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Chapter Thirty-Eight

KEIR

T he moment Ms. Rhodes led the attackers away, I moved to Pascal, helping him up.

Hawke caught him on the other side, and Aspen moved in to make sure he was ok.

He wasn't, so he avoided answering, and we all let him.

When Hawke suggested using the elevator to get down to the first floor, Pascal readily accepted.

So Aspen and I joined them. We took the car down first. Hawke and Pascal got off, then I pushed the button for the fourth floor, following Ms. Rhodes' orders. The queen needed to be protected, and I honestly didn't mind at all.

"You know we're on the wrong hall, right?" Aspen asked.

I shrugged. "I also know there's a way to cut through the lounge." Then I winked at her. "I've spent some time on the girls' side of the building in my term here."

Which made her giggle. "Keir, you slut, you!"

"I try," I admitted. "You also handled that well."

She shrugged. "I knew Rain and Jack would be right behind me."

"Yeah, and Torian was making a gate before I even knew anything was wrong," I admitted. "He all but dragged me through it, too. Guess sharing first period with him is working out for me."

"And for him," she said as the car stopped.

So I gestured for her to go first, holding the doors so they wouldn't try to close, but she waited for me on the other side. When she looped her arm through mine, I liked it. Well, of course I did. Aspen was a beautiful girl, and so nice, it was hard to believe she and Torian were related.

Still, this girl made me feel comfortable with all of this.

She'd been the one to get me wrapped up in the court's mess, making it easy for me to stay and hard to even consider leaving.

Somehow, Aspen had learned to be the kind of leader everyone wanted: the sort who didn't look like she was leading even as we all followed.

"So, do you think we'll get the rest of the day off?" I asked.

"Possibly," she said. "In truth, Ms. Rhodes isn't worried about our grades. She'll make us learn more next semester if we have to, or even mandate summer classes to fill any gaps we get. Mostly, she just wants Tor and me to be protected."

"Seems to me like that's not going so well," I pointed out.

"It was worse before I came to Silver Oaks," she said, guiding me across the lounge to her hall. "The Hunt was a constant threat. There were also people who would've kidnapped me, or so my guardian said. Supposedly, I'd earn a high price as a bounty."

"Here, they just try to kill you," I countered.

She giggled, the sound too light for our conversation. "But I can handle that," she reminded me. "Well, Torian could at first, but I can now. Then there was Hawke, and Wilder too. Now you and Rain!"

"And I will protect you," I assured her. "See, I have a bit of a hero complex. My mom says it's because I want to fit in. Dad thinks I'm a sucker for the attention. Maybe a bit of both?"

"Or maybe you're just a hero," Aspen offered. Then she gasped, stretching her legs a bit. "Oh! I also need you to make a new friend!"

"Ok?" And now I was confused.

But she opened the door to her room and dragged me inside. Without stopping or letting me go, and using a flick of her hand to close the door behind us, she hauled me to the shelves by the bathroom.

There, a pot held a wispy-looking vine. The leaves were a purplish color with yellow spots scattered randomly on them. The markings were no bigger than a pea, and many were smaller, but the thorns with matching yellow tips made me realize what this was.

"Another Monarch's Assassin?" I asked.

The biggest grin took over her face. "Keir, this is Spot. He's a warm-climate variant, but compatible with Spike. Rain named him."

"Hello, Spot," I said, reaching up toward the vines. "I'm Keir Delaney, Defender of the Morrigan, and Knight of Earth Magic. It's a pleasure to be in your presence. I hope I'm acceptable?"

The plant began to twine around my index finger. It was still small when compared to Spike, but larger than most of the other plants in here. I just had one question about him.

"Aspen, why isn't he by the door?"

"I have to get a bigger pot for that," she admitted. "Someone could kick this one and he'd break. Still, from here, he can hit anything in the room with a thorn."

"Then here is a good place," I said, caressing a leaf again. "Take care of our queen, Spot."

"You need plants too," Aspen said as she headed across the room. "I want to make you some, but I don't really know what you like."

"The kind I won't kill," I admitted, trailing after her. "I think I spend more time in everyone else's rooms, but I love the way it smells in here."

"Yeah?" she asked, turning back to face me.

I caught her shoulders, rubbing them gently. "It smells perfect, even better than the atrium." But her brow had just creased. "Aspen?" I asked, worried I'd said the wrong thing.

She clutched her hands together between us. "Do you, um..." And she quickly pressed her lips together. "I mean, we were talking about it, right?"

"About what?"

"You. Guys. All of it!" she said, looking anywhere but at me.

"Which part?" I asked, pretty sure she'd left half of that in her head.

"About Torian not realizing he likes guys, and me being a freak who only likes girls, and maybe he does, or maybe it's me, and I don't know how to know because I've never tried, but I thought that - I mean, it's you."

"I am me," I agreed, still trying to figure out where she was going with this. "But what about it?"

"I kinda want to try kissing a guy," she whispered, the words almost too soft to hear.

"Not Tor, of course, because that's gross.

But Hawke's his best friend, and that would just be weird.

Wilder's my duke, and I don't know if that would mess things up.

Besides, he probably wouldn't like it. But, I mean, what if I'm wrong?

