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“‘I quite agree with you,’ said the Duchess; ‘and the moral of that is—“Be what you would seem to be”—or if you’d like it put more simply—“Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.”’

- Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Oz felt confused today.

No, that wasn’t right. Oz felt completely fucking baffled today.

He’d woken up to find a note from Natalie, telling him where she was going and pleading with him not to follow her, which she had to know he would. He’d made his way into this building to find Natalie bleeding, at which point she’d tied him to a chair.

Not that Oz was averse to being tied up by his partner, just that this wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined the act.

He blinked at her again, wondering if maybe he was seeing things and all of this was the result of some kind of unseen telepath confusing his mind and making him hallucinate. Or some kind of demonic possession situation.

Of course, Oz had also know Natalie for a few years now, and his gut told him that this was all par for the course and was exactly what it seemed. Crazy things had a tendency to happen around that sexy redhead, but this would be taking things to a whole new level of weird.

“Natalie…”He began.

“ I’m not Natalie. ” Natalie insisted.

Natalie’s body must have been taken over by one of her errant personalities. Or “secret identities” or whatever it was Nat insisted on calling them.

So… this was a hostage crisis. Basically. A weird one, sure, but when you stripped all the crazy away, it was basically the same.

Oz could deal with that. He’d dealt with plenty of those over the years, and he knew the basic rules you needed to follow: “Understand the emotions behind the words. Get the person’s attention.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

And treat the person with respect, even if they don’t deserve it, it gives you power over them. ”

“Okay.” Oz agreed calmly. “Who are you then?”

“Who am I?” She seemed to think the question called for a monologue, so Oz could tell it had been what she’d hoped he’d ask.

“Did you ever stand on a train platform and see a total stranger waiting near the edge, and just before the train pulls in, you have the sudden urge to push them onto the tracks? Just to see what would happen?”

“No.” All of the people Oz considered killing in his life were people he knew.

“You ever sit on a rooftop and watch the people go by through a scope, Mr. Dimico? Knowing that you could kill any of them in a second? That their life is in your hands, and should they displease you, you could strike them down like a god on Earth, and then simply disappear never to face justice?”

“No, can’t say as I have.”

“Huh.” She looked confused and surprised by his answer. “Must just be me then.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, that’s who I am.” She bowed her head in greeting. “My name is Mercygiver, Mr. Dimico. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Pity it shall be a short one.”

Oz snorted in dismissal of that idea. “You’re not going to hurt me, Natalie.”

“I’m not Natalie.”

“I’ve heard that before.” Oz recognized a button he could push. The longer he kept her here and talking, the better. “But I think we all know it’s a lie.”

Her pretty face contorted in rage. “ I’m not fucking Natalie!”

“Really?” He arched a mocking eyebrow. “Because I am. And she’s amazing.”

“Mercygiver” snorted, then frowned slightly, obviously confused by the fact she found that amusing.

Oz watched her silently for a moment, then shook his head in amazement. “This is really disturbing. Because I still find you abnormally hot.”

Natalie just stared at him .

And Oz was bored with the game. She was obviously having some kind of psychotic break and needed professional attention. The quickest way to do that was for him to get her out of here.

He used his powers to dissolve the bindings she’d attached to his wrists, and he simply stood up.

She took on a fighting stance. “I won’t let you take her from me.” She warned.

Thiiiiis could be a problem. In a fight, there was a 98% chance that Natalie would beat him to death in about twenty seconds.

Still, he wasn’t fighting Natalie at the moment.

He was fighting “Mercygiver.” And he was pretty sure he could win that one.

Because Natalie wouldn’t let “Mercygiver” hurt him.

“Fine. You win.” He spread his arms wide, opening himself up to attack. “Kill me then.” He invited.

“Mercygiver” looked shocked by that.

“Come on,” Oz motioned her forward, “if you’re going to kill me, come do it. We both know you could if you wanted.”

“Mercygiver” didn’t move. And looked confused and appalled by the fact she wasn’t moving.

But Oz wasn’t surprised at all. There wasn’t a part of that woman’s fractured mind which he didn’t trust and love.

And there wasn’t any way in the world that she would ever hurt him.

“I could, you know.” “Mercygiver” told him, like she was defending not doing it by pointing out how easy it would be.

“I know.” Oz nodded. “I think you could kill just about anything.”

“…I’m really good at it.” “Mercygiver” agreed, sounding almost proud that he’d noticed.

“Why don’t we just get out of here?” He suggested, keeping his voice calm. “I’m sure there’s so much I could learn from you.”

He strolled from the apartment and out into the warehouse space, so that they didn’t break any of Natalie’s adopted father’s things. He had a feeling she’d be pissed if they did. He motioned for her to follow him, and surprisingly she did.

Then she stopped and pushed him away, letting out a snarl and moving towards the door.

