Page 29

TWENTY-NINE

HUDSON

The week after Christmas passes with morning skates, an away game we easily win, a therapy session, and an afternoon delivering gifts to the local hospital.

Our fans donated toys at each of our home games throughout December, and getting to spend some time with kids who can’t be home for the holidays really puts a lot of things into perspective.

On New Year’s Eve, I sit next to Madeline on the couch and set a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

“Did you get Lucy to fall asleep?” I ask, tossing a kernel in my mouth.

“It took me forever, and you’re going to think I’m a horrible parent, but I did it. I pulled up a fake countdown on my phone and pretended it was midnight even though it’s only eleven forty-five,” she says.

“That doesn’t make you horrible. It makes you a goddamn genius. And it’s not too much of a lie. We’re only fifteen minutes away.”

“Thanks for the reassurance.” She pulls her legs to her chest and glances at the television. “New York on New Year’s Eve looks like an absolute madhouse. I don’t think I could do it.”

“No way. Standing in the cold and having to use an adult diaper? I’m all set.” I turn up the volume so we can hear the host give us the ten-minute warning until the ball drops. “Do you have any resolutions for the new year?”

“Wow, Bombshell.” She taps her cheek, contemplating. “You’re tossing me some hard hitting questions.”

“You don’t have to answer.” I shrug and take another bite of popcorn. “You’re allowed to have secrets.”

“I think I’d like to make more time for myself. Lucy is always going to be my number one priority, but I want to say yes to the things I want to do. That includes taking care of myself and knowing when to delegate some of my responsibilities to other people who are willing to help.” Madeline pauses and looks at me. “What are your resolutions?”

I like her resolution. It’s nice to hear her wanting to put herself first, and I’m going to make sure I’m ready to jump in if she needs me.

“My resolutions? I want to spend more time with my friends off the ice. I want to volunteer more at the animal shelter. I’d like to give away some of the resources I’ve been blessed with to people who deserve it.” I shrug and play with the throw blanket by my thigh. “The next one is stupid.”

She grins. “Does it involve dying your hair?”

“Fuck you.” I laugh and hit her in the face with a pillow. She yelps and launches one back at me. “I’m not dying my hair.”

“I couldn’t pass up the joke. Tell me your resolution. I promise I won’t make fun of you, especially with how selfless those other ones are.”

“I’d like to start dating again. I’ve always liked having a significant other, and I think this is the year I put myself back out there.”

“Why haven’t you been dating anyone?” she asks.

“Haven’t really felt like it after my last breakup. Plus, you and Lucy are here. Bringing someone else around is disrespectful.”

I don’t add the other part.

The admission that not a single woman has caught my eye, because I’ve been thinking about her lately.

Nonstop, really.

Wanting to touch her. Wanting to taste her. Wanting to wrap my arms around her and kiss her until she’s dizzy and forgets her name.

I’m not supposed to want those things. Wanting those things goes against everything I asked from her when she started working for me, and I’ve adhered to that boundary I put in place.

But as someone who’s always followed the goddamn rules, who’s always been so fucking good , thinking about something I can’t have makes me want her even more.

“Am I cockblocking you?” Madeline asks. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.”

“It sounds like I am.”

I grab my phone off the table. I unlock it, pull up Instagram, click on my message requests, and toss it her way. “Trust me.”

She frowns and looks at the screen. “What is this?’

“Proof you’re not cockblocking me. Hundreds of those messages are from women in DC. Hundreds more are from cities where I’m playing on a given night. If I felt like finding someone to date… someone to fuck… someone to pass the time with for a while, I could. And I haven’t wanted to.”

“‘ I’d like it if you spanked me, baby. Or I could spank you ,’” she reads, and she’s trying not to laugh. “Please don’t tell me that’s what all of these messages say.”

“I haven’t looked through them, but they might.”

“Damn.” Madeline grins. “You really are a bombshell.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious. You could have anyone you wanted. You’re like a pussy magnet,” she says, and my entire body heats when she says that word. “Does sliding into a guy’s DMs and making sexual comments actually work?”

“I don’t know. Some of the guys on the team like it. They’ve got a girl in every city.”

“It’s sad. All those prospects in your DMs, and you don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight. They’d be over here before the ball dropped if you asked, but you’re stuck with me.”

“I haven’t kissed anyone at midnight in a few years,” I admit. “Am I missing something good?”

“You’re asking the wrong person. I haven’t kissed anyone at midnight since before Lucy was born. I’m destined for another year of mediocre luck.”

