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ERIK

“ Y ou’re gonna kill me with this stuff,” I said, peering down at my lasagna and savoring the aroma.

“Au contraire,” Kayden said. “This stuff’s good for you. It’ll keep you going when your energy levels are about to shit the bed.”

“Lovely imagery, Kayden. Well, god knows I definitely need to have everything in the tank that I can get. We won today, but we’ve still got more games before that championship trophy is ours.”

Man, just saying that lifted my heart. Okay, confession time: I’d dreamed about it constantly, forever imagining how being a national champion would look and feel.

We’d worked a tough grind all season, but I still couldn’t believe it was now a legit part of the conversation.

I wouldn’t jinx it, though, and act like our remaining playoff games would be a piece of cake. Talk about a surefire way to fail.

I had to hand it to Kayden. For all his flaws—and trust me, he had thousands—he knew how to make me feel special in his own way.

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but Kayden’s lasagna dinner was about more than food and effort.

It afforded us the chance to celebrate our latest win privately as a couple without including all the guys.

It also gave my boyfriend a chance to rant about upcoming games, which I’d finally decided to find charming.

“You’ve got to think about it like this,” Kayden said. “The playoffs are a completely new season. All the regular season wins you’ve racked up don’t mean shit. We’ve got to prove ourselves all over again.”

“Right, but we’re nearly at the end of the playoffs.”

“Then think of it like a football team coming back to the field after halftime. Don’t matter how lopsided the score was at halftime, you’ve got to think of it as a zero-zero game.”

Of course, he was right—only I’d never admit it to him.

I knew all these things, and yet it didn’t hurt to remind myself.

The image of us hoisting the championship trophy sneaked into my mind, one of many sweet daydreams. Initially, the image showed me holding the trophy up for the crowd to see.

Then Kayden slipped in front of me and grabbed it.

I laughed a little because I couldn’t even fantasize without Kayden trying to one-up me.

Then I dashed that image from my mind. I couldn’t think like that, not with so much on the line. I didn’t dare share that with Kayden because he would flip. Take it one game at a time, he would say. That was one of the few areas in which I would never argue with him.

When I finally tasted the lasagna, I swore I’d gone to heaven. It even beat his chicken parmesan, which I considered a feat.

“Where did you learn to cook like this?” I asked.

“My mom.”

“Seriously?”

“Uh-huh. Did you think I’m just a one-dish wonder?”

“No, it’s just that usually guys on our team are lucky if they know how to defrost.”

“Well, I’m more multifaceted than you thought, huh?”

“Do you really want that getting around?”

“Hell no, and not because the guys will think I’m some kind of soft, doughy wimp. They’re gonna expect me to feed them, too, and you know their appetites.”

“Good point.”

I knew what would come next—the only thing that could logically follow this moment. When I stared across the table at Kayden, taking in his sexy features, I decided that was fine by me. But I would take charge of this one. Kayden didn’t have to like it.

We spent the rest of the time shooting the shit about hockey,even challenging each other with hockey trivia. Until I met Kayden, I’d never known anyone with such a command of the sport’s history…among non-Canadians, I mean.

It was nice bein able to enjoy one another’s company with no strings attached.

You know, the sort of thing that real couples do, even if Kayden had hesitated at each new step.

Even still, I knew where things were headed tonight, and it was going to be smoking hot.

But it could wait. I wanted to enjoy the relaxing moment.

After Kayden drained the last of his wine, we stood up, linked hands, and shuffled to the couch. Kayden paused. I saw that look in his eyes. He was hungry in a way that even his lasagna dinner couldn’t satisfy.

I paused and then shuffled closer to him, my eyes never leaving his. We fell into each other’s arms but didn’t paw at one another like we had when all this was new. No grunting or groaning either. Our lips met, and my tongue lapped over his. Kayden tasted so much better when we took it slow.

I’d learned to savor every ounce of these moments after gaining some much-needed man-on-man experience.

I slid my arms around his waist, my hands scratching against his back, and then I squeezed his chest against mine.

I felt Kayden’s erection press against my leg.

He reached in between us, his hand groping my crotch and squeezing my ready member, and I moaned.

