Page 7

Chapter 7

Jessie

All of this part is in a daze.

Thunder. Lightning. A jolt through my entire body. Silence.

It was one of my nightmares, but like usual, I couldn’t tell that it wasn’t real. It’s hard to tell sometimes what’s reality and what’s still part of the dream, almost like they have layers.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” a voice asked me. Tears poured down my face. I tried to explain it, but all I could do was cry. “It’s okay, honey. It’s just a dream. You’re okay.”

Strong arms surrounded and held me. A hand stroked my back. I sobbed as a soft cloth wiped my tears. “You’re safe, Jessie.” A kiss pressed to the top of my head. “I’ve got you. It was just a dream.”

I let myself be wrapped up in the warmth. Vibrations of a familiar song shook through whatever I was snuggling. A sweet, deep voice, like honey, slowed my pounding heart and lulled me back to sleep.

* * *

Hours later, I actually felt good .

I’d slept. My muscles felt good. I was warm. My head was nestled onto Cole, something he rarely let me do because he doesn’t like cuddles when he sleeps. His arm was even wrapped around me, keeping me snug and secure. Maybe all wasn’t lost with Cole and me.

I hadn’t slept that well in months. Maybe years? I couldn’t remember the last time I slept like that — no sleeping pill, no insane sleep hygiene routine.

Except Cole didn’t smell like Cole. It was cleaner, an aquatic scent. And his body felt firmer than usual. I stirred, trying to put it all together. I pressed a kiss to his neck, which was scruffier than his typical clean shave.

“Morning, babe,” I rasped. “You smell good.” My hand slid down and brushed over a very impressive hard-on. I moved my fingers over his shaft, thinking ahead to a morning romp. Maybe it would be more successful than the night before.

“Hey,” came a deep voice. Deeper than Cole’s. My head snapped up.

Oh my God. Mikey .

I shoved myself away, shaking. “What? What the fuck happened?!” Panic was the undertow that threatened to suck me under. Mikey reached for my hand, but I held it away.

“Hey, relax, Jess. It’s okay.”

“Okay?! I was snuggling in your chest and touching your dick! I kissed your neck!”

“I’ll forgive it,” he said with a chuckle. “But you can go back for more if you want.”

“Jesus, God, no!” I shrieked.

“Okay, you don’t have to act horrified.”

“What happened?!”

“You fell asleep on the rooftop. I stayed up there with you because I didn’t want you to get murdered. Then it started raining. I couldn’t wake you up, so I carried you down here.”

“Raining? Was it storming? Was there thunder?”

Ben looked confused. “No. It wasn’t. Anyway, I tried to get into your apartment, but Cole didn’t answer and I didn’t want to dig through your pockets for your keys.”

“Wha... how... your shoulder?”

“It was fine. You’re not that heavy,” he assured me. “And you had a nightmare. Do you get those a lot?”

Mikey was the one who helped me through my nightmare? There was so much information to take in.

“You cuddled me! With a boner!” I tucked my legs under me. I was still in my same clothes from the night before. We weren’t even under Ben’s sheets. He’d pulled a blanket over us on top of the duvet. That probably confirmed that nothing untoward happened beyond the canoodling I’d just initiated. Entirely on accident.

“It’s just morning wood, Jessalyn. It’ll go away in a minute. I was sleeping, too, you know.” Ben rubbed his fingers across his forehead and yawned. “You want coffee?”

“Coffee? No. I need to leave. Where are my shoes?”

“I threw them down by the door.”

I stood, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why were we snuggling?”

“That was all you, Sweet Cheeks. I put you on your side and you just came over,” Ben said with a laugh.

“Why didn’t you sleep on the couch?”

Ben seemed annoyed. “I’m sorry, princess. I wanted a good night of sleep, too. Seems like you slept pretty damn good, so I’m not sure why you’re complaining so much. I didn’t want you to wake up and freak out not knowing where you were.”

My eyes must have been bugged out of my head as I processed everything.

“Shit, my phone!” I cried.

“I plugged it in. It’s on the kitchen island.”

I scrambled out of the room, tears pricking my eyes. Ben came into the kitchen as I was reading my messages, looking fine as hell in a pair of gray sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. The shirt I’d just had my face nestled into.

My phone held message after message of Cole looking for me. Where are you? Why didn’ t you come home? Hope you’re okay, Caterpillar. Well, I’m going for my run.

“Why are you so upset?” Ben asked.

“Cole’s going to think I cheated. He’s already accused me of it.”

