Page 15

FINN

Marci sidled over to Finn, who was sipping a soda at the bar. “I think your husband is drunk.”

“Aren’t you drunk?” he smirked, eyes on her crooked ponytail.

“I’m at maybe a three. But Fashion Plate over there? He’s a five.” She tilted her bottle at Ollie, who was leaning heavily on Liam, taking selfies. It was clear that if Liam were to step aside, Ollie would end up sprawled on the floor. The last picture must’ve been particularly silly, because Ollie burst into loud laughter that caused him to stumble, and Liam held onto him, his birthday crown falling off his head as his wide hazel eyes called out for help.

“Oh boy.” Putting his soda down, Finn grabbed the free pitcher of water and filled up a glass.

“Good call.” Marci toasted him and he rolled his eyes at her, making his way to Ollie. As he approached, the relief that washed over Liam’s features was almost comical.

“Yay! Finn is here!” He nudged Ollie, who looked up at Finn, and his flushed face lit up with joy, making Finn’s heart flutter. Over the years he’d learned to live with his solitude, not accepting it but cohabitating with it, and it was never lost on him that loneliness was his only company. But living without it after so long? Turning in his Lone Wolf badge and getting to have someone else around? And being lucky enough to have that someone be Ollie? Despite all his concerns about Ollie’s health, it was freeing.

“Just Finn!” Ollie launched himself at him but was caught easily, even with his momentum. “I am having the best time.”

Giving Finn a nod and a worried look, Liam took the opportunity to slink away, heading straight to Owen, who was deep in conversation with Dylan and Angelo.

“I bet you are.” Removing Ollie’s party hat, which had ended up around his neck, Finn pressed a kiss to Ollie’s forehead and presented the cup.

“Whasssthiss?” Ollie stared down at it, his forehead cutely wrinkled.

“If you drink this entire glass of water, I will give you a kiss,” Finn declared with a wink.

Ollie continued to stare, and the lines of anxiety began to lose their appeal. After a few awkward seconds, his face cleared and he grabbed the cup. “What the hell, I’m way over calories today anyway.”

Putting the edge to his lips, he took measured swallows. Finn watched him until the glass was empty. “What’s so terrible about water?”

“You think liquids are weightless?” Ollie finished off the cup, putting it on a nearby table, and then leaned forward at Finn, puckering his lips. “Kiss. Now.”

Shaking his head, Finn tried not to laugh. He was tempted to give Ollie a quick peck but he did drink the water, so he deserved a reward. Wrapping an arm around Ollie’s shoulders, Finn placed a hand at his waist and dipped him, kissing him briefly but deeply enough to be considered a reward.

“Get a room!” Marci yelled, and Finn heard applause. Once upright, Ollie had to hold on because his legs didn’t seem to work.

Finn gave him a smug grin. “How about I take you home?”

Ollie waggled his eyebrows. “For more of this?”

“Let’s see how you feel when you get there.” There was zero chance of Finn doing anything with Ollie when he was drunk but Ollie didn’t need to know that.

Liam, always a gem, rushed over with their coats. It took a moment to wrangle Ollie into his, and another to pull Ollie away from Liam once they hugged goodbye, but eventually Finn got them to his SUV.

“I reeeaaalllyyy like you, Finn,” Ollie rambled, his head lolling back and forth. The one water he drank wasn’t going to do much; he was soused.

Finn chuckled. “I really like you too, Sunshine.” He made sure that Ollie was safely buckled up, tilted the seat back so he was more comfortable, and ran around to the driver’s side, getting in.

“Mmm,” Ollie shifted, blinking slowly, like a stoned cat. “Are you sure you like me?”

“Very sure.” Finn glanced down at Ollie before backing out of their parking spot and heading toward the exit. “Why do you ask?”

“Because your eyes are funny lately. Like you wanna ask me something but you’re afraid.” Ollie’s voice was low, sad. “And it made me afraid, so I had a few drinks.”

