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“No, I’m perfectly happy.” Roach gestured to Oz.

“But he’s sure as hell not going to be. Look at him!

You think that motherfucker is going to make it on the inside?

You think he’s got daughters to break him out of that wrinkled nightmare filled with duck puzzles and urine stains?

Fuck no. He’s going to shrivel up in a ball and bawl his pussy eyes out.

” He tapped the tabletop. “You’re fucked, boy.

Forget trying to stay healthy, you need to start killing yourself with fun now, while you still can. Burn out, don’t fade away.”

Oz had no real reply to that, instead he was just wondering where all of this tableware came from. Or the table itself, for that matter.

“The store.” Natalie matter-of-factly answered his unspoken question. “It’s a very good sale this Friday.”

“Uh-huh.” Oz sank down into one of his new chairs, which were predictably 1950s retro chrome and colorful vinyl.

That seemed to be a theme of Natalie’s powers and tastes today.

Half of his apartment was now somehow mid-century in design, from new lamps to those spikey starburst wall clocks.

“I figured.” He blinked down at the odd food sitting in front of him, surprised that they weren’t having turkey for Thanksgiving.

“Jjajangmyeon.” Natalie helpfully supplied.

May nodded, removing the earbuds from her ears, the faint sound of classical music audible for a moment until she hit pause. “It’s traditional.”

Oz continued staring at the bowl of dark colored food and vegetables. “How is a Korean noodle dish a ‘traditional’ Thanksgiving meal?”

Roach snorted in disgust. “Racist.”

Oz held out his hands helplessly. “I’m just saying it’s not something I’ve ever heard of being associated with Thanksgiving, that’s all.”

Roach groaned in annoyance. “It’s a long story, boy, and I’m not going to sit here and waste time…”

“Roy went to Korea.” Natalie summarized, cutting off her adopted uncle. “He liked the people and the food. And Thanksgiving.”

Oz blinked at the meal several more times, then nodded. “Okay.” That was a surprisingly reasonable reason to be eating this then.

“Can we fucking eat?” Roach demanded. “Or does Oz have to insult the rest of fucking Asia first?”

“I didn’t insult Asia!” Oz defended. “I was just…”

“Bow your head, you fucking ingrate.” Roach interrupted. “In this house, we say grace.”

“It’s his house, Papa.” May reminded her father.

Oz held up a hand, not making that an issue. “I think grace would be nice, actually.”

Roach bowed his head, speaking to his Creator in prayer.

“You know what? I’m an old man. You’ve never given me nothing I didn’t have to take for myself.

” He announced. “I hate plenty of the things you tell me to love and I love plenty of things you tell me are a sin. But I don’t fuck with you and you don’t fuck with me, Lord.

Let’s keep it that way. Amen.” He looked up. “Now let’s fucking eat!”

“That was beautiful, Uncle Hector.” Natalie deadpanned.

Hector rolled his eyes. “One time, fucking Roy said grace to some homeless kids and he ended up crying during it, like a miserable little pussy.” He shared in delight, obviously enjoying a story about his brother which he thought was embarrassing, despite the fact the man wasn’t there to hear it.

He scooped a large portion of the noodles onto his own plate first, going against established Thanksgiving protocol of making sure you helped everyone else get food before taking any for yourself.

“I really don’t know why he cared so much about them anyway.

” Roach snorted in dismissal. “Dirty hippies.”

“Roy was amazing.” Natalie agreed, looking at Oz. “You would have really liked him. He could break up a fight by just being there. He’d have people shaking hands within minutes. He had a calm authority that made people pay attention to him and listen.”

“He was a bum.” Roach decided around a mouthful of his food.

“He won the congressional medal of freedom.” Natalie paused for a beat. “Twice.”

Roach scoffed in dismissal. “He was still a bum.” May took the utensils from him and made certain that his food was cut into small enough bites, but he grabbed the fork back from her, glaring.

“He said things like ‘jumping jiminy.’” He continued.

“I mean, that’s not fucking normal! It’s a symptom of a diseased mind.

No wonder the girl takes after him.” He gestured to Natalie.

“He drank milk at every meal, for fuck’s sake!

” He pointed at her. “I ever catch you doing that and I’ll kill you myself, boy. ”

“’Girl,’ Papa. Multifarious is a girl.” May corrected.

