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“’I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'”

- Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Years Ago

She sat cross-legged on the bar of the unimaginatively named “The Bar” in Flagstone, Agletaria, wishing that she could afford a drink.

She was currently in disguise, and thus, her physical face was shown to the world and she felt naked.

It was useful at times, but her nauseatingly wholesome and friendly features sure didn’t exactly scare people.

She often thought of taking a straight razor to the face or something, just to give it some character.

An eyepatch, a tattoo, some claw marks, ANYTHING.

She’d put up with that innocent expression, freckles, and button nose for too long already.

Something drastic needed to be done.

Plus, the bar was a dump. The kind of place that had sawdust on the floor and bloodstains on the walls.

But it was as far away from civilization as a person could get, which was always a plus.

And it had the finest watered down drinks to be found anywhere in these mountains.

Which… when you considered the isolated locale, wasn’t saying much.

In the corner, a broken radio emitted intermittent static, while the half dozen drunk and perspiring patrons inside the sweltering, dimly lit room watched each other suspiciously and kept to themselves.

Sunlight shown through several large holes in the roof, illuminating random areas around the interior of the space in spotlights of dusty light, but did nothing to chase away the darkness which seemed to loom over the chamber.

Agletaria was a cold country most of the time, but at the moment, it was hot and still inside the bar. Summers here were the worst . And it always smelled of stale sweat and mold, no matter where in the country you were.

She had always hated it here. From the depth of her soul, she hated it. There was just something about it that made her angry and… anxious.

Seated at the creaking table in front of her, Rondel busied himself with a game of solitaire. “I do wish you would stop that, Kitten. It begins to grate.”

She ignored him and kept playing her harmonica.

“Good Lord , but you are difficult.” He rolled his eyes behind the designer sunglasses he hadn’t bothered to take off, despite the gloom. “You always need to complicate things.” He used his foot to kick out the chair across from him so that it skidded closer to her. “ Sit .”

She ignored him, continuing to play the haunting and repetitive tune.

He heaved another longsuffering sigh. “Sometimes I wonder why I don’t simply just kill you.”

“You want me.” She told him casually, gesturing to her body with her free hand. “And I don’t blame you.”

“My, my,” he smiled humorlessly, “aren’t we just feeling extra confident in ourselves today?

” He looked up at her. “Let me explain something to you: I already have you, if you recall. And as delightful as I find your company, the reason I don’t kill you, is that I’m your friend , Kitten.

That is the only thing keeping you alive. ”

“You’re my friend now?” She blinked at him. “Being my friend has a high mortality rate, you know.”

“Yes, so I’ve noticed.” He placed the queen of hearts down on the king of spades. “You do seem to accumulate bodies at a fairly rapid pace, don’t you?” He pulled three more cards from his deck. “But I’m still here. Frankly, I’m beginning to think that you and I are made for each other.”

“Oh god, not this again.” She rolled her eyes. “You know I hate it when you do this.”

“Do what? Point out the obvious?”

“What we have isn’t serious, Rondel. We’re not friends, we’re not soulmates, we don’t ‘belong together.’ This is simply a beneficial working relationship, focused on a mutual goal. You know this doesn’t mean anything. Not really. Stop pretending that it does.”

“I understand.” He nodded sharply, his fingers almost imperceptibly tightening on his deck of cards. “You are merely using me. Again. ”

“Something like that, yes.” She flashed him a teasing smile, trying to defuse the situation before it spiraled out of control. The man had a quick temper and once triggered, violence usually followed. “We do have some fun together, don’t we?”

Her plan to calm him didn’t work, and he was up out of his chair in the blink of an eye. He backhanded her and she toppled backwards off the bar. She hit the dirty floor in a heap, holding her jaw and hoping he hadn’t broken it again.

The other patrons in the bar were momentarily interested, but then decided it best to ignore the entire matter.

She got back to her feet, once again debating with herself whether she should fight him or back down. She spent most of her days asking herself that, truth told. Ultimately, it didn’t really much matter. He was going to win either way.

