Page 16 of Not Afraid to Trust Again

It had been a few days since Elise gifted me a journal, and I had to admit that it was one of the best things I had ever received.

I never thought it would be helpful to write out my feelings, but it had helped tremendously.

There had been times when I wanted to talk to her about my feelings, but I never wanted to bring her mood down, so I kept it bottled up.

That was an unhealthy thing to do, but with this journal, I’d been releasing everything.

I even wrote out my good feelings. I had been carrying it with me to work just in case I needed to write something out while I sat idly in my patrol car.

Those were the times when my emotions got the best of me.

In the quietness of the night, I thought about the loss of our baby.

Each day had gotten better, and I hoped that one day we would be blessed with another baby.

I really enjoyed going to the boxing gym Elise took me to. It helped release a lot of what I felt, and I planned on going again at some point. Even if I didn’t go to that one, I would find somewhere to go closer to home. Or maybe I could install a punching bag in my house.

I pushed those thoughts to the side because Elise and I were having date night at my place.

I had a whole night planned for us to enjoy each other’s company, eat, and share some laughs.

We both needed something where we could just be happy—no work, no losses, nothing that could bring our moods down.

While I waited for Elise to come, I put the finishing touches on our night. I wanted us to cook together, so I had everything ready on the counter.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. I glanced around the living room to make sure everything was where I wanted it, then went to open the door.

“Good evening, Elise.” I held my hand out for her to take.

“Good evening, Kyden. Look at you being all formal,” she teased with a giggle.

When she stepped fully inside the house, I closed and locked the door. I stood to the side as she took her shoes off near the door.

“It’s only the polite thing to do.” I kissed her cheek. “How was your day?”

We walked further into the house to the living room. She took her hoodie off before sitting on the couch.

Since we were having a chill night, she wore sweatpants and a Nae’s Threads hoodie. Her curls were pulled into a messy bun. She looked comfortable, and that was all I wanted.

“It was busy but good. How was yours?” Her eyes darted to the things on the table, then at me.

I sat next to her and turned my body slightly to face her.

“My day wasn’t bad. I missed you though. I wanted to stop by the pharmacy to see you, but work got in the way.”

Redness tinted her cheeks.

“I missed you too. It was so busy, I hardly got a chance to eat.”

“That’s not good, but we won’t worry about that now. I have a nice little night set up for us.”

Curiosity filled her eyes when she looked at the things on the table again.

“Is this part of it?” She gestured to the table.

I stood from my seat and stretched my hand out. She put hers into mine, and I helped her up from the couch.

“Yes, it is. But first, you and I are going to make our dinner for the night,” I informed her.

“Is that so?”

I gave a light peck to her lips. “Yes.” I led her into the kitchen.

Elise’s eyes lit up when she saw all the ingredients on the counter. I grabbed the apron I had gotten especially for her, placed it around her neck, tied the back behind her waist, then placed a kiss on her shoulder.

“And I get an apron.” She looked down at it and laughed. “Sheriff’s helper.” She laughed again. “This is cute.”

“And so are you. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”

“Me too.”

Since it was a Tuesday, we had tacos with all of the fixings. We had the option of hard and soft tacos, as well as beef or chicken. I wasn’t a fan of beans so as a side option there was Mexican corn, and Mexican rice.

“Let’s get started. Do you want beef or chicken?” I asked. I didn’t want to make both meats if we weren’t going to eat them.

“Both.”

“Both it is. I can do one while you do the other.”

As we cooked, we talked about our days and the latest thing we watched on television.

It felt good being in this calming space with her.

We were able to vibe and forget about the world for a while.

Everything felt natural with her, and I could picture us cooking together in the future.

I pictured our kids running around or helping us as we prepared a family dinner.

The vision was clear, and I just hoped it came true.

I didn’t want to think about what could get in the way of that, so I shook the negativity away.

Every so often, we would glance at each other or share a quick kiss while we cooked.

“If you could be a flavor of ice cream, what would it be and why?” Elise asked as she browned the beef.

A deep laugh rumbled from my belly. “What?”

“You heard me, now answer.”

I had to think about it for a minute, because that wasn’t something normal.

“I would have to say mint chocolate chip because it’s your favorite, and I know you would lick me every chance you got.”

Her freckles looked darker when her cheeks rose and got red.

“I should have known you would be fresh.” She narrowed her eyes and pointed the spatula at me.

I shrugged. “You asked. Now you answer.”

She stirred the beef again and hummed. A few seconds later, she turned the pot off and faced me.

