Page 38

emma

. . .

We’re creeping closer to winter break and the end of the fall semester.

Things are settling down and Hawke has been an unstoppable force on the field.

Somehow news of my hit on the girl from Weston made it around and there was a level of respect that I received from football players and more girls from my hockey team than I expected.

It was nice to know they didn’t think I was ruining Hawke’s football career anymore, and it felt good just to have them know that no one could mess with him and get away with it.

I had his back just like he had mine. I was his and I owned him back just as much.

I don’t even hesitate this week when I grab his jersey from my closet and settle it over my tight, long-sleeve bodysuit.

The weather has turned cold here and winter is coming early.

Layers are my best friend for today's game, and a very large, very warm jacket that was gifted to me early courtesy of my thoughtful boyfriend. With my fleece leggings on and my feet shoved into my boots, I tuck some hand warmers in my pockets for later. I’m willing to freeze to see this man play; he better know how much I care about him.

My nerves are slightly on edge as I get closer to the stadium but that has more to do with who is coming to Hawke’s game today and less to do with my being worried about him out there.

Hawke’s momma and his brother Falcon confirmed yesterday that despite the chilly temps and the possible snow flurries, they plan to attend the game today.

Their flight arrived last night, but they didn’t drop by the apartment; they are just meeting me at the stadium instead.

Hawke planned ahead and asked for the family box today since he’ll have guests.

Of course the administration bent over backwards to accommodate their star player.

The perks of dating the number one quarterback in college football.

I show the security guard my ticket and I’m let into the stadium.

Another usher helps me find the staircase to the box seats and I start my climb up.

Once I’m out of the tunnel, I can feel the chill again and huddle deeper inside my coat.

The box itself provides some shelter and cover thankfully.

The box is full by the time I step down, and to my relief Sam, Riley, Reign, Leif, Carter, Isla and another guy I’ve never met before are all seated there.

Before I can even worry about it being awkward, there’s a squeal of delight and a very southern-accented woman shouting.

“There's our girl!”

Hawke’s momma wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a giant hug, rocking my body back and forth.

I’m blinded for a second due to the faux fur hood she has on her jacket, but then she’s pulling back.

Her smile and the tears in her eyes instantly defeat the worry I had over seeing her again.

Things have changed over the years and with Hawke’s drastic move after he turned twenty-one, I didn’t want her to resent me.

In high school my relationship with Hawke’s momma was good; she was sweet, we laughed and talked whenever I was around, so I was nervous it wouldn’t be that way now.

“It's so good to see you,” I tell her, squeezing her arm affectionately.

“Oh, honey.” She hugs me again. “It's so good to see you. I’m so happy for you two.”

Tears sting my eyes and we smile at each other before another arm is thrown around my shoulders.

“Oh my god, Falcon,” I laugh, now having to look up at the man who used to be my height when he was a teenager.

“I’m all grown up now, Emma,” he laughs and hugs me.

“You are so tall,” I giggle and return his hug. He follows it up with a selfie, so he can torment his brother with it later.

“In all seriousness, though, Emma, thank you. Thank you for being here for my brother and for giving him another chance. Watching him spiral when he had to be away from you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever seen. He wasn’t the same, but since being here he’s coming back to the man I knew.”

A tear escapes and I wipe it away quickly. “I couldn’t let go of him either, Fal.”

He laughs gently and gives me a little smirk. “Well, that's good, since I’m pretty sure we’ll be family someday.”

I scoff and push him playfully. “We’ll see if your brother can hang with me for a year first.”

“Oh, Emma, you have no idea how long my brother has been holding onto you for.”

His tone is light, but his words pack a punch.

Of course I know it; Hawke has mentioned it before, but there is something different about it when it comes from someone else he’s close to.

Eventually we all settle down and watch the game.

I laugh more than I have in years at Falcon’s antics and the way he taunts his brother from up in the box.

I spend time catching up with Hawke’s momma and she learns all about how my life has been since they left Crimson Bay.

