Page 21

Chapter 21

Jessie

“So, I kinda have a new roommate.”

I shifted down the craft services line with Kitty, picking out breakfast before shooting started for the day.

“So I’ve heard!” Kitty said, her face lighting up. “I didn’t want to say anything in case you’d already left or something. How’s that going?”

My face flushed as I thought back on the self-love incident in his bed the night before. “It’s whatever. We’re adjusting to each other. He’s kind of all over me, wanting to hang out constantly.”

Kitty laughed as she poured cream in her coffee. “Mikey always and forever wants to hang out. He’s like a lost puppy sometimes, God love him. He’s so sweet, but it can be a lot. I’m sure he’s glad to have your company.”

I raised my eyebrows. “That’s one way to put it. He decided my air mattress was inadequate and ordered me a bed. But it has to off-gas, so I have to bed share with him. It’s been a whole thing.”

Kitty fought a spit take of her coffee. “Did he purposely orchestrate that? Are you okay with that?”

“Well, I didn’t imagine he did it on purpose. I don’t think he premeditated me becoming his roommate.”

Her eyes were wide. “Just know, if you ever need a break, my door is open. Whether Guy’s home or not, you’re welcome to stay at my place. Even if you just need to sit in Mikey-free silence for a while, you can come over.”

“Appreciate it, Kitty.” But really, I was spiraling a bit. Why was I twenty-five and relying on everyone in my limited social circle for housing?

“And maybe all four of us can get dinner when they’re back from the next road trip. We can make the boys come up this way or we can go out around me and Guy in Glendale.”

“That sounds awesome,” I said.

I was taken aback by how nice she was. A writer and actress was just opening her life to me. We were sort of around the same age. I’d only briefly met her fiancé, between the sleeping pill incident and the engagement party, but still, the hockey crowd was surprisingly kind of amazing.

Three weeks before, my life was boring as shit. My job was still exciting, but I only ever hung out with Cole and his friends. Suddenly, I had this expanding world. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but there was no indication that either Mikey or Kitty was going to cut me out of their lives.

* * *

The day finally came where I’d be able to sleep in my own bed. The second night in Mikey’s bed was less tense, mostly because he wasn’t home and didn’t even come in until after I was long asleep. I only had to give him a dirty look for making some ridiculous grumbling noise that woke me up when he got in bed Tuesday night.

Had I known I was going to be alone Tuesday, I would have kept my damn hand out of my pants Monday night. Still, I didn’t dare attempt masturbating again, though I’m pretty sure that’s what Mikey had done after he left me alone that night. You don’t turn the TV that loud just because. Thinking that me touching myself had made him have to touch himself made my whole body flush.

We weren’t childish enough to build a pillow fort between us. We’re grown adults. We could share a sleeping surface without touching, right?

Wrong.

Both mornings, I woke up curled up on his chest, his arm holding me to him. I decided to just enjoy the snuggles. He barely stirred when I got up, probably because I’m a considerate human being and am quiet. He mumbled a “Have a good day” from the bed when I left each morning.

When I got home Wednesday night, I was so looking forward to crashing in my own bed. I spotted a familiar face when I was walking into my building: Cole’s coworker Sheila. I’d always suspected there were feelings between them but never wanted to push. I got a text chime as I walked to the elevator.

Benjamin Michael Jockey

Hey, r u almost home

Walking up now

I’ll meet u outside. Something came up

“Jessie?”

“Oh, hey, Sheila!”

She was dressed very nice, obviously not in work attire. More like date attire. Had she put salad dressing on her legs to make them that shiny?

“I didn’t know you still lived here!” she said with a too-big smile.

“Oh, yeah,” I said, fearing where our conversation was headed.

The elevator dinged and we walked in together. I pushed the button for my floor and she didn’t press any other floor. There were only two units on our floor: Cole’s and Mikey’s.

My stomach sank. Was this what came up for Mikey? Not only was Sheila a temptress for Cole, but she also was seeing Mikey?

“Are you... here to see Mikey?”

“Who?”

