Page 3

FINN

“Finn! I’m so glad you’re here! And you brought muffins? That’s why you’re my best friend.” Owen gave him a hug that included several pats on the back and then ushered him inside.

“Opie, what’s so important that you texted me…” Finn looked at his phone, absentmindedly toeing off his shoes by the door. “‘Come over as soon as you can, it’s good I promise’ first thing in the morning?” Still holding the bag, he made his way to the couch and got comfortable, studying Liam, who paced back and forth. However, he wasn’t nervous; he was positively glowing.

Finn smirked. “Are you pregnant?”

“Oh my god.” Liam stopped short, giving Finn a ghastly look that made his laughter spill over until it echoed off the living room walls. Even Owen smothered a smile as he wrapped Liam in his arms, kissing him on the temple.

“Well, we are expecting…” Owen began to chuckle and Liam twisted around to set that expression on him. “Expecting Liam to go to college-”

“Wait, what? Weren’t you always going to college?” Finn pulled a carrot cake muffin out of the bag and bit into it, tilting his head in confusion as he chewed.

“Yes. But now it’s happening sooner than I thought because I don’t have to get my GED. My old high school just got back to me. I was close to graduating when everything happened and since I was a good student with a college offer, they said I had extenuating circumstances and are mailing me my diploma!” Beaming, Liam bounced in excitement, taking Owen up and down with him.

“It should be here next week!” Owen added with glee.

“Which means I can start college this summer!” Liam finished, the two of them completing each other”s sentences like it was the most natural thing in the world. Finn had seen it so many times that it wasn’t odd anymore, but it still hurt like a pinprick to the heart.

“That’s amazing, Liam!” Putting the muffin aside, he stood, brushed the crumbs from his shirt, and piled onto the hug, causing his friends to shout and almost tip over. It was chaos for a minute as Finn steered the bouncing group around and around until they broke apart. Liam and Owen ended up on the floor, and Finn tottered to the side before picking up his breakfast and resuming his seat on the couch. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you! I’m still in shock but I’m super happy.” Liam said from the carpet.

Getting up, Owen held out a hand and Liam accepted it, going from the floor straight into Owen’s arms again. “I’m happy for you too, Angel.” Owen tucked Liam’s bangs behind his ear and the touch was so comfortable, so gentle and affectionate, that Finn’s loneliness bubbled beneath the surface, making him grit his teeth. It wasn’t usually this bad but he was having one of his Lone Wolf days, where he’d woken up feeling bereft, forlorn, and disconnected. It was bound to happen sooner or later; Ollie’s effect had been fading for weeks, so Owen’s morning invite had come at the right time, pushing Finn out of bed and away from the glaring solitude of his place.

However, anything having to do with Owen was a double-edged sword since the canoodling was only making Finn feel worse.

He dropped his eyes to his barely eaten muffin but not before he caught the unbridled love in Liam’s gaze as he stared up at Owen, and Finn’s soul ached. He wanted that, wanted it so badly, and his loneliness surged, rising with a roar, the sound cutting through his mind and making his temples throb.

This wasn’t jealousy, not really. Finn was truly happy for Owen and Liam. It was more like his best friend finding love only reminded Finn of how alone he was, reinforcing a pattern of loneliness that had permeated his entire life. Sure, he had his uncle and Owen, and as an attractive, gregarious, optimist he also had plenty of casual partners and acquaintances but he always seemed to fall through the cracks when it came to anything serious. Aging made it more difficult to find new friends, never mind The One, and he began to wonder if he’d ever meet someone who understood him, who could touch the deepest parts of his heart and eradicate that loneliness.

And then Ollie stepped into his life.

Blond curls the color of sunshine, expressive powder blue eyes that had tugged on Finn’s heartstrings, high regal cheekbones, full lips that had turned Finn’s world on its axis, lips that were making Finn question so much because the minute that Ollie had kissed him, Finn’s desolation vanished, onlycoming back over the last few weeks.

“How do you feel about omelets?” Owen cut through Finn’s thoughts like a sledgehammer.

“What?” Finn looked up at Owen and Liam as they lightly swayed back and forth in their embrace. He wanted to go out to his car and scream.

“I mean I dragged you over here, I certainly owe you breakfast.” Owen untangled himself and went over to Finn, snooping through the bag. “Ooooo, you bought a blueberry one and a corn muffin for Liam. Thank you, Finn.”

