Page 43

ERIK

I had Kayden in bed, his legs pinned back so his knees almost touched his shoulders.

My cock hammered in and out of his hole while my mouth stayed melded to his.

Our tongues lapped over one another. We were one.

For that brief period of time, the world fell away, and I didn’t worry about anything else.

Thoughts of the championship game, Kayden acting like a total asshole, and fears of being left behind once he was drafted had escaped me completely.

My boyfriend wrapped his arms around my neck, like doing so could pull me in closer than we already were, but that was impossible.

Like I said, we were one. Now here’s the crazy thing: It still felt fresh and new.

No matter how many times we’d fucked each other since the season began, it hadn’t grown old.

I’m not saying that each romp with my boyfriend felt like the first time, but it was pretty close.

When Kayden moaned and thrust his head back, I knew I was in complete control. It made me pound him harder and faster, causing the tension to mount. My own breathing quickened, and I felt climax on the horizon. I wanted to slow down, pace myself, but my drive felt too strong.

My boyfriend reached the finish line first. That didn’t surprise me. I could always tell when he was close by the way his breathing picked up and his hold on me tightened. He reached in between us, clamping his hand down on his cock and jerking it.

“Holy fuck,” he said, “I’m gonna come.”

He grunted, and I felt spurts of his hot come splatter onto my stomach, driving me to fuck him at my hardest and fastest pace yet.

I held my breath and felt my own climax inching closer and closer.

At the very last second, I pulled out, gripped my member, and aimed it at his lower body.

Spurts of come landed on his chest and stomach in long, white streaks.

I stayed on my knees, watching over him as the last shudders of orgasm rocked through me.

I released one of several breaths I’d held as my chest heaved in and out.

I laughed a little for some reason, then I practically flopped down onto Kayden, barely able to support my own weight.

I kissed my boyfriend’s lips before rolling off and lying in the space beside him.

Only then did I think about our conversation at his place yesterday.

Okay, it wasn’t a conversation—way more of an argument.

But hey, I’d been right! Well, let’s just say I hadn’t been wrong but hadn’t been completely right either.

Kayden thought I was being jealous. From my point of view, he really did seem to be getting big-headed.

I hadn’t played badly at all, and he’d nitpicked the hell out of me like he was Gordie fucking Howe.

It was a two-way street. He should be begging me for forgiveness. Even still, I didn’t mind being the first to apologize.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” I said. “I didn’t mean to say you were getting a big head and acting like the asshole of the universe.”

“You didn’t say I was acting like the asshole of the universe.”

“Oh wait, I must’ve just been thinking that. Anyway, sorry about the big-headed comment, even if anyone else in the world would say you were getting one.”

“Thanks…I guess.”

Kayden rolled out of bed, grabbed a towel, and wiped my come off of his chest and stomach. I couldn’t help eyeing his cock, which had gone soft but still looked impressive when swinging back and forth while he strutted around naked. If that kept up, I would never return to reality.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I accept your apology.”

And he said nothing else, like he’d had no responsibility for the argument, as if he’d remained the same Mister Perfect he’d been from the moment I’d met him.

I coughed loudly to get my boyfriend’s attention.

“What?” he asked.

“What do you mean what? I think you’ve got something to say to me.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry too.”

He didn’t actually mean that. Not really. But it was enough for us to put the topic to bed—no pun intended—and move on.

“There is something I think we ought to talk about, though,” I said.

“What’s that?”

“Let’s say you do get drafted. We’re gonna be apart. There’s really no way out of that. How are we going to keep our relationship together?”

“This again?”

“What do you mean this again? ”

“I know it’s come up before, but it’s still on my mind. And it bugs me. I probably won’t be able to let it go until we’ve talked about it.”

“You know how I feel about jumping to conclusions,” Kayden said.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that.”

He paused, like I would take that as my cue to shut up. You’d think he would know me better by now.

“And I think we should worry about certain problems only when we get to them,” he said. “Worrying about them right now is useless and will only be a distraction.”

“Look, I’m not saying that we need an ironclad plan right this minute.”

“Then what do you want?”

“How about a rough outline?”

My boyfriend paused, seeming to consider it, but wouldn’t look in my direction. He remained turned slightly away from me, staring at the wall, like that would allow him to weasel out of any commitment I tried to back him into.

