Page 29 of Perfect Happiness

Eun-ho closed the school homepage. He didn’t open the email he got from the department of education.

He didn’t even open his search engine, afraid that he might see himself on the news.

But there was one thing that he couldn’t avoid checking.

Eun-ho went into his personal email inbox.

There was a reply from Yoon-hee. It had arrived faster than he expected.

The subject was simply his name with a period.

Eun-ho Cha.

Eun-ho opened the email.

I never knew I would hear from you again, especially not under circumstances like this.

If you’re hoping for forgiveness, don’t.

And if you think you can run from this, don’t.

We can never run from the truth. I can’t run from the fact that I abandoned my son, and you can’t run from the fact that you killed him.

PS: Think about it carefully. Be honest with yourself for once and ask yourself, Could you really have done that in your sleep?

We were together for seven years. The Eun-ho I knew would have woken up.

You’re the Princess and the Pea. Perhaps you were drunk or took a handful of sleeping pills before bed.

Eun-ho didn’t drink that night, nor had he taken any sleeping pills. He’d already told the police this several times. Eun-ho knew this was unfavorable for him to admit, but it was the truth. The only thing he had that night was quince tea. The one Wife made him…

Without warning, the primary-colored teacups flashed across his eyes. Red for him, blue for Mother, and yellow for Wife. No. Yellow for Mother, blue for Wife . . .

Eun-ho shook his head and tried to rid himself of these images.

He also threw dirt onto the thoughts, which were flickering like dying embers.

He knew he could remember whose cup was whose if he focused, but he didn’t want to.

Asking questions about that would only lead him to preposterous conclusions.

He had no choice but to forget about it.

Eun-ho brought another matter into his mind. The question of which wife was correct: his current wife, or his ex-wife? Just regarding his sleeping habits, the two women had vastly different opinions. He needed the opinion of a credible third party.

What about Mom? Jinu? No, neither would do. Opinions based on memory were meaningless right now. The person needed to be someone who would give him an objective record of what he did while asleep.

Eun-ho searched up the words “psychiatric clinic” and “sleep disorders.” He got several articles about sleep disorders and depression. When he moved on to the second page of results, he started to see links to clinics that specialized in sleep disorders. He clicked on one of these.

It was an article explaining polysomnography: a test that analyzes brain waves, electrocardiograms, breathing patterns, and muscle movements of patients while they sleep to diagnose sleep disorders.

The National Health Insurance covered conditions such as sleep apnea, narcolepsy, or hypersomnia.

It seemed like Eun-ho couldn’t count on insurance to help with the cost for the exam, but that didn’t matter.

The bigger problem was that the clinic was across town.

Eun-ho narrowed his search results to clinics in Cheongyeon. There was a clinic close to his house. According to their website, they had next-day results. Eun-ho organized his thoughts for a moment. Why did he have to take this exam? What was he trying to prove? And what would come of this?

Eun-ho couldn’t accept that he had killed Noah.

Even though there was undeniable physical evidence, he couldn’t accept it.

If what Yoon-hee said was right, things would get worse for Eun-ho by taking this sleep study.

If the study results agreed with Yoon-hee, and if he gave the police his study results, he might be charged with murder. Should he still do it?

Yes. He could think later about what the police might do with the information. He needed any kind of evidence that said he didn’t kill Noah. That was the only way he could go on living. Whether it was manslaughter or not, he couldn’t live knowing he had killed his own son.

Eun-ho called the clinic and made an appointment. He was able to get a same-day appointment. He could get everything done at the same clinic. He would have a consultation at 5:40 and start the test at 8:30. He would be able to check his results the next day.

Eun-ho turned off his laptop and went up to Noah’s room. He didn’t have a reason for going there, but his legs had a mind of their own.

There was a box lying on Noah’s desk. It was one of the large blue boxes they had used during the move. He had brought it here from storage last night. Inside were all of Noah’s belongings: his clothes, school bag, soccer ball, and Pengsoo.

Wife, who had packed the box, couldn’t understand why Eun-ho was upset about it.

She said she did it for him, that she was afraid seeing Pengsoo would remind him of that day.