Clearing his throat, Finn stood, giving the bag to Owen and hoping that his poker face was good enough to get out the door. “Sorry, Opie, I wish I could stay but I have a shift in an hour and I just stopped by to hear the good news.”

“Oh.” Little creases appeared on Owen’s forehead. He was picking up on something that Finn definitely needed to hide. Turning away, he hugged Liam.

“Congratulations again.” Finn tousled his hair when he pulled away. “Now it’s college application time!”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Liam smoothed down his bangs. “Have a good day at your various jobs!”

“Thanks.” Finn waved at them, heading to the front door and pulling on his shoes.

“Wait! You forgot your muffin!” Owen came over and handed it to him, the worry lines still apparent.

“Oh, cool. Thanks, Opie.” Grabbing it, Finn took a bite and opened the door, hoping that Owen wouldn’t be in the mood to quiz him. But those hopes were dashed when Owen followed him outside, closing the front door behind them.

“Are you okay?” Owen walked Finn to his SUV, which was parked a few sections down in the visitor lot.

“Yeah, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Finn groused, telling as much truth as he could. Owen read him far too well for anything else. “But I’m glad you called. I liked hearing Liam’s good news.”

“Okay.” Owen seemed appeased, his brow relaxing. “Are you sure you can’t stay for breakfast?”

That was the last thing Finn wanted to do and it made him feel shitty because Owen wasn’t a friend; he was family. It wasn’t Owen’s fault that his new relationship made Finn feel lonely. That was all on Finn.

He needed to get his head on straight. Again, he’d stuck to the truth; he did have a shift at the shoe store in an hour, and before he clocked in he had to shake everything off. Which meant he should’ve left five minutes ago.

“Yeah, I gotta jet.” Reaching the car, Finn gave Owen another hug. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Pulling away, he grinned in amusement. “Worry about how often you’ll see Liam once college starts.”

“I didn’t think about that.” The creases in Owen’s forehead were back within seconds. With his distraction technique complete, Finn took that as an opportunity to leave, hoping that his day would get better from here on out.

Finn sighed, realizing that his day had been absolute shit since the moment he’d woken up and it would most likely stay that way until he went to sleep. Packing it in, calling it a loss, and curling up on the couch with a blanket, some buffalo chicken pizza, and a classic tennis match would be the wise choice.

If he hadn’t just lost his job.

Now, he needed the hours, which was why he was up at the view, taking a few minutes of downtime before starting his rideshare shift. Resting on the hood of his car, he fiddled with a small silver ring that he kept on a chain around his neck and tried to absorb the landscape, letting it soothe him.

He still couldn’t believe that he’d brought Ollie up here. Some of Finn’s relationships had lasted months and he hadn’t even thought about showing off this precious view, yet he knew Ollie for all of ten minutes before seeing those tears and wanting to reroute, somehow knowing that it would provide comfort.

The ring of Finn’s cell cut through the peaceful quiet and he warily checked the number, then smiled for the first time that day, pressing accept. “How’s it goin’, Uncle Joe?”

“It’s going,” Joe chuckled, ending on a cough. “I’m just checking in with my boy. How ya been?”

“Overall? Good, except for me getting fired today.” Finn twirled the ring between his fingers.

“What? Did you moon them or something?” His uncle coughed through another laugh and Finn could hear water percolating.

“No, the rent for the store is going up a lot and the owner is eighty-three, so he’s going to retire and close up shop. Are you doing bong hits?”

“Of course.” Joe’s voice was tight as he tried to speak while holding his breath. “I gotta take my medication.”

“How about your other meds?” Dropping the ring to his chest, Finn sat up. “The high blood pressure and the ones for your heart? Are you taking those?”

“Yessiree bob!” An exhale followed that was so large Finn expected to smell pot on his end.

“You’re not drinking too, are you? You’re not a spring chicken anymore, you know.”

“Just a little whiskey. And maybe some beer.”

“Uncle Joe!” Finn’s tone was all admonishment. His uncle was the only family he had, or the only family he cared to have, and he needed the old fool to live a long life; however, Joe partied like he was eternally twenty-four and on tour with his band. He still lived in the country cabin that Finn had been raised in and it was over an hour north, so Finn didn’t get up there as often as he liked, but he had to make more of an effort since his uncle was over seventy and had no sense of self-preservation.

“Stop shouting, I can hear you from here. A man has to have some vices,” Joe grumbled.

“Some vices. Not all. How about I visit this week? It’s been too long.”

“You miss me?”

“Of course. You’re my uncledad.”

