Page 19

NINETEEN

MADELINE

“How did you like the salon?” Piper asks me in her living room.

“That lady is a miracle worker.” I touch the ends of my freshly trimmed hair and flip the locks over my shoulder. “Thank you for getting me in.”

“Your curtain bangs are so bouncy. I wish I could pull them off.” She grabs her purse and slides it up her arm. “And now you get to enjoy a night out on the town while looking like a knockout. Damn , Madeline. That shirt is something else.”

“It’s a bodysuit, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to pee all night. There’s no way I’m getting back into it in a public restroom. I nearly dislocated my shoulder getting it on. Who thought snapped buttons on my vagina were a good idea?”

She giggles. “Whatever it is, it’s working for you. Your curves are, respectfully, out of control. Your boobs? Incredible.”

I smile and touch the black fabric that dips below the top of my breasts. I haven’t shown this much cleavage in years, and while I’m still learning to be comfortable in my body post-baby, it feels good to step out of my comfort zone of leggings and baggy sweaters.

“The last time I went out with a group of girlfriends was before Lucy was born. Don’t let me drink too much and embarrass myself,” I say.

“I’d never let that happen. I’m excited to go out with you all, but I kind of wish I could see how Hudson and Liam do with Lucy tonight. I swear the only thing hotter than a guy with a kid is a guy wearing a backward hat.”

“So true.” We head out of her apartment and to the elevator. “I’m sure it’ll be great. They got through the day in one piece, and I’m getting updates every hour. I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up with butterfly clips in their hair and wearing sparkly eyeshadow.”

“If that happens, I need a picture. Maverick sent me one of Liam earlier today in his star role of Old Woman at story time. I’m going to frame it and put it on our nightstand.”

“You don’t think he’d hate that?”

“From anyone else? He’d probably break the frame. From me?” She shrugs. “I think it’ll get him to smile.”

“Your relationship sounds so special.”

“It’s funny. Liam and I haven’t been together long, but he’s made me happier than my ex ever did. And I was married to that guy for almost a decade .”

“It’s not the length of time that determines your happiness. It’s the person,” I say. “You can be with a really shitty person for years and never be happy, but you can meet someone right for you and feel like you’re floating after only a week or two together.”

“I like floating. Floating is so much better than drowning,” Piper says.

The restaurant is a short walk away, and the November night air isn’t as cold as it was last week. My coat keeps me warm, and Piper loops her arm through mine. She asks how the job is going, how Hudson and I are getting along, and if I’ve gone through his underwear drawer at all.

That makes me laugh, and when we make our way into the restaurant where we’re meeting Lexi and Emmy, an excitement I haven’t felt in years thrums in my blood.

The hostess leads us to our table, and after a round of hugs with the other women, I get comfortable in my chair and open my menu.

“It’s been too long since we’ve done this,” Lexi declares as she pours us all a glass of wine. “I’m sad Maven can’t be here because of stupid football, but I’m proposing a motion to make sure we have girls’ night at least once a month. I don’t like feeling like I’m out of the loop with your lives.”

“I see you every day at the arena,” Piper says. “We ate lunch together this afternoon, and you told me about the guy you went out with last night.”

“A date?” I ask, sipping my cabernet. I’ve enjoyed the glass or two I’ve had in Hudson’s apartment, but the alcohol tastes better when I’m surrounded by women who are becoming my friends. “How did it go?”

“Horribly, like every other date I’ve been on. The second I mention I work for a sports team, the accusations come out. You’ve probably slept with most of them, right ? And Do you actually know anything the sport? ” She clucks her tongue. “This guy hit me with a new one last night. He said something like So, what, do you hand out Band-Aids? I’m going to start telling people I’m a lawyer so they stop asking me such stupid fucking questions.”

“Is that what dating is like these days?” I wrinkle my nose. “It sounds exhausting.”

“Yes,” all three women say in unison.

“When was the last time you dated someone?” Emmy asks.

“Dinosaurs roamed the earth and I believed in happily ever afters,” I joke. “I haven’t been out with anyone in years. Before that, it was only my ex-husband.”

“You’ve only been with one guy ?” Lexi asks, but it’s not judgmental. If anything, she sounds appalled on my behalf. “You poor thing.”

“After he left us, I actively avoided dating. Now that Lucy is older and busy with a hundred different activities, I don’t have any time. My daughter is my top priority, and I’m not going to give up a night with her for a man who’s going to make me want to be celibate for another six years. And… what’s the point? There’s no guarantee it’ll end in anything but heartbreak. We date for three years and then he leaves? No thanks.”

“I agree with you.” Lexi drops her elbows on the table and frowns. “But we need to back up. What do you mean your ex left you? It wasn’t an amicable divorce?”

“That implies it was a mutual decision.” I snort. “Lucy failed her newborn test right after she was born, then she failed it again. We learned she was deaf, and a week later, divorce papers showed up at our home. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Emmy turns to face me with cheeks as red as her hair. “I’m going to need a full name and address so I can burn his fucking house down.”

“I’m coming with you,” Lexi says. “He’s a worthless human, and this is exactly what I mean when I say men aren’t shit. They want something until it gets difficult, then all they want is an out. What kind of pathetic excuse of a man abandons his wife and newborn?”

