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KAYDEN

W e were in the conference championship game.

Hang on a second. Let me say that again.

We were in the conference championship game .

Like, just one step closer to the championship series.

God, that felt so good. I repeated that phrase to myself ad nauseum.

If I didn’t, I would’ve barely believed we’d made it that far.

You’d think I fully expected to make it that far—and beyond.

It would’ve been a total given, right? Something about actually reaching that stage felt different to me than I’d expected.

It felt dreamlike, surreal, and I needed to drink it all in.

As I absorbed all that’d been happening to me, to us, I couldn’t help thinking long and hard about Erik’s on-ice performance.

He’d played well, don’t get me wrong. He’d even be great one day.

But he had these moments where his inconsistencies showed.

Like, he slowed down when he should’ve picked up the pace. His timing seemed off.

It wasn’t criminal, don’t get me wrong. Nerves could’ve gotten the best of him for all I knew. Not that I blamed him for that per se. I’d had plenty of butterflies in my own stomach—I’m only human, after all. But the point is that I wouldn’t let them stand in the way of my ultimate goal.

Erik had come over to my place after the game.

We hit the bedroom immediately because everyone deserved a reward.

The sex continued to be stellar; he hadn’t slacked at that.

Oh yeah, we’d meant to put stuff like that aside, owing to the potential distraction, but we needed something to ease our tension too. Like I said, I’m only human.

My boyfriend lay naked in my bed when I stood up and took a moment to admire him like a painting in a museum.

Then I slipped my underwear on. Aside from hot sex, the Larkin Lions and reaching the championship series were the only things on my mind.

Well, that and going back to Erik for a second round.

But back to business.

“You’re gonna have to pick it up for the conference championship game, you know.” I said it without thinking. Whatever. This was serious stuff and needed to be said.

“What do you mean? We won the game, didn’t we?”

“I know we did, but we’ve got to win the next game and then the next. We can’t have any dicking around. You know how high the stakes are.”

“Of course I do. I’m not an idiot.”

Erik’s voice sounded so sharp that I couldn’t possibly miss the notes of irritation. That didn’t bother me exactly, but I knew I would have to address it before it interfered with our play.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Come on, Erik. Don’t be like that. I know when something’s wrong, so you might as well come right out and say it.”

“Well, for one thing, you don’t need to critique my play.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Why wouldn’t you? Dude, it’s not up to you to tell me how to play hockey. That’s Coach Hardison’s job last time I checked.”

“And it’s my job as team captain to hold you accountable. I mean, co-captain.”

My boyfriend smiled and nodded, like he just knew that my mistake wasn’t really that much of a goof-up.

“Erik,” I said, “you were skating with two left feet for some of that last game. What was I supposed to say? You were as graceful as a ballerina?”

“Nothing, and shut up! I was not skating with two left feet and I’m not a fucking ballerina.”

“You played well, but you were a little off by your usual standard. What am I supposed to do? Pretend you were Wayne Gretzky out there?”

“You could’ve done the decent thing and not said anything at all.”

“That’s not how this works. You know that.”

“How would you like it if I nitpicked the hell out of your play like that? You didn’t exactly have a perfect game, you know.”

“I never said I had a perfect game.”

“And how would you like it if I were as blunt as humanly possible. Would you take it seriously?”

“Of course I would. You know why? Because I can handle criticism. That’s what makes us better, and I’m constantly striving for that. And, you know what? If I have areas where I need to improve, I would expect you to tell me. Don’t beat around the bush, bro.”

My boyfriend froze like I’d backed him into a corner.

Now, he suddenly ceased to be the guy that’d just given me the orgasm of a lifetime with his exceptional skill and massive cock.

I hadn’t been joking either. I can handle constructive criticism with the best of them.

I really would’ve expected Erik to call me out on shortcomings.

I couldn’t help that he had become more sensitive to just about everything as time passed.

“Let’s just forget this,” I said.

“Let’s not. Now that you’ve brought it up, I think we need to talk about it.”

Oh yeah, that was my stubborn, bullheaded side shining through loud and clear. If Erik was going to be like that, he would get as much of that side of me as he could handle.

“You want me to talk?” he asked. “Okay, let’s talk. Let’s talk about the fact that I didn’t play all that badly—in fact, I played a pretty solid game—and you’re acting like I was playing Little League hockey out there.”

