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OLLIE

Ollie wanted to leave.

When he’d gotten the invitation to August and Josh’s wedding, Ollie had been excited. The event was expected to be a mini high school reunion and the angel on Ollie’s shoulder had wanted to see everyone again while the devil had wanted to show off. For Ollie was no longer the invisible gay kid who didn’t know how to dress; over the last three years he’d grown a couple of inches, gotten fitter, studied makeup, and tamed his frizzy curls, becoming Olleelicious - the sassy fashionista with tons of online followers who adored him. He was proud of the changes he’d made and this was a chance for him to display his hard work on a different stage than social media.

And the event had started off just as he’d predicted. His former classmates had fawned over him, shocked at his transformation, and Ollie had basked in the attention, laughing and enjoying their company, truly glad to reconnect with them. However, as the hours spun by and joy filled the air, a familiar dread began to loom over him, making him feel stuck, moored to the chair he was in.

“Ollie!” Nick, a former tennis teammate, strode over to the table, a tall blonde trailing behind him. Most of the other guests were up dancing so Ollie had been sitting alone, scrolling through his various accounts while trying to ignore the binding anxiety that held him down. “You remember Claire, right?” They took a seat on either side of him.

“I do. We took Spanish together.” Ollie held out his hand and they shook. She had flushed cheeks and a perpetual smile that showed she’d taken advantage of the open bar.

“Sí!” she giggled. “You look amazing, Ollie, I didn’t recognize you. I thought Nick was lying. How much weight did you lose?”

Ollie tried not to cringe. The amazing was fine but he was surprised at how many people asked intrusive questions about his body. “Oh, you know, a few pounds.”

“Are you doing Keto?”

“It’s my own plan.”

“By the way, is it true? Did you really see Liam Gray?” Thankfully she changed the subject but Ollie didn’t like the new topic either. He nodded stiffly.

“He works here, at The Pointe. I think he’s a server but I haven’t seen him again.” Ollie had been taking selfies in the bathroom during the cocktail hour, trying to find the best lighting, when Liam had stumbled in, the same Liam who’d disappeared three years ago after his parents died in a car accident. Ollie had wondered and worried about him, so he’d been beyond pleased to run into Liam again, hugging him and snapping a few photos before noticing that Liam had changed too, but not for the better. He had looked harried and pale like he’d been through hell and back, and he’d scampered off before Ollie could talk to him any further.

“I guess he’s hiding from us.” Nick shrugged. “Show her the pic.”

“I deleted it.” Too many of his old classmates had gawked at the post, making Ollie uneasy, like he’d invaded Liam’s privacy, so he removed it.

“Aww,” Nick pouted.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the grooms are about to cut the cake.”The MC’s booming voice echoed across the room.

“I have to see this!” Claire stood, smoothing down her long green dress. “It was good catching up, Ollie. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Same.” Ollie brought up his Instagram profile and showed it to her. “Follow me on Insta. I’m Olleelicious.”

“Oh my god, that’s a lot of followers! Wow!” She whipped her phone out of her purse and added one more to that number.

Ollie immediately followed her back. “They’re only after my makeup and hair tutorials.”

“I’m going to have to watch those and pick up some tips because you look fabulous.”

“Thank you, hun. Right back ‘atcha.”

The crowd on the dance floor started singing “The groom cuts the cake,” and with a wave, Claire and Nick wandered off, leaving Ollie alone again. Watching from afar, he studied the happy couple. August and Josh were practically glowing, their wide smiles soaked in delight, and as they simultaneously fed each other a forkful of cake, following it up with a kiss, the dread inside Ollie started to build, thickening the chains that anchored him down.

Happiness, love, and contentment are beautiful but also temporary; eventually, all good things come to an end. It happened to Liam, it will happen to August, and at some point, tragedy will come for Ollie; it’s only a matter of when and where. Ollie didn’t know how everyone made it day to day without noticing the Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads, for he spent most of his time bracing for impact, waiting for his turn at misfortune.

Going in for another sip of champagne, Ollie found his glass empty. Shit. How many calories was that? And how much had he eaten already? He’d had a few crackers at the cocktail hour, a plain salad with no croutons or dressing, and he’d picked at the main course. That was already far too much and this was his second glass of champagne.