“Butter pecan.” She smirked. “For the same reason you said.”

I turned my pot off and stepped closer to her.

“I don’t need you to be my favorite ice cream for me to want to lick you.” I leaned in close and licked the side of her neck. My dick jumped when she moaned. “Let’s get back to this food, because we have some other things to do.” I kissed her neck and stepped away.

I had to distract myself so my dick would go down. Elise just had to exist in my presence and my dick would get hard. That was how attracted to her I was.

“Like all that stuff that was on the table?” she asked as she drained the beef.

“Yes.”

We got busy finishing up the food and making our plates.

Since we had options, we each had beef and chicken with hard and soft shells.

Elise only ate some of the corn, whereas I ate the rice.

There was some leftovers, so if she wanted to, she could take some for lunch the next day.

I for sure was making myself a plate for lunch.

“How can we create more positive moments when we are together?” Elise asked.

I finished chewing the food in my mouth before using my napkin to wipe off any excess food.

“Be intentional about the things we do together. If there are any negative moments, we work together to turn them around. Of course, we need to address things, but there is no need to dwell on them. I feel like if we do things that we could agree on that make us both happy, then we’ll be good.”

“I like that, and I agree.”

I nodded and picked up my last taco. The evening was still young, but I didn’t want us to wait too long to get to the next step of the night.

We spent a few minutes putting the kitchen back together before heading to the living room. Since Elise took a detour to the bathroom, I took that time to set everything up. I had to put some cushions on the floor and grab a few towels from the linen closet in the hallway.

“For this part, we have to sit on the floor. Are you okay with that?” I asked when she entered the living room.

“Yes, sir.”

I helped her to the cushions on the floor, then sat next to her.

Once we were both comfortable, I gave her a mixing bowl and a spatula.

“We have all of the things to make our own face mask,” I informed her. “We can do a moisturizing one, or something for evening skin tone. Or we can do softening or exfoliation. Whatever you want, we can do.”

“How did you know what to get?” she asked as she looked at everything spread out.

“Google and your sister.” I chuckled.

I had no idea what to do or what to get, but Janae helped me tremendously.

I just knew how I wanted the night to turn out, and Janae mentioned this idea.

She informed me that Elise’s skin tended to dry out when the weather changed, and with everything that happened, she hadn’t done her skincare like she usually did.

I found a website online that carried something called GLO oil, so I purchased some to add to whatever we made. We could also use it separately as a moisturizer.

“Looks like you have everything here.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You did a good job.”

“Thank you. Do you know what you are going to start with?”

Her eyes roamed the ingredients on the table until they landed on the honey. She reached over and poured some honey into the bowl then grabbed her next ingredient.

“Yup,” she said with a smile as she added something else to her bowl and stirred it.

I picked up a few things and added them to my bowl as well.

Once we had everything mixed, we applied our face masks, and I set a timer. Elise and I leaned against the couch while the masks did their thing.

“What was the one thing that attracted you to me when we first met?” I asked.

We added cucumber slices to our eyes, so our eyes were closed.

“It may sound cliché, but your presence. Even the way you stood demanded my attention. And when you looked at me, my heart skipped a beat. Your gaze never wavered, even when you spoke to everyone else.”

“Damn. Your freckles were the first thing that caught my eye. The way the sun made them look like glitter sprinkled across your face. It was your eyes too. They were bright, but I could tell you were dealing with something.” I reached over and squeezed her knee.

Silence fell over the room. The ticking of the timer was the only thing that could be heard.

“Sheesh. Do you think you are a jealous person?” Elise asked after a few minutes had passed.

“I never had been, but I really think I would be when it comes to you,” I told her. I heard her suck her teeth from the side of me. “I’m being for real.” I reached for her hand and held it. “You are my girl, Elise, and I will lock someone up for messing with you.”

“Aren’t you sweet. You don’t have to worry about that though.”

Just then, the timer went off. We removed the cucumbers and put them on the table. I stood first, then helped her up so we could wash our faces off. She used the half bathroom while I used the one upstairs. When we were done, we met back in the living room.

As we stood in the middle of the living room, Elise wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.

“Thank you for today. It was fun cooking with you and doing skincare.”

“No problem. I enjoyed it, and I think it’s something we should do more often.” I kissed the top of her head.

“I think so too.”

We held each other for a little longer before we separated and cleaned up all the supplies. Once the stuff was put away, we popped popcorn and sat on the couch to watch movies. Elise sat on one end with her feet in my lap while I massaged them.

I couldn’t have asked for a better way to end the night.