Page 47 of Perfect Happiness

“My tummy hurt.” Jiyoo lied without thinking.

“Does it still hurt?”

Jiyoo was feeling more and more uneasy. Mother didn’t seem like she was asking out of concern. Even though her tone was gentle, it sounded insincere.

“A little.”

Mother nodded. And that was it. Jiyoo worked up the courage to ask another question.

“Can I stop eating?”

“Fine.”

Mother stuck another fry into her mouth.

“Did your father come home earlier today?”

For a moment Jiyoo didn’t know what Mother meant.

Was she asking about her real father or stepfather?

Once she remembered that this home was stepfather’s home, her chest suddenly became tight.

If she answered honestly, she would have to mention Auntie Jane.

And if she lied, that might get her into trouble in the future.

If Stepfather told Mother the truth, that would ruin everything.

Don’t worry. Your stepfather will keep our secret.

This is what Auntie Jane said when she called Jiyoo after Stepfather drove off.

But Jiyoo wasn’t sure if she could believe this.

She didn’t know Stepfather very well—aside from the fact he didn’t smile or talk much.

Jiyoo decided to trust Auntie Jane. If she said he would keep their secret, then he would keep their secret.

“I don’t know. I was napping all day because my stomach hurt.”

“He didn’t even call?”

Jiyoo thought for a while before finding the best answer.

“I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

Mother didn’t say anything. She didn’t even nod. All she did was chop a French fry into segments on the table with her long nails. Jiyoo hesitated for a moment before asking:

“Can I go to bed now?”

“Okay, go to bed.”

Mother’s eyes were fixed on Jiyoo’s unfinished cheeseburger, as if she was telling Jiyoo to sleep inside the cheeseburger.

Mother did this often. Looking at one thing, while talking about another thing.

This was a sign that she was irritated by what Jiyoo was doing.

Even after being told to go to bed, Jiyoo found it hard to get up from her seat.

“What are you waiting for?” Mother asked as she lifted her gaze from the cheeseburger.

Only then did Jiyoo get out of her seat.

As she walked out into the living room, she could sense Mother’s gaze.

She slowly went up the stairs, pretending like her stomach still hurt.

She wanted to get to the top of the stairs in one giant leap, but she tried her best to resist this urge.

Jiyoo wondered how nice it would be to have the power of transformation.

Then she could turn into a small caterpillar and crawl up the stairs.

That way she wouldn’t attract Mother’s attention.

But even when she got upstairs, she still wasn’t at ease.

She felt like Noah was standing in front of his bedroom door glaring at her.

She could almost hear him say, “Give me back my soccer ball!” Jiyoo put her hands over her ears, dropped her head, and hurried past Noah’s bedroom door toward the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

She did the same thing when she came out of the bathroom.

It was just a few steps from the bathroom to her room, but the whole time, two different urges were fighting each other.

One was the urge to turn around and see if Noah was really there.

And the other was the urge to run into her room.

Jiyoo did neither. She kept her eyes forward as she walked to her room.

She wanted to lock the door, but she didn’t do this.

Mother hated it when she did that. She became furious when she came to say goodnight to Jiyoo and found the door locked.

She said it was no different than telling her to “Go away.”

Jiyoo turned off the light and crawled into bed.

She turned on the nightlight sitting on the bedside table and lay flat on her back.

Her eyes naturally drifted to the top of the wardrobe.

That was where she hid Dad Puppet. Now, all she had to do was wait for her Stepfather to come home.

When that happened Mother would go into the master bedroom, which would mean it was safe for Jiyoo to take Dad Puppet from his hiding spot and place him under her pillow.

Jiyoo started counting. One, two, three .

. . Nine hundred ninety-nine . Still her stepfather hadn’t come back home.

She counted to one thousand again. She counted to one thousand five times, but still her stepfather hadn’t come home.

The house was quiet. There were no sounds of Mother moving.

Jiyoo figured Mother must have gone to sleep.

Did that mean it was safe? Mischievous Mouse said it did.

Jiyoo got down from the bed. She got up on her desk and took Dad Puppet down from the wardrobe.

Then she got back into bed and placed the puppet under her pillow.

Relief washed over her. Now she felt like she could finally relax and fall asleep.

Jiyoo regretted not taking Dad Puppet with her when Mother came to take her from Grandma’s house.

Had she taken him with her, she wouldn’t have needed to call Auntie Jane.

