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FORTY-SIX

MADELINE

There are so many things I like about Hudson, but one of my favorite things is when he turns commanding and desperate, raw and achingly hot. A touch unhinged and possessive over me.

He holds his cock in front of me, and I lick my lips. I can’t believe we haven’t done this yet, and that’s a testament to Hudson’s patience. An ode to him letting me be the one to control the physical parts of our relationship.

That makes me want him even more.

I take him in my hands and drag my thumb down his length, eager for him.

I can’t get over how big he is, but it never feels overwhelming.

It feels like we’re the perfect fit.

“Do you like this?” I run my tongue over the tip of his shaft. I lick up the pre-cum I find and tilt my head so I can have a better angle. “Or is it not your jam?”

“I-I’ve always liked it.” Hudson swallows, and it’s like he’s embarrassed to admit it. He bites his sweat-soaked shirt and separates his feet so his stance is wide. “I always feel like an ass asking for it, though. I can’t imagine it’s very fun for you.”

“I think it’s fun.” I hollow out my cheeks and suck on him, getting him halfway in my mouth. “It makes me think I’m in control. Because when I do this—” I cup his balls with one hand and grip the base of his cock with another, twisting it, and he groans. “I know you’ll do anything I ask.”

“ Fuck . Yes. I will.” He bobs his head. “Can you try to take me again? So we can see how deep I can get?”

I adjust my position on the bed, and he stands between my legs. I stifle a groan when he strokes his fingers down my jaw. I melt under his touch when he moves his hand to my neck and tips my head back.

I thought I was supposed to be the one in control, but here I am, close to begging him.

“Go slow,” I tell him. He smiles and drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “Six years, remember?”

“I remember.” He strokes my hair, carefully bringing my head to his length. “I’ll be gentle, and I’ll stop before you gag.”

“What if I want to gag? What if I want it to be messy?”

“Then make a mess of me, Maddie,” he says with a low voice from the depths of his chest. “Please.”

He rests the head of his cock on my tongue. I lick the tip, tasting his saltiness. I hum when he steps closer to me, and soon half his shaft disappears in my mouth.

I put a hand on his thigh. My fingers dance across his skin until I reach his balls again. When I fondle them, learning their heaviness and weight, he thrusts forward until my mouth is at the root of his cock.

Tears spring to my eyes, but I fight through them.

“Good. So good,” he murmurs with a tone of awe. “Can you stay there for a second?” When I nod, his palm moves between my legs. He touches me, finding me wet, and he hums. “You like this, don’t you? You like when I use you.”

I nod again, white-hot pleasure building at the base of my spine. I’ve never been turned on while giving a blow job before, but there’s something about Hudson’s words that fuels a fire in me.

“I’m not going to come in your mouth today,” he tells me. “Next time we do this, though, I want to watch you swallow.”

Heavens .

I want that too.

I do my best to convey it to him by bobbing my head. By licking at him, sucking and using the hint of my teeth when I add my hand.

My mouth and palm work in tandem to find the perfect rhythm that makes Hudson’s grunts turn rough and sharp.

Drool hangs from my mouth, and he wipes it away with his thumb. When I take him deep again, he tugs on my hair. He pulls me off him and reaches for his bedside drawer.

“Want to fuck you,” he mumbles, voice thick with lust. “From behind.”

“Are you an ass man?” I roll onto my stomach and push up on my knees. I rest my elbows on the sheets, my legs spread wide. “Is that your favorite part of me?”

“When we’re in bed? Yes. But it doesn’t hold a candle to your smile.” I look over my shoulder and find him sliding the condom over his cock. “This way I get to see the parts of yourself you say you don’t love. The cellulite, the stretch marks. You don’t have to like them, Maddie, but I’m fucking obsessed with them. I’ll worship them for both of us.”

God .

I’m terrified one day I’m going to wake up, and this will all be a dream. The happy fog that’s blanketed my life will get pulled away, because what kind of man says those things and means them? What kind of man makes me feel so fucking beautiful while he’s throwing a condom wrapper in the trash?

I’m convinced he’s the only one in existence. One of a kind, and someone I don’t want to let go.

“Fuck me, Hudson,” I whisper, and he grips my hips.

I glance over my shoulder, not wanting to miss a moment of watching him in all his splendor. He lines himself up with my entrance and presses a kiss to my shoulder blade. I exhale at the warm feel of his mouth, but it gives way to a moan. To a delighted exhale of a breath when he sinks inside me and fuses our bodies together.

We’ve done this so many times now, but I’m still not used to how good it feels.

“I might be addicted to you.” Hudson reaches around me and rubs my clit with his thumb. “I think about you all the time. I think about fucking you. About touching you. I can’t get you out of my head, Maddie. Haven’t been able to since I first met you.”

A thought enters my brain when he drives into me. It’s hazy, faraway and on the cusp of a fantasy, but it’s the most powerful dream I’ve ever had.

I could love him.

I could love him , and it would be perfect .

I think about him all the time, too. I miss him when he’s gone. I feel alive when he touches me.

Sparks flicker behind my vision when he moves his mouth to the back of my neck and breathes against my skin.

I could love him , but could I give him what he wants? What he deserves?