Finn almost slammed on the brakes. He thought he’d been hiding his doubts, but he’d clearly been failing at that. He truly wanted to sit down and address Ollie’s eating issues but could never find the right time. It didn’t help that Ollie ate normally on occasion, claiming that it was his cheat day, but he was still unsettlingly thin, sending Finn into a spiral and leaving him unsure if he should bring it up and risk losing the person he’d always wanted, or say nothing…

And risk losing the person he’d always wanted.

Owen always said that Finn cared a lot and it made him fearless in his boundaries, and that was true for anyone but Ollie. Because what he had with Ollie was precious, fragile, and Finn’s words needed to be perfect or Ollie would shatter like spun glass.

“Can we discuss that tomorrow?” As usual, now wasn’t the right time. Finn tried to keep his tone light, like it was no big deal when it was the biggest deal ever.

“Discusshh wha?” Ollie’s eyes were half-lidded as he struggled to stay awake.

Happy for the respite, Finn stopped at a light and brushed his hand along Ollie’s cheekbone. “Never mind. Get some rest.”

Ollie didn’t need to be told twice, he was out like a light in under five seconds and Finn drove the rest of the way back in silence. He planned to carry Ollie up to his room and ply him with water but Ollie blinked awake as soon as Finn opened the passenger door. He was still very out of it, so Finn kept him upright, walking him to his room and putting him in the overstuffed orange chair that sat in the corner, where he slumped, barely conscious.

“Hang on, I’m getting you more water.” Finn turned, intending to head downstairs, but he froze when Ollie spoke.

“I’m hungry. Soooo hungry.” There was a deep sadness in those words and they wrapped around Finn’s heart, squeezing it in fear.

“Do you, uh…” Finn swallowed, turning back. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

Ollie’s shoulders shook like he might be laughing but the look on his face was utter disgust. “Noooo. Food is bad.”

An icy chill rippled through Finn’s body. “Why is food bad?”

Ollie gave him a look full of certainty, a blip of mild coherence that broke through the cloud of intoxication. “Because it’ll hold me down and I need to be faster than the end.” Then it was gone, the alcohol taking over once again as Ollie slumped even further in his chair, closing his eyes and laying his head on the armrest.

Sitting down hard on the end of the bed, Finn ran a hand through his hair, his mind spinning.

All of his and Liam’s suspicions were true. Ollie was restricting food past the point of a simple diet, using it as a control. It wasn’t out of the ordinary; many people did unhealthy things to escape negative feelings and Ollie had admitted that he feared the future - what might happen to the people he cared about, what might happen to him - and that he could only see the end, the tragic end he needed to outrun. It gave him anxiety, a reluctance to commit, and caused him to starve his own body.

This was not good.

Gritting his teeth, Finn tried to shake off the chill when his eyes rested on the bedside table. Sitting there, dried but obviously treasured, was the sunflower that Finn had gifted Ollie with on New Year’s Eve. Shifting across the mattress, he reached out and gently stroked one of the brittle petals. Ollie kept this token beside him while he slept because it meant something to him. Because Finn meant something to him. And that took Finn’s cold fear and transformed it into steel devotion.

Now he understood why Owen was so intent on helping Liam because Finn wasn’t going to let Ollie go through this alone. Whatever he needed to do to keep this bright patch of sunlight in his life, he’d do it. And he’d show Ollie that it wasn’t the end that mattered, it was the journey to it.

And that journey started with another glass of water. Quickly running to the kitchen and back, Finn was surprised to find Ollie awake again, blinking up at him with watery eyes. “I thought youuuu left.”

“Just getting you more water.” Helping Ollie sit up, Finn offered the glass to his lips. Again, he took measured sips until the glass was empty. Satisfied, Finn put it aside. “How much did you have to drink?”

“Two vodka sodaaas.” Ollie exhaled upward, making the curls on his forehead jump. “Ugh, I’m gonna be soooo bloated.”

