Page 27

OLLIE

“Buffalo chicken pizza? Are you serious?” Ollie turned up his nose. He would not be putting that greasy meat-piled bread into his mouth.

“Come on, Sunshine. Part of the deal is trying new foods.” Finn waggled the menu he held.

“But it’s ridiculous.” Arms crossed, Ollie slumped in his seat, looking around the small side restaurant of Finn’s favorite pizza place. Although his behavior had earned him a day pass, his weight still hadn’t stabilized; in fact, it had decreased over the last few weeks. He’d become strangely defensive about it, for while dread no longer loomed overhead it still lurked in the distance, and Ollie had been feeling its presence more lately, along with an imminence that stirred his anxiety. Just last month he’d been eager to get out but for some reason he’d been backsliding

And he’d been so close to a release date.

“It’s not ridiculous, it’s delicious, and you can get it with vegetarian chicken. I know you like that.” Finn sounded tired and Ollie could relate. Sometimes he was tired of himself too.

“Sure. Okay.” He hoped it sounded a little cheerful but the atmosphere was already strained. With a mix of emotions, Ollie reached for the exercises that Katrin drilled into him, but it was difficult putting things into practice, especially during his first time out in the real world.

But the friction didn’t last long. After they ordered, Finn reached across the table, holding out his hand with a smile, and Ollie couldn’t resist. He grasped that warm palm, and before Finn could speak Ollie waved a white flag. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.”

“It’s fine. Katrin probably told you some version of this but healing is not a straight line and although you’ve taken a dip, you’ll come back up. You’re changing some fundamental parts of your brain and it’s not an instant fix.” Finn played with his mother’s ring, which still rested happily on Ollie’s index finger, and he welcomed it, the touch calming him as it always did.

“I know.” Ollie held back a sigh. “Katrin did go over that, and I ended up with more exercises on cultivating patience.”

“What does she think the issue is?”

“She says that some part of me is afraid to leave.”

“Is that true?”

Immediately Ollie wanted to deny it. Of course he wanted to leave. He’d gotten the boot off weeks ago and had been doing physical therapy while dealing with the fact that overexercising had left him with a long-term injury and shitty bone density; however, his stress fracture had mostly healed and he’d been looking forward to going on the day program, heading back to work part time, and resuming some of his life.

But something was holding him back.

Ollie let out the sigh he’d been repressing. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Do you feel ready to leave?”

Tilting his head, Ollie considered. “I know I’ve done a lot of work. I managed to push the dread away so I don’t feel it-” Ollie gestured over his back. “Right here. But…”

“But it’s around.”

“Yeah. Which means I’m afraid of the future again.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Finn said carefully, still holding Ollie’s hand. “You’ve been away, healing for the last three months, and now you need to apply what you’ve learned to the outside world. It’s not like you can avoid food or stay in treatment forever, no matter how safe it’s probably felt.”

Ollie wanted to crawl across the table and into Finn’s lap, always amazed at how Finn just got him, how he’d perfectly articulated some of Ollie’s anxieties about being in outpatient. Although he’d been working things through with Katrin, it was nice to discuss his troubles with Finn, and that closeness, that understanding, relaxed Ollie’s brain, giving him a flash of a memory from weeks ago when his parents had visited. They’d been waiting to sign in, and Ollie had sneaked up behind them, about to grab his mother in a hug when she turned to his father and said nine little words that ground everything to a halt.

Oliver shouldn’t be living alone when he gets out.

He didn’t want to admit it, but those words had hit him low. Did they think he was still that broken? And if he was, shouldn’t he stay a little longer? He did not want to leave the clinic, go back to his parents’ house, and stare at the walls of his childhood bedroom. But his choices were limited, and as he’d inched closer to a release date, returning to Mason’s became less and less appealing; every time he thought about his room, all he could see were those weeks on the treadmill.

And all of that balled together in his subconscious, mucking him up and sabotaging him.

“A dollar for your thoughts.” Clearly, Ollie’s expression had betrayed him because Finn was staring.

“Isn’t it supposed to be a penny?” Ollie quirked an eyebrow.

“Inflation.” Letting go of Ollie’s hand, Finn pulled a dollar from his wallet, putting it on the table.

“Oh my god, stop it.” Smiling, Ollie shook his head. “I would tell you anyway, it’s just…I think my parents want me to move back in with them after treatment.”

