Page 39

In the next instant, his doors slam, and before I can take another step away from the truck my body is caged in against the side.

Six foot four inches of pure, male hardness is pressed against me.

Hawke still smells faintly like grass under the scent of his clean soap he uses in the shower.

His fingers grab my chin and force my eyes up to his.

“You do get a say. You get a say in which color towels for the bathroom, or if we should rent or buy our first year. I want you with me, Emmarys. Wherever I end up, I need you there.”

His words make heat spread across my chest despite the chill in the air. Small flakes of snow are starting to fall and getting caught in Hawke’s hair. “After dinner. We’ll talk after dinner.”

He smiles and it’s one of those smiles that gives him that almost boyish charm.

The smile that is so different from the wicked grins he gives when he’s between my thighs or when he’s telling me how he’ll never let me go.

I love both of his looks: the intensity in his icy green eyes and the softness in them while he looks at me.

Hawke drops a kiss to my lips and takes my hand in his. “Bet on it.”

We walk together into the restaurant and find the table easily.

Our meal is spent chatting about Falcon’s experience at Texas University, about how his mom’s part-time job at a local boutique is going as well as the charities she runs.

No one mentions Hawke’s grandfather and for now it's probably best. I hope that someday they can take steps to have a healthier relationship, but I won’t pressure Hawke to do so.

The food is good, the discussion is entertaining and when it's time to have dessert, I realize that I’m sad Hawke’s family is leaving tomorrow already.

If Hawke has any feelings about it, he doesn’t let them show.

He’s the loving brother and son and they all make me feel like I’m a part of this family. I like that. I want it forever.

Hawke stands when they need to leave and I do too. I hug his momma and his brother and I watch as they hug and make plans to meet up over the holiday season.

“Will we see you then, Emma?” Falcon turns to me.

I meet Hawke’s gaze and he reaches for me. “We’ll both be there, Fal.”

His momma beams while the boys do their usual fist bump and half hug. Hawke’s arm slides around my waist, and we watch them leave. He leans down and runs his lips over my temple.

“I said we should talk after they left, but now all I want is to take you home.”

“We could talk at home,” I reply, turning in his arms.

“If I get you to myself at home, the last thing we’ll be doing is talking. We need this,” he says, bending down to kiss me before grabbing our coats. “Let’s walk out onto the dock.”

I follow him, my hand grasped in his warm one.

It's not chilly enough for gloves yet, but even if it were, Hawke's hands always keep mine warm. The dock is lit up with strings of lights that make it easy to see as we make our way down to the bench at the end. Across the lake there are specks of light from homes and stores. The lake itself isn’t quite frozen over yet but it’s glassy, black and endless.

“So, does coming to see my family over the holiday season scare you?” He breaks the ice and when I turn to look at him, of course, he’s already watching me.

I shake my head. “No. I’m not sure how it will be with your grandfather, but I really like your mom and Falcon.”

His lips turn up and his gaze moves ahead. “They like you too. I’m not sure what my grandfather’s plans are for the holidays. I plan to avoid him if necessary and if he insists on being there, I’ll ignore him if he can’t be civil.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought about it.”

His shoulders shrug. “I refuse to be out of Momma and Fal’s life just because he’s around. I ruined his plan and I escaped. That's all that matters to me.”

I squeeze his hand between both of mine. “You’re a strong man, Hawke. Kind, fierce, loyal, and I love how much your family means to you.”

He stops walking and turns me to face him before taking my face in his hands and kissing me. His lips are soft, the kiss demanding. “Fuck. You can’t stay stuff like that, Em. Not when I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.”

I laugh and bury my head against his chest, loving it when his arms wrap around me. “What is so serious? I’m sorry, I can’t help but tell you how amazing you are.”

I glance up and he’s looking down at me, his eyes darkening and so full of emotion. “Anytime I mention the future you shut down on me. I need to know where you’re at, Emma. I want you to know how serious I am about you and about us.”

My back stiffens and I feel the smile slide off my lips. “Are you sure it isn’t too soon to talk about this?”

“That...” He bends forward, forcing my eyes back to his. “That, right there, is what I’m talking about. Are you scared to talk about our future?”