“Oh. You’re here to see Cole.”

“Uh, yeah. He told me you two were, ah—”

I gave a tight smile. “Yep. We are.”

My mind took off at a sprint. He wasted absolutely no time in getting with Sheila. I always knew he liked her. I joked with him about it once, but he got suspiciously defensive about it. Though it wasn’t a surprise, it still stung. Had they been involved before we broke up?

“So how long have you two been... ?” I asked, carefully arranging my face to be pleasant.

“Oh, you know. A couple of months now. Nothing too serious, though,” Sheila said, like that wasn’t a big detail.

I could have vomited on my own shoes. He was accusing me of cheating, which I hadn’t, while he was actually cheating on me. Why a couple of months? What made him start? I was too shocked to even cry.

The doors opened on my floor, and there stood Mikey and Cole in their respective doorways. Mikey’s eyes bounced between Sheila and Cole, then to me, assessing the situation. I rounded my eyes at him, a silent plea for help that I hoped he understood. Recognition flashed over his face and he jumped into action.

“Hey, honey,” Ben said. “How was work?”

Ben Miknevicius. Mikey. The guy who would do truly anything for me, doing something for me yet again. I was overwhelmed by the role he instantaneously assumed, pretending to be my boyfriend without question. I cracked a smile at him and gave out a breathy, “Oh, ya know.”

I stepped to him as he reached for me. Our eyes met for a slight beat before we both knew what was going to happen. He bent and his mouth was on mine for what was supposed to be a quick hello kiss. But once we were in the kiss, there was no way either of us was backing out. Because even what was supposed to look like a routine kiss felt like the most monumental kiss of my life. The first kiss was quick, but we hardly pulled away. He hovered at my mouth with a slight smirk before going back in. Ben tugged my bottom lip between his teeth, sending a jolt of lust through me. I had to taste him, and he damn well knew it. Could he read my mind? He dropped his jaw open and slanted his mouth to give me the access I wanted. His chest was firm under my hands. I already knew that his body was rock solid from all the snuggles we’d shared but combining it with the kiss had a synergistic effect.

And the kiss itself. My God, I hadn’t been kissed like that in far too long. There was both restraint and wildness as his tongue roved over mine, my stomach a tickled-up mess. I played with the ends of his long-ish hair that reached just above the nape of his neck, the stubble around his mouth grazing my skin. Realizing we’d been at it probably a hair too long, I pulled out. Ben stroked his hands over my hair and held us nose-to-nose, giving me another soft kiss.

“Missed you,” he whispered.

“You, too,” I said, feeling Cole and Sheila’s eyes boring into us. My senses returned. I smelled the curry that Cole usually made special for me. I turned to look at my old apartment’s doorway, finding Cole pushing Sheila inside and glaring at me.

“Fucking whore,” Cole murmured before he slammed the door.

Mikey’s eyes rounded, lunging like he was going to go after Cole. I instinctively held him back, which snapped his attention back to me.

“You okay?” Mikey asked. He wrapped me in a tight hug as Cole’s harsh words broke over me. “He’s a liar, you know.”

That’s when the tears came to me. Ben released me and wiped his thumbs under my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jess. You know that’s not true.”

“He’s been cheating,” I croaked.

Ben pulled me to him again, squeezing me hard. He murmured in my ear, “Hon, I know this is a bad time, but we have guests.”

“Hi there!” came a cheerful voice. I leaned around Mikey to see the source, a short red-headed woman with Mikey’s dimples and a taller blonde woman who looked like she spent a lot of time in the sun.

“Jessalyn, meet my mother, Debbie, and my Aunt Lori.”

The red-headed woman stepped forward with a look of sheer delight. “I’ve heard so much about you! Ben didn’t mention that you two were an item!”

Ben put his arm around my waist and brought me inside. I looked at him for help.

“It’s all very new,” he said pleasantly. New was an understatement. A scheme hatched up when I stepped off the elevator was more like it. “Mom and Lori are going to stay with us for a couple of days. We were just about to head out for dinner.”

