Page 7

FINN

“Duuuuuude.” Dylan popped around the back corner of The Pointe, his breath clouding in the frigid air. “We got fifteen minutes ’til dessert time. If I don’t haul your ass back in five, Marci is gonna light us both on fire.” Sinking lower into his puffy coat, he leaned against the wall next to Finn, who’d been zoned out, staring at the sky.

“Sorry, man.” Finn cracked his neck. He wasn’t cold. He wasn’t much of anything lately. He didn’t tend toward sadness or depression but after finding Ollie and feeling that brief connection, the lack of it made him feel even lonelier. The world around him seemed to run on an old film reel, winding around and around day after day, most of it colorless and without sound. Sure, that first kiss had made Finn feel good for months, which meant that the blowjob should repel his solitude for much longer, right?

Wrong. Getting dumped in the middle of it canceled the whole thing out. Finn had been, for lack of a better word, gutted. It was silly; for the amount of time they’d spent together he shouldn’t be in this deep.

But he was. He’d been in deep since the kiss in the car when Ollie’s soft lips had branded Finn’s heart. He didn’t believe in love at first sight but maybe there was something to love at first kiss. But it didn’t matter; Ollie wasn’t going to talk to Finn ever again simply because he wasn’t gay. Finn thought that reasoning was stupid and had picked up the phone countless times to tell Ollie exactly that, but he couldn’t bring himself to press the button. There was a small chance Ollie might reconsider but a greater chance that Finn would end up hurting even more.

“Spill it, dude. It’s been like, weeks n’ you’re acting like your dog died.” Dylan gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. “Did your dog die?” The words were muffled against his palm.

That made Finn huff a small laugh. Out of everyone at The Pointe, he worked with Dylan the most and since they had matching laid-back personalities, Marci had dubbed them Bill and Ted. Together they took care of odds and ends, keeping The Pointe humming at peak velocity. Finn hadn’t meant to abandon his duties but, after helping with setup, it had been too much for him to see the bride and groom happy and in love so he’d escaped, getting some air on the far side of the building away from everything. It was supposed to be a breather but he must’ve been gone for longer than he thought if Dylan had to hunt him down.

“Naw. I got dumped.”

“Oooohhh.” Dylan dropped his hand, nodding sagely. “Super bummer.”

Turning his eyes back to the wintery gray sky, Finn sighed. “Dylan, do you think sexuality matters?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean like, if you’re attracted to someone does it matter if you’re gay or straight? Can’t I just…” Finn shrugged in frustration, looking at Dylan again. “Can’t I just like them? What’s the big deal?”

“Hmmmm.” Dylan put a finger on his chin, clearly in thought. “Well, I’m pan, right? When someone likes me, I don’t care what’s on their resume, yanno?”

“Exactly.”

“Buuuut. That’s my deal. Everyone’s got their own thing. And if their thing doesn’t match yours?” Dylan shook his head. “Then it ain’t meant to be.”

Finn didn’t like that advice because it was true.

“I guess…” He let out another long mournful sigh, not wanting to let go of Ollie, which was the crux of his problem. One part of him kept saying give it one more try while another part said this is ridiculous, you need to move on. He couldn’t figure out what to do, and it was bringing his brain to a clustered standstill. Although he’d spoken to Dylan, he hadn’t brought anything up with Owen aside from the fact that it didn’t work out and he wanted to get on with his life. Thankfully, Owen knew when not to push.

He wished he had more friends, someone else to talk to. As he aged, Finn wondered if his loneliness was a curse and it certainly felt like one at times like these, when he could use a wider support system. Finally, his brain decided to take pity on him and unsnarled, giving him a boon.

“Ellie? …She was super cool, I should call her. She has a good head on her shoulders, maybe I could bounce this off her.”

Dylan jumped, putting a hand on the earpiece of his headset and turning his microphone on. Finn’s was on the ground next to his feet, but he knew who was speaking and what she was saying since Dylan’s eyes got wider and wider.

“Okay. Yeah. We’ll be right there.” Turning the headset off, he pushed away from the wall, gesturing for Finn to follow. “We gotta go. Marci wasn’t kidding about setting us on fire, I know what a barbecue lighter sounds like and she was clicking one in the background. Why is she so scary, man?”

“She’s definitely an alien or a vampire or something. Have you ever seen her move? It’s not right.” Squatting down to retrieve his headset, Finn donned it once again.

“For real.” Dylan breathed out hard, his cheeks puffing. “She’s way too fast.”

“Don’t worry, if it comes to burning us alive, she’ll go for me first and you’ll have a chance to escape.” They made their way around the building, toward the side door. The reception was almost over; Finn could get through the rest of it. Strangely, his conversation with Dylan helped, even if it was just to get his problems out.

“Nice one, Bill,” Dylan laughed.

“No, you’re Bill.” Finn pointed at Dylan. “I’m Ted.”

Dylan crossed his arms. “I never get to be Keanu Reeves.”

Finn had to wait until the following day to call Ellie since the wedding reception had run into overtime and he’d gotten home at an hour unfit for contact. The next morning, he took a few hours to clear his head, using the workout bike in his spare room and then enjoying a light breakfast while wrapped in his quilt, gently swaying in his hammock on the back porch. The private fenced-off yard with the small garden and exquisite deck was the major reason Finn had bought the townhouse, the minor ones being that it had three bedrooms, a basement, and a garage. More than enough space for him and his uncle, and Finn had tried a few more times over his recent visits to get the man on board with moving closer, but Joe had given him a firm no whenever he’d brought it up. If he pushed any more, then his uncle would start to get mad.

For a few weeks, Finn had considered selling his place and going back to his childhood home but it was in the middle of nowhere, the commute to The Pointe would kill him, Owen had recently moved close by, and Ollie had just come back into his life.