“I think you’ll just be hungover.” Extending his arm, Finn offered Ollie his hand. Ollie stared at it for a moment, perplexed, before realizing what he had to do. Quickly, he grasped it, and Finn hauled him up. “How about I put you in bed?”

While Ollie could stand, he swayed so much that Finn had to hold onto him tightly.

“Mmm,” Ollie whispered in his ear. “We could-”

“I’m not doing anything with you in this state,” Finn told him in a gruff voice. “Bed.”

The few steps to the mattress were more of a stumble-drag but eventually Ollie flopped down sideways, pushing his head into the pillow.

“Are you leavin’?” he asked as Finn knelt by his feet, sliding off his glittery red boots. Placing them out of the way, he turned back to Ollie and got lost in those impossible blue eyes.

To be fair, a responsible boyfriend wouldn’t leave Ollie alone when he was this inebriated. He could fall or worse; plus, he wanted Finn’s company, and maybe they’d have some time to talk in the morning.

“If I stay over, snuggling is the line, okay?” Sitting on the bed, Finn played with one of Ollie’s curls, watching as those pleading eyes started to close.

“Mmhmm…” Ollie’s voice drifted off and Finn took that as a yes.

Standing, Finn went back to the kitchen and filled two glasses of water this time, putting both on Ollie’s night table, within easy reach. Then he shed his shoes, flannel, socks, and belt, leaving them all in a neat pile on the chair before shutting off the lamps. Moonlight spilled into the room, and Finn admired it as he slid into Ollie’s soft lovely bed. The mattress was like a cloud, and he was glad that he’d decided to watch over Ollie, who was already deeply asleep.

Gathering him close, Finn spooned around Ollie’s smaller body, and that icy chill reappeared, spreading through his chest. Lately, Ollie had taken to bundling up in layers, which made sense during the winter, and even though he currently wore several shirts under a chunky sweater, his shoulder blades were sharp, poking through all that cloth. Sure, Finn had touched Ollie before, but he rarely had the chance to hold on, to explore, to see through the camouflage and grasp how thin Ollie truly was, and he was cursing himself that he’d missed it.

Placing a gentle kiss on the back of Ollie’s neck, Finn rubbed his nose against skin that smelled like powder and lilies, whispering a promise, a plea, a pledge, something he’d said the first time he’d held Ollie in his arms. “Don’t be afraid. I’m here now.”

“Oh my god.”

Finn cracked an eye open as the bed moved and Ollie sat up like he’d been summoned back to life. It was quickly followed by a gasp as he cradled his head in his hands.

“Oh my god.” That one was more of a moan.

“You doin’ okay, Sunshine?” Finn rolled onto his back, not entirely ready to leave the soft nest of Ollie’s bed. Exhaustion had carved out a space in his skull, for he had laid awake until dawn trying to figure out how to approach Ollie about his food issues, so he’d only managed to get a few hours of sleep.

“Oh my god!” Ollie turned in Finn’s direction, his makeup-smeared eyes wide as he discovered that he wasn’t alone. Slowly, his shocked gaze moved down, and he looked himself over, glanced at Finn again, and backpedaled, almost falling out of the bed. Within seconds, he scrambled to his feet and stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

“Oh my god!” Loud and high-pitched, the words easily reached Finn, and he knew that he had to get up. Ollie needed some alone time to primp and they could both use some coffee.

Still in his jeans and wrinkled T-shirt, Finn made his way down to the massive kitchen, which was even more impressive in the late-morning sunlight. He found the coffee maker easily enough, but it took more poking around to find filters and ground coffee, and while he wasn’t surprised by the lack of food in the pantry and fridge, it saddened him nonetheless.

Opening a food delivery app, he ordered breakfast, his heart in his throat as he added a few things that Ollie might like, including toast and a fruit cup. Would he eat any of it? Or would he give Finn some excuse? Now that Finn was aware of the problem, he could see the pattern and he needed to know more.

Leaning against the counter Finn started researching on his phone. He’d heard about eating disorders before, in an old television show he’d watched, and they rose from a distant part of his brain to prod him as he searched the internet, too absorbed to realize that he had company until the click of a shutter startled him.