“No, I’m not scared.” I shake my head, stepping back to give myself some space.

“It's just that planning for our future has never turned out well for us. And there are so many unknowns. How do we know in a few years that we’ll still want the same things? Why can’t we just live in the moment, you know? ”

Hawke is shaking his head. “We are enjoying the moment, living in it. I finally have what I’ve always wanted, you.

You are my future, Emmarys. For me, that means finishing college together, going through the draft with you by my side, and living a future in whatever city I end up playing for. But I want to know what you want?”

My brow quirks. I feel almost angry, but I could cry at the same time. He says he wants me now, but I don’t even know what I want for my future. “What I want?”

“Yes. I know you are majoring in communications and that you want to do something for girls and women’s sports someday, but what about hockey? Are you wanting to go pro? Are you dead set on graduating from Michigan? How do you feel about relocating or living somewhere else after graduation?”

Hawke’s continuous questions are making panic and dread rise up my chest until it feels like my lungs are being squeezed and I can’t breathe.

Tears spring to my eyes and I have to get away.

Ignoring him shouting my name, I charge down the dock, my feet smacking against the wooden boards.

It sways slightly with my fast speed, but I keep going until I reach the end.

I need to breathe. I need air. My body feels cold from the wind and the absence of Hawke’s body heat.

Reaching the end of the dock, I hunch over, closing my eyes against the powerful sway, when Hawke runs down next to. “Emmarys, what is going on?”

“I don’t know, Hawke, okay. I don’t know. The last time I made plans you left me and I floundered for so long. I barely got in to Michigan and if it weren’t for hockey, I don’t know if they would have accepted my application. I’m scared to make plans. I don’t know what I want.”

His green eyes widen and for a split second I feel terrible about the flash of panic in his gaze. “Do you believe me that I’m here and that I want a future with you?”

My words hesitate in my throat, and he sees it.

Hurt crosses his features before something stronger, darker sets based on the way his jaw clenches.

Before he can speak, I hold my hand up, stopping him.

“You’re going to be a top position pick in the draft, Hawke.

What if in a few months, you don’t want a girlfriend because of the fame and traveling?

It's not going to be an easy lifestyle.”

“You think I could ever want anyone else more than I want you? I don’t care about the lifestyle, Em.

I’ve been surrounded by different versions of it since high school.

Other women don’t matter. Fame doesn’t matter.

Money doesn’t mean shit to me. All I need is you.

Fuck, if I knew it wouldn’t completely freak you out, I would take you to Vegas this weekend and marry you there, now. Then you couldn't bolt on me.”

My heart stops and races and my gaze snaps to his. He’s completely serious judging by the strained expression on his face and the way he’s watching me almost pleadingly. “And if I want to graduate college here?”

“Then we’ll stay here until you’re done or we’ll do long distance if we need to until you graduate. Do you want to get a job here or can you use your degree and do what you want anywhere? Did you want to move back home?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t really have a pull toward Crimson Bay. I'd obviously want to see my family when I could. Although they tend to follow me wherever I go anyways.” My shoulders shrug.

He nods. “And your degree? What do you want to do after graduation?”

I swallow down the emotion in my throat.

“I love hockey. I don’t have dreams to play professionally, not like Riley or Sam.

But I do want to do something to encourage girls playing sports, especially hockey.

I don’t have a full plan yet, so I guess that's something I’d have to look at more, but I’m sure anywhere I’d go, I could work on that. ”

“So I’ll wait another year to enter the draft.

It's not like the college is going to hate having me longer when we could win another championship. After graduation we’ll get married and wherever I get drafted we’ll live and you can work or not work.

Start a charity or a program for the girls you want to inspire.

I don’t care as long as it makes you happy.

I’ll support whatever you do as long as we’re together.

” He lays everything out. It’s a solid plan, one that he’s put thought behind, but I’m still panicking.

“I’m not going to live off your money,” I sputter because my brain is still focused on the fact that he said we’re getting married.

“Our money, sugar.” He smirks and pulls my body into his. “Once we’re married, whatever is mine is yours, always.”