Ben shook his head. “Fuck Cole.” His voice was harsh. I glared at him. Ben went on. “That guy isn’t treating you the way you deserve, Jessie.”

“Listen, you might think you know everything about me, but you don’t know shit. Alright, Jockey? I have to go home.”

I turned to go but Ben crossed the room at light speed. I backed up against the door and he put a hand on the doorframe, leaning toward me. His body’s heat pressed into me, though we weren’t actually touching. He hung his head to meet mine, amber eyes burning with an intensity I hadn’t seen. His voice came out as a commanding growl.

“You think he’s giving you what you want. You think you want nice. Stable. Boring. But how’s that working out for you? He’s accusing you of cheating on him.”

Ben’s eyes flicked between mine, and he went on. “Nice isn’t what you need. You need someone who scares you a little bit. Someone who surprises you. Someone who supports you just as much as you support them. Someone who loves you so fully and completely that there’d be no reason to think you’d ever cheat. Someone who would stop the elevator to push your skirt up and feast on you. Someone who would fuck you so good in the coat closet at a party that they have to put their hand over your mouth to keep you from screaming. Someone who would treat you like the princess you are on the streets but turn you loose at home in ways you never imagined. Someone who would make you come until you can’t fucking stand it and you’re begging for mercy. That’s what you need, Jessalyn. You need to be loved, well and thoroughly.”

I trembled under him, breathless. Why was I so wet? Why were my nipples tiny hardened peaks? Why did his mouth look so tempting gaping in front of mine? Why could I feel every inch of my own skin? Why did I want to reach out and push his pants down, drop to my knees, and show him what a woman I am?

“I have to go,” I managed. He stepped back to let me leave.

Before the door slammed behind me, Ben called, “You’re welcome.”

* * *

“It’s not a good look, Jessie,” Cole moped. “Think of it from my perspective.”

We stood in our kitchen on opposite ends of the counter. It was better that way. He was just back from his Saturday morning run and smelled atrocious.

“Yeah, I get that. But I swear, nothing happened. I just fell asleep. He tried to bring me here but you didn’t hear the door.”

The coffee pot beeped as the final drops gurgled into the carafe, and I poured us each a cup. I started to put cream in Cole’s cup.

“I just like it black now,” he said miserably.

“Oh? When did that start?”

“I started buying us better coffee. It doesn’t need cream. You didn’t even notice.”

“Cole, that’s not fair. I did notice. I just think all coffee needs cream. Sorry, I usually drink coffee at 4:30 in the morning. I’m not exactly feeling philosophical about coffee at that hour.”

We fell quiet as we sipped from our mugs. His was from the one time we took his niece to Disneyland. Mine was an ode to the biscuits from my favorite biscuit shop back home.

Cole ran a hand through his hair, his agitation building again. “That jock try to touch you?”

I focused on keeping my breathing even and remaining calm. I didn’t want to give anything away to Cole, especially not Mikey’s little speech against his front door that left me soaking wet. I woke up in Mikey’s arms. He definitely touched me when I had my nightmare. And sang me back to sleep. But it wasn’t sexual. He was just sweet. If anything, I was the accidental creep.

“No. Everything was fine. It was sleeping. That’s it,” I said. “If anything, I should thank him. I was rude when I left.”

Cole rolled his eyes. “Don’t think he’s not trying to hit on you, Jess. You’re so na?ve sometimes.”

“Wow, you’re right. It would be my first time dealing with the advances of men. I have no idea what that’s like.”

I moved to our bedroom to put on some clothes for a walk. I needed out of our apartment. Cole followed me.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk.”

“So you’re just running off? We have more to discuss.”

I turned to him, flailing my hands. “What else is there to say? You went for a run this morning when you thought I was a missing person. You’ve decided I’m cheating on you, so therefore, I must be. Isn’t that the long and short of it?”

“Don’t get like this,” he warned.

“Then say whatever it is you think I need to hear.”

“Fine. It’s hard for me to trust you right now. You come out of nowhere with this crazy sex stuff and sleeping in beds with other men. And you expect me to be fine with it. How are you so sure he didn’t take advantage of you, Jessie?”

I shoved my shirt over my head and stomped toward him. “Even if he had, how would that be my fault? Should I have not worn that dress, either? Jesus, Cole. I’m out of here.”

“Jessie, you know I wouldn’t blame you if he did!” Cole tried.

“Yeah, then why are you?” I had the door handle in my hand. “And by the way, if wanting you to want me or wishing you cared about my pleasure enough to get me off first is ‘crazy sex stuff,’ then I guess I’ve just been a freak all along.”

I slammed the door behind me on my way out.