The host gives us the three-minute warning, and I stare at Madeline from across the couch.

Feels like I’m always staring at her these days.

An hour ago, I was exhausted. Now, I’m buzzing with energy. Wide awake and willing to sacrifice sleep if it means hanging out with her.

She’s beautiful with her hair down and her silk pajama set. I’m not sure why I inch closer to her. I’m not sure why I get in her space, but I’m drawn to her like a magnet, and I can’t stop myself.

She jerks her chin to look at me. She tips her head back and inhales sharply. This close, I can see a hint of green in her eyes. More freckles across her nose than I thought she had, and there’s no world where I want to start the year with anyone but her.

“Madeline,” I murmur.

“Yeah?” she whispers.

“Maybe we should kiss,” I tell her, not fully knowing what I’m saying. But those lips… and the corner of her mouth… “To see if it brings us good luck.”

“You want to kiss me because you want good luck?”

“Yeah. But I also want to kiss you because I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.”

My eyes roam down the front of her shirt. I know she’s a woman with curves, but I’ve been careful never to look at her for too long.

I’m looking at her now, though, and I marvel at the way the silk hugs her chest. How it fuels my imagination as I think about what her breasts might look like. I’m sure as shit headed to hell for wanting to take her in my mouth and show her anything but mediocre .

Madeline’s movements are slow, tentative. She glances at the TV then back at me. “What else have you been thinking about?”

“You,” I say. “In every way I shouldn’t want you. In every way I can’t have you.”

The one-minute warning comes. Everything narrows down to her , and the careful way she puts a hand on my chest. How her fingers fan out over my shirt and she twists the cotton, pulling me toward her.

As if I wouldn’t go willingly.

As if I wouldn’t fucking crawl or run or climb a mountain to get there.

With thirty seconds to go, her nose brushes against mine. Her exhale is hot against my cheek. I want to feel it against my neck and on my stomach while her lips trail lower down my body. Around my cock as she blinks up at me with a coy smile before taking me in her mouth.

A thousand wicked thoughts race through my head, but I hold back.

I wait for her to tell me how this is going to go, because I’ll be damned if I ruin what feels like a fever dream.

“I’ve been thinking about you, too,” she whispers again.

The announcer counts down from five. He yells out one as music starts to play, but I barely hear him.

I’m too busy cupping Madeline’s face with both of my hands. Stroking her cheek with my thumb and listening to the shift in her breathing.

She’s so soft, and when she kisses the corner of my mouth, I whimper.

It’s torture—hell on earth—but when she huffs out a laugh at my patheticness and kisses me fully, I’m a lost cause.

A man gone, because she’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted, and once isn’t going to be enough.

A million fucking times won’t be enough.

It’s slow at first. A gentle press of her lips. A swipe of my tongue. Hesitant and learning, but after a minute, when I expect her to pull away, something shifts between us.

Our kiss turns hungrier, rougher, and my hands move from her cheeks to her hair. I wrap the long strands around my wrist, grounding myself to her. Madeline shifts so she’s closer. I lean back and pull her with me, her chest flush against mine as I drop my palm to her waist.

“Hudson,” she breathes out, and I pull away so I can kiss her neck. So I can suck on the skin above her collarbone, and she whines. “ Fuck .”

“Should I stop?” I ask.

She shakes her head. Grips my shirt even tighter and lets out a breathy moan when I drag my tongue up the column of her throat. She straddles me, one leg on either side of mine, and I know I’m hard. She knows I’m hard—painfully so—and every unintentional roll of her hips has my restraint wavering.

I curse myself for being patient, but none of the things I’m imagining make me a good man at all.

I’m thinking about her, without underwear on, sliding down my cock. How easy it would be to make her moan and how many fingers it would take to get her off.

I’m thinking about her mouth, about how well we’d fit together, and when I move my lips back to hers, it’s the most alive I’ve felt in fucking years.

A loud boom outside the living room window causes us to spring apart. The dogs bark at the noise. Madeline falls onto her ass between my legs. I see a red mark on her neck. Her shirt pulled to the side and swollen lips. A glassy, dreamy look in her eyes, and a hundred different ways I want her.

“What was that?” she asks, and her voice is thick with lust.

It’s how I feel, too, and I rest a hand over my lap to try to calm myself down. I’m not sure how well it’s going to work, because her nipples are pointed and hard against the thin material of her shirt. I can practically see the outline of them, and there’s so much more of her I want to explore.

