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“Ah, yes. Thank you.” Oklahoma nodded, like that reminded her of what she wanted to say.

“Let’s get one thing straight: I’m an Irregular .

” She moved the lapel of her tuxedo jacket to reveal a double “P” Purchasing and Production pendant, which was dangling along with two other charms between her obnoxiously perfect breasts in a deliberately sexual way.

Her particular version of the symbol was gold though, signifying that not only was she an Irregular, but she was also a member of Monty’s inner circle, the “Executive Staff.” She shook her head.

“I’m not a drone and I’m not brainwashed.

Mister Welles isn’t my boss; he’s my family.

I don’t have super-powers, I’m just a whore with people skills and an ear to the ground.

But I owe that man . I can never repay him for all he’s done for me.

” She tapped her fingernail on the table meaningfully.

“He has earned my unconditional loyalty. Forever. I don’t need pity.

This isn’t a story where I learn the error of my ways and escape him with your help.

I don’t need or want that. This is a story where I will gladly do whatever he needs me to do, because I want to do it.

I believe in Montgomery Welles. I truly do.

And there isn’t a single Irregular who wouldn’t tell you the same.

” She looked as confused and horrified by Mull and Oz as they were with her.

“But for some reason, you people can just never understand what it means to belong to a family .”

“And what does it mean?” Oz asked.

“It means that if he wanted you dead or if I thought you meant him harm, I’d kill you with my bare hands right here.” The woman casually threatened. “Happily. No questions asked, no regrets felt.”

Mull gave a long slow “Dammit, you’re crazy , girl” kind of whistle.

“If you have no one you’d die for and no one who would die for you, then that says more about your life than it does about mine .

” Oklahoma reminded them. “But whether you think I’m crazy and brainwashed or not, I would quite literally do anything for him, and you are his friends and he wants me to help you, so I extend to you that same undying loyalty.

” Her voice became completely sincere, issuing a solemn vow.

“I am not the most powerful person in this city. Far from it. But my organization and its assets are now yours . Tell me what you want and I will get it done , even if it kills me and costs me every goddamned thing I have in this world. I will do it, I swear to God and Montgomery Welles, I will. It’ll get done. You have my absolute word on it. ”

The words hung in the air for a long moment, as they processed the almost religious zeal of the woman’s vow.

“We need August and Anton Masterson.” Oz finally informed her again. “Quick as you can.”

“Okay. How would you like them killed?” Oklahoma asked flatly, like a clerk at a fastfood place asking you if you wanted fries with your order. “Do you want them to disappear or would you like it to be public and bloody as a warning to others?”

Mull brightened, instantly more interested in the conversation. “Oh, public and…!”

“We don’t want them dead,” Oz interrupted, “we’re just looking for them. We need to follow them to get to the Agletarians.”

“I understand.” Oklahoma pulled out her phone again and pressed several buttons rapidly, then put it to her ear.

“Put the word out: Montgomery Welles is looking for August and Anton Masterson. We want their current location, immediately . Put everyone on it, tell everyone who owes us a favor that it’s time to make good.

Hunt the bastards down .” She pressed the disconnect button, and casually continued the conversation. “Was there anything else?”

“So this is really what you do then?” Mull wondered aloud, feeling like she was watching sausage get made. The Purchasing and Production Department was a bit of an unknown, and Mull was grotesquely fascinated to watch from the inside as one of its wheels turned.

“Yes.” Oklahoma nodded. “I oversee Mr. Welles’ less tangible assets, such as law enforcement personnel, legislators, prominent citizens, low-level criminals, informants…

that kind of thing. Anyone in the world outside of the Irregulars, Wellesburg, and ‘Special Projects.’ I manage the people we control or who owe us a favor.

I relay messages and information between them and Mr. Welles.

I issue his orders and make sure they’re carried out.

” She finished off her malt. “Do you know what a political whip is? They don’t chart the course or shout orders to the men.

They simply make sure everyone on the team is…

rowing in the right direction. And I can be very persuasive.

” The next words seemed so obvious to Oklahoma, that they came out sounding like a given.

“But it’s very easy work. Mister Welles is a man of unborrowed vision.