“The fuck?” He looked around, spotting Mason by the open basement door, holding a camera that looked like it was from the seventies. Finn frowned at him. “What is wrong with you?”

But he didn’t have time to get an answer because the doorbell rang, heralding food. Flipping Mason off yet again, Finn went to grab the delivery and by the time he returned to the kitchen, Mason was gone, along with some of the freshly brewed coffee. However, there was still more than enough and Finn filled two mugs, carrying them and breakfast back upstairs. But as he reached the bedroom, Finn stopped, frowning again. Ollie was chatting away, but who was he talking to? Did someone slip by him while he was in the kitchen?

Pushing the door open, Finn stopped on the threshold, spellbound.

“That’s right, lovelies, if you’re just starting with contour, then a powder palette is your training wheels. Once you’ve got the hang of it, you can graduate to cream, and then liquid. But, personally? Cream is my favorite, especially this dual shade contour stick.” He flashed it at the phone, which was perched in the middle of a light ring on Ollie’s desk, surrounded by makeup at the base. He had washed the previous night away, for his curls were styled and he’d changed into a baggy turquoise sweatsuit that looked like it was made of crushed velvet. It should be cheesy but, on Ollie, it worked. He also seemed to have most of his face on, but Finn couldn’t tell unless it was extreme or colorful, because Ollie was always beautiful.

However, he had a special glow when he livestreamed.

Although Finn stayed off to the side, Ollie still spotted him, quickly turning and studying him. Trying to keep his eyes clear, Finn thought about how much he liked Ollie instead of how they needed to talk, and it worked because a small smile curved Ollie’s lips before he refocused on the phone.

“And that’s how I contour! Thank you, PrettyGlammSashaa for tagging me in this, and thank you to all my lovelies who tuned in for my five-minute tutorial!” Slightly tilting his head, he gestured at Finn in a way that told him he could show his face if he wanted to. Why not?

Putting his things on the short table by the door, Finn went to Ollie’s chair and leaned in, hugging him and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Hello, out there!” He tapped Ollie’s phone and Ollie shrieked with laughter. “Is this thing on?” For good measure, he winked at the camera. The words scrolling up the screen started moving at double the speed and Ollie leaned in, nodding.

“Yes, yes, he’s my boyfriend. Yes, he’s older than me, no I’m not telling you how much older,” Ollie grinned, sitting back in the chair.

Finn squinted at the number of DADDY!s that flew up the screen. A few commenters asked for a spanking.

“Manners, lovelies, manners.” Ollie put his hands on his hips, giving them a stern face, and most of the NSFW stuff disappeared. “Thank you.” He resumed his vibrant smile and Finn bit his lip in awe. It was amazing, seeing Ollie this confident, acting like he owned the internet.

Dramatically flicking a curl away, Ollie looked up at Finn, putting a hand on his jaw. “I would like to thank this man for getting me home safely last night.” Caressing the stubble there, Ollie turned back to the camera. “I had two drinks at OnlyOneShadeOfGray’s birthday bash last night - check my story for more tea on that - and I was feeling it. Which means it’s time for me to wrap this up because Olleelicious needs more beauty sleep. Remember to wash your makeup off before bed, don’t pass out in it like I did last night.” He rolled his eyes with a giggle. “And always double cleanse. This is Olleelicious reminding you that you’re all beautiful!”

He waved at the camera so Finn gave him another kiss on the cheek as they signed off. Quickly, Ollie shut off the ring light and grabbed his phone, looking at a stat screen that appeared when he stopped streaming.

“Oh my god.” This last exclamation was the happiest of them all. “That was amazing! Do you see how it peaked here? That’s right when you popped in.” Pointing at a line chart, Ollie laughed. “That’s the most viewers I’ve ever had! You’re good for my brand!”

“Of course I am,” Finn gave him one last peck on the cheek and straightened up. “With my face, you could sell water to a drowning man.” Grabbing the mugs of coffee, he passed Ollie one and grinned at the pleased squeak he got in return.

