Page 17

KAYDEN

I liked what happened between us. Loved it, actually.

Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have crowed about that hookup to the guys and sure as shit wouldn’t have told people I loved it.

But it’s true. Something about the loss of control felt so sweet, so right…

so perfect. I felt hungry, and only a romp with Erik De Ruiter would satisfy me.

Same for my teammate. No matter how much the sex had drained me, I didn’t sleep that night, but it wasn’t all bad.

The whole thing replayed over and over in my head, an endless loop.

I licked my lips, dreaming of a second round.

The next day, I eyed Erik in the team room for so long that Coach Hardison’s words turned into a muffled garble.

Think of the kid who falls asleep in class, absorbing absolutely nothing from the teacher.

As I admired Erik, I thought about him naked.

No, that’s not right. He wasn’t completely naked at the start.

You could say I undressed him with my eyes, one article of clothing at a time, until he was nude.

Oh God, it drove me crazy.

As I drifted into my daydream, I remembered the look of ecstasy on his face. His cries of pleasure still rang in my ears. I made him come too. No matter what happened, that always felt like an accomplishment.

I couldn’t let something like this pass. Like, I would normally pretend a loss of control like that had never happened. I should’ve felt ashamed of this one, but I didn’t. I felt good—far too good to ignore.

When Coach Hardison dismissed us, I stayed behind, not to hang with Erik, but because I was the leader. Erik would also stay behind, seeing himself as the leader, too, because that was how my teammate operated. It just finally benefitted me, that was all.

Erik glanced at me and then looked away, proceeding to the door. You know, like he’d seen me but had pretended not to. This, after the greatest experience of his life.

I slipped in front of the door, blocking him.

“You going to stand there like that all day?” he asked.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Depends on whether you’re going to talk to me or not.”

“Listen, if this is about what happened in the locker room?—”

“Oh, it’s nothing like that, Erik. I wanted to talk to you about the crisis in the Middle East. Of course I want to talk to you about what happened in the locker room.”

He didn’t draw a deep breath or roll his eyes. His hesitation alone told me that he didn’t want to talk about this, like maybe it was a sore point for him.

“You’re looking good today.” I scanned him up and down.

“You mean that?”

“Of course I do. I would’ve expected you to be walking funny after the pounding I gave you.”

“Get a life, Kayden.”

“That was really hot, you know. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my whole life.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Was it as good for you as it was for me? Wait, what am I asking here? Of course it was.”

“ I’m Kayden Preston” sounded like a natural end to that sentence, but I held off. If Erik thought I was a pompous ass before, he hadn’t seen anything yet.

That kid eyed the door as if searching for an out. Before, he’d been the one blocking the door to keep me from escaping. Now, the roles had flipped. If he wanted to play games, he could count me in.

“Going somewhere?” I asked.

“Yeah. Class.”

“Not until we’ve talked about this. It’s for the good of the team.”

Those were the magic words, I guess, because he shuffled back into the room and fell into a seat.

“I guess something like that can’t go unaddressed,” he said, “even if it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“What the hell do you mean it was going to happen sooner or later?”

“Come on, Kayden. Even a moron like you can figure that out.”

Before, I would’ve been pissed at him for dropping an insult like that.

Now I didn’t give a shit. This was the guy I’d controlled, dominated, and given an orgasm.

I’d told him to tell me I was sexy, and he told me I was sexy.

I just had to maintain my cool confidence, and everything would go my way. ”

“I see you need help with this one,” he said. “You wanted me really badly.”

“No, you wanted me really badly.”

“Whatever. Things were getting pretty tense between us. Hot, actually.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. Yeah, I sounded mighty proud of myself, but why shouldn’t I have? Think about it. Instead of chickening out, I embraced the moment and showed Erik ecstasy like he’d never known…or anything I’d experienced either.

“Say what you want,” he said, “but this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been so stubborn. If you’d just come back down to earth, if you’d been willing to talk through some of these things?—”

“Whoa, whoa, wait. Back up, bro. This wasn’t a mistake.”

“Wasn’t it?”

“You make it sound like I’m mad about what we did or that I regret it?”

