Really hope you’re not at the club.

Me

I don’t know why I’m so scared.

Mitchy

Because you really care about her.

Sully

About them.

Mavvy

You’re falling in love with her, Hud. Of course you’re scared.

G-Money

Holy shit. Is Cap a relationship guru now?

Mavvy

I might be.

They’re going to love it, Hud.

Me

Okay. Yeah. Thanks y’all.

Mitchy

Text us after.

G-Money

Should we get a ladder, climb up to his balcony, and watch?

Mitchy

Not creepy at all.

Easy E

I have a ladder guy.

Sully

How the fuck do you have a ladder guy?

Easy E

Wouldn’t you like to know? ;)

Madeline

I know it’s March and still a little cold outside (which is bullshit, BTW!), but Lucy wants to know if we can get ice cream tonight after dinner.

Me

Do we need dinner? Can we skip straight to ice cream?

Madeline

That’s not a very balanced diet, Hayes. You know nutrition is important, and you’re talking to a chef here. No skipping dinner!

Me

Fine. Dinner, then ice cream. What’s on the menu tonight?

Madeline

You didn’t look at the calendar I sent you this week?

Me

I stopped looking at that months ago. I love everything you make. You’re always going to get a yes from me.

Madeline

*Attachment: 1 image*

Do I get a yes on this bra I bought?

Me

Christ, Mads.

You’re going to make me have a heart attack.

I’m in the locker room and Riley just asked why I turned my phone brightness all the way down.

A thousand yeses. Take my credit card and buy a thousand more.

Madeline

Glad you. Like. I’ll let you take it off me tonight.

Me

Sorry, what? I’m still staring at the photo you sent. Might make it my phone background.

Madeline

You would never.

Me

You’re right. I wouldn’t. But fuck do I want to.

Puck Kings

Me: Tonight is the night, guys.

Easy E: What? You’re losing your virginity?

G-Money: Pretty sure he’s having more sex than you right now, dude.

Me: Thank you for your fascination with my sex life, Ethan, but, no.

Me: I’m ready to show Madeline and Lucy the sign language I’ve been learning.

Mavvy: Hell yeah, man. I’m so pumped for you.

Riley: Dude. That’s awesome. Are you excited?

Me: I kind of want to throw up. Is this too much?

Sully: No.

G-Money: What the hell does no mean?

Sully: It means no. It’s not too much. This is a good fucking thing you’re doing, Hudson.

Easy E: I think I might be crying in the club RN????

Riley: It’s noon. Really hope you’re not at the club.

Me: I don’t know why I’m scared.

Riley: Because you really care about her.

Sully: About them.

Mavvy: You’re falling in love with her, man. Of course you’re scared.

G-Money: Holy shit. Is Cap a relationship guru now?

Mavvy: I might be. You’re going to be fine, Hud. They’re going to love it.

Me: Okay. Yeah. Thanks. I appreciate your confidence in me.

Riley: We love you.

Easy E: A whole fucking lot.

G-Money: The trolls on the internet would lose their minds if they found out we told each other I love you. LOL. I love it.

**

Madeline: I know it’s March and still a little cold outside, but Lucy wants to know if we can get ice cream tonight after dinner.

Me: Do we need dinner? Can we skip straight to the ice cream?

Madeline: That’s not a very balanced diet, Hayes. You know nutrition is important!

Me: Fine. Dinner, then ice cream. What’s on the menu tonight?

Madeline: You didn’t look at the calendar I sent you this week?

Me: Stopped looking at that months ago. I love everything you make. You’re always going to get a yes from me.

Madeline: *Attachment: 1 image*

Madeline: Do I get a yes on this bra I bought?

Me: Christ, Mads.

Me: You’re going to make me have a heart attack.

Me: A thousand yeses.

Madeline: Glad you like. I’ll let you take it off of me tonight.

Me: Sorry, what? I’m still staring at the photo you sent. Might make it my phone background.

Madeline: You would never.

Me: You’re right. I wouldn’t. But fuck do I want to.

**

Lucy skips ahead of us down the sidewalk with the dogs, and Madeline nudges my side.

“Hey,” she says, and I look down at her. “Are you okay?”

“What?” I scrub a hand over my face, trying to pull myself back to our conversation instead of zoning out like I have been. “I’m fine.”

“You were quiet all of dinner. And you haven’t said anything in five minutes.”

“Just have a lot on my mind.” I shrug. “Hockey, you know?”

I don’t want to tell her I’ve been a pile of fucking nerves all day. Every time she and Lucy would have a conversation, my fingers itched to join them. I almost started signing when Lucy asked Madeline when my next game is, but I want to make this special for them.

“No, I don’t know,” Madeline teases. “I can confidently say that’s not something I think about regularly. There’s only a month left in the regular season, right?”

“Yeah. We’re locked in for the playoffs, and we should have home ice advantage for the first round. Y’all are going to come to a couple of playoff games, right? They’re way better than the regular season.”

“We can definitely make time for that. Maybe my parents can fly out for one. They haven’t been to DC yet, and I’m sure my dad could be easily swayed to leave the nice Vegas weather with tickets close to the ice.”