“I was about to call you arrogant but since you provided caffeine, I’ll let it pass.” Taking a sip, he closed his eyes and savored. When he opened them again, those blue depths were unsure. “Okay, so, what happened last night? I did not expect to wake up with you in my bed.”

Sampling his coffee, Finn hummed, taking a seat on the mattress. “I didn’t expect to stay over. But you were adorably drunk and I had to drag you home. Literally.”

“D-Did I say anything weird?” Ollie’s forehead was wrinkled tightly in mortification.

“You told me you liked me.” Finn waggled his eyebrows. “A lot.”

Ollie took a deep breath. “Well…that isn’t a lie. Anything else?”

Finn wasn’t going to repeat ninety percent of what Ollie had said, so he reached for something cute and mildly innocuous. “You didn’t want me to leave. How could I say no to that? I made sure you drank some water and tucked you in.”

“Tucked me in?”

Finn shook his head. “We didn’t do anything if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I know we didn’t because you’re a knight.” Ollie gave Finn a small secret grin that made his heart pound straight out of his chest.

“I’m a knight?” Finn’s brain fell over on its side.

“Yeah.” Ollie rolled the desk chair until he could put his hands on Finn’s knees. “You’re strong and chivalrous. I feel safe when you’re around. I had amazing dreams last night like I was surrounded by calm waters, and it was you.”

Warmth spread from Finn’s thumping heart, causing his limbs to burn and his soul to ache. Ollie, who feared so much, felt safe around him? And he thought of Finn as a knight? A careful pride blossomed, spreading through his soul.

“You’re gonna make me blush, Sunshine.” They were connecting extremely well and Finn couldn’t bring himself to ask Ollie about his issues right now because he didn’t want to see that bright smile turn gloomy again. He didn’t even want to reach for the delivery but his glance toward the white plastic bag gave him away. Ollie’s eyes followed and to his credit, his expression didn’t change. He only rolled to the bag, retrieving it from the side table.

“You ordered breakfast?” He stared into it, the question more loaded than he probably realized.

Finn nodded with a soft. “Y-Yeah.” He cleared his throat.

The hesitancy was there and gone in a nanosecond, as if Ollie knew Finn was watching, and he was, very closely. Close enough to see the fear on Ollie’s face before he smiled it away.

“Great!” He ripped it open. “What did you get me?”

Finn wasn’t a knight. He was a coward.

It was one thing to know you had a problem to address, it was another to address it. Now he understood why people said that communication was important in relationships; although his loneliness had vanished, it was slowly being replaced with unease as a few more days ticked by and he couldn’t find a time or place to bring up Ollie’s eating issues.

Because, aside from his disquiet, things had been going well between them. Very well. Ollie had become more affectionate, almost clingy since they’d woken up in bed together earlier that week, and Finn knew that the moment he opened the subject, it would create an unmendable rift in their relationship. So, he procrastinated again, fiddling with the ring around his neck so much that he was about to wear off the engraving.

“You know that my social media has been wild since you were my guest star.” Ollie swiveled to face Finn, their knees brushing. He’d moved the long tables out but the tiny office still didn’t have enough room for more than a desk, two chairs, and a small shelving unit.

“Really?” Finn sat up a bit more. They’d just gotten to work and Ollie had been scrolling The Pointe’s social media while Finn was on his second cup of coffee. “Do you think I should get, what do you call it? An Insta?” He pretended to fluff his hair and Ollie rolled his eyes, grinning.

“I can set you up with one. Liam’s very popular thanks to my handiwork, although he only posts pictures of sunsets and landscapes when he should be putting that gorgeous face to use.” Ollie raised an eyebrow, lips pursed. “Speaking of gorgeous faces, a bunch of my followers want me to give you a makeover.”

“A makeover? But I’m already flawless.” Finn crossed his arms, sticking his nose up.

“Of course you are. Your grunge look is very retro, very early-nineties drip,” Ollie stated in an over-the-top sarcastic tone.