“You think?”

“I heard my mom say that I shouldn’t be living alone.” Ollie slumped in his chair.

“Ah.” Sitting back, Finn rubbed his chin. “I hate to say it but I agree.”

“What?” echoed through the small restaurant as he straightened, tension running up his spine. Thankfully, nobody else sat around them; only their waitress peered out but Ollie didn’t care.

“Hang on.” Finn held up a hand. “The solution to that isn’t moving back in with your parents. They’re an hour away, how would you do the day program? And work? Living at Mason’s isn’t good either because he’s not really there. He’s in the basement all the time, you’d basically be alone.”

“I know.” Ollie deflated again.

“So, the only solution is that you move in with me,” Finn declared, slapping the table.

“What?” echoed again. This time the waitress didn’t look, probably because this was a shriek of delight. Within all those subconscious thoughts and worries had been a wish; Ollie wanted to live with Finn. He’d played those twenty-four hours they’d spent together over and over in his head. That sensuous night, how Ollie had woken with a sense of calm from sleeping next to Finn, sharing meals, going shopping, meeting Uncle Joe, it had all become one giant core memory and Ollie’s heart filled with hope as he realized that he could have that every day. His wish was coming true.

“I don’t want to push things.” Finn held up both hands this time. “It can be a safe place for you to stay, you can even have your own room.”

Getting up, Ollie slid into the other side of the booth, wrapping his arms around Finn. “Fuck having my own room, I’m sleeping in your bed.”

Finn lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really? You’ll move in? That’s a yes?”

“A big yes.” Leaning up, he claimed Finn’s lips and that single kiss had him whirring with desire. It had been months of soft sweet pecks and a few stolen deep kisses but Ollie needed more.

However, this pizza place was not ready for more.

“Two buffalo chickens, one with the fake stuff. Enjoy boys!” The waitress appeared, dropping two personal-sized pizzas in front of them. Ollie’s stomach growled in return, his hunger returning now that his mind had been sorted. Remaining next to Finn, Ollie grabbed a piece, sampling the cheese.

He hummed. “Why is this so good?”

“I told you it’s delicious.” Finn nuzzled his temple. “We’re gonna live together.”

“Don’t get full of yourself.” Turning, Ollie gave him another kiss.

Finn smirked once they parted. “Too late.”

“If you want, Owen and I can get your things and move them into my place, so you don’t have to lift a finger after you get out.” Strolling through a park, they stopped at a bench by a serene pond, Finn putting his arm around Ollie as soon as they sat down.

“Are you sure?” Truthfully, Ollie would love that but it was a huge ask, and yet somehow Finn had intuited exactly what he needed, selflessly offering his help. Every time he did that, Ollie fell a little more in love.

“Very sure. Owen owes me a move anyway.” Pulling Ollie a bit closer, he pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Mason won’t be happy,” Ollie sighed. He’d miss his odd landlord.

“Which is no change from the way he is now. Oh, wait, you probably didn’t hear yet.” Finn chuckled, mischief lining his smile. “He did the big Rushio wedding last week and the groom’s mother was thrilled with him.”

“Really? With Mason?” Shoulders shaking, Ollie laughed in disbelief.

“Yes! She constantly barked orders at everyone and I thought Marci and him were going to team up to throttle her. But she seemed to love his less-than-charming personality and now all her friends and family want to book him.”

“Oh my god, noooo.” Ollie laughed until tears sprung to his eyes. Finn snickered beside him, fist over his lips as if he were about to lose it too, but suddenly, he sobered.

“Come on.” Hauling Ollie up by the hand, Finn headed toward the parking lot. “I want to show you something.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” Giggling, Ollie let Finn half drag him into the car and they took off. “You know, the first time you drove me up to the lookout, for a few seconds I thought you were going to murder me.”

The car swung a bit to the side and instantly corrected. “You thought I was a serial killer? Me?” Finn gestured at his face. “With this gorgeousness?”

Ollie grinned at him. “But then I realized that you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I would if it was biting you. Ah, here we are.” Finn turned onto another one of his secret dirt roads. This one was bumpier than usual, testing the shocks on the SUV as it bounced around until the route came to a sudden end, revealing a picturesque view of a lake. From where they stopped, the water seemed to stretch out endlessly into the horizon; ducks formed v-patterns across its surface and a heron’s reflection shimmered as it flew overhead.

