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Chapter Thirty-Five

KEIR

T orian stayed in the office with Rain far longer than I expected. Even more shocking, there wasn't any yelling. When they did come out, Hawke immediately stole Torian away, saying they'd practice together. And they did, in the back where no one else would see but Wilder.

Rain, Aspen, and I went up against all the sentinels.

They made us work for it, but the guys also stopped to give both Rain and Aspen pointers.

Surprisingly, Aspen was improving quickly.

No, she wasn't what I'd call good yet, but she was far from bad.

Even better, Rain had started leading our side, allowing me to be the support guard I was supposed to be.

By the time we were done, the tension of Torian's attack had faded. It had been a mistake, and the sentinels knew it. Even Pascal calmed down once he had a chance to think. But Wilder and Hawke came out of their room with Torian between them, laughing.

"Hey?" Hawke called. "We're taking Tor to grab a bite. Wanna come?"

"I need a shower," Aspen said.

"I'm with her," Rain pointed out.

"Keir?" Hawke asked. "Sentinels? That invitation is for all of you as well."

"I'll go," Pascal said, and the other three quickly agreed as well.

But Aspen brushed my arm, giving me a pointed look. "I'm going to hang out with my girlfriend, if that's ok?" I asked.

Torian gave me a pleased smile. "Good call, Keir," he said. "Make sure Aspen gets you home in one piece, ok?"

Which meant gate. I knew it did, but I wasn't sure my friends had figured that part out yet. I also didn't really want to tell all the court's secrets, so left it alone. Yet as we walked back home - me with my arm over both of "my" girls - the rest of the guys were finally talking.

Not bragging, not testing each other, but actually making an effort to get along. Aspen and Rain kept our conversation to the weather and flowers while we headed back, but the moment we were on the elevator, they switched so fast, I knew they had to be on the same page.

"I think Keir gets in the way," Aspen said. "Tor can't relax around him because he's trying to impress him."

"Is that..." Rain tapped her head.

I looked over. "Wait, do you know those things?"

"You mean if he's being a dumbass because he's horny?

" Aspen asked me. "Not exactly. I mean, he can tell me, and I can get like, feelings?

More than emotions, but not literal sensations.

More like anxiety, happiness, and warmth all mixed up.

Or fear and lust. You know, things that shouldn't go together unless you have more information. "

"So he likes Keir?" Rain asked.

Aspen scoffed just as the car opened on the top floor. "I think that is obvious. The problem is he doesn't know. So yes, he does, but he's trying to figure it out."

"I would think that part's easy," I said. "Either you like someone or you don't."

Aspen gave me a weary look. "Sure, to you .

He's not you..." She paused to unlock her door, then opened it and swept an arm out, indicating we should go first. When she closed the door behind us, she kept going.

"Keir, my brother didn't get to like people until he got here.

Then, he knew he liked girls, because he was told he had to.

A woman would make an heir; he was the prince, so he needed lots of them. Bastards would do."

"Shit," I breathed.

She nodded. "And my brother had his pick of all the girls he wanted when he got here," she said.

"Oh, he thought it was his due, but he also hated the ones who wanted to sleep with him.

He was so sure they all were looking for a leg up, or to use him, or for him to give them stuff.

You know, assuming they were the fae equivalent of gold diggers. "

"And Harper probably convinced him he was right," Rain added.

And yet I was actually thinking about the implications of that.

If Torian had only known attraction to be a thing that increased his value in the monarchy, then of course he'd be straight.

If he'd been told everyone wanted to use him, he'd see the maneuvering of men hoping for his attention as court politics and nothing more.

Realizing what this meant, I headed over to Aspen's bed and dropped down on it. "So what should I do, Asp?"

"Huh?" She looked at Rain as if hoping for a hint.

"With your brother," Rain clarified.

I just held up my hand. "Is my flirting with Torian bothering him? Making him think I'm trying to get something? I don't know. Do I need to leave him alone, become just a friend, or something else?"

