Page 11

Chapter 11

Jessie

My hand shook as I raised my knuckles to knock on the door. It was all getting real.

It didn’t take long for it to swing open.

His voice was soft. “Hey.”

“Hi,” I whispered. A sob shuddered through me.

Then he took my hand, pulled me inside, and closed the door. Without thinking, I thrust myself into his arms, wrapping myself tight around his neck. He responded by pulling me in at my waist, letting us be together again. My tears were hot, melting into his shirt. This wasn’t how I wanted the evening to go, but it felt like it would be okay anyway.

“Hi, roomie,” Ben said with a quiet chuckle. “Welcome home.”

* * *

We sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between us, watching a nature documentary. Ben was trying to take my mind off things.

“Which would you rather have as a pet: a baby ocelot or a baby bobcat?” he asked.

“I mean, bobcats are native to North America, but ocelots have those cute spots. I think I’d have to go ocelot, but I’d feel bad about it.”

Ben sat looking pensive. “What if I get the bobcat and you get the ocelot and they can play together since we’re roomies?”

I gave a soft laugh. “Do you get a pet with someone for one night? And was that not your mutant chihuahua here?”

“Huh? No. Greg is Obi’s dog. He just doesn’t like to leave him home alone.”

“Okay, so say we get these feral cats. What happens when you’re on the road and I’ve got to work long hours?”

“I’ll hire someone to walk Aussie and Robert.”

I cackled. “Okay, let me break that down. Aussie for ocelot, Robert for bobcat?”

“You’re quick, Jessalyn.”

“You’re quicker. You came up with it.”

He shrugged. “I’m being generous. You’re going through a thing.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I am.”

He studied me, then threw a piece of popcorn at me. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. Do you want me to?” I asked.

“I don’t know how to talk about stuff like that. But I feel like it’s my fault, Jess. I’m really sorry.”

I scrunched up my nose. “How would it be your fault?”

“I never heard you fight until I came into the picture.”

A lump formed in my throat, a thick swallow clearing it as tears rose in me again. Ben reached across the couch and put his hand on my forearm.

“I’m so sorry, Jess. If there’s anything I can do to help you fix it...”

I shook my head. “It’s not that. I think we never fought before because we were just on autopilot.”

Something flared in Ben’s eyes, his jaw flexing. He looked away, running his tongue over his teeth. “I got nothing. No advice on the topic. But I can listen. I’m here for you.”

I stared at the TV for a while, not really seeing what we were watching. “I think I’m tired of thinking,” I said with a yawn.

“You ready for bed, Jessie Girl? I tried to get a bed delivered tonight, but apparently no one delivers beds at 2 a.m.”

My stomach did a somersault. “What? When?”

“While you were still upstairs and I came back down here.”

I groaned. “Ben, don’t order a spare bed for me. I have an air mattress next door, but...”

Ben looked at me sympathetically. “You don’t have to go get that right now. Stay in my bed tonight? I won’t be all over you.”

“Absolutely not,” I said. “I’ll sleep on the couch. And I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

Ben cocked his head at me. “Do you have anywhere else to go?”

“That’s what tomorrow’s for. It’s Sunday. I’ll have all day to try to find a place.”

“Jessalyn.”

“Benjamin.”

“Just stay, Jessie. For a week. A month. Two years. As long as you need.”

“Wouldn’t I be getting in the way of you getting ass?” I asked skeptically.

He got a funny look on his face, unreadable. “Let me worry about that on my own time.”

“Is this just a guilt thing? Because you think you ruined my relationship?”

Ben sat up and put the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. He faced me. “Jessalyn, here’s what’s going to happen. Tonight, you’re going to sleep in my bed, because it’s more comfortable and you need a good night’s sleep. In the morning, we’re going to go next door and get your stuff. We’re going to move you into my spare bedroom, and you’re going to be my roommate.”

I studied him. His eyes seemed earnest, the amber color glowing in the light of the TV. He was taking charge with me. I was so exhausted.

“What are you getting out of this?” My voice was dry and crackly.

“Being your best friend,” he said with a smirk.

I leveled him with a look.

“I’m serious. I kinda hate living alone. It’d be nice to have someone to come home to.”

“So, like a girlfriend for you?”

Ben shivered. “That word terrifies me, Jessie. I think we might have fun if we just tried being there for each other.”

“As friends,” I clarified. The last thing I needed was to leave one questionable relationship and jump right into another one.

Wait, was I having thoughts about getting into a new relationship with Mikey?

I wasn’t even entirely sure things were over with Cole. He just told me not to come back, and he’d never said anything to me like that before. Ever. Maybe he’d ask me to come back tomorrow.

“As friends,” Ben agreed.