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FORTY-SEVEN

HUDSON

Madeline, Lucy, Gus, Millie, and I walk into Maverick and Emmy’s place for team dinner on Monday night. I unhook the dogs from their leashes and let them take off through the apartment. They stop and get head scratches from all the guys, and everyone cheers when they sprint after a tennis ball, ready to play fetch.

We’re in a rare stretch of the season where we have four days off in a row without any games, and it’s been nice to enjoy the extended downtime at home.

I’ve always preferred my own bed over a hotel, but I like it even more when Madeline sneaks under my covers once Lucy goes to sleep. Sometimes we have sex, but other times we stay up late talking, hours passing in what feels like seconds.

I’ll snap a blurry photo of her mid-laugh. She’ll rest her head on my shoulder and ask about my mom, allowing me to tell her about little pieces of my life before she showed up.

It’s natural now, this thing between us. How we hook our pinkys together in the kitchen while I’m helping her get dinner ready, the way she hugs me from behind and wraps her arms around my waist, kissing between my shoulder blades.

There was no hesitation in asking if she and Lucy wanted to join tonight. She even made a pot of carbonara to bring with us, thwarting all my attempts of trying to sneak a bite while she mixed the ingredients together earlier this evening.

“What’s up, Huddy Boy?” Grant calls out. “And hello, ladies. Welcome to your first team dinner.”

“ Hi ,” Madeline says, slipping into SimCom. “ Lucy is very excited to hang out with Ethan tonight. She’s hoping they can discuss the best condiments for hot dogs. ”

Madeline interpreted for me on the ride over while I watched Lucy’s handshapes in the rear view mirror, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm on Lucy’s face when she started signing about pickles.

“Easy E,” Grant yells. “Get your ass in here.”

Ethan walks out of the kitchen holding a slice of bread. He rips off a piece and pops it in his mouth, grinning at us. “You summoned me, lads and ladies?”

I pull my notepad out of my back pocket and chuck it at him. “Lucy wants your opinion on hot dog toppings.”

“ They are her favorite food, ” Madeline explains. “ I mentioned there was a player who liked them, too, and she was very excited to meet you. ”

“No way.” He shoves the rest of the bread in his mouth and wipes his hand on his shirt. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to ask me about hot dog condiment preferences. Do I, uh, just write on the paper?” Ethan fumbles with the spiral notebook, opening it. I think his hands might be shaking. “Sorry. This feels really important, and I don’t want to fuck—sorry, mess up.”

“Flip to the back and write there. And remember she’s a child ,” I emphasize. “No inappropriate conversations or drawings. I’ll kick your ass if you misbehave.”

“All right, Dad. You know I’ve been around kids, right? I helped you with summer camp in July.” He holds up the notebook, using it to cover his hand from Lucy’s view so he can flip me off. “I’m not totally inept.”

Ethan surprises me by walking over to Lucy. He squats and gives her a wide smile. She blushes and waves, a hint of shyness she doesn’t usually show coming through.

Hello, there , he scribbles in terrible handwriting. Mustard on hot dogs?

Lucy wrinkles her nose and shakes her head.

“She and I are going to get along just fine,” he tells us.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we can trust him alone with her for a few minutes if you’re okay with it,” I say to Madeline. “Do you want a drink?”

“A drink would be great.” She glances up at me, relaxed and wearing a smile. “Lead the way, Bombshell.”

I put my hand on the small of her back. She steps closer to me as we stop and say hello to some of the other boys on our way to the kitchen. Liam takes the pot of food from her, and Riley bombards her with a string of questions about Greek yogurt in recipes or if it’s all a scam.

Emmy, Piper, Lexi, and Maven pull her into their group when we finally snag a drink, and I’m left to check out the spread of food lining the counter alone.

“There’s my guy.” Maverick jumps in my arms, and I laugh when he spills half of my water on the floor. Gus and Millie are there to lick it up, and Mav dangles from my neck. “And you brought friends with you.”

“Ethan brought someone from Tinder last week, so I figured I’m allowed to have the people who are important to me join us.” I set Maverick down on his own two feet and lean against the wall. “Is that a problem?”

“Dude. Come on. Drop the tough guy act. You know I don’t care who joins us. I’m giving you a hard time. Besides.” His grin is knowing, a smart-ass comment on the tip of his tongue. “You’ve never brought a girl around the guys before. And here you are doing it twice in a couple weeks? You’re so fucked, Huddy.”

“That’s not true.” I frown, racking my brain. I try to think about the women I’ve seriously dated. The list isn’t extensive, but it’s more than a few people. “Shit. I haven’t?”

“Nope. I mean, you’ve brought them to the big stuff like the gala and charity events. But not something small like this where they could ask Madeline what your deepest, darkest secrets are.”

“I want them to know they’re part of my life. If we’re going to spend time together, I don’t want there to be a doubt in her mind how I feel about her,” I say.

“It’s pretty obvious how you feel about her, bro.” He clasps my shoulder. “Speaking of, have you shown her your sign language skills yet?”

“No. I’m waiting until I feel more comfortable, and I don’t know how I want to tell Madeline and Lucy. Do I break out into sign language mid-conversation? Do I start adding it in throughout the day until it’s obvious I know what they’re saying?”

“It’s too bad Christmas is so far away. That would’ve been a good gift.” Maverick rubs his jaw. “I say you mention you have a surprise, then show it off.”

“That’s probably the route I’ll take.” I pause and sip my water. “Madeline doesn’t want to get married again.”

I don’t know why I’m telling him this. Maybe because he’s full of advice lately, and I need someone to talk some sense into me.

“She was married before?”

“To a douchebag I’ll strangle if I ever meet. She’s against the idea now—rightfully so—and I’m trying to figure out what our endgame is if we want different things in life.”