“That must’ve been really hard for you,” Piper says, and it helps to bring the violence level down a degree. “I thought my divorce was bad, but going through it with a child must have been even more difficult. I’m so sorry, Madeline.”

“Those were the darkest moments of my life,” I admit. “There was the postpartum depression—which is debilitating by itself—but then there were the intrusive thoughts. The ones that would keep me up at night where I wondered what I could’ve done differently to keep my family together. How I would explain to Lucy why her father wasn’t around and what made him leave.”

“That was him. And only him, Madeline,” Piper says. “If it wasn’t Lucy being born, it would’ve been something else down the road. I know it’s hard to see—and you still might not be able to see it—but him leaving was a blessing. You shouldn’t be with a man who’s not all in on you and the children you have together, no matter who they are.”

“I know that now. And it’s why I’m steering clear of men for the next ten years. My daughter is my priority.” I laugh and drink some more of my wine. My skin is warm. My head is fuzzy, but it’s good to get this off my chest. To share it with someone else. “I swear I’m not always such a downer. We can talk about dicks or something more fun.”

“What branch of dicks? The anatomical kind or the douche bag kind?” Lexi asks. “I prefer the anatomical kind.”

“That one.” I smile and refill my glass, glad I’m not driving tonight. “I haven’t seen one in ages. Do they look the same as they did six or seven years ago?”

“A lot more are pierced these days,” Lexi says, and I almost choke on my drink. “Definitely makes things more fun.”

“Maverick told me one of the guys on the team is pierced, but he wouldn’t give me a name.” Emmy rolls her eyes. “Damn locker room bro code.”

“ Pierced ?” I ask. “But where?—”

“Here.” Lexi taps her phone and scoots it across the table to me. I blink, and an image of a hard dick with a hoop attached to the tip takes up the screen. I zoom in and tilt my head to the side. “This is from my folder titled UNSOLICITED PHOTOS FROM WEIRD MEN I MEET ON DATING APPS. You’re looking at Miguel’s penis, which he sent to me at 11:27 in the morning, immediately after matching with him.”

“Wow. How—would that—does that feel good ?” I put my hand over the picture when our server approaches the table. “It looks like it would hurt.”

“Best orgasm I’ve ever had,” Lexi says proudly, and Emmy lifts her glass.

“I’ll drink to that.”

After ordering one of every appetizer off the menu instead of individual dishes, I listen to the three best friends fill each other in on what’s been going on in their lives. I add a few comments here and there, content to be an included bystander rather than the center of attention.

Lexi orders us another bottle of wine after we finish the first one, and I’m busy taking a bite of a meatball when a question gets lobbed my way.

“How’s it going with Hudson?” Emmy asks.

“It’s great. He’s easy to be around, and there isn’t a meal I’ve made that he hasn’t liked.” I pause to wipe a drop of marinara sauce away from the corner of my mouth. I wasn’t sure if we’d have anything in common, but we’re friends now. At least, it feels that way.”

“He’s a good guy, isn’t he?” Emmy says. “All the boys are the team are amazing, but there’s something special about Hudson. It’s like he really wants to know you. Once you’re close with him, he has your back. He’ll do anything for you, no questions asked.”

“Remember when he beat up your ex?” Piper asks. “That game was something else.”

“He mentioned he did that.” I look at Emmy. “Was he provoked?”

“I told him the things my ex said about me, and he didn’t like them very much. He and Maverick decided he’d be the one to start a fight so Mav could finish it. I think that’s the only time he’s gotten physical on the ice, but he’s a loyal man.”

“Wow.” I imagine him shoving a guy into the glass during a game. My cheeks heat in a blush I know isn’t from the wine, and I twist my hands together. “I saw him shirtless the other night and realized how attractive he is. Which is a big problem. Am I allowed to think he’s hot? Probably not, but I do. I’d never act on it,” I hurry to say. “It’s just… I’m learning it’s not the worst thing in the world to be living with a man who looks like him and is sweet as hell.”

“Why wouldn’t you act on it?” Piper asks, and it’s my turn to laugh.

“Because it’s unprofessional. Because I have a good thing going right now with this job. I’m doing what I love. I get to be with Lucy every minute she’s not at school, and stability is important to me. When Hudson is out of town, we get to go to the museums and the parks. This is the most time we’ve spent together, and I’m grateful for it. Sticking my tongue down his throat is not going to help with stability.”

“What about a friends-with-benefits thing?” Lexi asks.

“Oh, god. I’m not sure I remember how to have sex. And that would be awkward as hell the next morning.”

“Probably for the best. Hud is an all-in kind of guy,” Emmy says. “He’d want a relationship, not something casual.”

“He told me he’s a romantic, and I’m… not. I don’t believe in all that sappy shit anymore, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for another serious relationship. I’ll just admire him from afar,” I say. “He’s a great guy, and I hope he finds someone who’s as lovely as he is, but it’s not going to me.”

“Let’s drink to admiring hot men,” Emmy says, and when I clink my glass against hers, I realize it’s fun as hell to finally have friends like this.