Page 35

THIRTY-FIVE

HUDSON

Puck Kings

Easy E

Book club tomorrow night!

I never knew reading could be so much fun.

G-Money

You only like it because the characters bang every other chapter.

Easy E

Hell yeah they do. And it’s hot AF.

Mitchy

I’m hosting this month. If any of you fuck with the canvas I’m working on, I will make your life hell.

Me

No one is going to touch your artwork, Riley.

Mavvy

See you losers at six tomorrow! Be there or be square!

Easy E

Your dad jokes are getting lame, Mavvy.

Sully

Not as lame as your face.

G-Money

Not your best burn, Goalie Daddy, but any chance to roast Ethan is a good day.

Piper

How is the signing coming?

Me

Good, yeah. I’m meeting twice a week virtually with a sophomore at Gallaudet. He’s really helpful. I’m still slow, but I’m getting there.

Piper

I’m SO proud of you.

Repetition will help. Are you practicing when you’re not meeting with him?

Me

Yeah. I stand in front of my mirror and practice. I record myself too and send it to him. He’s a nice dude.

Piper

I can’t wait to learn what your name sign is!

Me

My what?

Piper

It’s such a wonderful part of Deaf culture. A member of the Deaf community will give you a name sign that correlates with who you are as a person. Hang on.

*Attachment: 1 video*

See how I fingerspell my name, and after, I make a B-thumb handshape, place it on my chin, and brush it down? That’s “sweet” in ASL. A deaf friend in college gave me my name sign, and it’s how I introduce myself. When I communicate with Lucy, she doesn’t spell Piper anymore. She just uses my name sign.

Me

That’s really fucking cool. Do you think I’ll get one?

Piper

I bet you will. If your tutor doesn’t give you one, I bet Lucy will. Maybe she already has.

Me

That makes me want to practice even more so I can do all of this right.

Piper

I know it does, Huddy. You’re doing so well already.

“Riley. This piece of art is really good.” I stare at the canvas he has set up on an easel in the corner of his living room. “You’re getting good.”

“No way. There are eight-year-olds in the class who are the next fucking Picasso, and I’m struggling to paint a tree.”

“Better than anything I could do.” I clasp a hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to be a Renaissance man before you know it.”

“Order, order,” Maverick yells. Riley elbows my ribs, and I make my way to a chair by the couch. “Book club is officially underway, lads. Before we get started, I want to take a moment to wish our own Grant Everett good luck at All-Star Weekend where he’s competing in the skills competition next week. May he succeed in being the NHL’s fastest skater and have the most accurate shooting.”

“Come on.” Grant blushes, giving us all a grin. “The only reason I’m invited is because you turned down the spot, Mavvy.”

“Not true, G. You earned your place,” I say. “You’re going to have a blast. We’re all proud of you.”

“Shucks, guys.” He flips open his book and taps the pages. “In honor of my exciting accomplishments that have no bearing on our team or the season, I’d like us to start the discussion of our dark romance book by posing a question to you all. If you were forced to eat a body part of someone else, what body part would you pick, and why?”

“I almost DNFed this book.” Riley grimaces. “The thought of chewing on someone’s finger literally made me gag.”

“But you wouldn’t know you were eating a finger until it’s too late,” Ethan challenges. “I’d probably pick an arm or a toe.”

“A toe ? You’re sick,” Grant says.

“Says the guy who picked the book with cannibalism in it,” Liam grumbles.

“ Accidental cannibalism. Jesus. I don’t want to eat people.”

“Bet you want to eat something,” Ethan says, and Grant almost tackles him.

“We made it five minutes,” I say to Maverick. “That has to be a record, right?”

“It’s something.” He grins. “Maybe Grant will do some maturing at the All-Star Game. I don’t have a lot of hope for Ethan.”

“Who knows? Maybe he’ll surprise us.”

We go around the room, talking about the book and the parts we liked and disliked. A debate about stalking ensues, with Grant emphatically arguing there’s such a thing as good stalking, while Riley argues it could all be considered problematic. I’m the tiebreaker and award the win to Grant, noting that red flags in fiction are different than real life.

After a break for pizza, we roll into the discussion questions Maverick prepared. Another argument arises when we get into the topic of morally gray characters. Liam makes a good point about society only being able to function as long as there are people who aren’t totally good or totally bad that are able to sway in the needed direction when the time calls for it.

“Time for a vote on the spicy scenes.” Maverick grabs a pen and paper from Riley’s coffee table. “Who would be down to be the one blindfolded and have their hands tied up?”

I cough and reluctantly raise my hand in the air. My embarrassment lessens when Riley joins me, and the boys all cheer for us.

“Huddy’s been watching the ‘Juno’ positions.” Grant lifts his arms above his head and drops them against the wall behind him. “Have you ever tried this one?”

“Very funny.” I throw a pillow at him and laugh when it hits Ethan instead. “What are we reading next month?”

“A cowboy romance. A flight attendant spends the summer in a small town and falls in love with the grumpy trail guide.” Connor pretends to ride a horse. “Yee-fucking-haw.”

“Anyone have any final thoughts or opinions about this month’s book?” Maverick asks, and when everyone breaks off into smaller groups to have personal conversations, he rolls his eyes. “Fuck me, I guess.”

“Such a sensitive soul,” I tease, laughing when he flips me off. “I’m going to head out. Feel like walking with me for a few blocks?”

“In February when it’s cold as shit?” He shrugs and grabs his beanie off the coffee table. “Why the hell not?”

We say goodbye to the boys, escaping before Ethan can make a convincing argument for a game of strip poker. When we get out to the sidewalk, I shove my hands in my coat pockets.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you much lately. Everything good, Mavvy?”

