Page 11 of Perfect Happiness

Jiyoo let out a strange sound that was neither “Yes” or “Okay.” It sounded like a sob caught in her throat.

Only now did Eun-ho realize the whites of Jiyoo’s eyes were red.

As Jiyoo turned around, her shoulders trembled as though she were crying.

She looked like she might fall over as she walked to the kitchen.

Eun-ho turned to Noah. But it was his mom’s eyes he met, not Noah’s. Her eyes were spitting at him: You idiot.

The back of Eun-ho’s head was burning, too. Wife’s eyes, which had locked on to the back of his head, were saying, Mama’s boy.

In fact, it was his being a mama’s boy that was Eun-ho’s second marriage-threatening flaw.

Around nine, Noah’s breathing returned to normal.

What hadn’t returned to normal was the mood.

The only ones talking were Eun-ho’s mom and Noah.

No one touched Wife’s goulash. Noah ate yogurt, and Eun-ho’s mom had plain white rice with soup.

Jiyoo counted grains of rice, and Eun-ho twice put his spoon in the goulash only to put it back down.

Wife didn’t even sit at the dinner table.

She was too busy providing Noah and his grandma with alternative menu items. When Eun-ho tried to get up from the table to help, she would sit him back down with her eyes.

And when she was done getting Noah and his grandma their food, Wife started idling her time away by doing chores that could have waited until later.

By putting away the unused bowls and wiping down the kitchen sink and gas stove, she was telling them, I’m not eating with you people.

“Are you not eating?” Eun-ho’s mom asked as she took a bite of rice soaked in soup.

This wasn’t something she said out of courtesy. Nor was it something she said to let everyone take a deep breath. She knew what Eun-ho’s wife was doing. She said this to pick a fight.

“I will.”

Wife took off her rubber gloves, hung them over the kitchen sink, and sat down. Only then did Eun-ho notice the bandages on Wife’s right hand.

“What’s wrong with your hand?” Eun-ho’s mom asked.

Wife picked up her utensils with her knuckles as she answered, “I cut my hand while slicing meat.”

This answer gave Eun-ho a sense of déjà vu.

Two years ago on Lake Baikal, on the day the two of them left Jinu behind and went on a tour of the north side of Olkhon Island by themselves, Wife had given Eun-ho a similar answer when he asked the third question he had for her.

My knife slipped while I was slicing meat.

At the time, Eun-ho had just accepted this answer.

Back then, making eye contact with Yuna was enough to make his brain short circuit.

But not anymore. As Eun-ho made eye contact with Wife, a completely logical question crossed his mind.

Wouldn’t a right-handed person cut their left hand while cooking, not their right?

Of course, it wasn’t impossible for a right-handed person to cut their right hand while cooking.

But what were the chances of it happening twice?

Had she grabbed hold of the blade instead of the handle?

“When did you cut yourself?” Eun-ho’s mom asked.

“A few days ago,” Wife answered as she looked down and pushed the goulash around her plate.

“Did you go to the hospital?”

“I got several stitches.”

Eun-ho’s mom nodded her head. She started making sarcastic remarks disguised as words of concern: “Cutting one’s hand is no small matter.” “What if she had bled out?” “Perhaps she should take cooking lessons.”

Eventually, Eun-ho’s mom changed the subject to something she really wanted to talk about.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

“Please.”

Wife’s eyes were still cast downward. Her voice and tone had found their usual calmness.

The only thing that wasn’t back to normal was her countenance, which was as opaque as a window with its shutters closed and was making everyone at the table invisible.

Back when they were dating, she would from time to time make this face and push Eun-ho away.

When that happened, despite being together, it felt like they were miles apart.

It always seemed to appear just as Eun-ho thought he had finally figured her out.

“I want you to take Noah back this month.”

Wife looked up at Eun-ho. And Eun-ho looked at his mom. This was an unexpected and bewildering notice. She said this month, but really there were only ten days left in November.

“I just don’t think I can wait until next March. I’ve been watching the way you two acted today and—”

“Before you say anymore—” Wife interrupted her in a quiet voice. “Why don’t we talk about this in the living room over some hot tea.”

“Yeah, Grandma,” Noah said. “Talk about it in the living room. I’m sleepy.”

Eun-ho’s mom chewed on her lips as Noah dragged her to the living room.

Wife turned to Jiyoo.

“Jiyoo, don’t you have something to do before bed?”

