Page 20 of Perfect Happiness

J iyoo lay on the bed at the cabin. The night sky was tinted red. Down the street, dogs barked. A loon was nearby. This wasn’t the loon call Jiyoo was used to. It sometimes sounded like weeping, or groaning, or screaming. The cries weren’t coming from the wetlands, but from beyond the wall.

The attic.

Jiyoo sat up and looked around, as though under some powerful spell. She didn’t see any loons. She saw nothing that could make a sound on its own, not even a cricket. The loon called again. This time it sounded like gurgling. The source of the sound had moved downstairs.

Before Jiyoo knew it, she was walking down the stairs.

She took one step after another, but the steps seemed to go on forever.

Was she under yet another spell? No matter how far she went, she couldn’t reach the bottom of the stairs.

She started counting steps but would lose count and have to start over again. And then the loon went silent.

A voice came from outside the front gate.

Jiyoo, let’s go .

Jiyoo stopped on the stairs. She had heard this voice a long time ago.

She remembered the words clearly. This is what Father used to say to her.

He would say it before taking her to the playground.

But they weren’t going to the playground.

It sounded like he wanted to take her to the Half Moon Marsh.

Jiyoo, let’s go.

The voice was getting quieter. Father seemed to really want to go to the Half Moon Marsh. No, he was already there, heading to the gorge. Jiyoo unconsciously reached out into the empty air.

No, Father. Don’t go beyond the Half Moon Marsh.

Her voice didn’t form into words. It merely echoed inside her head. Jiyoo started running down the stairs. By the time she realized she had misstepped, her body was already tumbling through the air. But even as she fell, she called out to Father.

Don’t go! There’s a cliff!

Jiyoo’s long tumble only ended once her body fell to the floor of the kitchen. Jiyoo tried to lift herself up, but her body wasn’t listening. She couldn’t move a single finger. Lying face down on the cold wood floor, she could hear Mother’s voice in the darkness.

Jiyoo, what are you doing there?

Jiyoo couldn’t see Mother. All she could sense was a fishy smell. Jiyoo answered:

A loon is calling from beneath the attic.

Mother spoke in a cold whisper.

All the loons are in the Half Moon Marsh.

Jiyoo still couldn’t see her. Jiyoo shouted in frustration.

No! Father is at the Half Moon Marsh.

It’s okay. It’s just a dream. It’ll go away when you wake up in the morning.

Jiyoo shook her head.

No. Father is calling me from the Half Moon Marsh.

“It’s okay, child. It’s just a dream.”

This time, a different voice was calling out to Jiyoo. It sounded distant, as though it were coming from another world. It was Auntie’s voice. Jiyoo wanted to hear what Auntie said again.

Right? This isn’t real. It’s just a dream.

Jiyoo couldn’t open her mouth. Nor could she open her eyes. She couldn’t escape the dream. A powerful force was keeping her in the dream. Auntie’s voice cut out like a dying radio.

Jiyoo was back in the cabin. She was holding Dad Puppet as she sat on the windowsill and looked out at the wetlands.

Under the moonlight, the marsh sparkled like a pond of dark blue.

This new dream looked like her second night in Woohyeri.

She knew because there was a light moving through the wetlands.

The light approached the house. It gradually got larger and brighter.

But Jiyoo couldn’t see behind the light.

All she could see was a dark shadow-like figure glimmering in its halo.

The light exited the wetlands and disappeared outside the front gate.

Suddenly, the surroundings went dark as the moon disappeared behind the clouds.

The only light that remained was the halo of white from the lamp hanging on the maple tree in the front yard.

Jiyoo could hear something just beyond the lamp’s halo. The sound of the gate opening, the sound of a wheel rolling through the dirt, the sound of the gate closing. Something entered the halo of light. A wheelbarrow, the one they used to bring the ducks their food.

Something cast a time spell on Jiyoo. Her vision became fragmented, like the panels of a comic book. One still frame appeared at a time in front of her eyes, each illuminated by the light from the maple tree. The wheelbarrow handles. Two hands pushing the wheelbarrow. A shadowy figure.

The figure glimmering beneath the lamp belonged to a person. They wore what looked like a black raincoat and a black rain cap which covered their face. Jiyoo could clearly see a pair of blue boots beneath the hem of the raincoat.

Mother .