Finn made a face at that and Ollie’s laughter filled the room, Finn quickly joining him.

“If you were to give me a makeover, what would it entail?” he asked once they could both breathe again.

“Shaping your beard, putting product in your hair, doing your eyebrows, getting you a nice suit. Maybe a casual outfit.” Ollie blinked at him coquettishly. “It’s basically dressing you like a Ken doll.”

“I’m kind of disappointed that you don’t want to go full glam on this.” Finn pointed at his face.

Ollie giggled. “I mean, I could if that’s what you want.”

“Let’s go with the Ken doll thing first.” Finn wasn’t against putting on all that makeup but they should probably start small.

“We have off tomorrow.” Ollie tilted his head. “How about we go to the mall, get you some things, and do a stream?”

“I’m on board. As long as I get to hang out with you-” Finn wanted to finish with something sweet and a little cheesy but Marci burst through the door, cutting him off with impeccable timing.

“Ready the protective gear, gentlemen, because John the Jerk has entered the building.” Her nose wrinkled like there was an awful smell in the hallway.

“Fuck.” Finn threw a hand in the air. “I thought he was in Texas until at least April.”

“Trust me, no one is more upset about that than me. He’s here because The Pointe is officially booked two years out, and that’s partly due to him.” Marci pointed at Ollie.

“Me?” Ollie straightened his denim patchwork sweater, looking simultaneously pleased and confused.

“Could you fit anyone else in here?” Marci looked around the tiny office. “Anyway, John wants to meet you.”

Finn got up. “I’m going in with him.”

“It’s fine.” Ollie put a hand on Finn’s arm. “That’s very chivalrous but I can handle myself.”

“Are you sure?” Finn took the hand and put it in his own, not caring if Marci was watching.

“I’m sure,” Ollie nodded, eyes resolute as they stared up at Finn. Powerless to that forget-me-not gaze, Finn easily gave in, and Ollie squeezed by him to follow Marci out of the office.

Thankfully, he wasn’t gone for too long. Just as Finn was thinking about listening by John’s door, Ollie reappeared, his face placid.

“Was he okay to you?” Finn placed his arms around Ollie, kissing his temple.

“Yeah.” Ollie breathed in, sighing happily. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“All the stuff people say about him? The nickname? I mean, he dresses like a nineteen-sixties pimp but he isn’t like, a total asshole.”

“Did he open his mouth?”

Ollie let out a short laugh. “Yes, of course. He said it was a shame I was a guy - ew - but I expected worse. I guess, no one here has online haters, they’re much more brutal than him.”

“Wow,” Finn blinked, “they’re that mean to you on the internet? I should take a look at-”

“Noooo,” Ollie interrupted, shaking his head. “You’ll only make it worse. The best thing to do is block and ignore.”

“I wish I could do that in real life.” Finn thought about his father.

“Hold that thought.” Ollie pulled away, biting his lip. “Because John wants to talk to you next.”

“Great.” All the breath whooshed out of Finn. “I guess I should head to the gallows then.”

Ollie gave him a brief hug. “Good luck in there.”

Within seconds, Finn was in front of John’s office, letting out another long sigh as he squared his shoulders, knocked twice, and let himself in.

“Cooper!” John stood, giving Finn a squeezing handshake. “Sit down, sit down. I just met your boy.”

Finn tried not to cringe. Ollie wasn’t his boy. He was Finn’s Sunshine. The soft hand that pulled him from his well of solitude. A glamorous, fun, ray of light that sometimes shared Finn’s brain. And yet he was so much more.

“How was Texas, John?” Finn figured he’d start with something innocuous.

“Eh, it was okay, but my girl was hollerin’ that she hasn’t seen me in months since I’ve been staying at the ranch with the old ball and chain, so I had to come back early. Women, huh?” John straightened his bright yellow tie, which somehow matched his rust-colored pinstripe suit. Snakeskin boots completed the collection, as if John wanted to bring a little Texas back with him, and Finn wondered if there was a cowboy hat around, because that would make the ensemble even better. “Or, men, I guess. You and Parker really like to shit where you eat, don’tcha?”