Deciding that if he hit her again, she’d probably black out, she slunk over to sit in the chair across from him, exactly as he’d ordered.

He watched her expressionlessly. “Where was I, Kitten? Before your rudeness.”

“You were explaining to me how we’re the best of friends.” She reminded him. “Then you hit me. Again.”

“Ah, yes.” He nodded. “You and I have a history together, don’t we? That’s important in any relationship.”

She opened her mouth to reply to that, second-guessed herself, then decided to say it anyway. “Oh, hell yeah. The way you got Roy killed, then dragged me around the world with you. That’s sure the basis of a healthy relationship.”

He slowly put his cards down. “I saved you.” He reminded her, sounding almost hurt by her accusation. “Where would you be without me?”

“I would still be in New York. With Hector. I’d still be someone I could stand to look at in the mirror! I wouldn’t be someone who did the things you’ve made me do.” She shot back. “This?” She pointed at herself. “This is someone I don’t even know! You did this to me! ”

“You don’t recognize yourself, because you’re not that girl anymore.

” He shook his head. “Everyone is only temporary. The human body is 72% water. That water is lost and replenished regularly. Cells are damaged and repaired over the years… Hair grows out and is cut…” He met her eyes, his tone almost pitying.

“The ‘you’ you remember being isn’t you anymore.

You’re a completely different person now, made up of new pieces and parts.

The original ‘you’ was lost down the drain or on the floor of the hair salon or in the 57 million skin cells you lose in the average day.

The you you are now never did any of those things you remember doing.

Never loved any of the people you remember, because you weren’t really there.

You’re now something else entirely. Something which merely remembers what another you did, with a different body, continuing on as a new actor in an ongoing play.

” He picked up his cards again. “You aren’t real.

You’re a re-cast, Kitten. And I, for one, think you’re much stronger now. ”

“I don’t…” She got out, still working up the nerve to have this conversation with him. It would lead to badness. And a lot of pain for herself. But it still needed to be said. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Ronnie.” She whispered. “Please just let me go.”

The words had their expected result, and the man’s expression darkened.

His grip on the cards grew so tight that the entire deck began to bend in half.

“You are who I tell you you are.” His eyes burned into hers threateningly.

“Do you understand me? You are MINE .” He slammed his palm on his chest. “I don’t give a shit about any powers you think you have or any desires you think you feel, unless they’re mine .

You are simply an extension of MY will. That was our deal when you came on this journey with me.

You will do what I tell you to do, and think what I tell you to think.

If you want to have some kind of identity crisis, you’re out of luck.

I am uninterested in humoring your ridiculous attempts at personal growth.

” He refocused on his game. “Shut your damn mouth and do as you’re told. ”

She watched him, her rage building until it seemed like a living thing.

She’d lived far too many years under his thumb as it was.

Been hurt by him too many times. “ I hate you so fucking much. ” She spat out through gritted teeth, mind racing through a million different ways she could kill him dead, all of them looking so wonderful, that she wasn’t able to choose any of them.

“I pray every night that you die screaming.”

He snorted in amusement at that. “Praying is the equivalent of the audience clapping in Peter Pan to bring Tinkerbelle back to life. ‘If you only just believe!’ It’s bullshit.” He rolled his eyes. “I prayed plenty and what did it ever get me, huh? As they…” He trailed off.

“Maybe God doesn’t answer your prayers because you’re a monster.” She challenged.

“Like he’s one to talk.” Mercygiver made an unconcerned face. “He’s killed as many people as I have. Almost.” He pointed at her. “And don’t start with me.” He warned. “You try to leave me or kill yourself again… and I’ll make you sorry , understand? ”

“I’ve been sorry my whole life.” She leaned back in her chair. “One day… you’re going to fall asleep while I’m in the room, and you’re never going to wake up, Ronnie.” She spat out. “Count on that.”

“You’re not going to touch me. I can’t be killed.”

An evil smirk crossed her face, filled with suicidal glee. “Wanna wager on it?”

She had taken all she was willing to take from that man.

One way or the other, she was ending it today.