“Fireworks,” I manage to say, and her eyes move to my gym shorts. I’m a horrible person for moving my hand away and letting her see the effect she has on me. I don’t want there to be a shred of doubt in her mind this is because of her. “They’ll probably go off for the next ten minutes.”

“Right. New Year’s.” Madeline touches her mouth and squeezes her thighs together. “I should—that was—thanks. Thank you. I-I think that will help with some good luck. It was very nice.”

Nice .

I don’t want her to feel nice .

I want her to feel like she’s on top of the damn world. Like she’s never experienced something so good, and I want to be the one to get her there.

“No problem,” I say. “Did you, uh?—”

“I should check on Lucy.” Madeline stands and fixes her shirt. She brushes her hair out of her face and keeps her attention on the floor. “To make sure the flashes of light didn’t wake her up.”

“Right. Yeah. Okay. I have morning skate, so I should—” I hook my thumb over my shoulder. “Head to bed.”

“Bed. Right.” She rolls her lips together. “I hope you sleep well.”

“You, too,” I say, because I don’t know what the fuck else I’m supposed to do.

“Good night, Hudson,” she says, and she practically runs down the hall toward Lucy’s room.

I climb off the couch and stare longingly after her for a beat before walking to my room and locking the door. I pace across the floor and dial Maverick’s number, waiting for it to ring.

“Hello?” he answers, sounding like he’s been asleep for hours. “Hud? You okay?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah.” Maverick yawns. “Emmy and I passed out around nine. What’s going on?”

“I did something, and I’m not sure if what I did was wrong.”

“Hang on.” There’s the rustle of sheets on the other side of the line and murmured words. “Sorry. Didn’t want to disturb Em. Talk to me, Huddy.”

“I, ah, kissed Madeline at midnight and?—”

“Whoa. What ? You did?”

“Yeah. Except… she ran away from me?” I pinch the bridge of my nose and sit on my bed. I make sure to keep my voice low. The walls are thin, and I don’t want Madeline to overhear me. “I kissed her, and she ran away from me.”

“What do you mean she ran away?” Maverick sounds more awake now, and I can hear his frown through the phone. “Are you a bad kisser, Hayes?”

“I never thought I was. She liked it, I think. That’s the impression I got based off—” I snap my mouth closed. I don’t want to share too many details. “Now I think she might regret it.”

“How long did the kiss last?”

“Um.” I scratch my ear and stare at the wall. “A few minutes?”

“And she was an eager participant?”

Those little noises of hers made it seem like she was an eager participant. So did the way she said my name and how she pulled me closer to her.

“Yes?” I say, but now I’m unsure.

“Dammit, Hudson. You’re not helping me here.”

“She kissed me first.”

“Now we’re talking. Sounds like she has feelings for you. Those feelings probably scare her because she doesn’t think she’s allowed to have them, and that’s why she ran away.”

I sigh and drop my head against the wall. “She’s… she’s become my favorite person in the world, and I’m confused because I don’t do stuff like this.”

“Stuff like what?” he asks.

“Kiss women I’m not dating.”

“Why did you?”

“I couldn’t help it. I’ve been thinking about her for goddamn weeks now, and it felt like the right moment to do it.”

“Wow.” Maverick chuckles. “You’re down bad, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” I put a pillow over my face and groan. “I might be.”

“I know you’re someone who likes to fix problems and make everyone happy, but this is an instance where you need to play it cool, man. Let her decide how you all interact. If that’s to pretend like it never happened, then so be it. You like her working for you, right?”

“Obviously.”

“Interrogating her about what went wrong is a surefire way to get her to leave.”

“I’d never do that. I just don’t want to mess anything up, you know?”

“You didn’t mess anything up, dude.”

“Maybe I am a bad kisser,” I mumble. “I don’t do hookups, and I get the impression she’s not looking for a relationship. I guess I need to write this off as a one-time thing that won’t happen again.”

“Sucks, Huddy. But never say never. Emmy told me the first time we hooked up it was only going to happen once. Now look at us. Happy as can be,” Maverick says proudly. “Married. In love and hopefully going to have a big family one day. That could be you all, too.”

“Yeah. Maybe,” I say, even though I don’t believe myself. “Thanks for listening to me, Mav. I appreciate you.”

“I’m always here.” Maverick yawns. “Except when I’m falling asleep standing up.”

“Go back to bed, old man. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Huddy Boy. Don’t kiss anyone else.”

I couldn’t even if I wanted to.