” Monty’s Girl Friday informed them seriously, something close to pride or wonder in her voice.

“He’s a power hungry madman.” Oz deadpanned.

Oklahoma shrugged, unconcernedly. “Name me one great visionary in history who wasn’t .”

“He’s gotten a lot of people killed.”

Oklahoma held up a finger, believing she was about to impart on them great wisdom. “As Helena Welles, Montgomery’s grandmother, used to tell me: ‘Eggs have no business dancing with stones.’”

“You love him.” Oz decided, reading between the lines. “Don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question.

“Jesus.” To Mull’s surprise, Oklahoma laughed in delighted mirth, as if that idea were charmingly amusing.

“You people have seen Pretty Woman too many times.” She slid her empty strawberry malt glass out of the way.

“It is possible to work with someone of the opposite sex without falling in love with them, you know.”

“Particularly when they’re an asshole.” Mull observed.

Oklahoma’s eyes narrowed, obviously taking offense on her boss’ behalf. “He’s just misunderstood.”

“I understand him real well.” Mull challenged. “He’s essentially Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective . But with less singing. And without the inherent charm of Vincent Price.”

The woman stared at her for a moment, then snorted in laughter. “Ha! I can see that.” She pulled out her phone to type something into it. “Hold on a sec, let me text that to Higgins, he’ll love it…”

“Maybe we do understand him real well because we’ve known him longer than you have.”

“Possibly.” Oklahoma was busy sending her text, not even looking at them. “I haven’t known him as long as some people. Just since I was 4 . Higgins has known him since he was born.” She arched an eyebrow. “How about you?”

“I’ve known him about 3 years.”

“207 days.” Oz reported, apparently literally counting.

“I bow to your greater experience with him then, obviously.” Oklahoma pressed send on her phone.

“I don’t get it.” Mull let out a long, confused breath. “I’m so sick of listening to the Irregulars talk about how amazing Monty is. They treat him like he’s God and I just don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I, to tell you the truth.” Oklahoma agreed. “I mean, he’s good and all, don’t get me wrong, but he’s no Montgomery Welles.”

Mull and Oz simply stared at the woman, not reacting to the joke at all.

At least, Mull assumed it was a joke, anyway.

Oklahoma didn’t appear to notice the pause in the conversation. “But that’s okay. I’ll still help you with your little ‘investigation.’”

“We’re also looking into the Agletarian matter.” Oz informed her. “Can you tell us anything about that? Why they’re after Natalie?”

The question seemed to give Oklahoma pause, and her eternally confident facade dropped for the briefest of seconds.

She was hiding something. Something she knew about it. But she wasn’t sure if she could tell them or not.

Before they could press her, the phone was already up to her ear again.

“It’s me, Champ. Question: do you want me to tell them everything or just the stuff they want to know?

” She listened to the reply. “Alright, understood.” She pressed the disconnect button on the phone.

“They’re from the research and development branch of the Agletarian military. ”

Oz’s eyebrows soared. “How do you know this?”

“I am surprisingly good at some things. This is one of the ones which doesn’t require me to take off my clothes first.” She put her phone away.

“They call themselves ‘Unit 691.’ They are, to put it simply, the worst people you can possibly imagine. They get their rocks off doing experiments on prisoners and civilians. Cutting them up in the name of science. Giving them diseases to test infection rates. Mowing down political dissidents to test new weapons. They once had a super-person breeding program, in hopes of creating an interesting combination of powers. If you name an atrocity, these guys have the merit badge for it. They’ve done it to their enemies and their friends and to their own children.

All in the service of their fanatical state and their own loony ideals.

They are evil, in the truest and least hyperbolic sense of the word.

If you believe in Hell, those people genuinely belong there.

” She looked at Mull. “And now they’re here in the city. Apparently trying to kill you.”

“Why?”

“You’re not a popular person, in case it’s escaped your attention.” Oklahoma seemed to take that as a given. “I barely know you and I already have plenty of reasons to want you dead.”

“Do you and Monty know the specific reasons why they’re here to kill her?” Oz pressed, losing his patience with the woman.

Oklahoma continued staring at him, avoiding the question.

“But you’re not going to tell us.” Mull guessed.

“I’m with Welles.” She reminded them.