I squeeze my eyes closed and focus on the here and now. On the way he’s unrelenting with his thrusts. How he moves his hand up to my breasts, giving them a squeeze, before returning between my legs.

It’s like he doesn’t know where he wants to touch. My body is a blank canvas, and I’m ready to be his muse.

“Tight. Wet. Fucking perfect.” He groans. “Mine.”

That word sends a rush of adrenaline through me. I moan when I slam back on his cock, wanting to prove I am his.

And he is mine, too.

“Are you doing math again?” I pant, and his laugh warms me from the inside out. “And if so, can you hurry up and solve the problem?”

“Gosh I like you.” Hudson loops an arm around my waist and pulls me up slightly. His fingers touch my chin, and his mouth is near my ear. “Open your eyes, Maddie.”

I blink, and I’m met with the reflection of us in the mirror hanging above his dresser. I gasp when I see my pink skin and messy hair. My entire body flushes when I notice a hickey on my neck and bite marks around my breasts.

“We look so good together,” I whisper, and he snakes his hand up my stomach to my neck. “Electric.”

“Perfect,” he supplies, eyes locked on mine. “I finished the math problem. Are you ready to come again, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart makes me think this thing between us could last forever.

Maybe it could.

“Yeah.” I lick my lips and drop my head into the crook of his neck. His hands roam all over my body, and I can’t get over how intoxicating his touch his. How hot we are together and how I like seeing us fall apart. “I’m there.”

“Me, too.” Hudson angles his hips and hits a spot inside me I didn’t know existed. Stars appear, and I groan when he finds it again. “So pretty when you fall apart.”

That’s all it takes for me to combust, and I tumble into a freefall. My body moves on its own, welcoming the orgasm and the blissful satisfaction he brings me.

“Hudson,” I whisper, watching him follow me over the edge.

His grip on me tightens and his legs convulse as he spills into the condom. He says my name, a mess of garbled vowels and syllables. When we settle down, our breathing returning to normal and our bodies cooled off, I reach behind me and stroke his hair. Sweat clings to my fingers, but I don’t care.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hi,” I answer. “You’re so wonderful.”

“You’re going to be my undoing.” He hides his face in my neck, the warmth of his skin against mine effervescent. Popped champagne bottles and a million fireworks. “My demise.”

Be gentle with me when you kill me , he said, and I hope I can be just as gentle with his precious heart.

With a final breath, I wiggle my hips and slip him out of me. We both mumble something at the loss of contact, and I flop onto my stomach. I feel high on the endorphins being with him bring me.

The mattress sinks beside me, and I turn my head.

Hudson removes the condom and ties it off. He winces and stretches over to toss it in the trash can next to the bed, letting out a sigh.

“Are you doing okay?” I scoot closer to him and trace over his stomach. His muscles flex under my fingers, and I smile. “Can I get you a water?”

“How am I more winded than you? I’m an elite athlete.” He exhales a slow release of air and grabs a blanket from the edge of the bed. He drapes it over my ass and wraps an arm around me. “You look like you could run a marathon. And after Pilates? You’re a goddamn superhero.”

“Are you kidding? My legs hurt, and it looks like there’s a bird living in my hair.”

He pulls on the tangled strands with a smile meant for only me. “Still beautiful.”

I blush, the compliment feeling far more intimate than what we just did. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Making me feel appreciated and wanted.”

“I told you I’m addicted to you. It’s true.” Hudson draws a shape on my arm. He writes a few words and seals it with a kiss. He would be so easy to love, and I’m afraid I might be veering down that road. Racing toward it without any brakes. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“Of course you’re thinking about food right now,” I tease, my heart squeezing tight.

“Only because you rocked my world and I need to replenish all the calories I lost.”

“Nice save there, Hayes. I’m doing a tomato and feta pasta with a side of brussels sprouts.”

“Brussels sprouts? Dammit.”

“You don’t like brussels sprouts?”

“No. The last two times you put them on my plate, I’ve hidden them under a scoop of mashed potatoes to make you think I ate them.”

“Oh my god.” I sit up and look down at him. He’s grinning at me, a lazy, unhurried beam that hits behind my ribs. “You sneaky little asshole. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you and Lucy like them. I fake it so you can still eat them.”

“We can have them when you’re not here, knucklehead.” I grab a pillow and hit him on the side of the head. “My job is to make sure you’re eating a balanced meal, and I can’t do that when you’re hiding your vegetables from me like a child , Hudson Hayes.”

When I try to roll off the bed to get away from him, he grabs me by my waist. He pulls me close to his chest and laughs again. “I’m sorry. Forgive me, Maddie.”

“I’m mad at you, but I forgive you. What vegetable do you like?”

“Broccoli.”

“Broccoli it is.” I close my eyes and sigh. “I should get dressed. I have some chores I need to get done before Lucy’s back from school, and that means I need to get my ass moving.”

“How can I help?” Hudson yawns and rubs his eyes. “Tell me how I can be of service.”

“You can dig through the trash and show me how much food you’ve wasted by tossing out your source of vegetables.”

“I like when you make jokes after an orgasm.” He kisses me one more time and stands. I admire his naked body before he slips on a shirt and a loose pair of boxers. “But only because I like you, knife girl.”

He heads for the kitchen with a wink, and I’m left staring after him.

So easy to love.