Jiyoo had been eating dinner when Mother came to pick her up from Grandma’s.

She didn’t like most of what the nanny cooked—things like egg bibimbap and marinated chicken.

But that day, Nanny had cooked her beef bulgogi and mushrooms. The bulgogi was good, but she was only able to eat a couple bites before Mother suddenly appeared and started turning the house inside out.

The nanny tried to stop Mother, but Mother ignored her.

After hiding Dad Puppet, Jiyoo stood nervously next to her bed.

Mother told Jiyoo that she wouldn’t be coming back to Grandma’s.

She also told Jiyoo to leave behind most of her things: clothes, books, and an art set that Auntie Jane bought for her, even her school bag.

Jiyoo lost her chance to take Dad Puppet with her.

Because of this, Jiyoo suffered from nightmares ever since coming back to stepfather’s house.

It didn’t matter when she slept; night or day, she always had nightmares when she closed her eyes.

Now that Auntie had brought Dad Puppet for her, Jiyoo thought she would be able to sleep better now.

Father will look after me. He will protect me from the loons, the endless staircase, the voice calling me to the marsh.

But now with Dad Puppet under her pillow, Jiyoo realized something.

Even though she wouldn’t be having nightmares, the fear of Mother finding Dad Puppet would keep her up at night.

But still, that fear was better than the nightmares.

She could hide the puppet, but she couldn’t hide from the nightmares.

And it wasn’t like Jiyoo could keep her eyes open forever.

She would have to fall asleep eventually.

Jiyoo turned on her side and stuck her hand under the pillow.

She felt her body relax as soon as her hand met Dad Puppet.

Even the knot in her stomach was beginning to unravel.

She was just about to fall asleep when a bright light caused her to open her eyes.

A harsh white light was shining in her eyes.

Jiyoo brought her hand up to her face to block the light.

“Jiyoo Cha.”

It was Mother’s voice. Jiyoo put down her hand, but she still couldn’t see Mother clearly.

A blurry white object was approaching the bed.

Jiyoo saw double of the objects in the room.

But by the time her eyes adjusted, it was already too late.

Mother had pulled back the sheets and taken Dad Puppet from Jiyoo’s hand.

“Get up,” Mother said in a soft whisper. This was the scariest whisper in the world. Jiyoo sat straight up.

“What is this?”

Mother waved Dad Puppet in the air. Sitting in bed, Jiyoo was frozen in place. Her vision was going blurry again. If felt like the room was starting to spin. Dad Puppet was coming in and out of focus.

“Are you not going to answer me?”

Mother’s voice got even quieter.

“I’m sorry.”

This was what instinctively came out of Jiyoo’s mouth.

Mother shook her head.

“I don’t want an apology. I want an explanation.”

Jiyoo dropped her head and stared at her knees. What should she say? She didn’t have an answer.

“Jiyoo Cha,” Mother said again. Her tranquil voice was warning Jiyoo that tonight wasn’t going to be peaceful, whether she told Mother the truth or not.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For taking Dad Puppet, without your permission.”

“Is that all?”

Jiyoo could feel saliva as sour as vinegar working its way up her throat. Her lower stomach was tightening, and she was overwhelmed with the urge to go to the bathroom.

“And keeping him without telling you.”

“And?”

“And—”

Jiyoo swallowed the saliva welling up inside her mouth. Her mind was dark with hesitation and fear. And . . . and . . .

“Did your stomach really hurt today?”

Jiyoo realized Mother knew everything. And she realized that she had missed her last chance to tell the truth. Mother held up a phone receiver, which she had been hiding behind her back, and brought it up to Jiyoo’s eyes.

“My little Jiyoo’s so smart. I’m sure you know what this is.”

Jiyoo held in her breath. Auntie Jane’s name was shown twice in the call history.

“You left the puppet hidden at Grandma’s house. Then you call Auntie Jane this morning to ask her to bring it to you. But Auntie Jane didn’t just bring you the puppet. It was lunch time, after all. That’s why you didn’t eat Mother’s Happy Meal. Even though she bought you your favorite meal.”

Jiyoo shook her head.

“No, Mother. My tummy really did hurt.”

Mother took something out of her cardigan pocket. It was the Happy Meal bag that Jiyoo had folded neatly and put in the trash.

“You still want to lie to me?”

Jiyoo could feel the organs inside her torso suddenly contract. Her breath was short and halting.