Raising an eyebrow, Finn crossed his arms. “Is there a point to this meeting, John?”

“Parker’s a lot nicer, you know.”

“I know.” Finn gave John a smile full of challenge, not afraid for his job. While John was indeed a jerk, he had moments of strange piety that made you not want to throw him off the roof; plus, he appreciated good employees, and Finn was a stellar employee.

“You got balls, Cooper, I’ll give you that.” John pointed at him and then steepled his fingers, his face serious. “And the reason I called you in here is because I talked to your boy.”

“Ollie,” Finn added.

“Sure.” John took a breath. “Now I know it’s none of my fuckin’ business but I’m gonna ask anyway. Is he having problems? Health problems?”

Finn froze like a deer in headlights. “Why do you ask?”

“Because he’s kinda thin. Is he dealing with IBS or some shit? Does he need extra time off like Liam did?”

Frowning, Finn leaned forward, his heart in his throat. It was one thing for the people around Ollie to notice but when someone like John immediately honed in on Ollie’s issues? It upped Finn’s concern to nuclear levels. “No…it’s not that.”

“Then is he not eating? On purpose?”

Finn’s eyes stung and he looked down, blinking. Of all people, John had pinned it right on the nose.

“Y-You -” Finn cleared his throat, raised his head, and met John’s shrewd beady gaze again. There wasn’t a lot of emotion there but he could swear he saw a flicker of understanding. “You sound like you know something about this.”

“Yeah, I do. My niece, Fiona? She’s been anorexic for years and, no offense Cooper, your boy kinda reminds me of her.” John shook his head with a frown. “Or what she was like before things got scary. Has he lost any hair yet?”

Finn’s body went cold. “Not that I know of.”

“You should get him to see someone before that happens. He’s on the health insurance, right? Because Parker will be up in my shit if he’s not.”

Finn’s heart twisted, his hands sweaty as the reality of Ollie’s problems came barreling down at him. “Do you think Ollie is anorexic?”

“I’m not a fucking doctor, Cooper. Use the internet, there’s a dozen eating disorders out there, he could have any one of ’em. And far be it for me to give out love advice but this is a long haul so decide if you wanna sign up for that.” The office chair creaked as John tilted back, studying Finn, who was too stunned to speak. “But let me know if your boy needs anything. He can have time off, work from home, I don’t give a shit. As long as he keeps this place hoppin’? He can stay. Now,” John sighed, hauling himself to his feet. “I’ve been here for forty-five minutes, I’m done. Time to hit the greens!”

Dazed and blindsided, Finn barely remembered leaving John’s office but his unconscious steered him correctly; instead of going back to Ollie, Finn ended up outside, around the back of the building in his usual don’t bother me spot. His phone pinged; on autopilot, he pulled it from his pocket, staring at the words across the lock screen.

How did it go?A kissy-face emoji followed the sentence.

Blinking down at the text, Finn’s eyes settled on Ollie’s name, the letters blurring as he let go of the tears he’d wanted to shed earlier. Sniffling, he wiped at his face and typed out a quick message, unable to leave Ollie hanging.

It was fine. He wanted to talk about the bus. I have to help outside, I’ll be around later.He finished with two hearts that had no space between them.

Within seconds, Ollie sent him a GIF of a small boy giving a salute.

Putting his cell away, Finn slid down the side of the building, sitting on the grass. The tears had been short-lived; however, Finn rarely cried, so his response was telling. When Owen had almost thrown their friendship away, getting angry at Finn for pointing out Liam’s drug use and icing him out for weeks, Finn had broken down for about thirty seconds. But before that? He might have cried in high school but he wasn’t sure.