He needed to stop.

Taking a deep breath, he gritted his teeth and broke through the shackles of his dread, using everything he could to stand. A little dizzy from the change in position, he braced himself on the shifting tablecloth but, once he was steady, he headed for the door. He’d gone to the ceremony at the park and stayed for two-thirds of the reception; he was allowed to slip out. Tomorrow he’d text the grooms and send them his love.

Making his way to the foyer, Ollie stopped and looked around. The walls were a soft after-snowfall white, complimenting the marble floor, which had large veins of gray running through it. A curved staircase took up most of the left side of the room, winding around a low-hanging empire chandelier that belonged in The Phantom of the Opera. Ollie peered beyond it, studying all the servers as he tried to find Liam again, but he came up empty. Maybe Nick was right, maybe he was hiding from everyone. But Ollie would return to find Liam again and be his friend because it looked like he needed one. Although Ollie had been invisible in high school, a few people had taken the time to acknowledge him and Liam was one of those people; Ollie wanted to pay that back.

Opening his rideshare app, Ollie requested a driver, heading outside. He had five minutes to walk the grounds and burn off a little of his indulgence before his car showed up.

It was a clear and balmy midsummer night but he still felt a bit chilly. And maybe a bit tipsy. He rarely drank and alcohol hit his lighter body much harder, so two glasses on a mostly empty stomach was doing the trick. Leaving the main entrance, he walked past clusters of smokers and continued down the long driveway until his phone beeped again. Checking the app, he looked up from the dot that was his driver as a compact SUV turned off the main road in front of him.

Ollie waved his phone and the car pulled over, the doors unlocking as the passenger-side window rolled down.

“Ollie?” The way the man said his name made a shiver ripple up Ollie’s spine and he peered into the car, immediately biting his lip to keep his jaw from dropping. The driver was hot. He had deep chestnut eyes and hair, a well-sculpted five o’clock shadow, and a swimmer’s build. The only drawback was his sense of style, for he dressed like he’d just rolled out of bed after a long night of band practice, with a faded tour T-shirt, ripped jeans, and Converse sneakers, but Ollie wouldn’t hold that against him too much.

“Yes.” Ollie swallowed, trying to find his brain as he glanced at his screen. “Finn?”

“Yep. Hop in. I’ll take you back to…” He studied the phone he had resting in a cradle on the dashboard. “Your hotel.”

Since the wedding was an hour away and Ollie knew he’d be drinking, he’d booked a room. Although he wished he could sleep in his own bed, the hotel had a stellar gym as well as privacy from his parents’ prying eyes, so he’d be fine.

Realizing that he was staring, Ollie jolted into motion and a few seconds later he was in the back of the car, slumping with a sigh, his eyes on the window as Finn U-turned, taking them west without another word.

Unfortunately, once Ollie’s dread bubbled up it was difficult to simmer down and his thoughts ran wild in the silence. On paper, Ollie had a great life. Loving parents who were still together, two older sisters and a younger brother who were friends as well as siblings, good health, a budding career in social media, and an online presence that people envied. But one thing could send it all crashing down. An accident. An illness. A stalker. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wished that fortune tellers were real so he’d know the exact date that his life would fall apart. He’d never spoken to anyone about his troubles because he knew it would sound silly saying it aloud and he’d probably be told to relax, to not worry about things until they happen. But if he didn’t prepare, then the emotional upheaval would be significantly heavier, more than he could bear.

“Are you okay?”

Ollie had been staring at his hands, which had gone blurry, and when he looked up he realized that they’d stopped at a red light and Finn was staring at him in the rearview mirror. A tear hit Ollie’s wrist and he reached up, touching his wet cheek. When had he started crying?

“Y-Yeah.” Ollie cleared his throat because he certainly didn’t sound okay.

“Are you sure?”

“…aren’t you afraid?” He didn’t know why he asked. Maybe it was the concern in Finn’s gaze; it held no judgment even though Ollie was having a sobfest in the back of the car. Maybe it was the champagne. Or maybe it was because he wanted to know, needed to know, if others saw the brutal end of things too.

“Afraid of what?” Finn’s voice was careful but it had an accepting and curious tone.