“I can see that, May, I’m not fucking blind.” Roach gestured to Natalie again. “She’s got tits, for fuck’s sake. Generally, men don’t have those unless they’re fat as a fucking orca or are the most popular guy in prison.”

May shook her head in condemnation. “Why do you feel the need to ruin every meal, Papa?”

“My fucking upbringing. My cunt of a mother didn’t hold me enough and now I don’t deal well with emotional intimacy. It makes me lash out.” Roach paused for a beat, like that reminded him of bad memories. “And thanks for bringing THAT up! What the fuck is wrong with you, May!?!”

“How about you, Oz?” May asked, apparently more from a desire to end her father’s nonsense than from a real interest. “Are your parents still with us? ”

Oz shook his head. “They’re dead.”

“Oz’s dad was that dude who shot up that burger joint years back. Remember that?” Natalie casually informed them, helping herself to more noodles.

The fact that his father was an evil madman who killed a building full of innocent people was treated with the exact same amount of importance as she had given to discussing the china pattern today.

There was something almost comforting in that though.

Oz had spent his entire life ashamed of his father and living in constant fear that he too would one day succumb to that same madness.

But to Natalie, it was apparently a matter so trivial that it was something you casually introduced during pre-Thanksgiving dinner with your family.

Because to her, his father’s actions didn’t involve him at all.

It… made him smile.

Roach nodded at the gruesome memory of Oz’s father’s crime. “That was pure amateur hour.” He said with deep contempt, then looked back and forth between his daughters. “What do I always say, huh? What was the fucking advice I gave you both on your prom nights?”

“’If you have to take hostages, plant bombs outside first to cover your escape.’” The women parroted, sounding bored. “And ’There’s no such thing as too many bullets.’”

Roach nodded, looking pleased. “Damn straight. People need to start listening to me more. That’s why this fucking world is so fucked up, because nobody has got any goddamn sense no more.”

Natalie didn’t look convinced by that line of reasoning. “Like that time you told everyone at my birthday party that ‘Winnie the Pooh’ was a metaphor for Communism?”

Roach was so insulted by that he nearly choked on his food. “He wears a red shirt and the Russian symbol is a bear. Do I have to draw you a fucking diagram?” He pointed at her with his fork. “Substitute vodka for honey, and he’s essentially more Russian than the goddamn czar!”

May nodded, humoring the man. She used her fork to rearrange things on the old man’s plate. “You need to eat more carrots, they’re good for you.”

Roach shook his head in determination, obviously drawing a line in the sand on that issue.

“Fuck carrots. I don’t understand health food.

Why spend your entire life eating things you don’t like and being miserable, just for the minute possibility of maybe having a few extra months of eating things you don’t like and being miserable?

Personally, I’d rather eat whatever the fuck I wanted and have fun . ”

“Oz is very into healthy living.” Natalie shared, sounding almost proud of him. “It’s one of his weird obsessions. He’s trying to get me to eat healthy or something.” She rolled her eyes. “He thinks I’m going to have a heart attack if I keep eating trash.”

“That sounds very controlling.” Roach observed, suspicion in his tone. “It’s probably a warning sign.”

Natalie cheerily flipped off her uncle, not bothering to reply to that. “Now I’m trying to eat healthy too, just so he’ll shut up about it.”

“Uh-huh.” Oz ate another mouthful of his food. “What did you have for lunch today, Natalie?”

“Can of vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles.” She answered immediately.

He nodded, expecting that answer but still finding it amusing.

The woman was magical and he knew better than to ever try to stop her from doing something.

She was an absolute force of nature, he was just worried about her.

She needed to take better care of herself.

She took too many risks and it never occurred to her that she was still human.

Oz had already spent an evening watching her die, and he wasn’t about to do that again.

Natalie needed to be protected from herself, it seemed.

“Well, I said he was trying to get me to eat healthy, I didn’t say that I was listening .” Natalie defended to the others. “I’m a superheroine, which means I’m really more concerned about getting shot with a deathray or attacked by mutated hyena men, than I am about my dietary health.”

Roach looked equally confused by Oz’s crazy ideas about meals needing to contain something other than sugars and saturated fats. “The rainbow colors are probably like fruit flavored or something, right? Fruit is healthy.”

Oz opened his mouth to correct Hector on that, but the man cut him off.