John had told him to evaluate whether he wanted to go down this road with Ollie but, to Finn, leaving now would be the height of cowardice. Being with someone meant always staying by their side, in both joy and sorrow. Finn knew all about people who didn’t stay, and he didn’t want to be part of that club. Ollie needed someone to care for him, a knight in shining armor, or mildly rusty armor. Finn didn’t see himself as Ollie did but he would try his best to live up to that image.

A low rumbling growl let Finn know that he was hungry and he stood, following the outside of the building until he came to the side door that was always propped open. Nodding at a few of the wait staff, Finn walked through a short foyer and into The Pointe’s kitchen.

“Sup, Finn!” Angelo called out from the other side of the room. “I got a few plates in the fridge from last night if you wanna nuke ’em. I got my hands full with prep over here.”

“Thanks, man!” Finn called out, glad that Angelo was distracted because he needed to gather his thoughts.

Watching his eggplant parmigiana spin around in the microwave, it wasn’t lost on Finn that he was eating properly, and how much willpower Ollie must have to deny himself this basic need. Disturbed, Finn decided that he’d address everything tomorrow. It sounded like more procrastination but he didn’t want to discuss something this private at work; also, giving Ollie a relaxing happy day out and getting him in a good mood might help Finn ease into the subject.

Maybe he should invite Ollie over. In the few months they’d dated, they’d either gone out or stayed in at Ollie’s so a change of scenery might do them good. Finn could use the familiarity of his own home to bolster him and make him brave enough to address his concerns. But would Ollie be receptive?

“Hey Finn, how’s it going?” Angelo popped up beside him and they exchanged a fist bump. He was taller, with a shaved head and an impressive beard that was currently hiding in a net.

“I’m hanging in there. I heard we’re booked two years out now.” The microwave beeped and Finn grabbed a potholder, taking his plate out.

“Yeah, it’s nuts.” Angelo shook his head, hands on his hips. “I’m thinking about hiring another sous chef.”

“Really? Wow. It’s gonna be busy all the time I guess.” Finn dug into the potatoes but they tasted lifeless under his mood.

“Sure is.” Angelo started walking back toward prep but turned around. “Oh, and tell Ollie he doesn’t have to bring food from home. We have more than enough to go around here.”

“What?” Finn dropped the fork into his plate.

“I keep offering him one of the dinners but he says he’s on some kind of diet. Is he gluten-free? Vegan? I can whip him up anything.” Angelo cracked his knuckles like he enjoyed the challenge. Finn wanted to be grateful but this short conversation only exacerbated his stress, adding fuel to a fire that was growing more intense by the hour.

Finn plastered on a smile. “I’ll tell him. He’s pretty strict about what he eats but I’ll pass on the word, thanks Angelo!” With that, he grabbed the plate and left the way he came, going back to his outside corner.

Sitting on the grass, Finn took his headset off, balanced his meal in his lap, and grabbed his cell phone, continuing his research on eating disorders. The stats scared him, and after twenty minutes he needed a break. Moving his half-eaten dish to the side, he stared at the search engine on his phone, wondering what to type in.

Now you know my username so you can stalk me if you want.

It took a few attempts since Finn had to try an odd combination of Ls and Es, but he eventually located one of Ollie’s accounts. Studying the large follower number, understanding clicked further into place.

It was no secret that Ollie was very appearance-based, which solidified another reason for him to restrict. On their first real date, Ollie had mentioned that he’d had a glow-up and felt invisible throughout high school. But he wasn’t invisible anymore, his very popular social media accounts were based on his knowledge of makeup and hair, featuring him as the center of attention. And to maintain the attention Ollie probably believed he needed to maintain his glow-up. Add all his fear to that and it was easy to see how things could spiral out of control.

Scrolling back, Finn watched as Ollie gained weight and fullness, becoming brighter, a force of nature ready to sass the world to pieces. The difference between this year and last was staggering, and as he searched further, he found a before and after post. His lips curved in a grim smile as he realized he’d been right; Ollie had never been ugly. The man on the left had less makeup, frizzier hair, and carried more weight but he was still Ollie.

And Finn was going to fight for him.