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hawke

. . .

Emmarys isn’t at all surprised when I come find her one day after my week-long self-exile.

I couldn’t wait any longer to be with her.

I knew we would have a lot to go over and I would have to apologize for pushing her away since I’ve been home.

I watch her come out of her practice, her hair tucked under a beanie, wearing sweatpants and her winter jacket.

Her hands are tucked into mittens and holding her bag casually, as if she didn’t plot world domination in her spare time.

It turns out my girl looks sweet on the outside, but she has a possessive, dark streak just like I do.

Once I left the hospital, I pretty much collapsed at home, in my own bed, sleeping off everything my body went through.

During that time my innocent, angelic-looking girlfriend tore the world apart to get revenge for me and for our relationship.

Together, with Isla and Falcon, they tracked down Gia Houghs and were able to get the real image.

It was from my first National Championship game in Texas when the crowds stormed the field.

I took lots of pictures that day; the whole team did.

The one in question with Gia was with more of my teammates and the cheer squad.

She had cropped them out. I vaguely remember her saying something to me when the picture was taken, but I also never paid much attention to any of the women around me when I was there.

Emmarys was always the only one on my mind.

After Emmarys and Isla were done with Gia, the girl was off her cheer team, costing them a win at their sectional qualifier.

She was also painted as a liar, a manipulative woman spurred on by jealousy and bitter because I chose someone over her.

She was dragged all over social media and I didn’t care at all.

Finding out this plan was concocted with one of my teammates was a punch to the gut.

I knew the risks I was taking when I forced my way onto the team.

I knew leaving my previous team behind the way I did was going to be a shock and that some would see it as a betrayal.

I didn’t expect that a small group of players here in Michigan would be hurt by something that didn’t even happen to them or that they would want to ruin my career here.

Well, try to, anyways. My amazing girlfriend was able to find out who was involved with the help of her best friend’s boyfriends.

The security footage showed them huddled together before the dinner, and it also showed Anthony Parker sliding into the seat next to me at the table.

At the time I thought it was weird, but we were coming off the high of a huge win, so I chalked it up to him feeling included.

Then the camera showed exactly how his hand bent over my glass when I was turned to someone else on the other side of the table.

I had been betrayed by my own teammates.

The College Football Association and Michigan took matters seriously and Parker, along with two other defensive players, were released from the team.

Surprisingly, there was zero backlash and only support on the college’s social media pages and in the reports from ESPN.

I couldn’t believe they covered the story, but since this will be my third time in a College National Championship game, albeit with a different team, it was news.

Currently, my relationship status and me personally are the top trending hashtags for college sports.

#QBofhearts #Emmaandhawkeforever #Emmathetrueicequeen #RuthlessQBInLove .

The media praised my girl for keeping her cool, for being supportive of me, and for continuing to show up at her hockey games and not let the drama affect her playing ability.

Emmarys is an impressive force in the eye of the media.

But they didn’t see the real pain and vulnerability that we had in our private life.

They didn’t see how when I got home from the hospital, I cut myself off from the world and her for a week.

I took the time to adjust and heal and get my focus back.

I had meetings with my coaches, with the dean of the college, with some of the sponsors from the association.

There were up front legal issues to sort out with the investigation and decisions had to be made if I would press charges.

There was also fighting for my own rights when I was told I would have to be drug tested for the next few weeks to make sure I was capable of playing in the championship game.

The media didn’t see how Emmarys and I talked every day and she cried every time she couldn’t be with me because she had a game.

Or how we argued when I insisted she focus on her game and on her classes with the new semester starting up.

We had been almost living together since the bet and now she was staying with her friend, Sam, while I got my shit together.

The media also didn't know that in order to keep my hands from shaking while talking about the investigation, I made over thirty new candy bouquets for my girlfriend. I know I am going to need a gesture, something big to show Emmarys how much she means to me. That she’s the love of my life.

She didn’t give up on me or on us. She fought the battle so I could take the time I needed to get my head right.

So candy bouquets it is. But I still need something more, something that shows her exactly how much I never want to be apart from her again.

Something permanent, just like her place in my life.

I can tell the exact moment she senses I’m nearby.

Her hand runs over her neck and her head slowly lifts, eyes glancing around her.

I can see the excitement flash in her eyes and the smile that teases her lips.

I stalk toward her, needing to feel her after days of going without.

Our gazes collide and I can read the instant relief in hers.

We reach for each other at the same time, my arms wrapping around her waist, and her arms circling my neck.

I hold her off the snow-covered ground, keeping her body tucked into mine, my face pressed to her neck.

“I fucking missed you, sweets.”

Her body shudders and it sounds like she’s crying. Carefully, I set her feet to the ground and take her face between my hands. Tears gather in her eyes and sure enough, they’re spilling down her cheeks.

“Please don’t cry, Em,” I beg, my mouth running along her cheeks trying to catch each tear and swallow it down.

“I just missed you so much,” she says, her voice breaking slightly.

I pull her back into me, my hand cradling her head to my chest while she cries it out. I hold her the entire time, reminding her I’m here and that I’m never letting her go. I can’t.

Once her breathing evens out, I take her hand in mine and lead her to my truck.

Emmarys doesn't fight me. She gets in, and I drive us to our apartment. For the first time since I left for that away game, I feel whole again. Ever since I’ve been home from the hospital, I’ve been worried about what's next since I pushed away the person who stood by me the entire time, believing in everything we talked about, our own happily ever after. I’m hoping I didn’t bring up her old fears or cause her to think I don’t need her, because I do.

With so much going on I just wanted her to concentrate on school and hockey.

It was my way to keep taking care of her like I always do.

We take the elevator up and when I open the door and lock it behind us, I can hear the audible sigh of relief from Emmarys. Our eyes catch and I move to her, hugging her once more.

“Never again, sugar.”

She nods her head, her golden-brown eyes glistening in the dim lighting. “I was so worried about you. I know you needed time but I thought maybe–”

“Don’t. Don’t even think it, Em. I made it through all of this because of you, because of the peace you give me.

I can’t believe everything you did for me.

You’re fucking incredible.” I wrap her in my arms again, carrying her to our bedroom, knowing I need to make love to her.

I need to feel her shatter underneath me, to see the way she looks at me while I make her come apart and tell her how much I love her.

“No one gets to hurt you, Hawke,” she whispers, but I hear her. More, I understand her. I would do the same; I have done the same. Emmarys has fought battles for us just like I have.

“You’re perfect for me, sweetheart.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “You’re so fucking perfect, and mine.”

“Yes,” she answers automatically, her words sending heat rushing through my body.

I want to take my time with her. I want to give her sweet and gentle, loving and caring, but I don’t have it in me. I’ve gone a week without her and having her this near to me is a balm on my soul.

“I want to touch every inch of you. I need to sink so deep inside you that you feel me in your heart and soul,” I groan, kissing her lips, nipping them while her hands tighten their grip on me.

“Please, Hawke,” she begs, and I trail my lips down her neck, my hand fisting her hair at the base of her neck, angling her neck back, to give me better access. She inhales at the sudden sharp sting and pink floods her cheeks.

“I need to see it, sweets. Are you going to show me how much you missed me?”

Shivers break out on her exposed skin, skin I’m already reaching for, needing to see all of her.

“Yes, anything,” she breathes out.

Triumph flashes in my brain, a smirk tugs at my lips. “Take off your clothes, Emmarys. I want to see my future wife naked on our bed.”