She was afraid that the soccer ball would fill him with guilt.

She was planning on burning the clothes and school bag after the three-day mourning period passed.

“I just did it because you were incapable of doing it yourself.”

The look on her face was asking what the big deal was.

“You always do this. Why do you always decide what it is that I want?”

“When have I ever?”

Wife’s face was bright red now. Her half-moon eyes were filled with bul-bous tears.

“How much longer are you going to be like this, Eun-ho? I am tired of your constant irritability.”

There were faint vibrations of a whimper in Wife’s voice.

“If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have made an issue about Jiyoo getting hit by that soccer ball. I should have just bitten my tongue. If only I hadn’t said anything…”

Finally, the tears welling up in Wife’s eyes started to flow down her cheeks. Her voice also started to tremble in earnest.

“I’m human, too. I get angry, too, sometimes . . .”

Wife had the extraordinary ability to evoke pity from someone who was angry at her.

“I didn’t know you would discipline him so harshly. All I wanted you to do was have a word with him. It’s all my fault that he had an asthma attack.”

Wife also had a talent for stabbing people in just the right place.

“I think that’s what started it all. He probably had another episode that night, while you were fast asleep.”

The sound of the doorbell pulled Eun-ho out of his daydream. Eun-ho went downstairs. Through the intercom video, he could see two unfamiliar men standing outside.

“Who is it?”

“Police.”

Eun-ho felt all his strength leave his body. They’ve finally come for me. The autopsy results had finally come back. There was only one reason they would come to his door instead of giving him a call. They had come to put handcuffs on him. Eun-ho stepped outside.

“Is this the residence of Yuna Shin?” one of the police officers in a blue windbreaker asked as he held up his badge.

Eun-ho blinked in confusion. “It is.”

“Is she home?”

“No. May I ask what this is about?”

The two men glanced at each other before turning back to Eun-ho.

“Do you know where she went?”

“She should be at work.”

“Aha.” The police officer in the blue windbreaker nodded. “We came here because we heard she had gone home early from work.”

Eun-ho didn’t know what to make of this. These police officers seemed only interested in Yuna.

“She hasn’t come back yet. May I ask what this is abo—”

“It’s nothing. We just had a few questions for her.” Blue Windbreaker handed Eun-ho his business card. “When you see her, tell her to give us a call.”

Eun-ho looked down at the card. This man was a detective from the Seodaemun Police Department. This wasn’t right. Seodaemun was about as related to Wife as Antarctica was related to crocodiles.

“If you tell me what this was about, I’ll be able to relay it to my wife,” Eun-ho said.

The detective thought for a moment before accepting this proposition.

“Yuna Shin’s ex-husband Joon-young Seo is missing. He was last seen twelve days ago on Tuesday. We’re looking for any leads, and we thought your wife might be able to help us.”

This date lingered in Eun-ho’s ears. The Tuesday before last was the day Yuna left the house.

Eun-ho also managed to dig up the distant memory that he had been suspicious that Yuna had been with her ex-husband.

It seemed like ages ago that he last thought about her strange absence.

In fact, he had never had the chance to ask Yuna about where she had been from Tuesday to Saturday.

“Does anything come to mind?”

Blue Windbreaker studied Eun-ho’s face. The stare was so intense that it felt like he had pulled out his gun and pointed it at Eun-ho’s forehead.

“No. I’m a bit confused because this is concerning her ex-husband.” Eun-ho put the business card in his pocket. “I’ll deliver your message to my wife.”

Eun-ho turned to look at their car, which was parked across the street, and signaled that it was time for them to go.

Blue Windbreaker craned his neck to peer into the house through the glass window before going back to their car.

Standing at the front door, Eun-ho observed the two men retreat.

Only when they disappeared from view did Eun-ho go back into the house.

He took out the business card and looked at it with a grave expression on his face. He had to decide before Wife came home. He either had to just forget about it and simply hand her the business card, or he had to ask her about where she was for those five days.

Eun-ho decided on the former. His head was already saturated with his own problems. He would need undivided attention and immense luck just to make headway on the mystery of Noah’s death. His problems with Wife could be dealt with later, if ever.