Page 15 of Not Afraid to Trust Again

It had been weeks since the miscarriage, and I had been feeling so much better.

There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about the baby.

I wore the necklace from Kyden every single day.

I knew it would take more time for me to fully feel better, but I appreciated the days when I didn’t cry.

Kyden had been so patient and understanding during this time, and I felt like I needed to do something nice for him. We both lost our baby, but he seemed to cater to my needs more than his own, so it was only right that I reciprocate.

“What are we doing in Woodlake Valley?” Kyden asked as we passed a sign.

I researched healthy ways to release hurt and anger, and one of the things was boxing.

Kyden seemed to be okay when he was around, but I knew how bad the loss was for him.

I loved that he worried about my feelings, but I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to release whatever feelings he may have been harboring.

I glanced over at him and smiled. I hadn’t told him where we were going, just to dress as he would if he were going to the gym. He was skeptical at first, but it didn’t take much to convince him.

“You’ll see. We are almost there.” I focused on the road to get us to our destination safely.

I never had to drive when I was with Kyden, but this was a special day. I wanted him to relax and enjoy himself.

A couple of minutes later, I pulled up to the gym.

“A boxing gym?” Kyden’s eyes traveled from the front of the building, then back to me.

I shut the car off and undid my seat belt.

“Yes. I figured it would be a good idea for us to let off some steam.”

“What makes you think I need to let off some steam?”

I put my finger on my chin and tapped it.

I reached over and grabbed his hand. His brown eyes roamed over my face.

“Because of everything that has gone on. You’ve taken such great care of me, and I wanted to do something for you. This is just the beginning of our day. You work so hard, and no matter what, you make sure I’m good. I just want to make sure you are good as well.”

Kyden lifted our joined hands and kissed the back of mine.

“Elise, you didn’t have to do anything for me. As long as you are good, I’m good.”

“And for me to be good, I need to know you are good. That’s how this works, Ky. I know you like to be in charge all the time but let me take the reins today.”

Kyden was the type of man who didn’t let or like others to do things for him.

My father was the same way. He would do everything for us but couldn’t take the help when we tried to give it to him.

Whenever he did take it, he would fuss the whole time.

Kyden not only made sure the town was safe, but he also protected anyone around him, including me.

He exhaled and dropped his shoulders.

“I’ll let you take the reins today.”

I let go of his hand and clapped mine. I leaned over the seat and pecked his lips. “Thank you. I promise you are going to have a good time.”

“I don’t doubt that.” The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile.

“Let’s go.”

Even though I drove, Kyden still came around to my side and opened the door for me.

“Hello. Welcome to Ross Gym.” A young man greeted us when we walked inside.

Men and women worked out around the gym. A big boxing ring was in the middle of the room. Sweat mixed with some type of fragrance filled the air. It didn’t have that nasty smell a lot of gyms had, but one could still tell it was a gym.

“Hi, we have a session scheduled with Noah,” I informed the guy. “Kanae and Kyden.”

“Follow me. He told me to look out for you two.”

Kyden and I held hands as we followed him through the gym.

I found out about the gym from social media. I followed his wife when she was boxing, but she had gotten injured and no longer fought. From their social media, she taught boxing lessons to women and young girls.

The guy stopped when we reached a small section with punching bags. It was two guys talking. One was the guy Noah I noticed from his wife’s page, and his cousin, who owned the gym with him.

“Noah, I have Kanae and Kyden here,” the guy told Noah when we approached.

Noah said something to his cousin, then turned to face us.

Damn, he was fine in person. The pictures on social media didn’t do him any justice. I wasn’t interested or anything, but I wasn’t blind.

“How’s it going? Welcome.” Noah shook Kyden’s hand first, then mine.

“Thanks. I didn’t know I was coming here until we pulled up.” Kyden chuckled.

“Nothing wrong with a little surprise,” Noah said. “My wife likes to surprise me all the time.”

Noah’s eyes lit up when he mentioned his wife.

