Page 9

. . .

No. No. No.

My eyes wander over one of the two new banners that are being hung outside the football stadium that is adjacent to the hockey arena.

My heart hammers in my chest while my stomach is twisting in knots.

I heard the rumors; I saw the many different news segments but stupidly, I still didn’t believe it.

I couldn’t believe that The Hawke Sheppard had left the University of Texas after almost three years as the football team’s star quarterback, so that he could transfer to Michigan.

Why?

That’s the main question on everyone in the college sports universe's minds. It’s the big question they discussed on ESPN and all over social media, and it is the hottest gossip on campus.

Now, with my own eyes, I could see that it’s real.

Hawke’s beautiful face is hanging across the football stadium.

He proudly wears the school’s colors. His green eyes are fierce and his lips wear a hint of a cocky smile.

I have been a pile of nerves all day after Jax and some of his friends from the team were talking about the big change happening today for the football team, and one of the guys even mentioned that they saw Hawke on campus.

He was with his friend, Riggs Griffin, who also ended up transferring to Michigan, and they are already a hot commodity around campus.

Of course they are. I just bet that they aren’t short volunteers to introduce them to the campus.

That jealous little thought pops into my brain and I squash it quickly.

I have no hold over Hawke, and if I’m honest, I haven’t in a really long time.

I don’t know why I’m nervous or why I didn’t even finish my lunch because my heart felt like it was lodged in my throat.

I didn’t need to hear Jax’s conversation earlier to follow along with the narrative that's been talked about all day across campus either.

Upset in the sports world.

Texas feels blindsided.

There’s already talk about him entering the draft after this year.

It’s hard to compute that the man who was dead set on going to Texas to play football had suddenly transferred.

My stupid heart flutters every time I think about it, wondering if it’s because of me.

It’s been almost two years since prom night, when I saw Hawke last. I can’t forget the look of betrayal he wore when I told him my plan was not to go to Texas anymore.

He can’t be here because of me, right? That's insane and over the top to even believe that a man like Hawke Sheppard would uproot his life like that.

Now seeing the evidence right in front of me, makes my stomach roll and blood rush in my ears. I need to move and get away from the sight.

“Where you going, baby?” Jax reaches out, his hand gentle on my wrist. We walk to practice together most days, sometimes by ourselves or with a group. Never during any of these times though has my ex-boyfriend’s face been plastered on a building in front of us.

I nod toward the arena door. “Practice. I thought I’d get there early.”

Jax’s eyes search mine and I start to panic, thinking he’s going to interrogate me. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight, right?”

“Ah, maybe. I have that paper due on Friday so I should probably work on it some more.”

There's a flash of irritation in his eye, but it quickly disappears as he lets go of my wrist. “Breakfast tomorrow then?”

My stomach twists and I hide my grimace. “Yeah, sounds good. I gotta go.”

Spotting Riley and Sam across the walkway, I wave him off and run to catch up with my friends.

“How’s loverboy doing now that your ex is on campus?” Riley asks, her lips curving into a smile that reads nothing but trouble.

Guilt slams into me hard. I hadn’t even thought about that.

Jax has no idea that once upon a time, back in high school, I dated Hawke.

We rarely talk about our past relationships, mostly because he never dated seriously and was a playboy and I always felt my relationship with Hawke was too private.

I didn’t want to share any of the details with Jax.

“Jax doesn’t know about Hawke,” I tell them. My teeth worry my bottom lip when both of them exchange a look.

“You never had the conversation?” Sam asks, her voice filled with worry for me.

“There isn’t a conversation to have. He knows I dated someone and I know he’s dated several people. I just didn’t mention Hawke’s name because there was no point.” I shrug and glance between the two of them.

Riley’s eyes widen. “No point? Emmarys, don’t you think it's odd that the NCAA’s best college quarterback suddenly drops his position from the number one school to move to Michigan? Not that we aren’t holding our own here, but the caliber has been set higher there with Hawke on their team.”

“It is weird. I get it, but you can’t honestly think it has to do with me?” My mouth drops open at how absurd it sounds in my mind yet my heart races with other ideas.

“Emms, I hate to break it to you, but I’m with Riley on this one.

I think Hawke being here has everything to do with you.

” Sam reaches out and places her hand on my shoulder.

“Think about senior year and how he showed up to your prom because he promised he would take you and he wanted to fix things with you when he wasn’t under his grandfather’s roof.

He thought you were going to Texas once you graduated. Now he’s here, again, where you are.”

“We haven’t talked in almost two years.” I shake my head at both of them. “You’re wrong.”

Riley sighs and her hand links with mine. “Emma, trust me, Hawke being here is about you. So if you haven’t told Jax he’s your ex-boyfriend, you might want to make sure he knows and soon. These Saints boys don’t mess around.”

Riley’s words hit hard and once again my stomach swirls.

Things with Jax are relatively new. After a few dates last year, we decided to be casual.

It wasn’t until right before the school year ended, right after spring break, that I decided to actually date him officially.

He’s only held the title of my boyfriend for five months.

Things are going well and he’s been respectful that I want to take things slow.

After losing my virginity to Hawke, I haven’t been able to have sex with anyone else.

Not that I don’t want to. Jax is hot and he’s a very talented kisser, but anytime his hands roam too far over my body, my heart revolts.

It's not fair considering, once again, there were no promises made between Hawke and me.

For my own sanity and my pride, I can’t believe that he’s here for me now.

After prom night it took weeks for me to go back to my new normal.

I was worried constantly, and on edge waiting to see what would happen.

Eventually, I realized nothing was changing.

Hawke was a long time off from his birthday at the time so I picked myself up.

I put my shattered heart back together and decided the memory was worth it, but I won't let Hawke walk all over me again. He has his family and his image to worry about. I want to enjoy my college experience. This year I’m living next to campus in an apartment with a few girls on the hockey team.

Our team ended last season on a good note and this year we’re determined to win a national championship.

My friends are all together again and I have Jax.

I have a boyfriend who has been waiting for me for a year to be ready to date him.

He understands hockey and the busy schedule.

We have fun, and like I said, he is a good kisser.

Not as good as Hawke…

My lips turn into a frown at the thought and I quickly push it away.

I will not keep thinking of him. I refuse to fall into my old habits of obsessing over a guy who is untouchable.

Jax may be flirty in nature and I knew going into the relationship that he had a history of not being in a long term relationship before, but he’s nice, he’s supportive and he makes me laugh.

When I am with him, I forget my heart is cracked and bruised.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” I tell my friends and I see the apprehensive look on their faces.

Sam squeezes my arm reassuringly though, and we keep walking to the arena for practice.

My brain continues to whirl with the thoughts that have been put in my head from my friends and at the same time I’m almost nauseous about how I will explain things to Jax.

I’m so absorbed in this dilemma that I miss the way people are stopping in their tracks, and how their mouths are dropping open in awe.

I almost miss the way the air seems to thicken and my skin starts to heat with the feeling of being watched, stalked like prey.

I’m completely unaware until I hear it. A voice that's deep, gritty, and soaked with southern charm…

“Hey, sugar.”