Page 81 of Room to Breathe

“Hold the door!” he called.

I wiped my eyes and twisted the lock, then stepped out of the stall in time to see him grabbing hold of the door as Ava came in.

“You’re here!” she said, throwing her arms around Beau. “I saw your location on Snapchat last night and it hasn’t moved since.”

Caroline followed her inside, joining Ava in the hug. Theysmelled like campfire and roses. The first obviously from the bonfire last night; the second, Ava’s perfume.

Beau laughed a little, still gripping the door handle firmly, despite their tight hugs. “What time is it?” he asked as they released him.

“Noon,” Caroline said.

Noon? That was way later than I’d thought. How could it already be noon?

I gathered my things, throwing my sweatshirt, shoes, and binder into my backpack and collecting the locked phone bag off the counter. My movement must’ve drawn their attention because they turned my way. Caroline’s eyes widened; Ava’s narrowed. I lowered mine. I couldn’t see more hatred directed at me. I seemed to have spent all my defenses in the past twenty-four hours, leaving myself without protection.

I made it to the door, my escape, when Beau said, “Indy, please.”

“I can’t,” I said, and kept walking.

“Let her go,” Ava said, her voice expressing the pain and anger that Beau’s had at the beginning of our bathroom stay.

I walked to the drawers in the teacher’s lounge, freed a pair of scissors, and cut my phone out of the bag. It was a struggle, but eventually it was free.

Caroline mumbled something about how I’d get detention for that.

I threw the destroyed bag on the counter, grabbed a wrapped muffin off the tray on the table, and left. I powered my phone on to see that it was full of messages from my mom. I was screwed.

Chapter 34

Then

Winter Break was the loneliesttwo weeks of my life. Cody and his family went out of town and he only texted me twice. Once after I texted him Merry Christmas and once to send me a picture of a dead rat that his grandma’s cat had caught with the words:Sick, right?

I wasn’t sure if he meantcoolorgross.

Cody said nothing about the news story, which made me think he hadn’t seen it, and I didn’t feel like telling him. I had already had to start avoiding whispers (and more than whispers) at school.

My family didn’t do much for Christmas. It was a quiet morning of exchanging small gifts. We never had over-the-top Christmases. And this year, with everything, it felt even smaller than usual.

But I made it to January.

Cody was back and I was able to shut things out easier when he was around. We were sitting on the couch at his grandma’s house, watchingNew Girl.

“This week is both Ava’s and Beau’s birthdays,” I said. My mind had been wandering, not paying attention to the episode.

“What?” Cody asked.

The volume on the television was loud, and he didn’t turn it down.

“Ava and Beau. They have birthdays this week. Ava’s was yesterday and Beau’s is tomorrow.” Which meant today they would be doing the friend dinner we always did. In Between, we called it. The day their families couldn’t claim them for plans because it wasn’t their actual birthdays. Maybe they wouldn’t do it this year because I wasn’t there. Maybe it would feel weird to celebrate In Between without me. I was generally the one who organized it.

“Who?” Cody asked.

“My friends. Well, my…” I wasn’t sure what to call them anymore. It had been weeks since I’d talked to any of them. “People.”

“Your people?” he asked. The television was still blaring and we were both having to yell to converse. I picked up the remote and pressed pause. He must’ve thought that meant we were making out now, because he leaned in. That’s what it usually meant. Press pause, make out. I’d Pavlov-ed him without realizing it, apparently. This time I put my hands on his chest, stopping our lips from touching. He backed away, obviously confused.

“I just wanted to talk without the television on for a minute.”