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Chapter Fifty-Five

TORIAN

K eir moved to Rain's side. Hawke followed Aspen out. The wisps of shadows along the walls faded quickly. When the door closed, Wilder was still standing in the middle of my room, looking like he wanted to say something, but his mouth didn't open.

"What?" I asked, finally breaking the silence once enough time had passed for our friends to be on the elevator.

"Tor..." He shifted like he was about to step forward, but stopped himself. "You know I didn't know that was coming, right?"

"No, it's a good thing," I assured him.

He looked down, dragging his tongue over his teeth behind his lips. "Yeah, maybe. I also don't have a fucking clue how to do this."

"Bullshit."

That made his head snap back up. "What?"

"Oh, come on, Wilder," I said, waving him towards a chair. "You have been the most loyal duke in the history of nobility." And I laughed once, thinking back to all the times he'd fucking hovered over my sister protectively. "You're a perfect heir."

"Heir, sure," he agreed. "But what happens if Aspen is killed, like you fear? Then I won't be just the heir. I'll be a fucking King!"

"And that's the problem with being a prince," I pointed out. "Your entire existence is defined by someone else dying."

He'd just reached for the chair, but my words rocked him. "What?"

So I dipped my head at him, making it clear who I was talking about. "Congratulations on the promotion, Wilder."

"No, I'm a duke."

"You're a prince now," I countered. "Still a duke, and you don't need to tell anyone you're now the Winter Prince, but that doesn't change that it happened."

"I'm..." He couldn't finish the sentence. Only air came out. "No."

I leaned back, using my hands to hold me somewhere between sitting and lying. "I give you my title," I said. "And gladly!"

"But Tor - "

"No." Shaking my head stopped his weak protests.

"This is what we were born to do. Your parents sacrificed themselves to make sure you survived - and you did.

I'm not going to ask what you had to do to make that happen, and the bit you've told us leaves a lot of gaps.

That is all your business. But this? It really is a good thing. "

"Yeah, I got that," he said. "I just..." Pressing his lips together, he pulled in a breath.

I could see him trying to pick the right words. I could tell there was something bigger weighing on him. Sadly, too much had been unsaid between all of us. When we'd first come together, our nobility had felt like something to be ashamed of. Now, it was a weapon to be used against us.

The only way to fix it would be for us all to finally talk about it. For us to stop fearing what each other would think, because time and time again, the court had stepped up. Over and over, when I was so sure there was no way to make this work, something had happened to change my mind.

Most of the time, it was Rain.

"We have the Morrigan," I mumbled. "Not them.

Not our world. She's here, with us. One of us, Wilder.

And while I don't believe in signs, isn't Rain's entire position nothing more than a sign to the fae?

So tell me what's bothering you, because if I can't help, it seems Rain will stumble into something that fixes it. "

He sat awkwardly, leaning over his knees for a moment before leaning back. Just when I was sure he wouldn't say shit, he proved me wrong.

"Hawke."

"He's a duke."

"I'm a prince."

"And a duke," I reminded him. "Besides, my sister will probably end up having a herd of little brats to inherit after her. Give her a four or five decades and who knows. Maybe Keir will help them out. Your status as the heir to the Winter Crown is only temporary, I'm sure."

"And then?" he asked. "C'mon, Tor. We all keep talking about this shit like we're going to end up back on Faerie, but we're not.

The gates are locked, and none of us want to open them.

Your mother is there, waiting for that to happen.

The moment someone fucks with her seals, you know she's going to unleash years of plans.

The sort that not even our Morrigan could stop. "

"So what should we do?" I asked. "We can't just throw up our hands and say it's hopeless. The magic doesn't work that way."

"But does it have to work this way?" he asked.

"Which?"

Wilder made a gesture, encompassing everything around us.

"Kings, queens, princes and princesses. Clearly Keir's figured out something outside this mess.

Fuck, Poppy's magic has turned iridescent too - and people have noticed.

Pascal went from nothing to Winter, and while I'm glad to have him, that's not the way things have always gone.

Never mind Aspen manipulating the line of succession! "

Oddly, he had a point. I was so relieved Aspen had made him her heir, but only moments ago I'd been ready to have Rain strip all my magic. I'd been in a panic because of what this could do to the balance of power, and yet Wilder was right. Something was already happening to it.