“Let’s get started.” Noah led us over to the punching bags and gave us some brand-new boxing gloves.

Once we were ready, he showed us how to properly stand and punch the bag.

Noah stood to the side and watched us as we did the things he showed us.

With each punch, I released all the hurt I felt from losing the baby and what happened to me in college.

At one point, I had tears in my eyes, and I let them fall as I continued punching and kicking.

I tried to hide it from Kyden, but he was always so observant.

He stopped punching his bag and walked over to me.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” His tone was so soft it made me cry more. He snatched off his gloves and held me.

“I’m okay. I promise,” I whispered against his chest. I hated to be the one crying in the middle of a boxing gym.

Kyden pulled back and studied my face. Since my hands were still covered with the gloves, he wiped my face with his shirt.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I shook my shoulders. “We are supposed to be here for you releasing stress, not me.”

“I am, but I saw you crying.”

I didn’t want this to be about me, so I stood on my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I’m good. Let’s get back to it.”

I stepped out of his arms and went back to my bag.

For over an hour, Kyden and I punched and kicked the bags until we were sweaty and tired.

“Whew, I didn’t know I needed that, but I’m glad we did it. Are you okay?” Kyden asked as he pulled me into his arms.

I didn’t care that we both were sweaty; I basked in the comfort of his arms.

I looked up at him and gazed into his eyes. I knew my hair was a mess, but the way Kyden looked at me with so much love, it didn’t matter.

“I’m great. This was great. I feel so much lighter. I wouldn’t mind doing this again. Maybe we don’t have to come all the way here though.” I giggled.

Woodlake Valley wasn’t too far from Sweetwater Hills, but I didn’t see myself driving there whenever I felt like letting off steam.

“I feel better too. Thank you for this.” Kyden kissed my nose. “Are we going to ride all the way back home all sweaty?”

“No. I have clothes for us in the car.”

Kyden didn’t know, but when I picked him up, I packed a bag for him while he was in the bathroom getting dressed. I had to be quick about it, but I got it done.

“Really? How?”

“I have my ways.” I winked.

He put his hand out for the keys. “I’ll get them.”

I got the keys from my bag and handed them to him.

I talked to one of the ladies while I waited for Kyden to come back.

The gym had big locker rooms with showers, so Kyden and I showered and changed so we could move on to the next part of our date.

Almost an hour later, Kyden and I had gone to a diner to eat lunch. I had a small gift for him in the car that I had hidden in the trunk, but I snuck it inside the diner.

While we waited for our food, I checked in with Kyden.

“How are you feeling? I know I asked at the gym, but how are you feeling for real?”

He scrubbed his hand down his face and glanced out of the window. I reached over and rubbed my hand over his.

“Every day it’s different. Some days I’m good, then other days I want to cry. I try to be strong for you because I know it affected you more, but it still hurts. It’s crazy how we could go from being happy about having a baby to the baby not being here. Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around it.”

My eyes burned with tears because the pain in his eyes made me sad. I wanted to take the pain away from him and couldn’t.

“I understand, and I feel the same way. The only thing we can do is continue being there for each other. I do have something for you though.” I reached into the bag beside me and pulled out the gift.

I passed it to Kyden and he ran his hand over the front of it.

It was a leather journal with his name engraved on the front.

“This is nice.” He turned the journal over in his hand.

“I got it for you to journal. I know sometimes you don’t like to talk about how you are feeling, and that’s okay. I just don’t want you to hold it in either.”

Water pooled in his eyes, and he looked out the window again.

Kyden put the journal on the seat next to him and grabbed my hands.

“Thank you, Elise. Not just for the journal, but for being there for me. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better. It worked.” He kissed both of my hands and smiled.

“You’re welcome. I want to make sure I’m pouring into you the same way you pour into me.”

“You are definitely doing that.” He leaned over the table for a kiss.

The waitress came over with our food, and while we ate, we discussed lighter topics.

We spent the rest of the day laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

I wasn’t sure if we would ever get over the hurt of losing a baby, but I knew better days were coming for Kyden and me.