Page 39

THIRTY-NINE

MADELINE

Me

Nice goal.

Blond Bombshell

I like that you’re watching my games, Mads. Your spectating grade is climbing higher every day.

Me

I can’t wait until I get an A.

You’ll be home tonight, right?

Blond Bombshell

Yeah. Late, though. We don’t land until midnight.

Me

Lucy has a sleepover at a classmate’s house. I can wait up.

Blond Bombshell

You sure? It’s going to be past one a.m.

Me

Yeah. I’ve missed you. The place isn’t the same without you here.

Blond Bombshell

I’ve missed you too.

How’s your dad doing?

Me

Much better. The tests didn’t show any signs of concern, but the doctor still wants him to work on his diet.

Blond Bombshell

I’m glad to hear it.

See you soon, Knife Girl.

“Madeline.”

I roll over and wrap my arms around a pillow. Is my name coming from a dream? From real life?

“Maddie.”

It’s louder this time.

I yawn and crack open an eye. Moonbeams outline Hudson sitting on the edge of my bed, and I smile.

Real life, but one that feels like a dream.

“Hey,” I croak. “You’re home.”

“I am. And you’re asleep.”

“What? No.” I sit up and rub my eyes, flicking on the lamp. “I was reading my book.”

“In the pitch black? You sure are talented.”

“It’s too late for your sarcasm, Hayes.” I yawn again. My vision adjusts to the soft glow from the light. It takes a minute for my sleep-fogged brain to catch up, and I realize he’s home. He’s sitting in front of me with his navy-blue suit and his tie half-unknotted, and he’s so damn beautiful. “How was your flight? How was the game? I saw you were winning when I put Lucy to bed.”

“It was pretty boring with a 1-0 score, but we won.” He touches my cheek and moves a piece of hair away from my face. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I wanted to see you.”

“I’m glad you did.” My eyes bounce to his cheek, noticing a welt just above the scruff of his beard. “Holy shit. What happened to you?”

“Ah. I accidentally ran into the other team’s goalie after a missed shot. His teammate stood up for him and decked me in the jaw. I can’t be too mad. I would’ve done the same if anyone messed with Liam.”

“That looks like it hurts.” I should probably get him some ice. The purple and red mark is going to leave behind a nasty bruise. “Do you need anything?”

“I’ll survive. I’m already feeling better.” Hudson rests his forehead against mine and sighs. It sounds like he’s been holding his breath for days. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Stay. I’m not tired anymore.”

“Are you sure? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Yeah.” I rest my hand on his chest and give him a gentle shove so he stands. I rise to my feet, wrapping his tie around my wrist. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“Then I’ll stay put.” He takes off his suit jacket, dropping it to the floor. His attention stays on me when he unfastens the top button of his shirt. “Anything in particular you want to do, Mads?”

I stand on my toes and brush my lips against his, desperate for him.

I’ve been waiting to see him. Waiting to see if my heart would still skip a beat when he smiles at me, and it does.

My draw to him isn’t just lust and infatuation. It’s feelings, real and true, and I want to do so many things with him.

I want to see him without any of his clothes on. I want to kiss his chest and trace the muscles he’s spent years perfecting. I want him to fuck me like we’re going to die tomorrow, but I also want him to touch me like we have all the time in the world.

I let out a shaky breath. I forgot how dizzying it is to be around him. How warm and tingly I get, all the way down to my toes. It’s like I’m drunk, tipsy at the sight of his smile. Intoxicated by his piercing gaze.

The buzz of anticipation sits at the base of my spine, and the excitement about what we might do, where this is going, sits low in my stomach.

“Do you want me to make a list?” I ask.

He runs his thumb down my arm. “I’ve always been a visual learner.”

I unknot his tie and throw it on the floor with his jacket. I drag my fingers down the front of his shirt and unfasten the second button from the top. “Can I?—”

“Anything. Nothing. Whatever you want.” Hudson cups my chin with so much care, I almost melt because of it. “I’m at your mercy.”

I’m quick to untuck his shirt and undo the rest of the buttons. I push it off his shoulders, watch it fall to the floor. Keeping my eyes on him, I grab the hem of my own shirt and tug it over my head in a split-second decision fueled by an ache and a need I haven’t felt in years.

If ever.

Hudson keeps his eyes on mine when I’m naked from the waist up. He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t try to sneak a glance at my chest. I notice how red his cheeks are when I take a step back. How he’s standing perfectly still, afraid to move, and the way he swallows when I smile.

“Hudson,” I murmur. “I want you like I wanted you the other night. I want more than the other night.”

At some point, we’re going to have to have a talk about what’s happening between us. We’re going to have to dive into a conversation about the future and where this is going. We’ll have to mention the important things, like my hesitation for another relationship and how Lucy will always be my number one priority. A man will never take her place.

That discussion won’t be tonight, though, and I’m glad.