“That’s on me. I’m sorry, man. When Emmy is in town, I want to spend all my time with her. I went a week and a half without seeing her last month, and it was torture.”

“You’re headed to New York for the All-Star Game, right?”

“Yeah. Em is giving a speech at the PWHL luncheon on Friday afternoon. On Saturday, she and Amelia Green, the associate coach for Denver, are hosting a clinic for a group of girls at Madison Square Garden before the skills challenge starts.” Maverick grins. “I’m so fucking proud of her.”

“She’s an icon, isn’t she?” I laugh. “Funny how things change. Remember when you thought she was a dude from Michigan because you didn’t research who she was before meeting her?”

“I’d take our first meeting back if I could. I hate that she ever thought I doubted her abilities as an NHL player when she’s out here proving herself time and time again.”

“She knows you respect her. We all do.”

“I’m glad.” He looks up at the sky and smiles. “How’s it going with Madeline after your terrible kiss?”

“Shut up.” I elbow his ribs and he shoves me away. “We’re good. Did I tell you I’m learning sign language?”

“No shit. Really?”

“Yeah. I want to be able to communicate with Lucy. I’ve been working with a student at Gallaudet University twice a week. Feels like the bare minimum, you know?”

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Mav asks, and I nod.

“I’m not supposed to, but I do. Maybe they’ll go away.” I shrug, wishing I wore a hoodie under my coat. “Maybe they won’t.”

There’s a deep pang of loneliness growing in my chest. It’s become familiar at this point. The ache of being alone when all I want is someone by my side.

It’s not resentment. It’s never resentment. I’m not unhappy other people are happy.

It’s fear and jealousy.

Jealousy that they have someone to come home to.

Fear I’ll never find it.

Jealousy they have someone who cares about their day.

Fear I’ll be left.

Again.

I already had a parent leave me. Girlfriends have walked away from the relationships we’ve had just as it was starting to mean something.

What’s next?

Spending the rest of my life by myself and missing out on what everyone else gets to have?

That sounds really fucking sad.

“Hey.” Maverick puts his arm around my shoulder. “You’re a catch, Huddy. Your person is out there, and you want to know the wildest fucking thing?”

I huff. My breath comes out like a wisp of smoke, and I can’t wait to hear. “What?”

“She’s trying to get to you right now. It’s just taking her a little while. Traffic, you know?”

“Wow. That might be the deepest thing you’ve ever said, Mav.”

“Want me to follow it up with a sex joke?”

“Quit while you’re ahead, dude.”

He laughs. “Fine. Look. I know being patient sucks, but it’s going to pay off in the end. I promise.”

“You’re right,” I relent.

“Holy shit. Say that again, Huddy. It’s music to my ears.”

I smirk and shove him off of me. “How are you and Em doing?”

“We’re good. I’m in it for the long haul with her, and we have options if things don’t pan out quite the way we want. We’ve talked about adoption, and we’re both more than open to it. We’ll see how the next few months go.”

“And you’re okay? I’m sure being away from her isn’t easy. Different schedules, different road games. Y’all are taking time for yourselves, right?”

I can’t imagine the pain they must be feeling, and saying hang in there sounds really fucking insensitive. I hated when people told me that after Mom passed, and sometimes hearing nothing was a hell of a lot easier to listen to than forced sympathy.

I remember the days when I couldn’t leave my bed. Maverick would come to my apartment, sit next to me on the comforter, and not say a word. He’d stay there for hours, only moving to bring me a bowl of soup that he hand-fed me so I could put something in my body.

“I’m… I’m not fine, but I’m hanging in there, you know? Being here with you all helps. Doing stuff like going to the All-Star Game helps. Just trying to stay positive,” he mumbles.

“I’m here,” I say. “No judgment. No questions asked. For anything.”

“I know.” He smiles my way. “And I’m glad.”

We stop outside my building, and I shiver. “Are you okay to get home? Want me to keep walking with you? You didn’t have anything to drink tonight, right?”

“Nah. I’ll manage. And I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in months. Not my jam anymore.”

“I’m proud of you, Mav. Not for the not drinking part, even though that’s great. For all the other stuff. When the time comes, you’re going to be the best dad. Your kid is going to be so fucking lucky.”

“Future starting center at Michigan, even if we have a girl. Especially if we have a girl. We’re going to break all the fucking glass ceilings, just like her mom,” he says before grabbing my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. “Look at us. Two fucking simps for our women. You taught me right, Huddy.”

I laugh and squeeze him. “Stop. I don’t have a woman. You’ll let me know when you’re home?”

“Yeah. I will.”

“You’ll give Emmy a hug for me and let her know she’s my favorite of you two?”

“I always do.”

“Good.” I pat his shoulder and pull away. “Go get warm, Cap.”

With a grin and a tip of an imaginary hat, Maverick strolls down the sidewalk, whistling a tune. I nod to the doorman, grateful for the heaters in my building’s lobby. I wait for the elevator, pulling out my phone and finding a message from Madeline there.

Madeline

*Attachment: 1 image*

Had to send this to you.

I grin at the photo of Lucy curled up between Gus and Millie on the floor. All three are fast asleep with a blanket tossed over them, and I tap the screen to save the picture.

Me

So much for the beds we have for them, right?

Madeline

They’ve been like this for an hour. I haven’t moved from the couch because I don’t want to disturb them.

Me

Ah, to be young and fall asleep in random places.

Madeline

Are you on your way home?

Me

I’m downstairs, actually. Be up in a second.

Madeline

See you soon, BB.

I laugh and click off my phone. That pain in my chest loosens with every floor the elevator climbs. When I open the door and slip inside, finding the four of them exactly where I thought they’d be, it goes away entirely.

Home .