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Chapter Fifty-Three

TORIAN

I was supposed to be in class. I should've been telling Ms. Rhodes how close Isla's words had been to The Silent's. Instead, all I could think about was how I could destroy everything. How people actually wanted me to.

On the way up in the elevator, I kept shoving my hand over my mouth, thinking up and discarding ways to explain this to Rain.

I couldn't tell her I was desperate for a little attention!

I certainly wouldn't say I was lonely. I knew how lucky I was to have the court as my friends, and only a spoiled, pampered little prick of a prince would take that for granted.

So I said nothing.

She kept looking over at me, but it was as if she knew - or maybe thought this was another one of those things we didn't talk about in public. Yet when we reached my room, she closed the door and spun on me.

"Tor, what's wrong?"

I pulled in a breath and let words tumble with it as I forced it back out. "I need you to remove all of my power. Put those cuffs on me? Rain, you have to do something !"

She stepped back, confusion taking over her face. "Why?"

But Jack fluttered over to one of the chairs. "Shadow!" he cawed.

I saw Rain glance at the floor, where her shadow was still attached to her like normal, but then she dragged her eyes up to me again. Her brow furrowed. What she didn't do was react. I could see her thinking, but there was no yelling with it.

"What happened?" she finally asked.

Yeah, I didn't want to talk about that. "Rain, we both know I'm the problem.

As long as I'm Aspen's heir, I'm a threat to all the good we're doing.

We're into summer now - magically speaking - so it's easy to avoid using Winter magic, but what happens in the fall?

How do you think The Silent, or the Children of the Exodus, or even the fucking Summer lovers will take it when I accidentally grab the wrong season and my power comes out white instead of green? !"

"Why now?" she asked, looking over at Jack.

"Morrigan?" he asked.

Subtly, she shook her head. "No, Jack. Right now, I'm just his friend."

Those words felt like a fucking knife into the middle of my chest. "Then stop!" I snapped at her. "Fucking think , Rain. I know you love Aspen. It's not a damned secret, so this is for her."

"And what, exactly, do you want me to do?" Her tone was carefully calm and measured.

"I figured you don't have the heart to kill me, so at least strip my power. We both know you can. You're the Morrigan. You must be able to."

"Stripping magic is your thing," she threw back.

"And I can't do it anymore!" I roared, storming toward her.

"Don't you get that? I tried to strip that little bitch who was going to attack you.

I want to hurt these people. Every time one of them comes at my sister's subjects, I can't think of anything but the pain I could cause.

How I should hurt them. The ways I could destroy these pathetic people who don't have enough power to stop me! "

And she pushed into my face, proving she had no fear of me at all. "No, you don't!"

Those warm brown eyes of hers glared into mine. They held me. Panting, I tried to find a way to force her to do this, but nothing came to mind. I wouldn't push her. I couldn't use magic on her.

So I forced myself to be calm, cold, and cruel. "I am still fae," I reminded her. "Lying is one thing I cannot do."

"No, but you can twist the truth enough to still count," she shot back.

"Sure, you want to hurt people when they attack the ones you care about.

Yeah, I'm sure you want to make them all pay.

Know what? So do I. That's called caring, Torian.

It's pretty fucking normal, but the difference?

Good people only think it. They don't do it, and you haven't done a single thing wrong. "

"I am wrong."

Her eyes narrowed, and her head shifted sideways slightly as if she was trying to reject that. "How?"

"You know how! I'm the heir to two thrones. I'm cursed, Rain! As long as I'm alive, my mother still has her fingers reaching for the Winter Crown! That was her plan: kill the monarch, put me on the Winter Throne, and then take everything for herself. To use me."

"Then don't let her."

"They will fucking kill Aspen to make sure of it!" I screamed.

She tensed at the volume, but still didn't step back. "They won't be able to touch her."

"And that's where you're wrong." Slinging a hand up in frustration, I turned to storm across my room, needing to move before I did something stupid. "Rain, they keep trying new things. First, it was attacking Winter users to test the waters. They fucking came at Wilder in his room!"

"And we stopped them," she pointed out. "Hawke was there."

"They just had seven simultaneous attacks!"

"And you - yes you, Torian - have convinced enough people your plan is worth fighting for that they were stopped.

Regular students, including the sentinels, jumped in to stop it.

Teachers are watching the halls now. Ms. Rhodes is doing everything she can to find them, kick them out or limit their magic, and to fix this. "

"Hate can't be fixed," I said softly.

And her breath rushed out. "What?"

"This!" I said, gesturing around us. "The bullshit about Summer and Winter?

It's based on hate. All of this was my mother's plan, don't you see that?

If she could make us hate each other, she could easily get others to do her dirty work for her.

She locked the Wild Hunt on this world, adding to the fear and paranoia.

In desperation, some want to capitulate to her, convinced she'll somehow know.

In the end, they're all working on fear and hate, and those two things are more dangerous than any magic in either of our worlds! "

"So why have people been so excited about the idea of one court?" she asked, lifting a brow.

I waved that off, refusing to allow her to derail me. "I need you to take my power."

"And I'm not going to."

"But you have to!" Groaning, I shoved my hair back. "You have to do it now, because they've realized I'm tied to the Winter Crown!"

