Page 16

SIXTEEN

HUDSON

“Order. Order,” Maverick yells, and he knocks his rubber mallet on the fireplace. “Can you all shut up for two seconds so book club can commence?”

“Hey.” I put my pinkies in my mouth and whistle. That quiets everyone down, and the boys settle in their spots in Grant’s apartment. “There we go.”

“Leave it to Huddy Boy to get us to listen.” Riley pats an empty spot on the couch, and I sit. “We’re loud, aren’t we?”

“Loud is an understatement.” I set my book on my lap and flip through the annotated pages. “I can hear Ethan and Grant’s voices ringing in my ears when I’m trying to sleep.”

“That means you’re getting old, Hayes,” Ethan tosses back.

“Ten suicides at practice tomorrow, Richardson. Argue and I’ll make it fifteen.” Maverick sits next to me, gives me a sharp grin. “Remember when we were the young and dumb ones on the team?”

“Speak for yourself, Miller. I was never dumb.”

“Bullshit. I remember a hotel in Cleveland and sneaking into the kitchen at two in the morning because we were fucking starving.”

“Do you remember the part where I left money in the fridge because I felt bad for taking their leftover fettuccini Alfredo?” I ask.

“You left two hundred bucks.” He laughs. “That’s when I realized you were always going to hold my ass accountable.”

“Think it turned out okay.” I gesture around us. “Look at what you’ve built.”

“We. What we’ve built, Hud.” Maverick ruffles my hair. “Glad you got all the food cleaned off you.”

“You helped start that mess.” I tap my paperback and look at the group. “I know y’all said last month’s pick was controversial. How did we feel about this one?”

“It was mediocre,” Liam says. “I liked the narrators. I didn’t like the story.”

“How did you not like the story?” Ethan asks. “It’s about a basketball player pretending to date his best friend’s sister. And she says she doesn’t like him. It’s gold .”

“I’m tired of books that claim the main characters don’t like each other. I want to see it. Give me a dagger to the throat,” Liam says, and Grant nods in agreement.

“Pretty sure that could be considered assault,” Riley chimes in.

“Not in dark romance it’s not,” Grant says. “That’s why I like that shit the most.”

“Yeah, because stalkers are more believable than two people not liking each other,” I draw out.

“They could be,” Grant challenges. “And fantasy too. When they’re sword fighting and he’s all I hope you’re prepared to meet your end , and she’s all I’d sooner die than let you win, and then he nicks her cheek and smirks? I live for that shit.”

“Holy shit. Should we bring swords to the arena and fight?” Ethan asks.

“Not happening,” I say. “I don’t trust half of y’all with sticks, let alone a weapon that could slash someone in half.”

“Mitchy?” Maverick asks. “Thoughts on the book?”

Riley clears his throat. “I liked it. I really liked the scene where, ah…” He trails off and grabs his beer, taking a long sip. “The car scene.”

“The car scene .” Ethan slaps the table. “That was hot.”

“And illegal,” I say.

“My god, man. Have you ever had any fucking fun in your life? We know you’d never get a woman off while operating a motor vehicle, but you have to admit it was fun to read,” Ethan says.

Ten pairs of eyes look at me.

Yeah , you set yourself up with this one .

I silently berate myself and then sigh, knowing the guys aren’t going to let me off easy.

“Fine. No, I will not be getting anyone off while driving. Yes, it was fun to read. Yes, it was hot,” I admit, and Ethan pumps his arm in the air. “But I’m not saying another word about things I enjoy in the bedroom. That’s all you’re getting.”

“Prude,” Connor calls out, and I flip him off.

“I’m not a prude. I just don’t want y’all knowing what my girl might like. That’s for me and her, not you nosy assholes. Besides. I’ve never had any complaints. One ex even sent me a message a month after she broke up with me because she missed my hands,” I say.

The admission sets them all off. Ethan tackles me. Grant jumps on top of us. Maverick is cackling, and even I can’t help but laugh.

“Huddy Boy is a fucking dog ,” Grant yells.

“I knew he’d be a freak in the bedroom,” Ethan says, and I untangle myself from them.

“I’m not a freak. I just know how to listen,” I say. “Helps a lot.”

“We need to make him watch the ‘Juno’ positions clips and figure out which ones he likes.” Grant drops to the floor and thrusts into the rug. “Have you ever tried this one , Hud?”

“If that’s how you fuck women, Grant, it’s no wonder you have to use your hand so much,” I tell him. “I don’t know why y’all care about my sex life. I’m not an interesting person.”

“But your hands.” Riley lifts my arm, and I knock him on the head with my book. “What is it about your hands?”

“Do you want me to start conducting a survey?” I ask.

“Yes,” they all say.

“Who are you dating right now anyway?” Connor asks. “You haven’t mentioned anyone in a while.”

I shrug. “Because I’m not dating anyone.”

“Uh oh. Did our resident romantic turn into a cynic?” Riley sighs. “Dammit. You were my only hope for believing in love, Hayes.”

“I’m not a cynic. I just…” I shrug. “I don’t know. I’ll get back out there, but for now it’s nice to enjoy what’s happening around me.”

“You love to date,” Maverick says, and I shrug again.

