Page 35 of Room to Breathe

I wasn’t sure how long I was there, in a daze, but what brought me out of the trance was the sound of wheels on concrete to my left. I looked over to see a newly arrived skater riding down the path.

He paused next to me, one foot on the board, one on the sidewalk. “Praying mantis.”

My eyes traveled from his skateboard to his face. “Cudy,” I said.

“You know that’s only an inside joke if I’m in on the joke,” he said.

I gave a breathy laugh. “It’s an inside joke with myself and I’m okay with that.”

“An inside joke with yourself?” he repeated. “I like it. I’ll have to get a few of those.”

I pulled my foot up on the bench with me, hugging my knee to my chest. “I’m sure you already have some, you just don’t realize it.”

He nodded, then looked around. “You come here to see me?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Had I? I didn’t hang out at the skate park, but I’d obviously seen it before and maybe my subconscious thought I would run into him.

“You don’t think so?” he asked, rolling his skateboard closer to me and then pulling it back toward him.

“I’m not really thinking much this morning.”

“Welcome to my world,” he said with a sly smile.

“Is it a good world?” I asked, needing to feel some sort of hope right now.

“The best.” With those words, he threw me another smile over his shoulder and dropped into the course.

Chapter 15

Now

Maybe I wouldn’t need towrite a character letter at all. We were supposed to find out any day now if they’d discovered anything in those boxes they took out of the house, or in the three-hour-long questioning they’d had with him. He’d come home that day exhausted.

Maybe there was a text waiting on my phone right now that would tell me everything was fine. That I didn’t have to write a letter after all. That I didn’t have to try to pretend everything was good between us. Or maybe there was a text waiting that said my letter was crucial. That he needed all the help he could get. That without it he would seem even harder to trust.

I pressed my palms against my temples, trying to force more memories to the surface.

There was that time we ran out of gas in the car and Dad and I walked three miles with a gas can because he couldn’t get ahold of Mom. It hadn’t felt like three miles. We played I Spy the whole time. I won. He probably let me.

I sighed, my eyes burning. If Beau and I were in a better place, I could talk to him right now. Let everything out. Maybe it would help me feel better. Clear up my mind for some memories of my dad. Or maybe it would just bring up more anger.

Beau had been quietly seething on the counter ever since he asked about Cody. I wondered if he was actually reading. If he was ready to get out of this bathroom, away from me. Then we’d never have to talk again.

“We broke up,” I spit out.

His eyes snapped to mine. “What?”

“Me and Cody. We broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Nice,” I muttered.

“No, I don’t mean…he just wasn’t…you two weren’t…”