“You like that, don’t you?” he asked.

“Mmmhmmmmmm.”

“And you know what I’m gonna do to you, right?”

“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?”

If Kayden thought he was going to take charge of this, he had another thing coming. I didn’t mind him trying, though. Sometimes the challenge made it fun. Coming out on top made it satisfying.

He raised his arms when I reached for his belt buckle and whipped the strap out from the loops.

I meant to push him onto the couch and make wild, passionate love to him, but he wouldn’t be deterred.

When I kissed him, he pulled his lips away from mine, kissing my cheek and jaw before burying his face in my neck.

The sudden jolt of pleasure made me gasp. My head thrust back, and I felt my knees buckle. For a moment, I honestly thought I might faint. Yeah, I thought I could take control of this, but Kayden did everything in his power to show me that taking control and keeping it were two different things.

He cupped my ass, pressing himself against me, and I felt every ounce of willpower drain out of me.

“Oh, my god, I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too, bro.”

Wait a second, what did he just say?

For a moment, it honestly sounded like Kayden had just said he loved me. Yes, that Kayden. You know, the big dope that couldn’t express his feelings, even if his life depended on it?

Only that couldn’t be right. This was the kid that had basically claimed that his tongue experienced temporary paralysis when it came to using that phrase…at least when I was involved.

“Hang on,” I said.

Kayden kept kissing my neck like I’d said nothing. He almost whisked me back to the same dreamlike ecstasy as before. But I couldn’t hear those words and not address them. For all I knew, he would never say it again.

“Stop for a second, would you?”

But Kayden kept on, fully immersed in passion. He anchored me in it with him, like trying to pull someone underwater with you.

Finally, I pushed him away. Hunger ignited his eyes, and he looked ready to pounce on me at any second. He had me right where he wanted me, but I couldn’t let him take control after what I just heard.

“What did you just say?” I asked.

“You know what I said.”

He froze, eyes shifting, like he didn’t really know what he’d said.

“I know,” I said, “but it was really muffled. Your face was buried in my neck for god’s sake.”

“I love you.”

“Yeah, that was it. Can you try saying it again.”

“I love you.”

That was it! Now I knew the problem. He’d said the words, sure, but they sounded so flat.

“Why did you just say that?” I asked.

“Because you said it first…and because things are getting seriously hot here. I’ll say anything if the temperature soars high enough.”

When I peered down at the powerful bulge in Kayden’s pants, I knew I’d brought my boyfriend to a boil—or worse.

“I was worried about that,” I said.

“Wait,” he said. “Are you out of your mind? I thought you wanted me to say that.”

“I know you did, but…”

I wanted you to really mean them, I thought. No way would I say that, though. I knew better than to upset the moment. As it was, I must’ve frustrated him.

“And it’s not enough for you,” he said.

“It’s not about that. It’s just that when you said it…I didn’t know if you were really feeling it.”

“Not feeling it? Look at this, would you?”

With two hands, he pointed down at the hard-on that still hadn’t wilted. I diverted my eyes. No need to risk having temptation win the day.

“I’m not talking about sex,” I said. “I know things are really heating up.”

“I’ll say! I’m glad I don’t have a sprinkler system in this place. I’d have water damage everywhere.”

“All I’m saying is that the words sounded kind of flat. Anyone would have doubts.”

“I mean it, Erik. Pull your head out of your ass. I wouldn’t say words if I didn’t mean it.”

Only I knew that wasn’t completely true. He’d had to be pushed before. If I hadn’t brought it up, he probably wouldn’t have said it at all.

“You’re not going to turn this into something, are you?” he asked.

“I’m not turning it into anything.”

“Then why don’t we pick up where we left off?”

He shuffled closer to me, and my arms closed around him.

Oh my god, the guy was still rock hard. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve wondered if he stashed a hoard of blue pills in a cupboard above his bathroom sink.

He lowered me down onto the couch and made love to me as only Kayden Preston could.

Yeah, I let him take charge instead of dominating him like I’d planned. Sure, it was nice to hear him finally say those words, but I still felt unsatisfied. Like, did he truly feel it or say it out of obligation?