What if I do like guys? And you're Rain's boyfriend, so that's a bad idea, but I just thought, like, since we're in here alone, and no one would need to know, but I couldn't keep from telling Rain, so never mind. It's a dumb idea."

"Aspen, I'll kiss you if that's really what you want," I said quickly. "No weirdness either. Just a thing between friends."

"But..." She looked up, her cold blue eyes so nervous. "What about Rain?"

"I am sure Rain won't care," I told her. "She's made that clear many times."

And Aspen's teeth locked on her lower lip. "Is this... I mean, am I just being dumb?"

So I caught the side of her neck. "Look, the only way to know what you like is to try it. That's true for so many things, from food to friends to hobbies. Aspen, there's nothing wrong with experimenting." I found a smile taking over. "And I promise not to be offended if it's horrible."

"But, maybe you can kiss me?" she asked, relaxing finally. "I don't know how to kiss a guy."

"Ok," I said, shifting closer. "Tell me when you're ready."

She pulled in a deep breath and looked up, but her eyes were already closed. "I'm ready."

With my free hand, I lifted one of hers to my chest, placing it so she could keep some distance between us. The other moved up to her cheek, and as I leaned in, I checked her face, making sure she wasn't bracing or scared.

Then my lips touched hers and I let my eyes close too.

The first brush of our mouths was soft, barely even a real touch, yet Aspen immediately leaned in.

When her mouth parted, I took the invitation, exploring her mouth as gently as I could.

When her tongue bumped mine, I thought she might even be ok with this.

She kissed back, testing me, but there was something awkward about it. I couldn't quite find the rhythm with her, and she certainly wasn't relaxing into me. If anything, her fingers were tense on my chest, not pushing - but definitely not pulling, either.

So I pulled away and opened my eyes. Before me, Aspen had her nose wrinkled just a bit and that crease in her brow was even deeper. Oddly, she didn't step back or pull away.

"Well?" I asked.

And her eyes jumped open, hitting mine. "Um..."

"Just tell me you're not in love with me now or something?"

And the smallest giggle broke free. "No, I mean..." She grimaced. "Keir, that was so bad!"

"I know!" I agreed in relief. "Aspen, I don't know how to break this to you, but either you really aren't into me, or you just don't like men at all."

"But you're cute!" she said.

"And still a man."

"Yeah, that was... I mean, no offense, but that's gross. You're all clunky and massive. Not sexy!"

"And you kiss weird," I teased, heading over to flop down on her bed. "It's like you don't know where to put your hands, and your lips don't work with mine."

"Because they're big honkin' man lips!" she laughed, tossing herself down so she was lying diagonally with her head on my chest and her face looking up at the ceiling. "And your hands are huge! But I understand what Rain was saying now."

"Which part?" I asked.

"About how men take when they kiss. You definitely demand, and it's weird." She turned her head so she could see me. "Not my thing."

"So I know just how we can fix this," I said. "How about we never kiss again unless you need a pretend boyfriend or something? I mean, I can fake it, and I can certainly pretend I have two girlfriends if that makes the whole room thing easier, but I'm pretty sure we're just buds, right?"

"Buds works for me," she said with a smile. But then she sighed, turning to look at the ceiling again. "And Keir?"

"Mm?"

"I like you more for making me not feel weird about that. It's not the sort of thing most people would do."

I shifted my arm so my hand could rest safely on her stomach. "Aspen, is there a sort of tree that would grow well in a dorm room? Something shorter, so it's not being crushed, and maybe it could have flowers that smell good, or even leaves?"

"Yeah, there's a lot like that," she assured me. "Just depends on what kind of tricks you're willing to deal with. I mean - " Sucking in a breath, she sat up and twisted to look at me. "There's one that makes lube!"

"What?" I couldn't believe that.

"I mean, it's a slick, water-based slime the plant uses as a sap. When a leaf breaks, it oozes out, but in the courts, it was everywhere, so no one needed to ask for supplies, you know?"

I nodded, tugging her back down so she was lying on me again. "It would be cool to have one of those. You know, just in case my friends need it or something."

But she looked over at me again. "There's this feeling in my head, Keir. It's like, this desire to touch you. When you said that the other day, I started thinking that maybe Rain had a point, right? Maybe it was Tor's mind making me avoid guys."

"Which makes sense," I agreed.

"But it's just you," she said. "Not all guys. Not even all pretty guys. It's just you, and it's wrapped up in fear and anxiety. Like this daydream that would ruin everything, but I think that's just normal insecurity."

"Aspen, what are you saying?"

And she smiled. "That if I don't like you, someone in my head definitely does. I just think he won't make the first move."

"I'm not pushing myself on anyone."

But her piercing gaze held me, trapping me in some way.

"You should," she finally said. "I can't think of anyone else who wouldn't take advantage of that.

I'm also sure you won't. Keir, that's why you belong in the court.

You may not have been to Faerie, but I trust you. I trust you as much as I trust them."

I had to wrench my eyes away because her words hit me hard. "So you know, that? It more than makes up for the weird kiss. No plant necessary, Asp."

"I'm still getting you a plant," she told me. "But not as payment. Think of it more as a request."

"Then if anything happens, I'll tell you first."

She turned a bit, almost snuggling into me. "Keir, if anything happens, I'll already know."

"Which is why I made the offer."