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“If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.”

- Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Several Days Later

Natalie was doing something she really didn’t want to do.

She’d much rather be at home right now, continuing to introduce Oz to the many wonders of sugary cereals, while he meticulously worked his way through “The Pile of Mail I Don’t Want to Open” for her.

So far, he informed her that she owed $2,600 to people. But there were also enough uncashed checks in there that it was basically evening out.

No, she didn’t want to be here.

But she felt like it was important to deal with this. As she walked down the hospital corridor though, she didn’t feel at all happy about it.

Oz was outside dealing with his police contacts at the moment, which meant that she also had to do this alone.Well, not completely alone. Unfortunately.

“All I’m saying is that if you’re gonna try to kill me, I’d like a heads up, that’s all.” Mr. Jack repeated.

Natalie pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to scream at Mercygiver’s lieutenant. “I have no intention of killing you.”

“So… do I still have a job then?”

She put up her hands helplessly. “I have no idea. Just… just give me a few days to sort myself out and I’ll get back to you, okay?”

Mr. Jack didn’t appear happy with that. “I’m not trying to step on your toes or anything here, Boss, but it’s the holiday season and I’d like to have some job security, you know? I don’t want to… ”

Mercygiver’s temper snapped. “Mr. Jack,” Ronnie rounded on him, “I recognize that you are a man of limited intelligence, so I will try to speak as slowly as possible,” he stepped closer to the man threateningly, “you are going to shut your mouth and do as you’re told, or you’re going to be spending the holidays in the secure position of being fucking dead! ”

Mr. Jack nodded in terror, taking several steps backward. “Y-y-you got it, boss. Take… take all the time you need.” He literally ran from the scene.

Mull nodded at Ronnie in appreciation. “Nicely done.”

Ronnie smiled at the compliment, then stepped aside for Natalie again.

As she arrived outside the room, someone moved to block her path.

She blinked at him in surprise, not even remembering the last time she saw Higgins without his boss.

The flunky glared at her, obviously furious.

“You put Oklahoma in the ICU, Miss.” Higgins reminded her darkly.

“She’s an Irregular . You fight an Irregular, you’d better be prepared to fight all of us.

And there are more of us than you can imagine.

” His tone grew harsher. “If Mr Welles didn’t believe in you, we’d be having a very different conversation right now. ”

“You’ve seen what I can do.” She informed him, not having time for this. “I’m a dangerous person to mess with, Higgins.”

“Hildy’s strong enough to throw you into the sun, ma’am.

” He arched a challenging eyebrow. “Can any of those powers allow you to live on the Sun?” Still, he stepped aside for her, because Monty had evidently ordered his men to stay away from her.

“We’re family, miss. We protect our own. That’s what families do.”

Natalie ignored that and made her way into the hospital room.

Inside, Oklahoma Mike was stretched out in her bed, talking on her phone.

Christ, even in a hospital gown and beat to hell, she still looked like saxophones should be playing sexily whenever she entered a room.

It just wasn’t fair!

“I’m telling you, I’m fine, you really don’t need to make poor Higgins…” She told someone on the other end of the phone, then trailed off when she saw Natalie enter. “I’ll call you back, Champ.”

They both stared at each other for several moments of awkward silence.

“I’m sorry my evil personality took over and beat the shit out of you.

” Natalie told her honestly, not knowing how else to even phrase that.

She sank into a chair next to Oklahoma’s bed.

“I took no part in it, but it won’t happen again, you have my word.

I have Mercygiver completely under control now.

Ronnie won’t ever hurt anyone else without permission, I swear it. ”

“You kill her?” Oklahoma asked, a note of hope in her smoky voice.

Truth told, Oz’s evil side and her evil side had really been hitting it off. Oz and Ronnie had developed their own weird little… thing, and they had spent most of the previous day excitedly sharing history trivia like the obsessive fucking nerds they were.

Ronnie was still a demented lunatic who wanted to use brutal murder as a shortcut to all of life’s problems, but he was also so pathetically grateful for Oz’s love and so loyal and in love with Oz in return, that now whenever Mercygiver was in the room with Oz, it was like, “Umm… I was wondering if I could maybe fetch your slippers and give you another embarrassingly enthusiastic blowjob, sir, if that wouldn’t be too much of an imposition on you? Please? Pretty-pretty-please! ”

It was just sad.

