Page 36 of Room to Breathe

“Yeah, well, we’re not anymore,” I said when he couldn’t finish any of his sentences. Now there was nobody. I’d spent the past couple of weeks at school utterly alone. And home wasn’t much better. Maybe it was even worse.

“I haven’t seen you around,” he said.

That’s because I’d been sitting in my car during lunch. The car I really shouldn’t own, because even though I’d ended up saving the amount my parents required of me, I didn’t have much to contribute on a monthly basis anymore. Which left the burden on my parents. A burden that was heavier than it had once been. When I quit the tutoring center, my intention was to find a new job, but I hadn’t yet. I needed to. Maybe I could be a bagger at the grocery store. I’d seen a help wanted sign in their window last week. “I’ve been around,” I said.

“Have you seen me?”

“I try to avoid you, Beau.”

“Yeah…” he said, as if he just now remembered exactly what had happened in December. That he wasn’t the only one with a legitimate reason to be mad, no matter how much he acted that way.

Chapter 16

Then

“Hey, Indy, we’re going,” Momsaid, coming into my room with a short knock. I was looking under my bed for the textbook I hadn’t been able to find since that fateful day last week. The day that nobody in my house was talking about. The one we were all just pretending didn’t happen. But I couldn’t forget. My body kept reminding me in my sleep. I woke up often to loud banging sounds only real in my dreams.

My dad hadn’t been into work. I’d heard him making calls, presumably to clients, from his home office, talking about taking some time off due to Thanksgiving, but thateverything was progressing just fine.

I thought they might disagree if they had been standing on our porch a week ago. I’d spent hours Googling Dad’s law firm and staring at the smiling faces of his partners, wondering who the liar and thief was. Because obviously it was one of them. If I’d been able to talk to my friends about this, we would’ve figured this out, analyzed their features and expressions and bios, and determinedwho our lead suspect was. It might’ve helped me to make light of this whole situation. Instead it felt the opposite of light. It felt so heavy.

The internet was just as silent about what had happened at my house that day as my parents were. I couldn’t believe this hadn’t made the news. Maybe because the FBI hadn’t found anything yet. If charges were brought, this wouldn’t stay a secret. Then I’d be able to talk about it with somebody, wouldn’t I? But if that was the reason I’d be able to talk about it, then I didn’t want to. Maybe they’d find nothing on anyone and we could all just pretend our way back to normal.

“Going where?” I asked now, sitting back on my heels without my book. We were going to have a test the day we got back to school after break and I hadn’t studied at all. At least I thought we were going to have a test. I couldn’t remember.

“To Thanksgiving dinner at the Eubanks’,” she said with a smile. It wasn’t her real smile, but it was pretty good.

I blinked in surprise. That dinner started in fifteen minutes. Yesterday she’d told me that we weren’t going. I hadn’t seen any of my friends since the incident. I’d skipped school last Friday and turned down a hangout on the first Monday of vacation. Nobody thought anything of it.

I crawled over to my backpack and pulled out my binder, then flipped to the calculus section. Yes, we had a test. Could I get by on just the classroom notes I’d taken? I flipped back through the pages.

“Okay?” Mom said.

“What?” I asked.

“The Eubanks’? For dinner.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because we need to get out of the house.”

I wondered if she meant me or my dad, because Mom had been out of the house. She went to work every day.

I looked at her. She was ready—clothes, hair, makeup. She looked good. I was still in my pajamas. I hadn’t taken a shower yet. Had I taken one yesterday? “We didn’t make anything to contribute,” I said. “Did we even let them know we were coming?”

“We were invited,” she said. “It will be good for us.” With those words she left my room.

I sighed and went to the bathroom to get ready.

My mom held a bottle of red wine and transferred it from one hand to the other nervously as we stood on the porch. I could tell Dad liked this idea as much as I did—in that he didn’t like it at all, felt like we were intruding. There were lots of cars in front of the house, and I wasn’t sure if more people made things better or worse. I remembered here on the porch that one of those cars would be Beau’s grandpa’s, and I knew we should just turn around and leave. We should’ve dressed up even more than we had, brought something nicer to contribute, stayed home.

The door swung open and Mrs. Eubanks smiled in greeting. She wore a deep burgundy dress and heels. Her lips were the same color as the dress, and her hair was styled into stiff waves. “Hello,” she said. “Come in.” I could not tell from her expression if she was surprised to see us or not. She was very good at appearances.

“Thank you,” Mom said, handing her the bottle as we steppedinside. My mom was also in a dress, but she seemed ready for Sunday service, while Mrs. Eubanks seemed ready for a gala. “Sorry we’re late.” She put her hand on my shoulder with those words, and I wasn’t sure if that was a conscious or subconscious gesture indicating who made us late. It wasn’t my fault she gave me fifteen minutes’ notice. I’d managed to put on a long skirt and fitted tee, but I wore my Converse. I wondered if I should take them off, like I normally did, and leave them by the door. There were no other shoes there today, though.

“It’s okay,” she said. “We’re just barely getting started.”

I’d been in the Eubanks’ house plenty, but my parents weren’t frequent visitors, so they waited for Mrs. Eubanks to lead the way.