Ollie, whose tears pierced Finn’s heart. Ollie, who was gorgeous, funny, and charming. Ollie, the first man Finn had ever kissed.

The man Finn wanted back.

When he felt like he’d procrastinated enough, Finn readied himself and selected Ellie’s number. They’d spoken a few times since their breakup. She was a direct person to the point of bluntness and Finn never had doubts about what she wanted. Dating her had been refreshing; he’d known exactly what to expect and hadn’t gotten his hopes up so, when it ended, it had been amicable on both sides.

U UP? No seriously, it’s Finn. Let me know when you’re good for a phone call. I need your expert advice.

It didn’t take long for her to respond. HI FINN!

Hello you little hellion. I hope life has been good to you. He was waiting for a reply when the phone rang in his hand.

“Elizabeth,” he said very sternly.

“Oh my fucking god don’t do that you asshole, you sound like my dad.” Even though she was stern, her voice was still low and sultry. She would make a killing in audiobooks but wanted to be an author instead, going for her master’s in creative writing.

“Well, you did call me daddy that one time,” he teased.

“That was your idea, dipshit. Or should I say ”That was your idea, Daddy.”” She inflected the final word like someone was force-feeding her mud and Finn chuckled. Ellie was many things but she was certainly not boring. “Anyway, why are you bothering me this early?”

“It’s noon.” Finn checked his watch.

“You know I am a creature of the night,” she deadpanned.

“True, true, but I need your assistance.”

She gave him a dramatic sigh. “I guess I could help you out since you are the favorite of all my exes.”

“Of course, I’m the favorite.” Finn grinned into the phone.

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Me? Never.”

“Anyway, what is your problem, Finn? Can’t get it up?” Her voice wavered with stifled laughter.

“No,” Finn scoffed. “I met a guy, okay?”

“So? You met a gu-” She took in a quick, high-pitched gasp. “You met a guy? Oh my god. Wow. Wow. I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“I didn’t expect it to happen it just…” He ran a hand through his hair, the hammock swinging beneath him. “Happened.”

“Well, you must really like him if you’re calling me to ask about it. But why me?”

“Because I don’t want to rehash it with my friend, I mean, my friends.” Finn didn’t want to reveal that while he was the Favorite Ex, she was his Favorite Acquaintance right now, tied with Liam and Dylan, and there was no way he was going to talk to Liam about this. “And you have a good head on your shoulders.”

“When you’re right, you’re right,” she declared. “Does the question have to do with your sexuality?”

“In a way, yes. I’m fine with it but he isn’t.”

“He isn’t what?”

“Fine with me being not-straight for him.” Finn sighed. His long internal struggle about labels had been instantly crushed by Ollie’s one rule. Absently reaching under the collar of his shirt, he pulled out his mother’s ring again, twisting it between his fingers.

“That kind of sucks.” Her tone held a rare sympathy. “I mean, he probably has his reasons. Maybe he’s gotten hurt by straight men before. It happens, even to people I know and love.”

“Huh, okay.” Finn still thought the whole thing was stupid. “But I’m not gonna lie, it hurts. Even though we were only at the beginning, I fell hard and fast. Then he found out I was straight and kicked me out of his place. Usually, I would fuck off but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him and I don’t know what to do. Should I try again? Should I give up?”

“Hmm…”

“What?”

“You’re invested. We dated for what? A few months? And I don’t think you liked me half this much.”

Finn blinked in shock, dropping the ring, and it bounced against his chest, over the quilt. “That’s not true.”

“Listen, you’re a great guy. We had fun. But whenever we were together you seemed…” Finn’s eyebrows rose as she paused. “Solitary.”

“I thought I was an open book.” Finn was pretty curious about how others saw him. He’d gone through a long is it me? phase during high school and college, but the ease with which he made surface friends and his kinship with Owen showed him that it wasn’t his personality, just a curse. Had he somehow pissed off a witch in a previous life?

“I mean, you were. But there was something that kept us frommmm…” She dragged out the word.

“Connecting?”

Ellie let out a breath. “Yeah. I’m honestly happy for you, that you met someone who can get in there.”

“Well, it doesn’t mean anything if he doesn’t want me due to a technicality,” Finn mumbled.

“He kicked you out of his place?” Her question was sharp, quick-fire.

“Yeah.” Finn rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

“Was he mean? Angry?”

Finn didn’t want to comb through the memory but he did, opening his eyes and staring up at the short overhang of his roof. “He was upset, holding back tears.”

“So, he felt something for you too?”

Finn nodded as if she could see him. “I believe so.”

“How long has it been?”

“About three weeks.”

“Has there been any contact since he broke it off?”

“No.” Finn shook his head, vowing to FaceTime for the next call.

“Hmm…” She went silent again. Finn absently tracked a brown bird with a huge white belly as it hopped around the yard. “Give him until the holidays. It makes people sentimental, or just mental. See if he calls you. If he doesn’t and you still feel the same? Then text him one more time. Whatever the answer is? That’s final. And if you’re lucky enough to run into him somewhere? Plead your case like you’re in court. Worst he can say is no.”

“Uh. Okay. Yeah.” Finn nodded, this time at himself as he realized that was a solid plan. “That’s really helpful, thank you.”

“I live to serve. Actually, I’m kidding, you should pay me.”

“How about I take you out for coffee and if it doesn’t work out, I can tell you all about it. If it does, then you can meet him.” Finn hoped beyond hope that it was the latter.

“Yes. To anything post-holidays. I am currently ass-deep in final projects and once I’m done with them, I’m drinking until New Year’s Day.”

“Sounds like you’ll deserve it.” Finn smiled. “Thank you again for the advice.”

“I wish you luck. May the evil gods be with you.” Her voice softened. “Keep in touch, you wanker.”