“Don’t you?”

“Fuck no. That was awesome. I don’t know how I didn’t get into that stuff sooner.”

“So, you’re going to start hooking up with guys now?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Then what are you saying? I asked myself. Do you even know?

“I think you’ve lost me, dude,” he said. “By the way, it’s official now.”

“What’s official?”

“You’ve had a homosexual experience.”

“The two times we tongue-wrestled before that wasn’t enough?”

“Nope. It doesn’t count as a homosexual experience unless you reach orgasm. Not according to the experts.”

“Not this again.”

“Don’t you want to think that what we did was normal?”

Only Erik De Ruiter would turn the hottest experience of our lives into a science project.

"Look," I said, "let’s not get off track here. What I’m saying is I do wish something like that had happened before, but I only want to hook up with you .”

“How sweet.”

He stood up, expressionless, like he’d had enough of this conversation, and headed to the door. I scrambled to stop him.

“What do you mean ‘how sweet’?”

“I’m glad you’re not mad. I’m glad you don’t regret it. And I’m glad you can come to grips with what we did.”

“And…?”

“And what?”

“We’re gonna do this again, aren’t we?”

He shrugged, like he wouldn’t say no but also had no intention of committing.

“You’re gonna play that game, huh?” I asked. “Do all Canadians do this?”

“What does this have to do with Canadians?”

“Being difficult. All of you are pains in the ass. I was just asking an honest question. And I wouldn’t have had to ask that question if you’d answered the first one.”

“No.”

I didn’t hear that. Like, I heard the word, but it totally didn’t register with me. I don’t mind telling you that no one ever says that word to me. Why the hell did Erik De Ruiter have to go and be the first?

“Okay,” I said, “I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that.”

“Why not? It won’t change the answer.”

All right, this kid had been a pain in the ass before, but now he was really testing my patience. I couldn’t snap at him, though. If I did, he would really play hardball.

“I know you wanted that to happen,” I said. “Don’t deny it. I’m not saying I wanted it. I’m just willing to accept that it did, that I really loved it, and I’m coming back for more.”

“It’s not happening, Kayden.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s just not the sort of thing I’ve ever done before.”

“Well, duh . I’d never been with a guy before either. I’m not saying I would do this with any guy. Just you. So, what do you say to doing it again?”

He shook his head.

I choked, trying to force the words out. My blood pressure spiked. What the hell did I have to tell this kid to win him over?

“Look,” I said, “I know the locker room is kind of an awkward place, not to mention that anyone could’ve walked in on us. And the bench was really hard—but not as hard as I was, huh?”

“There you go congratulating yourself again.”

“But you can come over to my place, and we can actually do it in a bed. I have a roommate, but he’s never there. No worries about privacy.”

“This isn’t about privacy, Kayden. Okay, maybe it is a little about that. I won’t lie to you. I did want it, but felt like I’d rushed into things.”

“Now who’s the scared one?”

“I’m not scared, Kayden. Do you see me denying anything?”

“No.”

“I can’t do this with just anyone. Not when my head is clear.”

“I guess you never had a girlfriend back home, huh?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“And she never put out for you?”

He lifted an eyebrow like that was too crass for his delicate sensibilities.

“We had sex,” he said. “People do have sex in Canada, you know. But we didn’t just tear one off, if you get what I’m saying.”

“I don’t think I do get what you’re saying.”

“I can’t just have sex with someone that easily.”

“That ship has already sailed, bro.”

“Yeah, it’s too late because we both got carried away, and I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. If I’d really known what I was doing…if I’d been thinking rationally…”

“You wouldn’t have done it.”

“Maybe not right then, but…”

“Okay, I don’t know where you’re going with this. Are you saying you wouldn’t have done this if you hadn’t lost your mind?”

“Something like that.”

I paused, drifting deep into thought. Erik stole that opportunity to slip out the door and leave me standing there like a complete idiot.

I’m telling you, this kid was impossible. First, he wanted me to talk about things. Second, he gave it all up for me. Third, he started being the difficult one. Maybe that was all part of his master plan. He was playing hard to get. If so, then I was totally game.