“Everything?”

“It’s kind of hard to be afraid of everything.” The light changed to green and they headed along the town’s main strip. Since it was after eleven the roads were lit but empty, and it made Ollie feel like he and Finn were the only people in the world.

“It’s not.” Ollie wiped his eyes but they stung again, more tears forming despite his adamant insistence that they stop. His eyeliner was probably running down his face.

“What kind of things are you afraid of?” Finn put on his left blinker, looking carefully around before turning.

“The future. My parents dying. Something bad happening to me. Or to them. Getting sick. My house burning down with me in it.” Ollie took a shaky breath. “Mimes.”

“Mimes?” Finn let out a soft chuckle.

Ollie’s next breath caught and he choked past a sob. “Th-They’re terrifying.” He was trying to make a joke but it fell flatter than paper.

The turn signal went on again and Finn pulled over, putting the car in park and twisting in his seat. Ollie blinked, not only to swipe away tears but also because Finn was now fully facing him, and he was more stunning than Ollie had realized. His hair was slightly longer in the front, swept effortlessly to the side in a way that highlighted his perfectly proportioned eyebrows, high cheekbones, and long regal nose. He had full kissable lips and a forehead that was crinkled in worry as he stared at Ollie. The slight lines in the corners of his eyes placed him over thirty, perhaps thirty-five, but he had the air and energy of someone who had never let go of his youth. While on some people it might read as immature, on Finn it was comforting and refreshing.

“Hey, don’t cry. I know that the future is scary but it can also be good.” Finn tilted his head, emoting reassurance. He was taking Ollie in stride so this probably wasn’t the first time he’d had an emotional passenger on board.

Ollie cleared his throat again. “Sure…but that good will eventually turn bad.”

“Not necessarily.”

Ollie shook his head. He couldn’t properly enunciate the fear that was lodged in his soul, the way he saw things, how he was trying, in any way he could, to bolster himself for upcoming tragedy. Silence stretched between them, punctuated by Ollie’s sniffles, and closed in on awkward right as Finn spoke up.

“Hey, I know this is weird and really unprofessional but can I take you somewhere? I promise it’s perfectly safe.” He held up his hands as if he were surrendering. “I just…I have a place that I go to when I’m feeling...I think it’ll help.”

“Um...” This gorgeous man wanted to bring him to another location? That was exactly how people got murdered. But Ollie didn’t think Finn could murder anything and he didn’t want to go back to his silent hotel room so he nodded once, sharply, willing to take his chances. “Okay.”

“Great!” Finn clapped his hands and then put the car back in gear. It was a short ten-minute drive and after a few turns, the road got smaller and smaller until it became a dirt path that tossed the SUV around. Gripping the handle above the window, Ollie hung on for dear life, wondering if he’d been wrong. Was he going to be a statistic? Was this the end he’d been anticipating?

Suddenly, the trees around them cleared and the world seemed to open up, presenting a bare cliff bordered by rocks, and a gorgeous view of the town below. Bringing the car close to the edge, Finn shut off the engine and jumped out, going around to Ollie’s door and opening it for him, holding out his hand. The chivalrous gesture made Ollie smile and he slid his fingers along that large warm palm, stepping out of the car and almost bumping into Finn’s chest.

It wasn’t fair. Not only was Finn stunning but he also smelled good. Ollie thought the pine and sandalwood scent from the car was a top-tier air freshener but it had been Finn the entire time. Ollie would need to pick up a cologne with that fragrance because it was enticing.

Leading Ollie by the hand, Finn brought them around the front of the car, and the picturesque landscape spread out before them. Glistening lamps lined the streets, reflecting the twinkling stars above, and store signs gave pops of color among the varying yellow squares of home windows, which fanned out in all directions. Ollie could even see The Pointe in the distance, lit in white, its spire looking over the rest of the town.

“This is beautiful,” Ollie breathed, realizing that his tears had dried. He was even sobering up but he was still dizzy and a little cold, so he leaned on the hood, trying to pull some of its warmth.

The driver’s side door opened and closed and suddenly Ollie had a slight weight on his shoulders, but it wasn’t oppressive; it smelled like piney old denim.