Aspen moved to her dresser and pulled out a set of clean clothes. "I don't know." Then she turned her back and lifted her shirt over her head without shame.

But Rain? She shoved my chest, pushing me back onto the bed. "Don't look at my girlfriend while she's changing!"

"I didn't know she was!" I tried to explain even as I pulled Rain over me and up against the wall. That let me turn my back to where Aspen was changing. "Now if you want to strip, I'm sure we'd both enjoy that."

"Now is when you kiss him," Aspen giggled.

So she did. Rain leaned in, pressing her mouth to mine, but instead of pulling away quickly, she paused - and then opened her lips.

Oh, I took that invitation greedily. I didn't care if she was gross with sweat or anything else.

Personally, I thought she smelled amazing, and I liked the way she was just a bit disheveled after her practices.

It made me want to push my hand into her brown hair, so I did.

When I kissed her, she pressed in, unintentionally grinding her entire body against mine.

I could feel my dick getting harder, so I pulled my hips back enough to keep that from happening.

What I didn't do was stop kissing her - until the bed dipped.

Immediately, Rain and I both looked back to see Aspen there, grinning at us. "Move up, Keir. We girls need a pillow."

I shoved one of her pillows higher, making a backrest, then slid myself into place. Opening my arms, I made it clear I had enough chest for both of them to use. Surprisingly, they did. Rain took one side, then Aspen curled up on the other, looking at each other across me.

"So," Aspen said, "whatever you did with my brother? It worked."

"Do I want to know?" I asked. "More importantly, should I be jealous that you got to do it first?"

Rain rolled her eyes at me. "I gave him a hug."

"After he nearly took Pas's head off?"

"He needed it," Aspen explained. "Keir, Tor was trying to figure out how to apologize! He's never been able to do that either."

"Shit," I breathed, realizing how deep his trauma really went.

"And I think it was a little PTSD too," Rain said. "He said he heard his mother's voice. I mean, not literally, but like, that repetitive reminder of abuse from childhood kicked in, and I don't think he was allowed to be anything but brutal."

"He wasn't," Aspen said. "If my brother didn't do good enough - and I don't just mean win, but win well enough - his mother tortured him."

"I saw the scars," I told her.

Aspen nodded, but Rain gave me a confused look. "What scars?"

"Titania lashed him with magic," Aspen explained. "He probably won't like that you know, but I think you should. He can be mad at me for telling you."

"Instead of me," I realized.

Aspen just shrugged. "I'm immune from his rage."

"There's that," Rain agreed. "But are we talking about like, slave scars or something? I mean, the type I've only ever seen on slaves in my history books?"

"No," I said. "Those can be healed. These? Tor's back has a crisscross pattern on it, but he won't heal them."

"I don't know if he can, Keir," Aspen said. "I mean, magically, it should be possible, but emotionally?"

"He said something about wanting them as a reminder," I said.

Which made Rain sit up to look at us both. "Guys, that's not ok. Does Dad know?"

"Liam knows as much as anyone else," Aspen assured me. "Believe it or not, my brother likes him - and talks to him."

"Still?" I asked.

She nodded. "Liam makes him promise to attend a session.

Torian makes it sound like he's being forced, and yet when he's there?

" She gestured at her head. "He feels like, um.

.. You know how sometimes you get in bed and it's perfect, and you know you shouldn't move because it won't be this good again, but you have to?

Yeah, Liam makes my brother's mind feel like that. "

"Who do you talk to, Aspen?" I asked.

Those blue eyes of hers snapped up. "Me?"

"You," I said, hugging her a bit with the arm she was lying on. "Believe it or not, I care about you too. We're partners, right? Means I need to look out for you, and someone just announced that she's a queen."

A smile took over Aspen's face. "Oh, that's so cute!" Then she looked at Rain. "I really like your boyfriend."