“Oh, well, I can let y’all go catch up,” I said as graciously as possible. I really wanted to go sob in my bed, but it seemed my bed would still not be mine.

“Nonsense, sweetie. Come eat with us! You’re part of the family,” his aunt Lori said. Never have I ever loathed Midwestern hospitality so much as I did right in that moment.

Ben kissed my temple and squeezed my side, where his hand still hadn’t left. “Yeah, hon. Come with us. Unload from that bad day at work.”

He was covering the Cole situation for me by blaming my upset on work. Not bad, Mikey.

I forced a megawatt smile that I hoped looked authentic. “I guess if you insist! I’m just going to go freshen up and then I’ll be ready. That okay, baby?”

“Of course, darlin’,” he said, stifling a laugh. As I left the kitchen, I glared at him over his mom and Lori’s shoulders.

“DARLIN’?” I mouthed. He just shot me a dimply smile and a wink. I stepped into my room to find two suitcases already in there. Christ. I fired off a text to Kitty.

SOS. Mikey’s mom and aunt are here and they’re staying in my room. They think we’re a couple. There are other complications. I might need to take you up on your offer

I took off my blouse and bra, waving fresh air under my boobs and analyzing the situation. Ben had kissed me. I’d kissed Ben? Why was it such an amazing kiss? But it wasn’t real. Right?

Cole was seeing Sheila. That was real. He had been seeing Sheila. I’d been cheated on. I was shaking. Another wave of nausea passed over me. How had I not known? How could he do that to me? No wonder he was so eager to find a reason for us to split up.

And now I had to keep up the ruse that Ben and I were dating because his mom and aunt saw us kissing? I had to go to dinner with them. Sleep in his bed *again*. Unless Kitty, who I also didn’t know that well, could offer me an out.

I applied a fresh layer of deodorant as sweat broke out in every fold of my body. My phone pinged.

Kitty Gatto

OMGGGGGG you poor thing!

Yes of course. Come on over. Let me know when you’re on your way

THANK YOU so much!! I’ll keep you posted. I’m headed out to dinner with them now. This is insane.

There was a knock at the door. “Can I come in?”

“Hang on,” I said, scrambling to hold a shirt to my front. So much for airing out my boobs.

The door creaked open and Ben stepped inside. “Shit, sorry,” he said as he realized I was topless.

“I said ‘hang on!’” I hissed.

“Sorry, I thought you said ‘come on!’”

“Well, your mom and your aunt think you’ve seen it all before anyway, huh?”

Ben sat on the bed and put his hands over his eyes, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I know, Jessie.” He sounded some mixture of guilty and defeated.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I whisper screamed as I looked through my drawers for a clean shirt.

“I’m really sorry, Jessie. I forgot they were coming to visit. I’m really bad with scheduling stuff. I’m lucky the team tells me where to be all the time.”

I gave some sort of harrumph. “Also where are we even going? I don’t know what to wear.”

“I thought I’d help you with the Cole situation, but then Mom and Lor saw and well, you are kind of an ideal girlfriend, so I just went with it. And we’re going to my favorite taco place. Casual.”

“You just went with it?!”

“Sorry, Sweet Cheeks, how else was I supposed to explain why I was passionately kissing my roommate? And you’re welcome, by the way. I think we pissed Cole off plenty.”

Tears flooded my eyes as I jammed on a band t-shirt to go with my ripped jeans. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. Now he’s really going to think I was cheating.”

“Who gives a fuck what he thinks? He actually cheated on you! He deserves to feel like shit because he is a piece of shit.”

“You knew?” I snapped, loud enough to make Mikey flinch and uncover his eyes to look at me. His mouth opened and closed, and he stammered, trying to find his words. “You fucking knew. This whole time. Is that what all of this has been about?”

“Jessie, honey, Sweet Cheeks,” he started. I glared at him. “I didn’t want you to feel worse than you already did. Either way it was over between you. Trust me, I hate that guy as much as you do. I just didn’t want you to have any more reason to doubt yourself.”