“Oh, shit.” Maverick puts his hands together in front of him and closes his eyes. “It’s time the student becomes the teacher.”

I lift an eyebrow. “Why are you being weird?”

He takes a deep breath, then smacks the back of my head. “You are an idiot .”

“Ow, you fucker.” I wince, rubbing my hair. “What was that for?”

“Who gives a shit if she doesn’t want to get married? Look at me! I was so against monogamy, and now I’m wondering how I can order a fucking casket that fits two people so I can hold Emmy’s hand when we’re dead. Marriage isn’t the only path for relationships. You don’t need a piece of paper to love her, do you?”

“No, but?—”

“I’m not finished, Hayes. The teacher is still talking,” he says sharply, and I blink. “So there’s no ring and no wedding. Big fucking deal. You can spend decades together and be just as happy as any other couple who did get married. If she’s what you want, the other stuff doesn’t matter. Love is what you make it, dipshit.”

I glance across the kitchen at Madeline laughing at something Lexi is saying. Her shoulders shake, her eyes wrinkle. Her mouth splits into a beautiful grin, and holy shit .

I like her so fucking much.

It’s more than a physical attraction.

It’s more than a crush.

If someone were to try and get my deepest, darkest secret out of me, it would be how much I like her, how much I’m thinking I more than like her, but she’s not ready to hear it yet.

Doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.

Down the road, if we got to that point, if I’m lucky enough to have more years with her, I wouldn’t care about a ceremony or vows. I’d care about her.

Spending my days with her and Lucy and another set of dogs we rescue from the shelter. Jewelry wouldn’t matter, but how I feel when I’m around her would.

Like I’m coming home whenever she’s in my arms.

Like everything in life is finally right after being wrong for so fucking long.

My heart thunders in my chest. I’m surprised no one else can hear it. My palms are sweaty, and I wipe them on my jeans.

I know she likes me too, but there’s a big difference in a nice fuck kind of way and want to hang out for the rest of eternity ? kind of way.

We’re somewhere in the middle right now, that I enjoy your company , so let’s keep doing it way of thinking, but it’s so obvious I’m nearly in love with her, I can’t deny it anymore.

“You okay?” Maverick snaps his fingers in my face, and I blink. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m okay.” I down the rest of my water and notice Madeline heading my way. She makes a pit stop at the carbonara and adds a sprinkle of parmesan cheese to the top. “Better than okay.”

Maverick follows my gaze and smiles. “Amazing how they make us feel better, isn’t it? I’ll leave you be. Food starts in five minutes.”

Madeline slides up to my side and looks between me and Maverick. Her arm brushes against mine, and it’s silly how fucking giddy it makes me.

“Am I interrupting?” she asks.

“Not at all,” Maverick says. “Hudson and I were talking about whale populations.”

“Whale populations,” she repeats. “I didn’t know you had an affinity for zoology, Hayes.”

“It’s a recent development.” I nod to her empty wineglass. “Want a refill?”

“No, thank you. That was a heavy pour you gave me, and I don’t need to start stumbling.”

“We need you on two feet, Madeline. There’s a game of hide and seek scheduled after dinner, and the first group of people to be found have to eat a bit of the Jello monstrosity Ethan brought,” Maverick says. “It’s a biohazard, so I’d make sure you have a clear head.”

“Thanks for the warning.” She laughs. “I can’t wait.”

Lucy comes barreling into the kitchen. The dogs chase after her, and she’s dragging Ethan by the sleeve. When they get close, he throws the notebook at my shoulder.

“You’ve all been replaced,” he announces. “Lucy and I are best friends now.”

“ Did you figure out your favorite hot dog toppings? ” Madeline asks, and she nods when Lucy answers. “ Diced onions? Good choice, baby. ”

“She is so your daughter,” I say.

“If you ever need anyone to watch her, I’m happy to jump in,” Ethan says, and I gape at him. “What? Why are you looking at me like I have four heads, Hayes?”

“I’m impressed. Six months ago, I wouldn’t leave Gus and Millie with you. Now you’re a natural with kids and animals.” I pat his shoulder. “I guess everyone is bound to grow up eventually.”

“I’m a full-fledged adult. Hey, G-Money,” he yells. “Want to see how many grapes we can fit in our mouths?”

“And there we go. It was nice while it lasted,” I say, and Madeline giggles.

“It’s amazing how sweet everyone is with Lucy.” She strokes her daughter’s hair while Lucy kisses the dogs on the head. “I appreciate how no one treats her like a burden.”

“A burden?” I frown. I don’t like that word. “Why would they do that?”

“Because she communicates differently. It’s what people in the past have implied. Athletic coaches, her friends’ parents. The woman at the grocery store who said it must be such a challenge to raise a difficult child.” She sighs, disappointed. “It’s a shame, because Lucy isn’t a burden at all. She’s a regular kid, and more often than not it’s hearing people who don’t have the empathy and patience to make room for a style of life that’s different from theirs.”

“Listen to me, Madeline. If anyone ever says some shit like that to you again, I want you to come find me so I can give them a piece of my mind, okay? And if any of the players say it? I will have their asses shipped out to Alaska real fucking quick.”

Madeline chews on her bottom lip. She wrings her hands together, almost unsteady on her feet. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course I mean it. I’d go to war for your daughter. For you, too.”

“Why?” she whispers, and I think of a hundred ways I can answer that question.

Because I’m attracted to you .

Because I’m determined to show you there are good men out there .

Because it’s the bare minimum of what you deserve .

Because I’m fucking falling in love with you , and I’d let you break my heart if that’s what you wanted .

“Because y’all are mine.” I tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “And I protect what’s mine.”