"Me too," Rain said, shifting so she could lay back down. "But Aspen, can I ask a really stupid and insensitive question?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you think Torian only liked girls because you do? Or that you do because he did?"

I froze, not wanting to move at all and interrupt this.

I'd never thought about it, but Rain had a point.

These two were crawling in each other's heads, and they were siblings.

That had to be weird in some ways, but also would shape who they'd been as kids, then teens, and now as adults, even if that was still a new thing.

"I..." Aspen's brow creased. "I honestly don't know."

"Do you like any guys?" I asked.

Aspen made a face and shook her head. "I don't think so?"

"What do you mean?" Rain asked.

And Aspen grimaced. "How do I know? I mean, I can tell Keir's hot. He has pretty eyes, a nice jaw, big muscles, and all that stuff. I can objectively tell he's handsome."

My face was getting a little warmer. I tried hard to make it stop.

"But you just aren't into him, or guys in general?

" Rain asked. "I'm not judging, and Keir won't care.

I'm just trying to figure it out. I mean, for me, I never was into girls before, but I also never really took the time to see.

I knew some were pretty, but it was like the popular ones?

Girls everyone wanted to be like, not get naked with. "

"I think," I said gently, not wanting to shove my way into this if they didn't want my opinion, "it's really more about the touching. If you want to touch their hand, their hair, brush arms, and that sort of thing. Because liking guys and girls is very different for me."

"Oh my god, same!" Rain said.

Aspen just flopped one arm against my chest. "I always thought guys were gross, but they weren't fae. I mean, human boys? Eww!"

"I dunno," I said. "Some of those guys are kinda hot."

"I happen to like human boys too," Rain said with a smirk.

"Stick with us fae," I told her. "Trust me, Aspen and I are way better than any mere human boy. Never mind that they get better muscles than us."

"They aren't as pretty," Rain said. "And I do kinda like pretty."

So I tugged her over me and shifted to the wall, effectively dropping Rain in the middle. "That's why you're supposed to be in the middle, Rain."

"Oh!" Aspen squealed. "I like this!"

"Mhm," I agreed, shifting in so I could kiss Rain's neck.

Aspen lifted up and rolled closer, claiming Rain's mouth. I could feel Rain tense, clearly nervous, but she didn't pull away. Instead, I pressed a hand over her belly, making sure she could feel where it was and that it wasn't roaming, and kissed her neck again.

"You two make me happy," I whispered in her ear.

But it was Aspen who pulled back to look at me. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You're good to our girlfriend."

"And she's good to us," Aspen said, sliding down to snuggle up against Rain's side. "Just don't be jealous when she becomes friends with Torian?"

I shook my head. "Nope. I already know he kissed her. I also know she didn't mind. I figure whatever happens there is all good with me. I mean, we're one court, right?"

"No," Rain groaned. "I was just - "

"Helping him with Harper," Aspen finished for her. "But Rain, I can feel the lie hanging at the edge of that."

"You liked kissing him," I said. "We're just making it clear there's nothing wrong with it. That way, if he's a dick and tries again, you won't feel pressured to respond one way or another. Be his friend, his lover, or anything else. I think we're all ok with however this goes."

"One big happy family," Aspen said as she slid her fingers between Rain's. "But I'm not sleeping with my brother. And I mean in any arrangement!"

"Nope, not a turn on," I agreed. "Now, putting Rain between me and him?" Thrusting out my lower lip, I nodded.

"Keir!" Rain groaned, pulling her hands free to slap them over her pink face. "You two are ganging up on me again!"

"Mhm," I said. "Mostly because your reactions are just too cute."

I decided I wouldn't remind her that we couldn't lie. No, she'd remember that part if and when she needed to. Just knowing Aspen and I were on the same page was the part I'd been going for. And across Rain's body, the Winter Queen met my eyes and smiled.

"She calms him down," she mouthed.

I nodded. "He needs her." There was no sound with my words either.

"So do we," Aspen agreed.