Page 66 of Perfect Happiness

Just as she put her hands on the ground and started to lift her body out of the water, something grabbed the back of her neck.

Immediately, she fell backward into the water, completely defenseless.

When she finally realized what was happening, she was already submerged in icy liquid.

She struggled to lift her head, but something was preventing her from doing that.

Yuna was sitting on top of her. Her hands were keeping Jane’s head under water, and her knees were restraining Jane’s shoulders.

This would have been enough to suffocate Jane above land, but underwater, it was ten times worse.

Jane’s mind fell into darkness. Her brain, paralyzed instantly.

Only her instincts remained active, desperately flailing her arms. Jane’s hand found Yuna’s ankle just as she was about to run out of breath.

A voice inside her head spoke to her. Remember the day you bench-pressed your own weight.

Your coach said you were the strongest girl in the gym, remember? You did it once, you can do it again.

Jane stuck her heels into the mud, arched her back, and then lifted Yuna’s ankles into the air. Yuna fell head-first over Jane’s body. Her hands and knees, which had been keeping Jane’s head and shoulders under water, went with her.

Jane sat up and brought her head out of the water. She coughed and spat out the water that she had swallowed. Just as she caught her breath, the same thing happened again. Yuna, who had come back to life sooner than Jane expected, grabbed Jane’s hair and pulled her back into the water.

This time, however, Yuna tried to drown Jane by pulling her hair with one arm and strangling her neck with the other.

Jane couldn’t believe how strong Yuna was. No matter how hard she struggled, Jane couldn’t free herself from Yuna’s grip. Her lungs were about to explode. And then suddenly, Jane thought she could hear her father’s song in the distance.

Maria, Maria, you are my love, Maria . . .

After I sent you far away, I planted a flower . . .

Jane shuddered. She finally knew who was singing this song, and it wasn’t her father.

It was a song that Jane was singing to herself.

It was a spell that she had cast on herself, from when she was young, until she was a grown woman.

It was a warning to herself to not do anything if she wanted peace, to stand back and watch and do nothing.

This was why Jane was always being attacked by Yuna.

She wanted Yuna to attack her. That was the only way to remain as her father’s little princess, to do nothing and take it.

The moment she stood up to Yuna, the moment she fought back, she would lose her father’s trust. Her only worth as a person was as father’s little princess.

Jane was no different from Yuna. Deep down, she was still that seven-year-old girl. Even now, moments away from dying, the specter of that child and her song was preventing her from truly fighting back.

Jane stopped struggling. She relaxed her body as though she had lost consciousness.

She let her arms, which had been flailing, drop into the water.

The only thing she moved were her fingers as she sifted through the mud for a weapon.

Eventually her fingers found a sharp rock.

She started counting. One, two, three . . .

Yuna’s grip on the back of her head loosened, as did the arm around her neck. Jane waited. Waited until Yuna lifted Jane’s head out of the water to check if she was alive. Jane’s target was just beneath the headlamp on Yuna’s head.

It happened faster than she was expecting. The light from the headlamp fell onto Jane’s face. Jane opened her eyes suddenly. She lifted her arm and stabbed her target with the rock in her hand. Yuna let out a yelp as she grabbed her eye and staggered backward.

Jane stood up. She located Yuna immediately by the bright headlamp. Yuna was just four or five feet away from Jane as she held her bloody eye and cursed at Jane.

“You little cunt! You stealing bitch!”

Jane took one step toward Yuna. The song started to play again inside Jane’s head.

Maria, Maria . . .

I planted a flower in my weeping heart . . .

Jane squeezed the rock in her hand. I’m done, Dad. She took another step toward Yuna. I’m not your little princess anymore . I’m . . .

Jane paused. She could hear the sirens getting closer. While fighting with Yuna, she had almost forgotten about them.

Jane turned her head to where she thought the cabin was. Red and blue lights were speeding toward them from the dark horizon. There must have been half a dozen cars. How did they know? Had Eun-ho managed to call the police before losing consciousness?

Jane turned to where she had left Eun-ho. He had managed to pull himself onto land and was now lying face down in the snow. It seemed like he had regained some of his motor skills.

Jane’s gaze returned to Yuna. But she was gone.

Wondering if she had simply misplaced Yuna, Jane glanced around.

A dim light was moving toward the opposite shore.

At first, Jane didn’t understand why she was running in that direction.

If she wanted to flee, she should run the other way, toward the mountain and the village.

The only thing on the opposite side of the marsh was a gorge.

The gorge! It was then that it occurred to Jane. Yuna knew exactly where she was going.

Not like this. It was too easy. Jane started to cross the marsh in pursuit of Yuna.

But her goal wasn’t really Yuna. What she wanted was to kill the little princess inside of herself, the one that had been a prisoner to her father’s love.

Jane wanted to kill her once and for all, so that she would never come back.

The sirens continued to get louder. They sounded like they were ringing inside Jane’s ears. The marsh was becoming brighter. But Jane didn’t have any spare attention to think about what this meant. Her eyes were only focused on the light from the headlamp, and her ears filled with the song.

I watch the flowers thinking of your face.

I watch the flowers hoping for your embrace.

Maria, oh, Maria.

Just as the police cars arrived at the marsh, Yuna reached the shore. Seeing Yuna successfully lift herself onto land, Jane lunged and grabbed onto Yuna’s ankles, causing Yuna to slip and fall back down the embankment.

“Let go of me!” Yuna shouted as she thrashed her legs.

“Shut up! Just shut up and die!” But Jane was really shouting at the song in her head.

As Yuna thrashed about, her heel smacked Jane in the left eye, her bad eye.

Pain like lightning passed through Jane’s head.

It felt like her eyeball had been flattened like a hotteok pancake.

Jane screamed out in pain. But she wasn’t going to let go of Yuna’s ankle.

The red and blue lights were now filling the marsh.

“I said let go of me!”

Yuna continued to thrash, kicking her back legs out from behind her like a donkey.

“Freeze!” a voice called out from over a megaphone.

Without letting go of Yuna’s ankle, Jane looked to her left and right. Patrol cars had surrounded the marsh.

“Both of you, freeze!” A man was shouting as he approached from their right. “I said don’t move!”

Yuna’s kicking suddenly stopped. She lifted her head and looked over her shoulder at Jane.

“Let go of me,” she said in a low growl through her clenched teeth. “Stealing bitch.”

Hidden behind a beam of yellow light, Yuna’s face looked like a dark cave. Yuna really believed that Jane had stolen her life from her. This belief was eternal, binding, religious. And it was the power of this belief that had kept her going.

Jane’s grip slowly started to relax. Yuna’s ankle slipped out of her fingers. Jane stood up in the water and stared in silence at Yuna as she ran. Standing at the edge of the cliff, she looked like a child dressed in a black raincoat. The policeman’s arms were close enough to reach her.

“Stop,” he said. “It’s okay. Just stop.”

The policeman extended his hand. But just before he could grab her, Yuna flung herself off the side of the cliff. And just like that, the song in Jane’s head stopped.