I don’t say the things I’m thinking: how I’m always worried I’m too much. Too over the top, like women in the past have called me. That the therapy I’ve been doing since my mom’s death is working, but I still feel like I’m this ball of emotion who loves people too fiercely, who cares too deeply, who wonders if my brain might be hardwired wrong.

Too soft for an athlete , an ex called me.

You’re mature, but I want someone who’s a little wilder , another said.

Maybe I am losing hope.

Maybe every day I become less of a romantic and more okay with the possibility of being alone.

Maybe not everyone finds that great love, and I’m one of the unlucky ones.

“I do. I also have two new roommates and a hockey season to focus on. I’m busy doing other things, and that’s okay,” I say. “Now that we’ve gotten the conversation about my nonexistent dating life out of the way, can we get back to the book please?”

“Not yet,” Liam says. “How’s it going with Madeline and Lucy?”

That surprises me.

Liam’s never been one to care about what goes on off the ice. In fact, he actively avoids it.

There’s a hint of protectiveness behind his question, though, and it makes me think I need to answer very carefully or he’ll put a fist in my face.

“Really well,” I say. “We go to the park with the dogs and hang out. Madeline is a great chef, and we get along well.”

I leave out the part where we sat on my couch together the other night. How her laughs turned into snorts and how I couldn’t help having one more glass of wine because it meant spending a little more time with her.

I didn’t regret a single minute of it when I got to practice the next day.

“Piper likes Madeline. And I love Piper. I’m not going to be happy if the woman I care about loses a friend because you can’t keep those precious hands of yours to yourself.”

“When did tonight go from book club to a pile-on-Hudson discussion?” I grumble. “It’s not like that with her. We’re friends, and we established a professional relationship early on.”

“Good.” Liam smiles, and it freaks me out. “Why did you like the book?”

“Oh. Um. I thought it was relatable. It’s a professional athlete falling for a woman with a normal job who doesn’t care about how much money he made or what his stats were. She loved him, not the fame.”

Riley pinches my cheek. “I knew that romantic guy was still in there.”

“Can we talk about NBA money for a second?” Ethan interrupts, and I’m glad to get the attention off myself. “What’s with the NHL’s bullshit seventeen point six million a year rule? You’ve got point guards in the NBA earning fifty-five million a year and I’m out here getting fucking eight? I should’ve learned how to hoop.”

“They don’t let gingers shoot the ball,” Grant says, and chaos ensues when our center launches himself at our right winger.

I lean back and let them go at each other. They’re always like this, and they won’t cause any actual damage. At twenty-three and twenty-four, they’re the youngest of the group, and it’s good to see they’re not growing up too fast.

“How long are you going to let them flail around before you stop them?” I ask Maverick, and he snorts.

“It would be nice to leave them here for the rest of the night. But I guess I should step in, right?”

“That’s why you wear the big C on your jersey.”

“Could be because of my big c?—”

“Ow, you fucker.” Ethan flips Grant onto his back and straddles him. “Apologize for pulling my hair.”

“Never,” Grant yells.

“If you don’t want to apologize for acting like a toolbag, you have to answer one of my burning questions.” Ethan smirks. “What the fuck is up with that notebook you carry around with you?”

“It’s full of numbers I get from girls,” he’s quick to say. “A way to keep track of their names.”

“There’s no way you’re pulling that much pussy,” Ethan says.

“Fuck you. I can pull whoever I want. I get plenty of action.”

“Maybe you should try and pull Hudson’s new roommate. If he’s not going to, someone should. I hear she’s hot as fuck. You could show her you know how to use a stick. Get it?”

“ Hey ,” I say sharply, and everyone stares at me. I’m not one to raise my voice, but I hate hearing this kind of shit. “I don’t care if that was a joke. Knock it the fuck off or save it for the bar when I’m not around. And keep my roommate’s name out of your mouth. None of you are touching her, and you’re not going to talk about her like that again. Got it?”

“Sorry,” they both mumble, and Ethan hangs his head.

“I come to book club to talk about books. Why? Because the last five years have been really fucking shitty for me, and this right here? This is what I look forward to every month. I get to hang out with my brothers and not think about hockey for a couple hours. It’s one of the only bright spots in my life right now, but I’m not going to stick around if this is how it’s going to be every month.” I pause to take a breath, fired up. “I know y’all like sex. I like it too, even though it’s been a while. I just don’t want it to be my entire personality.”

“We can talk about Dave’s Dogs instead? And how they’re going to name a hot dog after me.” Ethan climbs off Grant and offers him his hand. “They could cater our next book club.”

I laugh. “I’ll take Dave’s Dogs over learning how many women Grant has slept with.”

“It’s not as many as you think.” Grant stands and drapes an arm over Ethan’s shoulders. “Let’s listen to Huddy Boy and get back to the book.”

“Are you good?” Maverick asks when everyone starts arguing over the lack of third act breakup in the story. “Not sure I’ve ever heard you so fired up about something.”

“Sorry.” I laugh again. “I didn’t mean to go off like that.”

“Wish I could’ve gotten a hundred bucks for every time you said fuck. I’d be rich.”

“Says the guy with the league’s biggest contract.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” I turn to the chapter with the grand gesture Ethan’s raving about. “I’m with you guys. Doesn’t get any better than this.”