Page 53 of Room to Breathe

“Are you mad at me?” she asked in a soft voice.

“What?”

“You seem angry,” she said.

“I’m mad about my book.”

“Not just today,” she said.

“Well, I lost it a while ago.”

She held my stare, challenging me, but I dropped my gaze first, unable to face her hurt. Knowing I was causing it, but not knowing how to douse the anger that had felt like a constant presence since Thanksgiving break.

“Maybe it’s at Beau’s house.” Ava was looking over my shoulder.

I turned to see Beau walking toward our table, hand in hand with Harper.

“Did Indy leave her calculus book at your house?” Ava asked when they reached us.

“Youactuallylost it?” he asked.

I nodded, my stomach tightening. We hadn’t talked since I’d copied off his test a few days ago. Well, we’d talked, but we hadn’t talked aboutthat.We walked out of class side by side that day and I’d tried to find words to explain what I’d done. Why I’d done it. There were none. At least none I could say in the middle of school. None I hadn’t told my mom I wouldn’t say. So I said nothing.

Now I looked at him with pleading eyes, as if to saythiswas part of the reason—my missing book.

But he was avoiding my stare. “I haven’t seen your calc book,” he said.

“Okay,” I said.

“Neither have I,” Harper offered.

“Cool,” I said, with the same snarky edge to my voice that I was unable to shake. Beau shot me narrow eyes.

I should’ve said sorry. Instead I stood without having eaten anything and muttered something about checking lost and found. And I did check lost and found, in the main office. It wasn’t there. I could’ve gone back to my friends, eaten the lunch I’d packed or that bag of Cheetos I’d left on the table, but I didn’t.

I went to where I knew Cody hung out…when he was at school. I hadn’t seen him today. But as I was approaching the football field and the big square of asphalt just outside of it, I saw him standing at the bottom of a flagpole with a couple of people. They were staring up, and when I followed their gaze to the top of the pole, I saw a backpack tied up. That’s when I noticed that one of the people standing there was arguing with Cody. It was obviously his backpack that had been taken prisoner and hoisted to the sky. Cody and the other guy were just laughing. I was surprised a teacher hadn’t told them to stop. Cody seemed to do whatever he wanted, I was learning, with no care in the world. I wondered how that felt. To not be constantly stressed about grades and rules and parents.

“Cody!” I called when I was within shouting distance and he still hadn’t noticed me.

All three of the guys looked over. A wide smile formed onCody’s face and he sauntered toward me, hopping onto his skateboard in the process. He was coming fast, directly in my path. I tried not to flinch or move as he got closer. I wondered if this was a game of chicken when he didn’t deviate either. My heart picked up speed, but I held my ground. And finally, at the last second, he put his foot down. The board bumped into my ankle. It stung a little, but not too bad. He was wearing a green pair of Converse with a hole in one toe. I could see his white sock poking through.

“Hey,” he said.

Behind him the backpack guy was lowering his bag with a few choice cuss words in Cody’s direction.

“Did I or did I not give you my phone number?” I asked, crossing my arms.

He tilted his head and his eyes crinkled with a smile that didn’t quite reach his lips. “You did.”

“And yet you haven’t used it.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, typed something onto the screen, and then tucked it away.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I checked it. I hadn’t saved him in my phone, so it was just a number. But the message read:Your cute.

I tried not to focus on the incorrect grammar. That would make me a snob. It was just a text. There were typos in texts all the time. I wasn’t a perfect texter.

I typed back:Then you should kiss me.