"Is this because of me?" I asked.

"Huh? What?" He looked at me like I'd just changed the subject - or maybe the language.

"Wilder, I'm not supposed to exist," I reminded him.

"Never before has one person been in line for both crowns.

The Winter Court has always had their nobility and the Summer Court has theirs.

Marriages are made between them, sure, but the lower-ranking partner changes courts.

The lines have been clear and well-defined - until I was born. "

"Then your birth was a good thing," Wilder said.

"I don't know if you're the reason, but this?

Do you seriously think Pascal would be pleased to never have magic?

Do you think Poppy has some loyalty to Summer?

And I'm sure there are more. Nevaeh! She's a magical mess.

Descended from the Summer Court, but wielding Winter power?

How many more are like that? We are surrounded by faelings - people who already don't fit into the mess our parents believed in.

So maybe that's why so many are excited about one single court? "

"Because they don't have to be something they aren't," I realized.

"So who they are and what they are can finally match," Wilder corrected. "So an accident of birth doesn't make them better or worse than their peers. So the position of parents they likely never got to know won't determine their future!"

"But it's not that easy," I said.

"It should be."

And Rain's comment about holding her beer whispered in the back of my mind. "Maybe I'm crazy..." I started.

Wilder chuckled at that. "Proven. You lost your shit out of the blue, Tor. I think that counts."

"It wasn't out of the blue," I mumbled. "It's The Silent. And all of this, from our teachers to the ones trying to fuck us up, they're all so sure it has to be this way. It's how it's always been done, we have to uphold things that came before us, and all that bullshit, right?"

"Mhm," Wilder said. "Trust me, I feel that pressure too."

"But who outranks us?"

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I'm the fucking Summer Prince. Aspen's the Winter Queen. You're now the Winter Prince. Hawke's a Summer Duke. Keir's... What did Poppy call him?"

"Steward of Earth," he supplied.

I nodded. "And Rain's the Morrigan. Jack's the Crow Prince.

Shadow!" I groaned. "That thing is part Rain, part sentient, and confusing as hell, but it's helping.

But there's no one here who can make rules for us.

Ms. Rhodes has made it clear we outrank her.

She hasn't tried to sway us one way or another, right? "

"Yeah?" He shook his head quickly. "And?"

"And we make the rules," I told him. "Us, Wilder.

The court. Not the two courts. We're all working together, and that's breaking enough rules.

Rain keeps telling me fighting back isn't about doing their thing better.

I don't have to push back or rush forward.

I can change direction completely. My mother expects one thing to happen, but if we simply stop playing her game?

If we say fuck it, and rewrite all the rules, what then? "

"Which rules?" he asked.

And I felt a smile taking over. "We let people decide who they are. Not who we want them to be. If they're Summer but feel like Winter, then fine. Winter needs more people anyway."

"So what happens if everyone wants to be Summer?" he asked.

I lifted a brow at him. "You long to have Summer magic?"

"Well, no."

"Exactly," I said. "Some will pick Winter just because my sister's so damned..." My words trailed off as the truth of what I was saying hit me. "...nice," I finished. "That's what Pascal said. Aspen's nice. He swore to her because she's nice."

"And Poppy is sick of monarchies, the same way Keir is."

"Earthborn," I pointed out. "They've seen democracy in action."

"But a court isn't a democracy," Wilder countered.

"But it could be a republic," I realized. "Maybe we were born into the positions, but you weren't born the heir. Against all odds, you were picked to be the representative."

"And when they pick someone other than us?" Wilder asked.

And I sighed, feeling my great plans crumbling around me. "I don't know."

"Neither do I," Wilder agreed. "What I do know is something happened to start all of this. Something you really don't want to talk about."

"It's stupid."

"Mhm." He lifted a brow. "How stupid?"

"I hit on a girl. That redhead, Isla? She was checking me out, so I encouraged her. Before I knew it, she was talking about how my hair is dark because of my father, and saying shit that sounded like what The Silent have been telling us. One court, Summer is best, and all that crap."