“Oh!” He looked down at Finn’s worn jean jacket, which had seen better days, but was another layer between him and the chill so he’d take it. “Thank you.”

“No problem! Would you like some coffee? I grabbed one from the convenience store before I picked you up. I haven’t drank from it yet so it’s brand new.” Finn held up a large cardboard cup and a paper bag. “But I could drink from it first because you barely know me and I just brought you out to the middle of nowhere.”

That was very kind but for some reason, Ollie trusted Finn. “I think if you were going to murder me you wouldn’t do it while I’m wearing your jacket.”

“Of course! And I wouldn’t want to get this shirt dirty. It’s a classic.” He gestured at his concert T-shirt for a band Ollie had never heard of, but the art indicated that they had been famous sometime in the eighties. “Honestly? I can’t even kill spiders.” Finn shook himself. “I hate them but the little guys don’t deserve to be squished.”

Ollie bit his lip. Could this man be any cuter?

“So, caffeine? I have doughnuts too if you want.” Finn shook the bag.

Ollie wouldn’t touch a doughnut with a ten-foot pole; however, coffee sounded divine as long as there wasn’t any sugar or dairy in it. “Is the coffee black?”

“As my soul.”

Ollie grinned. “My sister says that.”

“One of my exes used to growl it at me whenever I asked.” Finn laughed, handing the cup to Ollie when he reached for it. “You have siblings?”

“Two older sisters and a little brother who’s in his second year of college.” Removing the lid Ollie sniffed it, sampled it, and raised an eyebrow as he warmed up a few degrees. Not bad for late-night corner-store coffee.

“That must be nice.”

“It is. Although that same sister is always butting into my life. She’s a few years older and she acts more like my mom than my mom does.” Ollie took a long sip this time, savoring the taste before swallowing. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”

“Naw, it was only me and my uncle growing up. I kinda always wanted a big family but it’s fine because my uncle is the coolest cat around. Are you sure you don’t want a doughnut?” Finn glanced down at the bag.

“I’ll pass. I’m stuffed from everything I ate at The Pointe.” Ollie watched as Finn tossed the offering back in the car and resumed his spot beside Ollie, a little closer this time. Finn’s body heat was distracting; Ollie had to remind himself to concentrate. “But thank you - again. You’re being super nice to me after I cried in your car.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You looked like you could use a friendly ear and I thought this place would cheer you up.” Finn gestured at the glittering lights below. “In fact, you’re the first person I’ve ever bought here.” For a second, he sounded confused.

Ollie squinted at him. “Liar. I bet you say that to all the girls.” He punctuated the sentence by batting his eyelashes.

Warmth flooded Finn’s gaze, wiping away the confusion, and he laughed. “I’m not lying. I guess I think of this place as mine. I mean, it’s not mine and I’m probably trespassing every time I’m here, but whenever I’m lonely or feeling down, this is where I go. And you seemed down so…” Finn shrugged in this affable way that made Ollie bite his lip and forget about his coffee.

“You feel lonely?” How could someone as handsome, charming, and easygoing as Finn ever feel lonely?

“Sometimes.” Finn looked away, toward The Pointe, and Ollie studied how the wind ruffled his hair. “I come here because I can see the entire town. It reminds me that there’s thousands of towns like this all over the planet, and millions of planets in space.” He looked up at the sky, a soft smile on his face. “I can sense how big the universe is, how much is out there, and I’m a part of that. It helps me feel less alone.”

Ollie held back an incredulous bark of laughter because the vista below didn’t do that for him. Whenever he contemplated the universe and his place in it he only felt an impersonal coldness. In the grand scheme of things he was nothing, a single blip among billions; a list of horrors could happen to him and the universe wouldn’t care, which reinforced that he had little to no control over anything.

“Are you high?” His smile was sweetly sardonic, letting Finn know he meant no harm, and he bumped Finn’s shoulder, using any excuse to press against that much larger and very solid body.

“Not today.” Finn turned his gaze toward Ollie and there was something odd in it. Something like wonder. “But you have to admit that it’s a nice view.”