Jiyoo put down her chopsticks and got up. And then Eun-ho got his orders, too.

“Eun-ho, go to the living room and watch the kids. I’ll clean up and be right out.”

Eun-ho went out to the living room as he was told, but there wasn’t much to watch. Noah was lying with his head on his grandma’s lap, and Jiyoo was just standing there.

“Noah, you shouldn’t lie down after eating.”

Noah looked like he hadn’t heard Eun-ho. When Eun-ho walked over to him, Noah turned his body and buried his face in his grandma’s belly. Feeling embarrassed, Eun-ho turned to Jiyoo.

“Jiyoo, is there anything you need?”

“No. I’m going to do my homework.”

Jiyoo bowed her head and said goodnight, once to Eun-ho and once to Eun-ho’s mom.

“Goodnight.”

Eun-ho’s mom watched quietly as Jiyoo disappeared into the master bedroom.

“She’s just like her mother.”

No, she wasn’t. She was too lanky, and her features too delicate. She probably looked more like her playwright father.

“I don’t like her at all.”

“That’s just because you don’t see her often.”

Eun-ho’s mom opened her eyes like tall triangles.

“Do I have to see her often to like her? Just look at how she acts. Who could like a child like that? Just today—”

“Mom—” Eun-ho raised his voice. “Would you quit it? Noah’s here.”

What Eun-ho really wanted to say was: It’s because of you that Noah’s like this . But Eun-ho didn’t want to waste his energy; the real fight was yet to begin. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to make his mom like Jiyoo by arguing with her.

Eun-ho’s mom hadn’t liked Jiyoo from the outset.

Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she didn’t like that Jiyoo existed.

In her own words, when both parents were divorcees with kids, one child had to disappear for the other to receive devotion.

“You really believe Noah won’t become the other child?

” In her opinion, Noah was being sacrificed for Jiyoo.

Wife could only be half blamed for Noah’s living with his grandma. The other half of the blame resided with an idiot who acted like a slave to his new wife. Eun-ho recalled last summer, the day he proposed to her.

Yuna spent that weekend at Eun-ho’s place.

They’d been seeing each other for over a year by then.

He knew everything he could know about her, at least, that’s what he thought.

They got along so well that he wondered sometimes if they would ever fight.

He believed she believed he was her soulmate.

He was positive Yuna would say yes without hesitation.

But Yuna’s reaction was unexpectedly lukewarm. Dating was fine, but marriage? She said marriage was only possible if the other person wanted what she wanted.

“And what do you want?” Eun-ho asked.

Her answer was so banal that he thought it ridiculous.

“Happiness.”

Was there a human alive who didn’t want this? Eun-ho said that he wanted the same thing she did. He added that happiness was precisely the reason he was proposing to her.

“Tell me, Eun-ho, what do you think happiness is? And be specific.”

This caught Eun-ho off guard, like he had been sucker punched. He hadn’t expected his proposal to lead to such a philosophical conversation. Honestly, he had never thought much about what happiness was. Overthinking happiness never made anyone happier. Eun-ho hesitated for a while before answering.

“I think you will eventually become happy if you slowly collect happy moments over a lifetime.”

“Wrong. Happiness isn’t addition.” Yuna stared out the balcony window, as though she were searching for a distant horizon.

Although he doubted she could see much more than the reflection of their apartment in the glass pane.

“Happiness is subtraction. It’s getting rid of the possibility of unhappiness until life becomes perfect. ”

Eun-ho couldn’t agree with this, but he didn’t have anything really to say. He waited quietly for her to continue.

“I’ve lived my whole life striving for that perfect happiness.”

Yuna’s eyes turned back to Eun-ho and regained their focus.

“A married couple is a team. Your effort needs to match my effort.”

“I can do it,” Eun-ho replied without hesitation.

She was asking him to strive for happiness, so what was there to object to? And he sincerely wanted to be happy. He thought marrying her would make him that.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Eun-ho shouldn’t have taken this promise so lightly. Only when they started preparing for the wedding did Eun-ho get an idea of what she really meant by “effort.”

That day was the first time he had taken Yuna to Hanam. His mom asked Yuna if she was going to take Noah in when they got married.

“I will when we have a house for four.”

This answer was the promise she made when they got married that Mother brought up day in and day out.

The problem was that the two women had interpreted that promise differently.

Mother thought the important part was “when you get married” and Yuna thought the important part was “when we have a house for four.”