I laugh. “Hey. At least it isn’t as gloomy as it was last month.”

“It’s still pretty dreary, Hayes. A far cry from the mid-seventies they have right now.”

“All right. I’m a little jealous. But your parents should definitely fly out. There’s plenty of space in the condo, or if they want some privacy, I can help put them up in a hotel. Plus, I’d love to meet the people responsible for raising you.”

“You really want to meet my parents?” she asks.

“Yeah.” I nod enthusiastically. “Of course I do. Feels like the next step for us, right?”

“Yeah.” Her smile is soft under the late evening sky, and she nods. “I think it is.”

“We’ll plan something.”

Madeline glances at Lucy, watching her wait patiently for gas to pee on the grass in the park before patting his head and moving along for the ice cream shop. “She’s a good kid, isn’t she she? I mean, I know I’m biased as her parent, but I can’t imagine how there’s a child out there better than her.”

“She’s perfect.” I wrap my arm around Madeline and pull her close to my side. Just being near her helps ease the tension I’ve been holding all afternoon. “Just like you.”

“Sounds like you’re flirting with me, hockey guy.”

“I’m always flirting with you, Mads. Pretty sure I was flirting with you the first time you walked into my condo.” I pause, rubbing her shoulder. “Should we tell her about us?”

“You mean how we’re sleeping together and sneaking out of each other’s rooms before she wakes up in the morning?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what proper protocol is her. I’ve never been with a woman who has a kid before, and I want to make sure I’m doing things right.” I pause and look down at her. I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, touching her cheek. “And we’re not just sleeping together. You know this isn’t a quick fuck thing for me, right?”

“I know that, Mr. Anti One-Night Stands.” Her grin is bright and beautiful. I don’t know how I went so long without having it in my life, and I hope I get to see it again when we get back to the condo and I show them my signing. I’d do anything to make her smile. “I guess we should tell her. I know it’s going to be hard for her to understand because you’ve already been in our lives for so long already, but I’ll do my best to answer questions she has. She’s never had a father figure in her life. I’m not saying that’s the role you need to fill, but I’m sure she’s going to ask what’s going to be different from how things are now.”

“I’ll be whatever role you both want me to be. And nothing has to change. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I don’t want you to have any uncomfortable conversations, so I’m not going to make out with you in the kitchen. Maybe, just, I don’t know. We tell her we care about each other?”

“We’ve done plenty of other things in that kitchen,” she says with pride, and I give her a gentle shake that makes her laugh. “This is my first time navigating dating someone with Lucy in the picture, so we can work together and figure out what to do. Teamwork, baby.”

“Look at you with the sports terms.” Lucy glances behind her and signs something to Madeline. I pick up on bits and pieces — mommy, dogs, ice cream —and I’m really fucking proud of myself. I’m still scared fucking shitless, I still have a long way to go, but I’m proud. “I can hold the dogs while you go in. Will you grab me a cup of cookies and cream with extra Oreos on top?”

“So much for your no dessert stance.” Madeline pokes my stomach, her touch lingering for a flash of a second, then pulls away. “Coming right up, Bombshell.”

Lucy hands over Gus and Millie, and we wait while they file inside. I tap my foot anxiously on the sidewalk, and I practice a few signs with my back turned so Lucy and Madeline can’t see.

My fingers won’t stop shaking, and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get through a whole conversation with them.

Ten minutes and three cups of ice cream later, we find a bean h in the park under a lamppost. Lucy hops on a swing not far from us and kicks her feet back and forth while the dogs sit in front of her and beg for a bite.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Madeline looks at my bouncing knee then up at my face. “You can talk to me, you know. About anything. About your mom. About your games. I want to be a safe space for you, Hudson.”

She’s the safest space I’ve ever had. I could strip myself down to nothing but my bones and I’d feel nothing but shielded with her.

“I know I can.” I reach over and give her thigh a quick squeeze. “And that’s why I like you so much. Because I can be myself around you. I’m fine. Really. I… I have a surprise for Lucy. For you,” I finally admit. “When we get back to the house. And I don’t know what y’all are going to think about it.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“You can tell me anything, Mads.”

“You could hand Lucy a rock and she’d think it’s the greatest thing in the world. Whatever surprise you have for her—for me—is going to be really fucking cool. I can’t wait to see what it is.”

“How do you always know the right things to say?” I scoot closer to her. She rests her cheek on my shoulder, sighing. “Every time. It blows my mind.”

“It’s because I’m so wise. You’re still learning.” She turns her face so she can kiss the sleeve of my hoodie. “Seriously, though. You’re the most spectacular man I’ve ever met. Everything you’ve done for us up to this point has been thoughtful. This isn’t going to be any different.”

“Come on, knife girl. You’re putting me on a pedestal.”

“I’m not, Hudson. I mean it.”

Her words warm me up. They make me hold her a little tighter and a little closer. She could be reckless with my heart, with my feelings, and I’d still find a way to thank her because that’s how special she is.

“I’ll take a poll after the surprise,” I say. “We’ll see if your answer is the same.”

“And if it is?”

“I don’t know. Guess we’ll find out.”

Madeline smiles. “Guess we will.”