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Chapter Thirty-Two

RAIN

T hat girl dying had really bothered Aspen.

I couldn't say the rest of us were immune, but knowing Torian had gated over was more proof than either one realized.

Never mind the way she'd clung to me all night long, even in her sleep.

The next morning, she'd done her best to act like her normal self, but I'd noticed when she paused beside Spike to caress the plant's leaves.

So I walked her all the way to her first class. Jack rode on her shoulder, nuzzling against her neck until we had to split up. When her eyes met mine, they weren't pink-rimmed at all. Instead, her gaze was clear and even. I really hoped that was a good sign, not a bad one.

But as I walked down the stairs that led to the Never, Jack was clacking his beak together like he had something to say. Twice, he ruffled his feathers, but I couldn't exactly ask what his problem was. He'd caw out a word or a pair of words that didn't really help.

And yet, when I was deeper into the halls under the school, I couldn't help myself. "What's wrong, Jack?"

Caw! Then he chattered again. "Queen. General. Rain." And he twisted his head at me as if that should say enough.

It didn't. "I'm not following, Jack."

"Rain-General. Rain-Queen." He was even keeping his voice down. "Rain-General. Queen-Bitch!"

"Ms. Rhodes and I need to deal with Aspen because she's a bitch?" I guessed.

He shook his head just as I opened the door and entered my normal room. "Rain-General. Queen!"

Ms. Rhodes turned to look at us. "What about Aspen?" she asked.

And Jack nodded. "Rain! Rain!" And he nodded again, almost as if encouraging me.

So I dropped my tablet on the table and slid into the chair I always used. Lifting a hand, I made it clear I wanted that coffee Ms. Rhodes always brought. She passed it over, and the moment my fingers closed on the cup, I started talking.

"Torian gated into Aspen's room last night when she was having a shower.

He never does that, and he's always careful to check before using that one, so it makes me think there's a problem.

Then, all evening she was just a little too quiet.

She didn't even ask me about Keir, and that's not normal.

She always picks on me about him. But when we went to sleep.

.." I paused, pointedly taking a long drink to make it clear I'd accepted her offer.

"She held onto me like she was scared. I think yesterday freaked her out more than she wants to admit. "

Ms. Rhodes nodded her head and leaned back.

"It's good that you told me, Rain." Then she let her eyes close and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"She's only eighteen years old. Little more than a toddler to me.

I know she's more than that, but she's so young.

Too young to be dealing with all of this - but our children haven't had the luxury of peaceful lives in a few decades. "

"Yeah," I breathed, guessing that had to be hard for everyone.

"From what I understand," she went on, "Aspen didn't see her mother or guardian die.

They simply vanished. I'm not saying that's better, because it leaves its own sort of mark on the mind.

To worry a loved one will run out for groceries and never return?

" Ms. Rhodes shook her head, proving what she thought of it.

"But with the girl yesterday, Aspen secured the scene.

Rain, she saw Carol's body, felt the traces of the magic that had been used to kill her, and then had to focus around it. "

"So kinda like me sticking a sword in a hunter who didn't just walk away?" I asked.

She murmured like that wasn't quite right.

"More like you racing to stop the Huntsman only to reach the gate a moment too late.

" And her eyes met mine, holding my gaze.

They were deep green. Dark, like cedar trees in shadow.

"You felt the responsibility of it, and the failure - even though it was a victory.

You were fine, so you should've been happy, but not all wins are joyous ones. "

"Is this going to mess her up?" I asked. "And should I ask her to talk to Liam? Or him to talk to her?"

Ms. Rhodes just lifted a hand. "I'll handle that. It's easy enough to pull her out of an afternoon class to spend the hour with him."

"Just not botany," I said. "I think she'd take it wrong."

"That is a very good point," Ms. Rhodes conceded. "But how are you handling all of this?"

And I shoved out a heavy breath before glancing at the wall. "I don't really know."

"Give me a little more than that?"

My shadow was normal, so I turned to look at the dean again. "Tag said the Children of the Exodus call themselves The Silent, but I've never heard them use it."

"They do," Ms. Rhodes assured me, looking a little confused at my change in subject.

Yet I had a point with all of this. "Ok, but do all of them use it?

Or could it be more that some of our terrorists are the elite of the Children of the Exodus?

I don't know, like the assassins of the group?

Their terrorist supercell? Or maybe The Silent just end up as Children of the Exodus for some unrelated reason?

I'm not even sure what analogy would be right, but I'm guessing most of the kids at that table aren't ready to commit murder at the drop of a hat. "

"We can't be sure of that," she pointed out. "A girl hit Aspen over the head with a tablet, Rain. She'd never caused a problem before."

"And she used a tablet, " I repeated. "That's not exactly the most lethal weapon.

To me, it seemed more like the sort of shit Harper pulled.

Bullying, or trying to make herself look tough, like she fit in, or something else.

Cracking Aspen's skull with a school-issued tablet's just weird all the way around - and nothing like crushing a girl and hanging her in a tree with magic. "

"Vines," Ms. Rhodes corrected, "but likely magical ones, so your point stands."

"But what if the terrorists are a subset of the Children of the Exodus?

" I asked. "I mean, look at the Amish. They keep to themselves, have their own communities, and do things differently.

That doesn't make them evil, right? Most people don't hear 'Amish' and think 'dangerous.

' But when we talk about Muslims, there's always that whole terrorism thing hanging over all of them.

Not because all Muslims are terrorists, but because it's so stupidly easy to blame the whole group when we don't know the individual.