She was almost disappointed in her evil side. Not that she wanted them to argue or fight, obviously, but… Ronnie didn’t have to be completely Oz’s history buddy and meekly thankful sex toy. They didn’t have to gossip about obscure medieval bullshit trivia until THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!

She’d never get over that. It showed a blatant disrespect to the rest of her brain, and she was seriously going to have a talk with herself about it. She intended to gather all of herselves together again, and lay down the law .

At the moment though, she didn’t have the heart.

Mercygiver followed Oz around everywhere like a fucking puppy, all doe-eyed and eager and fawning after Oz in wonder, like he was the hero of some grand fucking legend, brought to life.

It was embarrassing. But it was good for Ronnie.

He’d settle down, once he got used to being loved.

Ronnie was dark and damaged and had been alone for too long.

Been hurt too much and had seen too much.

If that part of her mind needed Oz for emotional support, sexual healing, and intellectual companionship, she was glad to let it happen.

Natalie felt the same way about Oz, obviously, but at least she tried to hide it.

For her part, Mull thought that Ronnie and Oz were going to run away together or something, leaving the rest of them behind. She was kinda jealous.

Natalie thought the whole thing was rather adorable. And really went to show what an incredible man Oz was. That he could find it in his heart to love someone so horrible and damaged.

But she was still going to establish some kind of schedule, so that sleep was possible and the various parts of her mind could maintain some degree of pride around Oz. If they all worked together, they could at least pretend to play hard to get.

It was tough, but she was sure they could do it.

Probably.

She gently ran her fingertip over the gold anklet Oz had given her, and the three enamel hearts which dangled from it. White, black, and a red heart with a tiny clock mounted in it. Reminding her every second that he loved all of her.

He’d bought it during the store’s Black Friday sale.

She was very proud.

“Ronnie has…” She trailed off, searching for a delicate way to explain making peace with herself, and the darkly sensual things they all did with Oz in bed. “He’s… found other things to occupy his mind.” She explained.

Oklahoma’s eyebrow arched, somehow guessing the details, a smile curving her swollen but still perfectly shaped lips. “Kinky. …It’s always the quiet ones.” She seemed amused by that. “To be fair though, Oswald is a very beautiful man.”

“He’s mine.” Natalie, Multifarious, and Mercygiver all warned the woman at once, just in case there was any mistake about that.

Oklahoma considered that, her pale green eyes swollen nearly shut, but still conniving.

“I want exclusive distribution rights to sales of BluRays of your fight with the Agletarians.” She announced, like it wasn’t up for debate. “I think a ninety-foot half-naked redhead taking apart a robot monster, should be something that appeals to my clientele.”

Natalie’s eyebrows rose. “You want to sell movies of me naked?”

“No.” She shook her head. “You’re in your underwear, not naked.

Well… there are a few times when things pop free, but that’s bound to happen.

” She put down her phone. “Movies of you naked are already out there, Mercygiver. The parade was nationally televised. The footage is on the evening news, for God’s sake!

There’s no stopping that now. So you might as well profit from it. ”

“But I’m naked! ”

“Not all the way. Besides, if you look good in the footage, who cares?” Oklahoma shrugged unconcernedly. “This is the 21 st century: naked photos are only humiliating if you look bad in them.”

Natalie opened her mouth to reply to that, then closed it, then opened it again, trying to decide how embarrassing her next question would be.

Oklahoma guessed what she wanted to know. “Oh, yes. You looked very good in it, don’t worry. Some powers don’t always make for the most appealing shots, but you? The hundred foot sex goddess?” She smiled her femme fatale smile. “You found your pretty.”

“70-30, me.” Natalie decided.

“Oh, fuck you, ‘ Fight Club’ ! You put me in the hospital!” Oklahoma reminded her. “60-40, me.”

“70-30 and I’d get final approval on the cut.”

“Who are you? Stanley Kubrick, now? No.” Oklahoma shook her head. “You are merely the talent, I will handle the business side of things.”

“If I’m in it, then it’s my movie. I want approval or no deal. This will be presented as a fight, not smut.”

“You’re in your underwear!”