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“Fuck you, it counts .” Roach insisted, looking at Oz in something close to pity. “Don’t spend your life dying, son. They’ll be more than enough time for that at the end.”

“Compared to my usual diet of burnt toast and red wine, that was like farm fresh vegetables.” Natalie obviously thought she was making great strides in her efforts to take better care of herself.

She gestured at Oz. “He totally owes me.” She picked up one of the bowls on the table. “Did anyone else want another roll? ”

He shook his head.

“I say, you eat what you want, when you want it.” Roach intoned in a theatrically “wise” tone, then turned to look at Oz in obvious disapproval.

“How did you ever end up in prison, boy? Had you pegged as a rule-follower, and those little dipshits don’t usually find themselves on the other side of the bars.

” He finally started eating the carrots May had demanded he at least try.

“What was it? Feeling up the sidekicks or were you just on the cocaine?”

Natalie glared at him again. “Hector!” She snapped. “That’s…”

“I was the subject of a nation-wide manhunt.” Oz found himself answering calmly, for some reason.

“My DNA matched every crime they tested it against. And when they finally tracked me down, they put me away. For seven years. In the deepest, darkest hole they could find. And they reminded me every day of the crimes I had committed and the kind of person I was.” He stared sightlessly into the dark mass of noodles in the bowl in front of him, feeling like he was a million miles away.

“As it turned out though, the government had spent four years and fifteen million dollars searching for the owner of that DNA profile, but it was only found to be present at all of those crime scenes because management at the medical supply factory where I worked was shipping out all of the swabs I’d pulled from the line on quality control issues.

So, my DNA was on the swabs the company sent to the forensics lab, which the police used to collect the evidence, so my DNA was seemingly at every crime scene.

And with my family history, that was enough to put me away for seven years. ”

The room listened to his story in silent amazement.

Then Roach burst into uproarious laughter, positively howling . “That’s fucking hysterical! ” The man praised, wheezing he was laughing so hard. “ Hys-fucking-terical! ”

Natalie glared at her adopted uncle reproachfully, getting angry with him.

But Oz started laughing too, suddenly struck by how completely ridiculous the world was sometimes. And how much time Oz had wasted in his life.

Natalie gaped at him in shock, surprised by how funny Oz thought his own life was at the moment.

He wasn’t sure why.

Her beautiful mouth made a little “O” in shock, which just made him laugh harder.

Then she held her hands out in mystification, smiling now too. “Did I miss something here?” She inquired, starting to chuckle. “ Are we really laughing about an innocent man being convicted of horrible crimes?”

That just set Roach off again, and he laughed so hard he needed to adjust the mixture on his oxygen tank.

He breathed deeply for several minutes, catching his breath.

When he spoke again, his tone was serious, like he was once again reminded of death.

“Looking back on your life, you realize something… it all sucked.” He announced with a sneer.

Everyone’s eyebrows rose, not expecting that.

“There are… a dozen moments in the average life that actually meant something.” Roach continued.

“The rest of it is bullshit. Just meaningless trash. Sleeping and shitting and listening to assholes talk at you about nonsense. Just waiting out the clock. 99% of everything you’ll ever do is pointless bullshit.

Once you come to the end of it, looking back, that’s what life is.

All it ever was.” He ate a carrot, wincing in obvious distaste.

“But this moment. This means something.” He gestured to them.

“We got family. And we’re alive. And it’s a lovely meal.

And when a moment like that happens, you’d better fucking cherish it.

Live in that brief moment. Because it’ll soon be gone.

And your life will be back to being shit.

You can withstand anything so long as you can live in hope for the next fucking moment that matters to come along. ”

The table fell into silence.

Oz thought about the man’s words for a moment, then looked around the table at the odd little family he’d somehow found himself spending the holiday with. He’d never really shared a holiday with a family before, even if it was one as dysfunctional as this one.

He raised his glass of purified, sparkling water. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“To RageGiving Day.” Natalie raised her glass beside his. “Fuck everyone who isn’t us.”

May and Roach followed suit.

Eventually, the food was gone and Natalie hustled to clear the table, because that’s what 1950s sitcom women seemed to do in these situations.

Personally, Oz would have gladly done it himself, but such a thing was apparently unthinkable with Natalie’s current personality.

She found the idea of him helping downright insulting.

Truth told, Oz found “Mrs. Cleaver” kind of spooky, so he didn’t want to press the issue.

So, Oz was left at the table, once again staring at Natalie’s adopted uncle.

“There comes a point in your life when your biggest concern is who will take care of the people you love after you’re gone.

” Roach said softly, his tone still serious.

“Because that’s a big fucking job and it requires someone truly extraordinary.

” He pointed at Oz. “And if you’re not that guy?

If that’s not you? I’ll take care of you right now. ” His voice was ice cold.

“I don’t know if I’m evil or a Cape… but I know I need Natalie.” Oz assured him, completely certain on that front. “And there isn’t anything you or anyone else could ever due to make me change my mind about that.”

Roach considered that silently for a moment. “Well… you have been to prison.”

“Wrongfully convicted.” Oz began to protest. “I was…”

“Don’t ruin it for me now, let me at least pretend you have some balls, boy.

” He looked at him appraisingly. “My brother would have liked you.” He decided, like it was his final judgement on Oz’s worth as a human being.

“I can work with you. You’re not perfect , mind you, but I can work with you.

” He firmed his jaw. “Welcome to the family.”

The words took Oz off-guard. But… they made him tremendously happy. No one had ever really wanted him around before, he was almost always an outsider.

“I’m probably not going to kill you tonight.” Roach added, ruining the beautiful moment.

“Oh… good.” Oz wasn’t sure how to reply to that. He hadn’t even been aware that option had formally been on the table.

“I’ve been kinda stressing about it this whole night, so I’m glad.

” Roach casually began to eat his slice of pecan pie.

“I was afraid I’d have to kill you at the dinner table, but then I’d have to listen to the girl bitch and moan about it for the entire meal.

I’ve seriously been dreading the mess that would make for me. ”

“That must have been very hard for you.” Oz deadpanned.

“It’s okay,” Roach clapped him on the back good-naturedly. “I forgive you.”