“I never said you were playing Little League hockey. Quit putting words in my mouth.”

“I didn’t put words in your mouth. I said you’re acting like I was playing Little League hockey, and there’s a difference. If you don’t want to get caught up in arguments like this, you should stay in your own lane.”

“Stay in my own lane.” I laughed a little. “That’s a good one, Erik. As far as I’m concerned, I am staying in my own lane. It’s not even about being a co-captain. Everyone on this hockey team needs to hold each other accountable. That’s the mark of a championship team, don’t you get it?”

My boyfriend rolled out of bed and inched closer to me. Part of me still wanted to stroke that cock of his and to take him like he’d taken me earlier, but I would never escape this argument.

“You know,” he said, “you’ve changed your tune ever since the Maple Leafs contacted you.”

That was it. Now we were drawing closer to the real issue.

“Oh, I see what you’re saying,” I said. “You think my criticism is because the Leafs are thinking about drafting me?”

“Thinking? You’ve been acting like it’s a done deal this whole time?”

“I’ve got news for you, pal. I have always been this arrogant.”

I paused, wishing I could call back that last phrase.

“No argument there,” Erik said. “And you’ve got to admit, you’ve been even more of a hothead ever since that Leon Purvis dude showed up.”

“I get what you’re saying now. It all makes sense.

It’s not that you don’t like me pointing out where you need to improve.

You’re all butthurt knowing that I could be making the big time, and you’ll still be in college.

Well, I’ve got news for you, bro. You could be in the exact same position as me if you were willing to work harder. ”

Now I expected my boyfriend to slug me. I balled my fists and steeled myself in case he really did it. His face reddened, and the tension in the room grew palpable, but he didn’t hit me. But that didn’t everything was okay. Not by a long shot.

Okay, maybe I was out of line with that hard work comment. I could acknowledge that. I had enough humility to admit when I’m wrong.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean for that to come out that way.”

“Bullshit, dude. You totally did.”

“I’m serious. That’s not what I meant. I just got a little ahead of myself.”

Erik turned from me as if to say it was too late to take that back now. Great. So much for that second round.

“It’s just hard not to think that maybe jealousy is getting the best of you,” I said.

“Well, it isn’t.”

“Glad you cleared that up.”

“I shouldn’t need to. Yeah, you could get drafted by the Leafs. Big deal. That doesn’t mean you can start telling others how to play hockey.”

I should’ve known something like this would happen sooner or later.

On one hand, his petty jealousy showed. How could it not?

Erik wanted to play in the NHL as badly as I did, and I would almost definitely get that chance ahead of him.

Mister Rational was losing his shit over it. That wasn’t my problem.

On the other hand, he wasn’t wrong. Maybe I had become even a bigger prick than my normal arrogant, conceited self.

I should’ve been more careful about how I criticized him.

Not that it was wrong to do it in general—full accountability, right?

But maybe I should’ve known that my boyfriend would react that way.

Okay, I’m just gonna say it: Maybe I should’ve kept my big mouth shut.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t think I was wrong to say what I did, but that doesn’t make it right. Does that make sense?”

“No, Kayden, it doesn’t make sense.”

“I really don’t want to start a fight. Not now.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have opened that big mouth of yours.”

Ooooooh, that one was a little rough. As a matter of fact, I sort of wished he had taken a swing at me. At least that would’ve sounded more like something a hockey player would do.

“Let’s just let it go.”

He said it so abruptly like he meant to have the final word.

Then he marched naked into the bathroom.

And I copped a look at his perfect ass, wondering how anything could seem so incredible.

Normally, I would’ve followed an ass like that wherever it went, mostly so I could score round two, but I also hated ending any exchange that way.

No matter what, I always needed closure.

I realized that there was no way on earth that would happen now.

It didn’t matter what I said or did. Erik would find some way to turn the conversation around on me or ratchet up the tension in some non-sexual way.

And that was bad news.

When I heard the shower water spraying, I knew the conversation really was over whether I liked it or not.

And Erik had won the argument—you know, if giving me a thrashing and then walking away really counted as winning.

Oh yeah, I could join him in the shower and change the subject as only I knew how, but I knew better.

I just had to hope this wouldn’t become a habit before we hoisted the championship trophy.