I don’t miss the way her eyes mist over when I start talking about my life with Hawke now.

By the end of the fourth quarter, we all swap numbers and plan to grab dinner after the game.

Falcon and his momma leave in the morning with only one more night in the hotel.

I offer to let them have some family time, but I’m firmly told that I am family and that I have to join them.

After saying goodbye to my friends, I stand with Hawke’s family while we wait for him.

The steps into the hallway after hitting the locker room his eyes connect with mine.

No one even questions it when he hustles over, his hands cupping my jaw and kissing me before he greets his family.

They start talking about food and I’m lost in my mind, running over the events of tonight and feeling overwhelmingly happy. Hawke places a kiss on my cheek, pulling me back to reality in the next second.

“What do you think, sweetheart? That Italian place we tried the other week?”

I blink at him and watch his knowing smile form on his lips. He knows I was too blissed out and barely paying attention. But I do remember the place we went to.

“Yes, Vita Rosa. If you like Italian food, it was very good.”

His mom’s eyes dance with humor and she nods at both of us. “We love Italian. If you both don’t mind, let's just head there.”

I start to follow them until Hawke takes my hand in his, leading me toward his truck. “We’ll meet you there.”

With my hand in his, I follow while he asks me about the box seats and we talk about his game. Once we’re on the road, I tell him what I have wanted to all day.

“It was nice to be here today. Seeing your family again went better than I thought it might. I missed them while we were apart. Your mom was so sweet, hugging me and I can’t believe how grown Falcon is now.” I smile at him and find he’s already watching me.

“I’m glad Momma and Falcon were able to be here. I haven’t seen them since everything went down. I’m honestly surprised my grandfather let them leave the estate,” he says, his jaw clenching, eyes turning hard.

I squeeze the hand of his that he settled on my knee. “They both seem happy and they’re so proud of you.”

Hawke grips my leg tighter. “I had everyone I care about most in the world in that box today. Looking up to see you all there meant so much to me. But knowing you’re there, Em, that means the world. I can’t wait to see you up there in every home box anytime I have a game.”

My lips turn up, but his words steal my breath.

I don’t know how to respond when he talks so casually about the future.

I know Hawke is destined to be drafted, that he’ll play in the NFL.

I’ve known it since we were kids. Now that the future is looming closer, I don’t really know where that leaves me.

He makes comments about our future, about wanting me there when he lives out his dream in the NFL, but we haven’t really talked about what that looks like.

I still have two more years of college before I graduate.

Silence descends and my body grows more rigid the longer it stretches on. I don’t want Hawke to be disappointed in me; I’m just not sure what there is to say.

“Em—-”

“It's on the left,” I cut him off and point to the turn to the restaurant.

Hawke sighs and makes the turn. His momma and Falcon are already parked and heading in while we find our own spot to park. Once Hawke turns the engine off, I go to open my door, but his hand on my arm stops me.

“You know what has never done us any favors before?”

I glance over at him, my brow raised. “What?”

“Miscommunication. When we don’t speak and we don’t share what we really mean, that's when we mess up. I refuse to fuck up any more time with you, Emmarys. I already lost too much.”

I swallow back the emotions clogging my throat.

“I feel like we’ve both voiced what we want, but we haven’t actually talked about the logistics of how we’ll make these things work.

And to be honest, Hawke, it feels like a fairy tale dream to me.

One I’m scared I’ll wake up from and you won’t want me anymore. ”

He growls and reaches across the center counsel to take my face between his hands.

“This is not a dream. A fairy tale maybe, but only the kind where we live happily ever after. Let's go inside, eat with my family then when they leave we can talk. I want it all out now. I need to know you’re with me because I’m never fucking letting you go regardless. ”

“What's the point of talking about it then, if I don’t get a say,” I huff, taking off my seat belt and pulling out of his grip.

“Emmarys,” Hawke says my name sternly, but I already have my door open and am out of the car.