Page 89 of Loving Wild

“I also got my bits waxed,” I admit with a brow wiggle.

“Did you now? And who’d you make all this effort for I wonder? I mean, I love you, girl, but you know I love dick more.”

I move my hand to cover my heart and look at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, feigning offence.

“Harsh, babe, you wouldn’t give it a try? Just for me? I mean, it is freshly waxed,” I tell her with a wink while brushing my tongue over my top lip.

“Don’t do that. That’s disturbing, not sexy. Not even a little bit sexy.”

“Gabe loves my tongue.” I regret bringing him up before the words even leave my mouth and lean back in my chair waiting for my friend to walk through the door I just left wide open for her.

“What you gonna do?” she asks quietly.

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly and on a heavy sigh. “I wish I was at home curled up in bed with him right now . . .”

“Thanks. Good to know you’re enjoying my company so much,” she interrupts sarcastically, tilting her glass towards me.

“You’re welcome, not your fault you’re boring,” I reply with a sweet smile. “Any way, where was I?”

“At home in bed with Gabe.”

“Yeah, so I wish I was there, but I also know that right now, that’s the last place I should be. We have shit to work through. On the one hand, I don’t want to be trying to fix us while we’re living together. On the other, I miss him and want to be able to work twenty-four-seven on fixing us.”

I pause for a moment and take a sip of my wine.

“I’m so sick of the drama, Jo. I’m too old for all this shit. I feel like my life has gone backwards. I’ve got more drama going on now than I did when I was fifteen. I also think I was making better choices back then too.”

She shrugs, takes a sip of her own drink and studies me for a few seconds.

“I think it comes down to how badly you want this. How hard are you prepared to fight for what you’ve found with him?”

“That’s the reason I left, why I felt we needed some time apart. I didn’t feel I had any fight left in me. I felt defeated when his exes kept popping up everywhere I turned. The voices inside my head were telling me they were prettier, slimmer, funnier, that he’ll cheat, leave me, go back to them or his man whoring ways, and I thought, if I left, if I just gave myself some time to regroup, I’d have the strength to fight off the voices, the overthinking.”

“Have you done that?”

“I don’t fucking know,” I admit. “It was like, as soon as I was away from him, none of that mattered anyway. It’s like Lou said, what hurts more, dealing with his exes, or being away from him,” I add another shrug as I talk.

“Probably one of the most profound things Lou has ever said in her life.”

“Probably, and fuck Lou for being so wise and making me think about her question.”

“Fuck Lou,” she holds up her glass, I tap mine against it. “So, I’ll ask again, what you gonna do?”

“Probably go home Sunday and ride his dick and his face till next Friday when he has to pick Ava up.”

“Do you not think you need to talk before fucking?”

“Mehh, manners are overrated. We can both talk with our mouths full.”

There’s a full five seconds of silence before we both burst out laughing.

“I love you, you crazy fucking redhead,” she tells me with a huge smile on her face.

“Love you too,” I reply.

Holding my glass up, she taps hers against mine. “To friends and floors,” we say in unison. “May they both always be there to hold us up.”

After refilling our glasses and eating more food, like I knew she would, Jo comes back to the subject of me and Gabe.