Oz stepped into her path, seeing that his plan of playing into her ego and being respectful was now done.

She took on a fighting stance again.

“I’d never hurt you, Natalie.” He shook his head, but prepared to fight anyway.

There was no way he was letting her leave here without him.

If that happened, he wasn’t certain he’d ever see her again.

“…But I think you’ll forgive me for the headache you’re about to wake up with.

” He winked at her in flirtatious challenge. “Let’s have some fun, baby doll.”

She rushed towards him, screaming in rage…

And that’s when something crashed through one of the windows and the room exploded.

****

Oz came to an unknown amount of time later, looking around for Natalie.

And she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

He immediately started to theorize about what might have happened. Had her power today been to explode? No, that didn’t make any sense. Had she…

His gaze fell to the ground and the unmistakable evidence of some kind of flash-bang device, which appeared to be augmented with unknown tech.

His eyes narrowed, sick to death of aliens meddling with his love life.

And, obviously, tired of getting knocked out. That was twice in an hour.

He could only assume it was because of the previous events of the evening, and his body hadn’t recovered to its full strength yet.

While being with Natalie had been something worthy of tile mosaics and epic hundred-thousand verse poems, in his opinion, he probably would have waited until tomorrow to make his move, if he’d known that tonight would be the day that all heck broke loose.

Nah, he still would have had sex with that woman.

To be honest, that was literally how he’d want to spend his last day, if he’d found out he was going to die.

Natalie had asked him that once and he’d given her some nonsense answer.

But now he knew the real one. He’s spend his last day with her.

He’d have a lovely meal with her, listening to her laugh and smile and be happy, then he’d show her how much he loved her, and fall asleep with her in his arms.

That was a pretty good last day.

Which was, perhaps, the reason why he wasn’t at all afraid of dying at the moment.

He was afraid for Natalie, obviously, but he wasn’t personally afraid for himself.

Although, as two shapes made their way through the smoke which filled the room, he got the sense that he probably should be afraid.

August and Anton Masterson.

“Hello, OCD.” One of them sneered. Honestly, Oz had never been the best at telling the men apart.

He’d never liked them. They didn’t wash their hands before touching Freedom Squad reports and they smelled like too much Brylcreem.

They wore identical bowler hats, brown pinstriped suits, and gun holsters.

Oz nodded his head at them in greeting. “Anton.”

The man’s eyes narrowed in irritation. “ August .” He snapped.

Oz gave a disinterested shrug. “Whatever.”

The men didn’t look pleased by that.

“I am going to ask you just once,” he warned, his voice darkening, “ where is Multifarious? ”

The men started to laugh at that, apparently thinking it was some kind of joke. “She’s dead by now, Oswald.” Anton informed him with a sneer. “And you’re about to join her.”

Oz didn’t believe that for a second. If “Mercygiver” could defeat Natalie in a fight, there was absolutely no chance that these two schlubs had taken Mercygiver out.

She was a bitch too tough to die, and Natalie had apparently been trying for years.

They were evil, but they weren’t her peculiar brand of evil.

Which meant that she was either somewhere in this warehouse or she’d been taken somewhere by the Agletarians.

“The Agletarians have got big plans for her body though, don’t worry.” Anton assured him. “And the city too.”

Oz played a hunch. “I think we’ve all got a ‘train’ to catch, yes.”

The men looked surprised that he knew about whatever it was the Agletarians were planning with that train.

August chuckled to himself, obviously thinking about the looming unspecified tragedy. “Jesus, I wish I could be there to see that.” He sighed wistfully. “You know I’ve never seen the parade? Lived in this city for…”

“Can we just kill him and get out of here?” Anton snapped. “I’m sick of all this talking. I want to kill him so that we can get paid and get outta the city before that thing comes on-line.”

August nodded.“Right.”

So… something to do with the parade. And a machine of some kind.

Excellent .

Oz might not have Natalie’s “world’s greatest detective” powers, but it was fairly easy to get information out of complete morons.

“I asked you a question.” Oz reminded them, wanting to know exactly where Natalie was and wanting to know immediately . “I warned you that I would only ask it once and that I expected an answer.” He met their eyes dead on. “I haven’t received one yet.”

The men started chuckling again, and one of them went for the gun at his belt, intending to shoot Oz.

Oz pulled the revolver Natalie had given him from behind his back and shot the man in the head.

He watched the man collapse to the ground, the pistol smoke dancing around the Kilroy symbols engraved in the gun barrel.

Anton fell dead. Or… maybe that was August? He didn’t remember or care.

“Damn.” Oz said, making a regretful face.

“I was trying to do that intimidation thing where the cowboy shoots off the bad guy’s hat…

but it turns out it’s much harder than it looks.

” He turned the gun on the remaining Masterson and cocked it, arching an eyebrow in challenge. “Wanna go double or nothing?”’

And the man immediately told him everything he wanted to know.