“I tell you, you’re the best nephewson a man could ever ask for.” Joe’s voice was blurry with genuine and plant-based happiness. “How’s your buddy Owen doing? I know he had a tough time with custody.”

Finn pinched the bridge of his nose. He was trying to get away from this topic. “He did. But he moved in with his new partner-”

“That Liam boy, right?”

“Yeah. Liam’s good for him. Takes care of Opie so I’m off the hook.” Finn let out his own long exhale, needing to change the subject.

“Good to hear. Owen could use someone in his life. Just like you. Is there anyone new you want to tell me about?” Joe’s sly grin could be felt through the phone.

Finn wished that he could talk about Ollie but there were so many convoluted feelings and questions that he didn’t know where to begin. It was strange, he’d never thought about his sexuality before. He’d always been attracted to women and never had trouble finding dates but he’d always felt like he was going through the motions, so love had stayed far out of reach. At no point had he considered men; he’d been able to appreciate them and acknowledge their handsomeness in an objective way, but did that make him bisexual? Did his attraction to Ollie make him bisexual? Was he bisexual or just Olliesexual? He’d done a ton of internet research and hadn’t been able to come up with a definitive answer, but he did have some facts. Ollie had wiped out Finn’s loneliness with a single kiss and the effect had lasted for months. Finn still wanted to talk to Ollie again, even kiss him a little more. Finn’s straightness was no longer written in stone; however, Finn didn’t seem to be attracted to any other men.

And he would probably never see Ollie again. His brain had been too scrambled from Ollie’s lips and tongue to ask for any contact information, and the rideshare app showed only Ollie’s first name, which he already knew. He did receive five stars and a review that encouraged him to call but how could he if he didn’t have a number?

Which made him question all this questioning. Why even bother? Unless Ollie suddenly ran into his life again, the entire thing was moot.

Finn sighed. “I wish I could, Uncle Joe, but I’m flying solo right now.”

“Too bad, too bad.” A beat of silence hung between them and Finn could feel his uncle’s hesitation. “Listen. Your dad emailed me. Says he wants to talk to you.”

Finn pinched the bridge of his nose again. If this day got any better by eight o’clock he’d be on fire.

“You mean my sperm donor?” He tried not to get angry.

“Finn…” There was a small plea in the way Joe said his name.

“I’m sorry but you’re a hundred times more my dad than some guy who abandoned me when I was two.” Even holding back, his tone remained acrimonious.

“Ron didn’t abandon you. He just didn’t know what to do after Sadie died.”

“And you did?” Finn snorted, reaching for the ring again and clenching it in his fist. “I’ll give him a point for grief but you don’t drop your son off at someone’s house and go on tour for years. Besides, you were grieving too.”

“But he’s tried to reconnect. He’s still trying.”

Finn stared up at the endless void of night sky. He’d been in first grade by the time his father reappeared in his life and he’d outright rejected the man, not recognizing him. After that, the visits occurred less and less until they stopped altogether and it had been over a decade since Finn had last seen his father. But the man still tried to reach out, and it irked Finn, who blocked him at every turn.

“Sorry Uncle Joe, but it’s too little too late.”

“You’re just like your mother, you know. Stubborn as fuck.”

Finn looked down at the simple silver band he held in his palm. Too small for any of his fingers, it had been around his neck for as long as he could remember. Uncle Joe said that he’d put it there, wanting Finn to have a piece of his mother, and Finn was forever grateful for that because whenever he ran the pad of his fingers over the soft cursive S engraved on the front it grounded him.

He barely remembered his mom; all he had were fleeting images and feelings - a woman with long sandy hair, a soft laugh, protection, warmth, and a fruity floral scent. Sure, he’d seen pictures - Uncle Joe’s place was littered with them since she’d been his only sibling - but they couldn’t capture the small presence she’d kept in his mind, and the way all of that clung to the ring, never to be forgotten. “Then I guess she’d be proud of me.”

Uncle Joe huffed a laugh. “She would, Nephewson. She absolutely would.”

The phone call put a smile on Finn’s face and it lingered as he started his rideshare hours. The day couldn’t be all bad if he’d gotten to talk to his uncle. Maybe it was turning around.

His first two passengers were a breeze and even though the third needed to be picked up on the edge of the state forest, it was a lovely drive. Pulling into the rugged parking lot, his headlights skimmed over a tall glowering man beside the trail sign. A large backpack, tripod, and a case with a picture of a drone on the front lay at his feet.