“It is,” Ollie said automatically, still staring at Finn, who blushed, and Ollie almost dropped the coffee. Was Finn gay? Ollie had been lowkey wondering about that but he had the worst gaydar in existence and had learned his lesson the hard way, leading to his newest rule - no more straight men ever. But Finn might not be straight. To be honest, he’d been more than lovely to Ollie, acting like a perfect gentleman, and parts of the last hour had been perilously close to a date. He might just be a good person or he might be a double threat - both nice and homosexual. But it was probably the former. Ollie had already embarrassed himself, his eyeliner was running, and he wasn’t dating material right now, so he shifted back, removing the jacket and handing it back to Finn. “But I should head back. It’s been a long day and I have to drive home tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Finn blinked and then snapped back to his upbeat self, tossing his keys in the air and catching them. “To the hotel it is! I hoped this helped, even a little.”

“It did.” Ollie smiled at him. Strangely, his dread had pulled away, leaving him with enough breathing room that he wouldn’t need to use the gym until morning, and Ollie wasn’t sure if it was due to the fresh air or the company.

“Good!” Finn gave him a pleased grin as he opened the side door. “Care to join me up front?”

“Sure.” After the side trip and conversation it would be weird to sit in the back again, so Ollie took a big gulp of the coffee and got comfortable in the passenger seat.

“Okay! All aboard!” Finn settled in, starting the car and steering them down the bumpy road once again. It was a lot easier to keep steady in the front but a particularly large pothole had Finn bumping his head on the roof and Ollie flailing as he tried not to spill his drink, and they both erupted into laughter until the tires hit asphalt.

All too soon they were in front of the hotel and Ollie stalled, staring out the window at the glass-enclosed lobby, not wanting to leave the car. When he finally turned, aiming to say goodbye, the word got lodged in his throat. Finn was staring at him again, the wonder in his eyes more heated. On impulse, Ollie leaned closer, licking his lips, and watched as Finn’s attention dropped to his mouth. The air around them grew thick with crackling energy and that was enough of a go-ahead for Ollie.

Closing the gap between them, he pressed his lips to Finn’s.

Finn stiffened for a split second and Ollie hoped that he hadn’t made a huge mistake, if he’d somehow bagged another straight man, but then it was like all of Finn’s bones melted and he went languid, slotting his mouth against Ollie’s with a gasp and running fingers through his curls.

The hair stroking felt divine, and despite the gear shift, Ollie managed to get his arms around Finn’s neck, trying to press against him. Up close he smelled even better; the rich scent of deep forest teased Ollie’s nostrils, making him feel like he was in a remote mountain cabin, writhing around on a bear rug in front of a fire. Wondering if Finn tasted as good as he smelled, Ollie opened his lips, teasing with his tongue and Finn halted once again, pulling a few inches away to stare at Ollie with a strange mix of confusion and desire. But before Ollie could question anything, Finn returned, tangling his tongue with Ollie’s and making their kisses wetter, hotter, until Ollie thought that his cock would rip straight through his pants.

One of Finn’s hands traveled, resting on Ollie’s hip and this time it was his turn to freeze, not wanting anyone to see how imperfect he was. Guilt immediately washed over him, his erection flagging. Why was he leading this man on? Surely Finn thought this was going to go somewhere and Ollie was just being a tease.

“Hey.” A hand cupped his cheek. “Everything okay?”

“Mmm. Y-Yeah.” Ollie pulled back, rubbing his lips and looking away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.” Finn chuckled and when Ollie managed to meet his eyes, he found them dazed, surprised. His lips were slightly swollen, enticing and biteable, and it took everything Ollie had not to dive in for a second round. Because if he did then they would eventually have to go upstairs and Ollie wasn’t okay with that. He should probably leave. Right now.

“Thank you. For tonight. For listening. For taking me to that view.” Ollie tapped the cup that he’d placed in the holder between them. “For the coffee.”

“You’re more than welcome,” Finn murmured, still bewildered. But it was a good bewildered, like he’d been struck by a star. Ollie felt a little smug that he could have such an effect on someone so good-looking. He’d carry that feeling, and the softness of Finn’s lips, with him for as long as he could.

“I have to go.” Ollie opened the door and stepped out but he couldn’t quite leave. Bending, he stuck his head back inside and smiled. “You’re amazing, Finland.”

Finn gave him a sensuous smirk. “I know. And so are you.”