“Wow,” Ollie breathed, head turning as he followed the bird’s path.

“Rideshare has brought me to a lot of cool places.”

“You found this through work? What about the lookout?”

“That I discovered on my own,” Finn told him, moving as close as he could with the center console between them. “But the best part about this place is that it’s private. According to the person I dropped off here, it’s part of a nature preserve, but almost no one knows about it.”

That more Ollie wanted? It was about to be offered to him, and fireworks shot up his spine, his cock twitching for the first time in way too long. “And why would you want privacy, Mr. Cooper?” To his credit, his tone was whisper soft even though he shook with anticipation.

Finn’s eyes glittered as they took in Ollie, their lust and ferocity causing the fireworks to double down, moving into Ollie’s pants and bringing him up to full attention.

“Because we have forty-five minutes left on your day pass.” The wicked grin he gave Ollie should be illegal. “And I’m going to make it count.”

That sentence reeled Ollie in and he tried to hold back as their lips met, not wanting to pour all his pent-up need into Finn at once, but his resolve wore away as a talented tongue licked into his mouth and a large hand rested on the back of his neck, teasing his hairline. Kissing Finn was like having his breath stolen and his lungs filled all at once, curling his toes and making him rock hard; he never wanted to stop.

With a huff through his nose, Ollie reluctantly pulled away, his lips and chin tingling from Finn’s stubble. Calculating the path of least resistance, he threw a leg over the center console; unfortunately; grace had left the car and he struggled a bit before falling into Finn’s lap.

“Sorry.” Giggling, Ollie adjusted until he finally straddled Finn’s lap, his head brushing the ceiling. “That’s better.”

“It certainly is,” Finn agreed, grabbing Ollie’s ass with both hands, causing Ollie to squeak and look back over his shoulder, his unhappiness with his body not fully exorcized, reminding him that the last time they’d done anything like this, he’d been lighter.

“Are you sure you’re okay with-”

A finger pressed against his lips. “I don’t care what you weigh. I don’t care what you look like. I just care that you’re Ollie. Okay? I want Ollie. My sunshine.” Dropping the finger, Finn caressed Ollie’s cheek and that touch erased any of his doubts. “I would never complain about having more of you.”

Ollie had never considered that viewpoint; it made him laugh. “You’re constantly a charmer.”

“I aim to please,” Finn winked, and suddenly Ollie became hyperaware of the solid body beneath him and the cock stiffening against his own.

“You do.” Unable to say something witty or cute when surrounded by Finn, Ollie wrapped his arms around those strong shoulders and leaned in for another kiss. This one was hotter, wetter than the last, and Ollie began to circle his hips, wanting more friction, more Finn, and the hands that kneaded his ass along with the groan that vibrated across his lips let Ollie know that Finn was equally as turned on.

Eventually, they broke apart, their heavy breaths the only sound in the car, and Ollie drank in the feeling of being this close to someone, sharing the same air, the same mind, the same heart. Fingers brushed his cheek again, reverently, and Ollie got lost in Finn’s gaze, going liquid in his arms and smiling into their next kiss.

It didn’t take long for the intensity to rise and Ollie let out a muffled squeak as Finn sucked on his tongue, one of his hands traveling, grasping Ollie’s thigh inches from his straining cock. Not wanting to be outdone, Ollie ground down even more on the tempting bulge beneath him, swallowing Finn’s growl while undoing the button on his thrifted designer jeans.

Finn seemed to have a similar idea, getting his own pants open without breaking the kiss, one hand still on Ollie’s ass, the other attempting to free his cock.

Inhaling sharply through his nose, Ollie broke away, smugly noting Finn’s wet and swollen lips. “Need a little help?” Without waiting for an answer, he reached smoothly into Finn’s briefs, wrapping his fingers around a girth he’d missed dearly. Twisting his wrist, Ollie pumped his hand a few times, smirking as Finn tossed his head back with an obscene groan.

“You’re aware that your dick is ridiculous, right?” Ollie’s fingers barely circled it and he wondered how that thing fit inside him, wanting another demonstration, but time and location granted certain limitations.