Rain simply looked over to the crow, who was silently watching us, his head snapping from her to me each time we spoke. "Jack?" she asked.

"Court..." he murmured.

"Yeah." She lifted her arm, a clear sign for him to come closer.

Jack flew the short distance, landing so he could face her. For a moment, the pair simply looked at each other, then Rain turned for my door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, thinking she was going to just leave me here.

But she opened the door and told him, "Find Aspen."

Jack took off. I lunged, trying to stop him, but it was already too late. Left with nothing else, I rounded on her.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm fixing this," she hissed, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me back so she could close the door again.

"Because fuck you and your tantrums, Torian.

Fuck you for thinking you're worthless. Well, you know what?

You're not! You're the one with all the answers.

You've been the one holding this shit together. In case you missed it, we need you."

"And I'll destroy it all!"

"So don't."

"But - "

She held up a hand, stopping my words. "Tor, listen to me.

Do you think the rest of us aren't scared shitless sometimes?

Do you not realize this is a huge fucking thing that's been dropped on us?

Fuck, a year ago, I didn't even know fae were real.

I thought I was hot shit because I wasn't like most foster kids who hoped to be a fairy princess.

I was proud of the fact that I was a realist, willing to do the hard shit since the world sucks, and sure my best chance was to end up forgettable. "

"You're the Morrigan," I reminded her.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, and you're the Summer Prince."

"Not the same!"

Stepping closer, she lifted a hand to cup my cheek. "What happened, Tor? What set this off?"

"You don't want to know."

"I do," she breathed.

I leaned into her touch slightly. Just enough to feel the contact of her skin against my cheek.

"Everyone else gets to be happy, Rain. Aspen got you.

You got Keir. Hawke and Wilder just work.

Everyone else can see their happy ending, but mine?

" My guts clenched, and my eyes jumped to hers on their own. "I'm going to ruin it."

"No," she said softly.

"Listen to me," I begged. "I'm Aspen's younger brother."

"Three days," she scoffed.

"And still her closest relative. That makes me her heir.

As long as I'm even in line for the crown, my mother's plan is still working.

She killed our father, Rain! She has executed most of the Winter Court.

There aren't nobles left to make a line of inheritance.

It's us. Just us, and if the Queen dies, someone has to inherit the magic.

It will pick someone if it has to. It will shift, working its way down, and if the only options are fae too weak to control it, no one knows what will happen - but me. "

"What will happen?" she asked.

I licked my lips, wanting to pull away from her gentle touch, but also hating the idea.

"Titania will crush them, destroy everyone with any tie to Winter at all, and consume the power herself.

She will bastardize the natural forces of magic so that she, and she alone, will finally have it all.

" And I closed my eyes, relaxing into her hand even more.

"And as long as I'm alive, her minions will try to kill my sister.

I am nothing but a call to arms for them. "

She pulled her hand away, forcing my eyes open. "You," she said, "are an idiot, Torian."

"What?!"

Rain gestured toward the atrium. "Out there are how many Summer students?

A small percentage give a shit about who has the crowns.

Most of them just want to understand where they fit in all of this.

They dream of a world where they have the same chances as everyone else.

They just want what they are to be ok. Not the bad guy, Torian, but ok. "

"And?" I asked, not quite sure where she was going with this.

"And their queen is evil," she said. "The Mad Queen, right?

Well, that doesn't sound like a side to be proud of.

So should they hate themselves? Or maybe, just maybe, they love the idea of a royal who is willing to say fuck it.

A prince who stands with everyone else. A guy so powerful it's terrifying, but who fights for them . "

"None of that changes that I don't fit," I growled.

Rain shrugged, not intimidated by me at all. "So?"

And I groaned, scrubbing at my eyes. How many times could I say this? How many different ways could I re-word it so she'd actually listen to me? What did I have to do to make her see how big of a problem my mere existence really was?

This time, I tried to do it calmly, hoping that would help. "Rain, as long as I'm in line for the throne, none of this can work."

She nodded just as my door clicked and slowly opened. Together, we turned as Aspen walked in, carrying Jack on her shoulder.

"Queen," Jack announced. "Court." Then he flew to land on Rain's shoulder. "Shadow!"

"Shadow doesn't seem to be listening," Rain told her bird.

"But I was," Aspen said. "Tor, what's going on?"

Rain answered before I could. "He wants me to take his magic or something stupid."

"No," Aspen said.

"But I can't be your heir!" Fuck, this was going nowhere.

"Look, I thought they were done, but I was talking to a girl between classes, and she was spewing the same bullshit - and she's not from the Children of the Exodus.

She said her suitemate was talking about how our father was the Winter King.

They're thinking about that part, Asp, and yes, I'm scared. "

My sister simply pulled out her phone and began typing. "So we deal with it," she said, her thumbs still going. "That's what you always tell me, isn't it?"

"Asp..." I tried.

And she finally looked up, ice blue eyes slamming into me. "Torian, every single time I've been scared, you've fixed it. Over and over, you help me when I need it most." Then she tapped one more time and I heard her phone make a little noise as a text was sent. "Now, it's my turn."