It’s hard to focus on the rational things when I can see the outline of his cock through his pants. When he licks his lips and concentrates on me with a look so intense, I might combust from it alone.

“What kind of more?” Hudson moves toward me, and the backs of my thighs hit the bed. I sit on the mattress and watch with wonder as he stands between my legs. I remember what he said about making me see the stars, and I hope he takes me there again tonight. “I want to make sure I’m not reading this wrong because I’ve been dreaming about it, Maddie. For goddamn days.”

“I’m half naked and sitting on my bed while my child is at a sleepover, Hudson. Is there any other way to read this? Do you want to go play ping pong or take the dogs for a walk?”

His chuckle dies in his throat when he finally pulls his eyes away from my face and looks at my body. A groan, rough and low, works its way from his mouth when he moves from my throat to my chest. His hand flexes at his side when his attention settles on my breasts, and I pretend it’s his patience slipping away.

“Fuck,” Hudson whispers through a drawn-out exhale. Lifting a shaky hand, he draws a circle around my nipple with his thumb. He pinches it between two fingers and groans when I arch my back. “You’re going to be the death of me, Madeline. Please be gentle when you kill me.”

It’s impossible to find the words to tell him he’s going to be the death of me , because he’s holding my cheeks like I’m something delicate and beautiful. He’s bending his neck and kissing me so fiercely, I’m afraid I might catch on fire.

I wrap my arms around his neck, moving willingly when he eases me farther onto the bed. I lie flat on my back, squirming when he holds his body over mine and dips his head again, taking my breast in his mouth.

His tongue is warm as he swirls it over my nipple. He makes me pant when he gently bites the soft skin he finds there, and I’m beginning to think Hudson Hayes is a tit man.

“Hudson.” I run my fingers through his hair. I tug on the blond strands so he knows to stay in place. “I like that.”

“Yeah?” He pops me out of his mouth and uses his fingers to mimic the same pattern. He spreads his saliva across my chest, but I don’t care. I want him to make a mess. I want to see a side of him no one else gets to see. “Do you like it?”

It’s stimulation no toy could ever give me. My entire body is an inferno, and it’s hard not to laugh and blurt out a resounding yes .

“Very much so. Permission to keep doing it.” When I look up at him, I catch him staring at the spot below my collarbone. He touches the small tattoo that sits there. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’ve been wondering what your tattoo could be for months .” He smiles at the ink on my skin. Draws over each number and the small heart at the end. “Is it Lucy’s birthday?”

“How did you know?”

“She’s the love of your life. Who else would it be for?”

That makes the string inside me pull unbelievably tight. I’ll fawn over the romance of it all and his attention to detail later. I might doodle his name in a journal and put ten hearts around it in the morning—how could I not?—but for now I need him. In a way I’ve never needed anyone else.

I take his hand, guiding it down my body like I did the other night. I don’t stop until I reach the waistband of my pajama shorts, and the barrier between us might as well be a scarp of fabric. I stroke my thumb up his arm and look at him with a smile.

“Fuck me, Hudson,” I say with absolute conviction. When I position his hand over the seam of my shorts—low enough so he can feel how turned on I am—and add, “ Please ,” an honest to god whimper comes out of his mouth.

“Okay. Okay . Yeah, that’s—are you… birth control,” he manages to say, his face red, chest heaving. “Are you on it?”

“No. I haven’t had a reason to be.”

“Give me a second.”

Hudson kisses my forehead and disappears, but not before I see him shove a hand down the front of his pants to adjust himself.

I grin, proud of the effect I have on him, and wait patiently for him to get back.

He’s not gone long, ninety seconds at most, and when he shuffles through the door, he’s holding a box of condoms.

“Wow.” I smirk and push up on my elbows. “Someone’s ambitious.”

“I, uh, bought these the other day. Not because I assumed anything would happen,” he adds, and I do my best to not laugh at his backpedaling. “Just, you know. In case. Wishful thinking.”

“You’re a planner. That’s a good trait to have, hockey guy.” I gesture for him to rejoin me on the bed, and he lays on his side. “What other traits do you have?”

“I like to think I know what I’m doing. When we’re together, I’ll make sure you’re enjoying yourself. I’ll make sure you finished first, and I’ll make sure to talk you through it when I’m fucking you.” He brings his mouth to my ear, teeth nipping at my skin. “Are those good traits, Maddie?”

“Yeah.” I lick my lips and close my eyes when he moves his mouth down my neck. “Those are definitely good traits.”

“Can I take these off?” Hudson’s fingers dip below the waistband of my shorts. He strokes the skin south of my belly button, and I lift my hips. He doesn’t stay on the mattress very long, choosing to drop to his knees on the floor and tug on my calves so my ass hangs off the bed. “So I can see you? So I can touch and taste you?”

“Yeah.” I’m wet, so eager for him, but some of my confidence wavers. “But only if we turn off the light.”