“So noble of you!” I hissed.

“Why are you mad at me? He was the one cheating on you!” Ben massaged his temples. “I wanted to help you live a happier life, Jessalyn. He hasn’t been taking care of you.”

“Because you seem to know so well how I sound when I orgasm? Christ, Benjamin.”

“Well, you certainly sounded different in my bed the other night!” he blurted out, then clapped a hand over his mouth.

Disdain ripped through me. How fucking dare he. I was beyond done with this man and his allegedly altruistic meddling.

“I don’t have to stay here for this,” I said finitely, opening my drawers and grabbing a duffel bag.

“Jessie, please, no.”

“Oh, you need me to stay so your mom can think you have a girlfriend?”

“You wanted to pay me for living here. This is one way you can do that.”

My jaw dropped as I shoved socks into my bag. “I am not for hire, Benjamin. My body is not for hire.”

“Jessie, you know that’s not what I meant. All of this is so out of hand. You know I just say shit sometimes. I don’t mean to.”

“Actually,” I said, gesticulating to him with a bra before slamming it into my bag, “I don’t know that. Because I hardly fucking know you, Ben. We’ve known each other for two weeks. But you think, you think, you think... you know everything about me.”

I was afraid I was going too far, but he went too far with me. My life was crumbling, not his.

“This is my life, Ben. It’s not some game. I just got dumped after years with someone. He’s been cheating on me. We’ve lived together in three different cities. And all you can focus on is that I make you look good in front of your mom and that you know how I sound when I come.”

“Honey, I never should have said that.”

I dabbed at the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand and was filled with a new wave of rage. “But you thought it. Why not say it? Have anything else you want to tell me about my sex life, Ben?” I stalked toward where he sat on the bed, chucking the bag down. “You know my favorite position? You know just how I like it?”

Ben stood suddenly, our chests brushing again. His height and size humbled me in my tirade. He breathed heavily, looking down at me. Tension pulsed, and a shot of desire passed over me. The memory of our kiss thundered through my body, his lips a permanent impression on mine. Without him even touching me, I could feel him on me.

His eyes cut to my mouth, then back to my eyes. He had to be thinking the same. His demeanor softened. He lifted his hands, then started and stopped a few motions, like he couldn’t decide how to touch me. The tips of his fingers skated down my forearms, to my wrists. I trembled, the raw emotions of the last twenty minutes erupting. His fingers laced in mine, holding both of my hands.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Jessalyn. I’m really only trying to help. I think maybe I’m doing it wrong. But I care about you. I’m so sorry about all this. This has to be so hard.”

His eyes were so sincere, his hold on my hands steady and gentle. He was right. I was misdirecting my anger. He was actually being pretty patient with me, to his credit. I blinked back more tears.

“I hate him so much right now,” I said on a gulp of air.

“I know, honey,” he said, pulling me into a tender embrace. His hand passed over my hair, idly gathering it into a tiny ponytail at the nape of my neck and twirling it around. The fact that he was calling me little pet names behind closed doors struck me.

“I don’t have time to cry. Your mom and aunt are still outside.”

“They’ll be fine. I’ll tell them you had a rough day. And hey, I wanted to help you when I kissed you. I wasn’t trying to be weird.”

I nodded against his chest. “I know. That was really nice, Ben. Thanks for doing that.” My arms circled his waist and I leaned back to look at him. “I want to pay it back. I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to. That’s a ridiculous thing to ask.”

“No. It’s not a big deal. You helped me with Cole. I’ll help you. We’ll make it fun.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Jessie. I shouldn’t make it seem like you do.”

“I know,” I said. “I want to.”

He twisted his lips to chew on them. “So you’ll come eat with us? I’ll buy you as many margaritas as you want,” he offered, thumbing over the moisture on my cheeks.

“Can we get queso, too?”

Ben cracked a smile. “Queso, guac, that chorizo and cheese stuff, anything you want, baby.”

“Okay.”

With a kiss on my cheek, he stitched our hands together and walked us out of the bedroom.