Popping the trunk, Finn rolled down the window. “Do you need some help?”

The man’s expression hardened and he seemed almost angry, studying Finn for a moment before shaking his head. It didn’t take him long to get everything in the back and once he buckled up, Finn took note of the destination and headed toward the rich side of town, where the houses were enormous and stunning.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you taking pictures of?” A few seconds of silence went by and Finn glanced in the rearview mirror to find sea green eyes staring back at him. The man had his arms crossed and the frown on his face seemed perpetual.

“The sky. A timelapse.” His voice was low and brusque.

“Cool.” Finn nodded, intuiting that more conversation was not welcome and music probably wasn’t either so he let silence reign, keeping his gaze on the road.

About a mile from the destination, a jogger on the sidewalk grabbed his attention. Usually, Finn wouldn’t look twice at someone running outside, but this particular runner had a blond head of curls that bounced with each step and the same proportions as Ollie. Although Finn knew it couldn’t possibly be him, he stared anyway, and as the car passed by Finn gasped, turning to look behind them.

The sharp cheekbones, the pointed cleft chin, and those lush pouty lips were all familiar because they’d been imprinted on Finn’s mind for months. Eyes wide, Finn thanked his past self for not going home and curling up on the couch, because Ollie was here, now, right in front of him.

“Hey!” the man in the back seat barked. “Are you trying to kill us?”

Whipping around, Finn straightened the wheel, missing a parked van by millimeters. His heart hammered, about to burst from his chest. He needed to stop the car.

“S-Sorry. Um, I hate to ask but do you mind if I pull over for a second? I need to talk to someone.” Finn slowed down at the end of the street, stopping at the corner, thankful that there was no one behind him.

“The jogger? Why do you want to talk to Ollie?”

“You know Ollie?” Putting the car in park, Finn took his seatbelt off and turned, facing the backseat.

Finn didn’t think it was possible but the man frowned even more deeply. “He rents from me.”

“He moved here?” Finn tracked Ollie as he ran past them, too focused on the path ahead to notice the stopped car. Absently, Finn wondered if he was training for a marathon because he needed to fuel more. He’d gotten thinner over the last three months.

Heart still racing, Finn opened and closed his hands, his palms tingling. He’d questioned the reasons behind his attraction many times; was it real or was he only enamored with Ollie’s ability to stamp out loneliness? And he got his answer the second he saw Ollie again because all Finn wanted to do was touch him, feel those plush lips once more, and it was simultaneously confusing and exciting.

The man yawned. “He did. Can you drive me home now?”

Glancing at his phone, Finn took note of his passenger’s name - Mason - and gripped the wheel, putting the car in drive. “Yes, of course. Sorry about that. It’s just that Ollie and I connected a few months ago and I’ve been wanting to talk to him again.” Finn kept one eye on the road and the other on the rearview mirror, watching Mason’s shrug.

“I don’t care. I just need to bring my equipment inside before it gets too cold.” His words were harsh but his tone indicated that he wasn’t mean, only detached, disinterested, and he had every right to be concerned about his cameras, especially when Finn had almost crashed the car.

Finn had been extremely unprofessional on this ride and would most likely get one star but it didn’t matter.

He’d found Ollie.

Arriving at the address the app indicated, Finn tried not to drool. The house was stupendous, a square white monolith that rivaled the other homes on the street. The porch beckoned, telling Finn to come up and relax, and the landscaping was flawless, with rows of arborvitae creating a border on the property line and various shrubs hiding the meeting of foundation and dirt. In the center of the sprawling lawn was one of the largest weeping willows he’d ever seen, and boulders were scattered here and there, surrounded by hydrangeas. All in all, the location was very private and peaceful. No wonder Ollie had chosen to live here.

Jumping out of the car, Finn assisted with the tripod, and Mason gave him a once-over before huffing and walking up to the house, Finn quickly following.

Once inside, Finn took a moment to admire the stained-glass window above the door, and the colorful patterns it cast on the floor as moonlight passed through it. Carefully placing his bundle on a bench by the entryway, he put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels, feeling uncharacteristically sheepish.

“Do you mind if I, um, stick around and say hi to Ollie?”

Mason’s next look was close to a glare but then he shrugged again, opening a door to a flight of stairs that clearly led to the basement.

“I told you, I don’t care.” Adjusting the bag on his shoulder, he clomped down the stairs, closing the door behind him and leaving Finn to his own devices.

