Page 75 of Room to Breathe

“I had to retake twenty tests in a two-week time period. All because of six questions. I didn’t have time to prepare for them. I couldn’t replicate the grades I’d gotten before. Back when I studied for them. My GPA is destroyed.”

“So you’re notactuallysorry you cheated, like you said earlier?”

“Iamsorry I cheated. But I still don’t think you should’ve turned me in for it. You should’vetalkedto me.”

“I tried to talk to you. You shut everyone out. Except Cody.”

I shook my head and stood, my back sliding up the wall behind me. “Cody wasn’t in. He was just a distraction. A way not to feel anything.”

“You used him?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re defending Cody now? After everything you just said about him?”

He was quiet. He was still leaning against the counter, and I was against the opposite wall. There were at least seven steps between us, but it felt like a hundred.

“Oh, right,” I said in realization. “This isn’t about Cody. It’s commentary onmycharacter.”

Beau closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You just want to pretend nothing happened? Make out some more? Pretend you didn’t abandon me during the hardest time in my life?”

“I didn’t know!” he said, an ache in his voice. “I wish I’d known.”

“You didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt, assume something was going on,askme if something was going on, and that was the hardest part.”

The muscle in his jaw jumped. “And whenyoufelt cornered, you threw me and my relationship under the bus. You know what really happened that night with Lucy!”

“I know!” I dug my fingers into the hair by my temples and pressed against my head, trying to relieve the tension that was building.

“Why did you do it?” he asked.

I dropped my hands back to my sides. I’d been asking myself the same question for the past couple of months. Why had I done it? Because I didn’t like Harper? But I did. Because I didn’t like Harper forhim? We’d already established that was true. But maybe it was more. Maybe I’d been trying to come between them because of my feelings. Not that it mattered. We’d both blown up any chance to explore those. We hadn’t even been able to maintain our friendship.

“Are you still pining over her?” I asked. “You want me to talk to her for you? To tell her you want her back? That you didn’t doanything wrong? I’ll talk to her.” Because he really didn’t do anything that a reasonable explanation wouldn’t take care of. Some girl forced a kiss on him when she was drunk and he thought it was better not to tell Harper. He probably didn’t want her sister and her sister’s friend to have a falling-out. I knew about falling-outs; they weren’t fun.

“No, I don’t want you to talk to her,” he said.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t.Youshould. You want me to help you with a game plan? A way for you to convince her to hear you out?”

“No.”

“Did you tell her what happened? How you were just trying to help? How you didn’t want Lucy to drive drunk?”

“It’s about more than that night.”

“What’s it about? I’m sure I’ll know what she needs to hear.” My hands were clasped and I realized I was pleading. I dropped them back to my sides.

“She won’t hear anything,” he said. “She felt threatened during our whole relationship.”

“By what?”

“By a lot of things, but mostly that I was best friends with three girls. She thought I was hiding feelings for one of you.” Our eyes locked for several breaths.

I pursed my lips. “That’s a hard one. What have you tried?”

“Indy, I haven’t tried anything.”

“You haven’t? Well, that’s the problem. You have to do something big. Something that will make her realize you still care. She’ll take you back.”