“Okay, maybe a rough outline,” he said. “ Maybe . And I reserve the right to make changes if I need to.”

“That’s why they call it a rough outline, Kayden.”

I rolled out of bed and slid my underwear on despite knowing they would come off again soon enough when I took a shower. I sat on the edge of the bed, realizing that my boyfriend was practically pacing.

“If I get drafted, we stay together,” he said. “Simple enough, don’t you think? I’m happy with where we’re at. I’m not looking for anything else.”

“You’re saying nothing’s gonna happen to us?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”

“What about temptation? You’ve got to admit, there’s gonna be a shit ton of that in pro hockey, even in the minors. Think you can handle it?”

“Of course I can. I don’t want any other guys. I just want you. Maybe you don’t believe that, but I’m totally serious.”

“But I’m not talking about guys. Not just guys, anyway. What about the women?”

“What about them?”

I said nothing more. He could fill in the blanks, couldn’t he?

I hadn’t experienced attraction to either sex since I’d been with Kayden.

You know, nothing more than finding someone attractive, but no urges to jump their bones or be with them in any way, shape, or form.

That says a lot since I’m a college student.

The place was swarming with hot men and women.

Technically, it was possible to resist an insane amount of temptation.

But did that necessarily apply to Kayden?

Fuck no.

“Okay, we’ll say for a moment that you really don’t care about men or women,” I said. “But how are we going to get around everything?”

“Like what?”

“Like, the geography, dude. You’ll be god knows where, and I’ll be in Buffalo. Unless I get drafted someplace too. That’ll make matters worse, won’t it? More complications.”

“You’re thinking of possibilities that could happen, not necessarily the ones that will .”

“I’m sorry if I can actually see the problems even if you can’t.”

When my boyfriend drew a deep breath, I realized how close I’d brought us to another fight. I didn’t want that, even if I did want Kayden to start thinking about cold, hard reality.

Someone had to do it, right?

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” he said. “You’ve probably thought about my being drafted by the Leafs more than I have. It’s like you’re obsessed or something.”

“Seriously?”

He nodded. “It really feels like that. And I’m not saying that it’s about jealousy or anything. It’s just…”

“No, you got that comment out the other day.”

“I thought we both apologized for that argument.”

“You’re right. Fuck.”

God, I hated it when my boyfriend had a point.

“I’ve noticed something,” he said.

“About what? Us?”

“No, Erik, about life.”

“And what’s that?”

“That things tend to work out in the end. That’s why I don’t worry about the little shit.”

“I can’t believe you think something as important as this is just little shit.”

I felt my own temperature rising, and Kayden must’ve noticed because he paused, seeming to reconsider.

“Okay, bad choice of words,” he said. “Let’s call it something I can’t control. I mean, I can do something , but for the most part I’ve got to just let things play out. When that stuff happens, it always seems to work out okay.”

“It’s still not nothing. We’re talking about being drafted by an NHL team. The freaking big-time. How can you ever call that small?”

“Again, it’s just a bad choice of words. I don’t really think it’s that small. But the things that come with it are definitely out of my control. And you know what you do with the things you can’t control?”

You can’t worry about them, was the answer he wanted, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

I shook my head. Like I said, this could devolve into an argument at any moment, which I didn’t need, so I wanted to be careful. At the same time, I couldn’t believe my boyfriend could treat the topic so casually. I knew he could be thick-headed, but this was getting ridiculous.

“I know you don’t believe me,” he said, “and I know it drives you crazy, but things really do have a weird way of working out for the best. At least in my world they do.”

“So, we’re just going to have to wait around and see? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Sometimes you’ve got to live with some uncertainty, bro.”

“Says the guy who’s mapped out his entire life.”

“You need goals, something to shoot for. I don’t apologize for aiming sky-high. Maybe that plan sounds silly to you, but I’ve stuck to it, always believed in it, and look where it’s gotten me.”

And he stopped himself there. I realized right then that my boyfriend was incapable of seeing my side of things. What did they call that anyway? Being emotionally unavailable?

Yeah, I could tell him that. It would start a whole new argument, which wouldn’t get us anywhere. I didn’t worry so much about him denying that he was emotionally unavailable. I worried that he wouldn’t even know what it meant.

In the meantime, our relationship would keep slipping away from us, and I would be helpless to do anything about it.