"Ah." He nodded. "So why were you hitting on some idiot faeling? Because Tor, that girl is dumb."

"But curvy," I said.

He grunted. "Fuck curves. Never mind that Keir's been anything but subtle. Hell, you kissed him like you were sucking out his soul that night."

He meant when Aspen had been crowned. When Keir and Rain had finally realized our secret. When Ms. Rhodes had allowed us to talk about it again.

"But he's with Rain."

"So?"

I huffed at that. "And Rain is with my sister. So you know, I'm not interested in any form of incest."

Across from me, Wilder rolled his eyes so hard I should've heard them rattling. "So don't fuck your sister. Easy."

"And I'm straight."

That made him scoff. "You, Torian, are fae."

"Aspen only likes girls," I tried next.

"And you're not Aspen!" He tossed up his hands. "Torian, for one day, try living for yourself. Not for your mother, your people, or to keep Aspen safe. You kissed him. We all know it happened, and you're not disgusted by men, so why are you pretending like Keir isn't an option for you?"

I didn't know. For as long as I could remember, I'd been so sure of how things would go, and ending up with a woman was a part of that. And sure, I'd had more than a few opportunities to enjoy the girls here - enough of them made it clear they were interested - but they'd always felt temporary.

Rain had caught my eye, though. Something about her had pulled at me, making me feel like I'd found my match. Over and over, she'd told me off, laughed in my face, twisted my words to get the upper hand, and acted like I was nothing at all special.

But so had Keir.

I knew he was handsome; he was fae. When I should've punched him, I'd kissed him. Not even an hour ago, I'd been desperate for anyone to be interested in me, but Keir was with Rain. He was a guy. I was supposed to be straight - but what if I wasn't?

"Fuck," I breathed, pushing to my feet. "We need to make an appointment with Liam."

"You're changing the subject," Wilder said, making it clear he knew me too well. "What's wrong with Keir?"

"I don't know!" I snapped.

"Just not feeling it?" he asked. "C'mon, Tor. Talk to me. I mean, I am your equal now."

Of all the things he could've said, that one actually hit. It was still new enough to feel shocking, but also reassuring enough I had no way to counter it.

"How do I know?" I asked, refusing to look at him.

Wilder eased himself to his feet. "You stop trying to convince yourself you fit in one box, and you start seeing if others fit too."

"And if I'm wrong?" I asked.

Moving to my side, he slapped my back gently. "Which means you think he's hot."

"He's..."

Hot was true. It was also the least important thing to me. I'd known so many beautiful people who terrified me. That was the nature of our kind. But Keir? He was heroic. He was noble. He was soft, strong, sensitive, and so close. The guy lived in the other half of my suite!

"Wilder, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore."

"I know," he said softly. "But it's ok, Tor. We're all here for you. We actually hope you'll fuck up a bit, so if Keir isn't doing it for you, flirt with Rain. Fuck, flirt with Hawke."

"No, that would freak Hawke out," I said.

Wilder chuckled. "Probably, but you can still do it. And you know what? I have a feeling we'd all survive it being completely awkward. I'm pretty sure none of our friendships would crack if someone fumbled a bit. However, I'm certain that if you're not going to make a move on Keir, I just might."

I glanced over, finding my sister's protector smiling at me softly. "Or both?" I asked.

"Me and you both hitting on him?"

I shrugged. "I mean, fuck the rules?"

"Fuck the rules," he agreed, guiding me forward.

"And you should talk to Liam about your sexuality too.

See if he can help you sort it out in your head.

If you're straight, then we're good with it.

But Tor? If you're as pansexual as the rest of us?

We're good with that too. I mean, might be nice to have the most powerful fae on Earth be a little bit normal, wouldn't it? "

"I'm not the most powerful anymore," I reminded him.

"Oh, you still are," he told me. "Maybe Aspen has more rank - "

"And power."

He grunted, clearly not agreeing. "But she lacks your ruthlessness. It doesn't count if she won't use it, Tor. Face it, we still need you." And he gestured for me to enter the hall first.

I did, but his words stuck with me. The court needed me. No. My friends did, and that actually felt even more important. I was no longer the heir to the Winter Crown. The problem had been solved.

It felt too fucking easy.