Page 135 of Perfect Happiness
Every time the loon cried, Jiyoo’s legs twitched.And every time it scratched at the wall, her tummy felt funny, just like when she felt nervous.Jiyoo thought about what happened when she came upstairs with Mother a few hours ago.Mother had stopped in front of Jiyoo’s door and given her a command.
“Jiyoo, go to the bathroom.”
Jiyoo looked toward the bathroom, then back at Mother.She didn’t understand what she meant.
“Brush your teeth, wash your face and feet, and go potty.”
“Yes,” Jiyoo said, even though she still didn’t understand.Jiyoo could wash up after Mother went back downstairs.Why did Mother have to wait for her?
“You won’t be able to use the bathroom again until tomorrow.”
This explanation confused Jiyoo even more, but she did as she was told and went into the bathroom.Mother stood at the door to Jiyoo’s bedroom until she came back out.She looked lost in thought.Even as Jiyoo walked up to her, Mother seemed unaware.Only when Jiyoo called out to her did she finally regain her emotionless composure.
“Mother—”
“Done?”
“Yes.”
Mother opened the bedroom door.Jiyoo went in first.
“Why do you think I followed you up here?”Mother asked Jiyoo as she closed the door behind her.
“Because I haven’t—”
Jiyoo stopped mid-sentence and looked down at her feet.She knew the answer, but she was afraid to say it.
“What?”Mother wanted a complete answer.
“Because I haven’t been punished.”
“Then you know what must happen now, don’t you?”
Jiyoo closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again.She suppressed the urge to ask for forgiveness and said the words Mother wanted to hear, even though it killed her to say them.
“I must be punished.”
Silence filled the room for a moment.But that moment was cold and unbearable, as though she were standing in the middle of a snowstorm.
“Everyone makes mistakes—” Mother finally said, breaking the silence.“I want to believe that this was a mistake, your first mistake.”
Jiyoo stared up at Mother as she took one step toward Jiyoo.Jiyoo was confused.Was she going to forgive Jiyoo without punishing her?Or was she going to forgive herbypunishing her?
“Jiyoo, did you bring Dad Puppet here with you?”
Jiyoo glanced furtively at the suitcase placed next to the desk.She couldn’t lie.Even if it meant that Mother would take him away.After all, Mother would have looked in her bag when she brought it upstairs.
“Yes.”
“Give it to me.”
Jiyoo turned her body and crouched next to the suitcase.She laid it on the ground and took out Dad Puppet, which was hidden underneath one of her sweaters.She looked it once in the eyes to say goodbye.Thank you.
“What are you doing?”Mother asked.She pressed Jiyoo to hand it over.Jiyoo stood up and handed Mother the puppet.
“Where did you find him?”Mother asked as she took him.
“I ...couldn’t sleep ...so I ...”
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- Page 135 (reading here)
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