These words echoed inside Jiyoo’s head. The shadow suddenly turned to look up at Jiyoo’s window, as though it had heard her. Jiyoo let out a shriek.

There was nothing beneath the rain cap—only more shadow. And yet, Jiyoo could sense someone looking at her through the darkness, a pair of formless eyes looking straight up at her. Jiyoo couldn’t escape their pull; she was glued to the window. She couldn’t look away.

Then suddenly, a pair of eyeballs appeared out of the darkness and started to move toward her. They flew through the air, like a pair of black butterfly wings. When they reached the glass, their black pupils encompassed the entire frame. The large, ravenous pupils glared at her.

Jiyoo could hear Mother’s voice.

Jiyoo , what did you see from there?

*

“I didn’t see anything!”

Jiyoo was shaking her head as she opened her eyes. She couldn’t see in front of her. The black pupils were covering her view and wandering around like a school of tadpoles. Inside her head, a voice was repeating excuses and trying to hold back tears.

“I didn’t see anything. I swear.”

Warm tears started to flow down her cheeks and behind her ears, melting away the spell of the dream.

Slowly, Jiyoo’s senses started to return to her.

Warm, dry air. The faint smell of disinfectant.

The gentle pressure of a blanket wrapped around her body.

The peacefully rhythmic beeping of machines.

Jiyoo slowly was freed from the grip of the dream.

Her sobbing subsided and the muscles in her legs relaxed.

The eyes disappeared completely, and she began to take in her surroundings.

A bluish ceiling and a large, dark window, the languid drip of an IV, a guest bed next to hers, a laptop, a pair of earbuds lying on the bed.

The bluish light filling the room was coming from the laptop screen.

Jiyoo remembered she was in the hospital with Auntie.

She had woken up several times before. She remembered eating a meal here.

But where was Auntie now? Fear seized her again.

Perhaps she was still dreaming. Perhaps she was being taken back to the cabin.

She had to yell out for Auntie before that happened.

The sound of running water was coming from the bathroom. The door opened. She could hear Auntie’s footsteps as she walked over to the bed. Jiyoo felt relieved. This wasn’t a dream. She was really in the hospital with Auntie.

Jiyoo closed her eyes. She decided to pretend to be asleep.

She wanted to stay awake with her eyes closed until morning.

She could still sense the presence of the dream from earlier hovering in the room.

She was afraid that if she called out for Auntie, the dream would realize she was trying to escape and drag her by the nape of her neck back into the darkness.

Auntie stopped at the head of the bed. A moment later, Jiyoo felt a wet towel on her forehead. Her nose breathed in dry air with the smell of soap. Her throat tickled, as though she were about to sneeze.

Jiyoo tightened her throat and held her breath. Her fever must be gone. Her head didn’t hurt anymore. It seemed like she was all better. But she wanted Auntie to remove her hand from her forehead.

Auntie eventually took her hand away and pulled the sheets up to Jiyoo’s chest. Then she whispered to Jiyoo as if she knew she were awake.

“Go back to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jiyoo almost replied to this. Her face blushed and her eyelashes twitched. But she stubbornly kept her eyes shut. She was too embarrassed to open her eyes now that she had been caught. Auntie didn’t say anything more and retreated.

The room became quiet, so quiet that when Jiyoo swallowed the spit in her mouth it sounded like thunder.

She carefully cracked open one eyelid. Auntie was sitting against the wall with her earbuds in and looking down at her laptop.

Jiyoo let out a sigh. Thank goodness. Auntie really hadn’t gone anywhere.

Feeling safe, she shut her eyes again.

Inside her head, Mischievous Mouse was whispering to her.

Why did Mother go to the Half Moon Marsh?

Jiyoo answered this.

To feed the ducks, of course. Why else would she take the wheelbarrow?

Mischievous Mouse asked another question, this time sarcastically.

At night? By herself? Couldn’t she wait until morning?

Jiyoo didn’t have an answer. Now that she thought about it, Mother had prepared the duck feed on her own.

She told Jiyoo not to come down from upstairs.

This had never happened before. She always let Jiyoo watch her make the feed.

She called Jiyoo her little assistant and gave her all sorts of chores and tasks.

And if Jiyoo had a question, Mother would answer her kindly. When she was in a good mood, that was.

Mischievous Mouse asked another question.

Did Mother see you sitting on the windowsill?