Not waiting for Finn’s response, Ollie pumped his hand again, tightening his grip every few strokes while Finn shook, moaned, and clutched at Ollie’s thighs; however, after a few minutes of bliss, Finn suddenly focused, his eyes roaming over Ollie, starting at his tousled curls and moving south. And Ollie was too caught up in providing a five-star handjob to notice that Finn had loosened his death hold until fingers slid up and over the tent in his briefs.

The touch sent a thousand sparks shooting through Ollie’s system and he jolted with a gasp, almost smacking his head on the roof of the car. And he couldn’t catch his breath because Finn followed up by tracing the outline of Ollie’s cock through the soft purple cotton and he jerked again, forgetting about the monster in his hand.

“If you keep doing that, I’ll come.” Ollie sounded wrecked but he didn’t care. “It’s been a while.”

“It’s been just as long for me,” Finn pointed out, the words edged with a growl as he grabbed Ollie’s arms, encouraging Ollie to cling to him, and Ollie let out a hybrid gasp-whine as their cocks pressed together, the sensation almost too much despite the barrier of Ollie’s underwear.

And then that barrier vanished as Finn pulled down the front of his briefs, rubbing a palm up Ollie’s shaft with an appreciative murmur. It throbbed, leaking, and Finn ran his thumb over the tip, spreading the wetness gathered there. Quickly, he took a taste and Ollie’s libido surged, wiping away any rational thought.

Diving for Finn’s mouth, Ollie tasted him again, tilting his hips to find the best angle, but he shouldn’t have bothered because Finn wrapped a hand around both of their cocks, squeezing them tightly, and Ollie completely short-circuited. It took him a moment to realize that the raw choked sounds echoing through the car came from him and that he was clinging to Finn for dear life, one hand anchored in his soft brown hair, the other almost tearing Finn’s shirt.

Needy and desperate, Ollie viciously rocked his hips in that grasp; the feel of Finn’s impressive cock pressed snugly against his own had become the center of his universe, making him sweat and shiver as lust danced over his skin. With a growl, Finn sought out Ollie’s lips, initiating another feverish kiss as he pumped his hand in time to the rocking of their hips, falling into a perfect rhythm that spiraled them up and up, the car bouncing along with them.

Wrenching away to gasp for air, Ollie arched back and came without warning, spurting over Finn’s hand. Speeding up, that hand became a blur and Finn let out a sharp curse, curling forward until his head hit Ollie’s shoulder. Shaking hard, he gasped a few times and Ollie reveled in that sound, making sure to watch as Finn froze, jerked, and then spilled down both of them.

They stayed like that for a bit, Ollie’s skin humming, his post-orgasm world soft and surreal. Once their breathing returned to normal Finn sat up straight and grabbed some tissues from a small box in the center.

“That was amazing.” Giving Ollie a quick kiss, he used more than half his bottle of water to clean them up. Although Ollie was more graceful leaving Finn’s lap than landing in it, he still wasn’t smooth, tumbling over the center console and landing on his right side with a shout that devolved into giggling.

“I guess I can cross that off my bucket list,” he exclaimed, moving around until he sat in the seat.

“What? The double cock thing? Because that was hot.”

“You have zero shame.” Ollie poked Finn in the shoulder, his cheeks burning. “No, I meant fooling around in a car like teenagers.”

“You didn’t do that in high school?” Adjusting the rearview mirror, Finn tried to fix his hair.

“I told you, I was invisible in high school.” However, Ollie was exploring the idea that he might not have been as invisible as he thought, and maybe, like Finn, he’d been discounting some of his experiences.

“Well, we’re going to have to do a lot more bucket list stuff then. What are some of your fantasies?” Finn glanced at him, his gaze far too intense, and Ollie’s blush deepened.

“Can I think on it? Because I have to be back in twenty minutes.”

“Of course.” Finn leaned in, giving Ollie a quick peck. “And don’t worry, the clinic is only ten minutes from here.”

“I’m not worried.” Ollie meant that. Right now, he wasn’t worried. It happened infrequently and had probably been brought on by the orgasm, so he’d appreciate it while it lasted. “I trust you.”

Ollie had to blink twice because it seemed that Finn had a dusting of pink across his cheekbones. “Love you, Sunshine.”

“I love you too.” Joy surged through Ollie’s system and he thanked his past self for leaving the lookout and giving healing another shot, because he would’ve missed this feeling, this blissful, contented feeling. No matter what happened in the future, this moment couldn’t be taken away from him and Ollie would work as hard as he could to have many more of them.