Page 12

emma

. . .

I ran and I’m not exactly proud of it. The longer I stood there with Hawke, the more I felt my insides growing warm, and my heart was being a traitorous bitch, softening with every word he said to me.

It didn’t help that we had eyes on us as literally every person in the area either stopped to stare or did a double take and looked again.

Seriously, they have no shame. I also didn’t want the gossip to get to Jax before I had the chance to talk to him about Hawke.

After Sam and Riley spoke to me about telling Jax before he found out, I had resolved to do just that.

They were right in that he should know, so things like this don’t become an issue for us.

I was not expecting my ex to corner me so soon.

I really did a good job lying to myself that he wasn’t here with a purpose.

Ducking into the locker room, I quickly change so I’m not the last one on the ice. Once my skates are tied, I make my way out there and immediately find Riley and Sam.

“Holy freaking cow!” Sam’s eyes widen as she grabs the front of my jersey and yanks me closer. Riley levels everyone around us with a hard stare, silently telling them to stay out of our bubble.

“It's not how it looks,” I try to tell them. Both of them immediately glare at me like I’m stupid.

“Emma.” Riley blows out a breath, her hands on her hips.

“Okay, so it might be like it looks.” I bury my face in my hands.

“Did he say he was here for you?” Sam asks, her teeth chewing on her lip.

I peek at her around my gloves and notice how she looks a little too excited about this. Frowning, I drop my hands. “Something along those lines might have been mentioned.”

“I knew it!” Riley whisper-shouts and jumps into Sam. Again, they both look a little too happy about the situation. “What did he say?”

“I asked him why he was here and he said…you’re here,” I admit reluctantly and feel my cheeks heating all over again. God, the way he said it like it was obvious and meaningful about made my knees weak.

“Oh, he so wants her back.” Sam is smiling so wide while she gives Riley’s arm a little shake. “Pay up.”

“You guys!” I laugh because if I don’t, I know I’ll break down crying instead. “You can’t bet on me. That has to be against girl code or something.”

“We didn’t bet on you; we bet on him. Riley thought he wanted to settle a score, I bet that he was here to win you over,” Sam clarifies, and her eyebrows jump up and down while she says it.

“Still...” I point at them. “This means nothing. He can live his life however he wants to. I already told him I’m not doing this with him.

You guys know how hard it was the first time and you know the second time almost destroyed me.

Plus, his family hates me and his evil grandfather actively wants to destroy my own family. It's not a good idea.”

“Plus, you have a boyfriend,” Riley adds, her gaze a little too intense on me.

My chest flushes and my stomach coils with guilt. Not once when Hawke was standing so close to me, when he touched me, or when he kissed my forehead, did I stop him or think about Jax. It took every ounce of energy I had to keep my legs from buckling or from crying.

“Jax doesn’t deserve the drama that Hawke has caused in my life. I want to move on. I want a fairy tale that doesn’t come with strings attached to it,” I tell them honestly.

The smiles on their faces dim. They were both there when he left.

Sam was there after prom and held me together.

Riley became my pillar last year while I navigated our first year of college and even sat with me on Hawke’s birthday when he turned twenty-one, and my phone still didn’t ring.

I know Sam would have been here too if she hadn’t been dealing with her own relationship issue.

She wasn’t there though that night to see the wine-floodgate, which had been Riley’s idea to take my mind off of things.

I spent the night drinking too much wine and doing lots of crying over a man who didn’t seem to care anymore.

I cried for hours that night. I spent days wondering if I should reach out to him.

Wondering if I made up everything he said to me on prom night.

I felt sad, betrayed, and lied to. My heart had held onto his words, hoping that once he was free on his birthday that I would hear from him.

That we would find a way to be together.

The silence from Hawke on that day was way more painful, and numbing at the same time, than anything before.

“I didn’t say this earlier because, honestly, I didn’t know what you wanted to do.

But I think you should know. Reign did some asking around and no one had a bad thing to say about Hawke in Texas.

He went to class, played football, and occasionally would show up to an event if it was expected.

He was never seen or heard of to have a girlfriend or jersey chasers at his side,” Riley tells me.

Guilt passes over her features. “I just wanted you to know that in case you were worried.”

“Emma, what he did to get here is unheard of. He’s here for you,” Sam adds, tapping her stick with mine. “Plus, the man looks hot as hell.”

We all start laughing at the way she says it and dramatically pinches her jersey, pretending to cool herself off.

She is right though, Hawke has grown and changed since we were last together.

He was wearing a hoodie, but I saw the edges of tattoos on his neck and on his knuckles.

He was taller than me before, but he towers over me now, and he’s even more filled out than he was as a teenager.

The only thing about him that is the same is his piercing green eyes and the shaggy dark blond hair he still wears.

I wasn’t the only one to notice either. I’ve heard the talk since he arrived and even some of the girls on our team talked about it in the locker room the other day.

I rushed to get dressed and immediately left the space when I started to recognize what I was feeling was jealousy.

That they were talking about him and wanting to give him a private tour of the campus.

I felt sick, thinking of any of them having him like I had.

It wasn’t even fair to them for me to be upset.

I had no hold on Hawke. I have a boyfriend.

“He wants to talk. At some point I’m going to hear him out and hopefully then we can coexist here on campus,” I tell them, my eyes darting from Sam’s to Riley’s. “After I tell Jax. I don’t think it's a big deal, but he deserves to know.”

They're both silent, watching me. No one else gets a chance to speak again though as our coach appears on the bench and starts shouting directions for our warm-up drills. A few of the girls groan, but I’m thankful.

I need the distraction I get from the sport I love.

I want my legs to hurt and my mind to be solely focused on winning our upcoming pre-season game.

Hawke is just going to have to learn that I don’t operate on his timelines.

As if she can smell the turmoil in all of us girls tonight, our coach is brutal in practice.

She skates us until my chest is burning and my legs feel rubbery.

We’re all breathing hard by the time we get to the shooting drills.

My arms feel so stiff, I can barely lift the puck, and when we end with a friendly scrimmage, my eyes hardly focus.

My mind is silent though. I almost forget about all my worries and the tatted football player who cornered me.

At least until I step out of the arena, my hair dripping wet from the showers, and wearing Jax’s team hoodie.

Hawke’s eyes instantly fall on me. He fucking waited.

I have two choices, I can tuck my tail and run in the opposite direction, or I can control the situation and put all of our history to bed once and for all.

Taking a deep breath in and out, I head over to him.

I’ll listen to what he has to say, but I refuse to let prying eyes and gossiping mouths near our business.

I tap his shoulder and nod my head over to the walking trail.

“Follow me.”