Some runners could be out for hours, especially if they were training, so Finn busied himself by looking around the foyer. The floors and walls were dark wood, polished to a deep shine, and framed photographs of all sizes littered the walls. Some were portraits that ranged from artistically lit silhouettes to extreme close-ups while others were more candid. Shots of nature filled the spaces between, many from drone height. Each one was stunning, easily captivating Finn and holding his attention. If they were Mason’s work, then he was talented.

When he was done perusing the foyer, Finn began to wander. The living room was next, although it didn’t seem very lived-in. The plush white furniture was stylish and full, without creases or dents in the cushions, as if no one had ever sat on them. A fireplace took up most of one wall, flanked on both sides by bookshelves and above by a mounted television. The area flowed easily into a well-appointed dining room, which housed a stately walnut table and eight antique chairs, along with a glass cabinet that held expensive-looking dishes, and through an archway beyond, the kitchen waited, and Finn couldn’t help but be drawn in. It was triple the size of his kitchen, with granite countertops and a generous island in the middle. The stove had six burners, the sink was like a small bathtub, and the cabinets seemed to go on forever. Finn wasn’t much of a cook but the surroundings made him want to prepare a meal there, just for the experience.

Creaking echoed through the house as the front door opened and closed, pulling Finn from his self-tour, and he darted back toward the foyer but stopped at the edge of the living room, unsure.

Breathing heavily, Ollie wiped his brow with a small towel as he checked his fitness watch, mumbling to himself about calories. Finn’s earlier observation had been right; Ollie had gotten thinner. He was swimming in the purple T-shirt he wore but the tight shorts underneath were like a second skin. The way they hugged Ollie’s ass seized Finn’s attention with more force than anything else in the house and he had to shake himself and wrench his gaze away.

He didn’t know why but he felt out of his depth. But he couldn’t stand there forever or he’d end up scaring the life out of Ollie.

Taking a steadying breath, Finn cleared his throat and Ollie jumped, spinning around with such force that it made Finn dizzy.

“H-Hey, Ollie.” Finn grinned but he could tell it was wobbly. “It’s been a while.”

At first, Ollie didn’t react. He only stared, unnaturally still. Then he blinked and shook his head, dropping the towel he’d been holding so he could brace a hand on the wall.

“Great, I’m hallucinating now,” he murmured, swaying on his feet.

“I’m not a hallucination, Ollie. I’m right here.” Stepping into the foyer, Finn reached out and touched Ollie’s arm. As they connected Ollie snapped his pale blue eyes to Finn’s, all the color draining from his face.

And then he promptly passed out.

Diving forward, Finn caught Ollie before he hit the ground, preventing him from smashing his head on the hardwood floor.

“Ollie?” Finn looked down at that pinched angular face, unease spreading through his chest. He’d thought about fear a lot after their conversation a few months ago, even acknowledging his own fears - like losing his uncle and being alone for the rest of his life - but right now he also feared for the man he held gently in his arms.

“Mason!” Finn shouted. “Mason!”It took several more calls until Mason finally peered out of the basement door with a frown on his face and a camera in his hands.

“What?” His eyes swept over Ollie lying prone in Finn’s arms but his expression didn’t change at all.

“Ollie fainted! Can you call an ambulance?”

“What did you do to him?” Mason tilted his head a millimeter to the right.

“Nothing! I said hi and I think I scared him.” Finn looked down, straightened Ollie’s headband, and then smoothed the hair back from his head. His curls were still slightly damp from his run.

“Is he breathing? Bleeding?”

“He’s breathing fine, I think, and no, he’s not bleeding.”

“Don’t call an ambulance. It’ll cause problems. He’ll be fine.” Mason shrugged, which seemed to be his default reaction to everything, and snapped a photo.

“Did you just take a picture of us? What the hell is wrong with you?” Finn shouted as he stood, easily bringing Ollie with him and holding him in his arms, bridal style; he was lighter than Finn had expected. “Don’t you have any compassion? He needs help.”

“According to my family, I lack in that department.” Mason turned to descend, reaching back and closing the door behind him.

“Asshole,” Finn muttered, looking down at Ollie, who was beginning to stir. His eyebrows furrowed, wrinkles appearing on his forehead as he turned his head to the side, snuggling into Finn’s chest. That small movement caused something fierce and protective to awaken inside of Finn, obliterating his loneliness once again, and the sensation was so strong that, without thinking, he pressed his lips to Ollie’s temple, whispering. “Don’t be afraid. I’m here now.”