I mean, just look at what people say about Winter, even though the most horrendous fae I've heard of is the Queen of Summer! "

"Which is a good point," Ms. Rhodes agreed.

I nodded, glad she understood. "But isn't preventing that part of what I'm supposed to do?

And it was Aspen who said something last night about how they might not be the bad guys, and I've been thinking about it since.

I'm supposed to bring balance. That's what the Morrigan does.

It's a concept so big I can't even understand it.

" I paused to lick my lips. "And what if I fail? "

"Rain, history is written by the victor," Ms. Rhodes assured me.

"There are more Summer students here than anything else, which means those of us from Summer don't want to call ourselves evil.

And yet, those who have felt the pain of war always want the other side to be the bad guys.

For Summer, that's Winter. For Winter, it's Summer. "

"And yet it's not!" I broke in. "That's what I'm trying to wrap my head around.

Bracken's Summer, but he's my Zez. You're Summer, but you seem like you're on our side.

Poppy Hawthorne's been helping, and I mean, Nevaeh.

She's from the Summer Court, but inherited Winter magic.

That's just fucked up for her, so does she end up a bad person to everyone? "

Ms. Rhodes reached for her own coffee. "I don't know. I also won't tell you it's going to be ok, because I can't be sure of that."

"But what if the Children of the Exodus are the same way, Ms. Rhodes?

They want to make a new sanctuary on Earth while keeping their culture.

You know, kinda like most immigrants to America.

We like to remember our family's traditions, even if they aren't common, right?

But this mess? It's all pointing at them.

It's almost like it's designed to make us attack them - and I mean the court this time. "

"What would that do?" Ms. Rhodes asked. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but I can't find the advantage it would give anyone."

"It would keep you from looking for whoever is really doing this," I said. "It would make Torian seem a lot like his mother, wiping out entire groups because of the group they're in, not the person they are. And - "

Movement made both of us look over to the wall to see my shadow pointing at me. When it realized it had our attention, it lifted its thumb.

"Do you know the answer, Shadow?" Ms. Rhodes asked it.

Shadow slowly shook its head.

So I twisted to see Jack where he sat on the back of the chair beside me. "Do you?"

"Jack!" he huffed. "Morrigan! Jack-Rain-Shadow." Then he flapped. "Enemy-Jack." He shook his head at that.

"Which means he doesn't know everything," I told Ms. Rhodes.

"I would be shocked if he did," she assured me.

"Foresight is common among wildlings, but usually only in the immediate area, or moments before an incident.

Proximity of some kind, at any rate." She leaned back again, using one hand to turn her mug on the table.

"Rain, you should also know I've been researching Morrigans. "

"Why?" Because I could easily think of a million reasons, and I was curious which one she was interested in.

"Because your situation seems unique. In the past, the Morrigan would often learn to take the shape of a flock of crows as an escape. He or she didn't travel with the crows - let alone the Crow King or Crow Prince. Then, of course, there's Shadow."

And on the wall, Shadow made a circling gesture, like reversing a wheel. As I watched, it kept going, and going, and going, sliding across the lit section of the wall. Only when it reached the corner did it stop.

"So I need to look at very ancient history?" Ms. Rhodes asked.

Shadow nodded.

"And what do I do?" I asked. "Aspen's clearly bothered by that girl being killed. I mean, I get it. She probably feels like she could be next. Torian's angry at the world, but that's normal. Hawke's been a little tense lately since Pascal accidentally saw his wings."

"He what?!" Ms. Rhodes snapped, sitting up quickly. "When?"

"Um, at practice. It was a bit ago. Pascal promised - yes, the magical kind - that he wouldn't say anything, and I don't think he has."

"No, but not saying anything is not the same as not exposing it."

"I think he said share," I admitted. "You'd have to ask Hawke, but both he and Wilder seemed ok with it, and I'd expect Wilder to know about loopholes like that."

Ms. Rhodes relaxed a bit. "You're right, he would. But how did this happen?"

I scrunched up my face. "I tried to give him some magic. He said it's like sucking on a fire hose. I kinda blew his wings out right as Pascal walked in."

"Shit," Ms. Rhodes grumbled.

The profanity from her made me lift a brow. She saw, chuckled, and waved me down, but still. This woman didn't typically curse as much as I did.

"I still have the mouth of a soldier at times," she admitted. "However, I can let my guard down this one hour only, so forgive me for enjoying it."

"Nope, use all the bad words you want," I told her.

Which earned me a little smile. "But I will not only make sure Aspen has the chance to speak with the counselor here, I will also check in with Torian.

Between the two of them, I think we can make sure their mental health is as protected as their physical, but I want you to be careful too, Rain. How's your bracelet?"

I looked at the leather cuff I constantly wore. "Full, I think. I mean, the sentinels hit me with magic often enough that I have a ton to put into it. I get laughed at each time I miss a block, so I figure it's a win-win, right?"

"So this week, try pulling power from it," she told me. "Start gently, but if you can manage both, then I think we need to bind your sword to something you tend to have on you."

"Yeah," I said. "Sadly, I agree. I want to say I hope I'll never use it, but I think we both know that would be a lie."

"Which is why I didn't offer it first," she said. "Let's just hope that when you do need it, you use it well."

"Yeah," I said, hating that it was the best we could do.

But a girl had died. My friends had exposed themselves. The bad guys were vowed to silence in a way that couldn't be broken, which meant we were getting nowhere. They were silent because they'd planned to get caught. It was their way of guaranteeing we couldn't stop them.

Which meant there was someone pulling the strings who didn't want us to know about them. One way or another, we had to figure out who that was.